About a year ago, I had already consulted a lawyer about getting a divorce. However, to be honest, I could not let go.

Lucian and I had known each other since the eighth grade, and I had pursued him for a long time. It took a whole year before he finally agreed to date me. It had been 11 years, and he had occupied my entire youth.

During those 11 years, he had liked other women and had his share of flings, too. The problem was that his parents disapproved of them. Hence, under their pressure, he eventually married me instead.

Yet, even after all this time, even after we were already married, I still never got him to love me.

I could pretty much guess who the woman he was talking to on the phone was. It had to be Esme Barrett, his first love. The first time I had seriously considered divorce was also because of her.

Back then, we had just gotten married, and we went to my mom's place for dinner. She knew he loved seafood, so she would always get up early to go to the fish market and prepare all kinds of ingredients. Then, she would come home to cook him a huge spread.

Even though we could never finish everything, she would still make tons of food every time. She was terrified of letting her precious son-in-law go hungry.

As usual, my mom had prepared a table full of seafood that day, and Lucian was cracking a crab when his phone rang.

I glanced over and saw the contact name was just two letters.

[E.B.]

Lucian did not even bother wiping his hands and frantically answered the call. "Don't worry. It's fine. I'm not busy. I'll come over right away."

After hanging up, he threw on his jacket and said that one of his army buddies was having some trouble and needed him to help sort it out. Before my mom could even ask any questions, he was already out the door.

My gut told me it definitely was not an army buddy; it had to be Esme.

As it turned out, my instincts were right. I saw a photo on one of his friends' social media, and even though it was taken in a dimly lit bar, I could recognize Lucian. He was in a tracksuit, pressing close to a woman and grinning from ear to ear. He had even styled his hair with gel.

That woman was Esme.

Lucian came home very late that night. He was in an excellent mood, even whistling while he showered.

Meanwhile, I lay in the darkness feeling like I was trapped in an ice-cold hell.

At first, he probably had not crossed too many lines since it was still early in the marriage. Moreover, they only contacted each other occasionally.

Even so, how could I not notice that he had fallen for someone else?

I had looked at him the exact same way when I was in love with him, eyes sparkling.

Before long, Lucian started coming home later and later. He was always clutching his phone with a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, like a teenager experiencing his first love.

No matter how much I cried or made a scene, he always responded with the same dismissive reply. "You're too old to be this dramatic. If you really don't trust me, then let's get divorced."

He knew me too well and exactly where my weak spots were, so he always used that threat to shut me up. Of course, I fell for it every single time because I was terrified of leaving him.

Looking back now, what always made me back down was not Lucian himself, but my love for him. I had loved him for 11 years, and I was too unwilling to let go.

Nonetheless, I was not planning on loving him anymore.

I wanted to love myself instead.

Getting divorced over a bracelet probably sounded ridiculous to anyone who heard it. However, this was simply the final straw.

I got the divorce agreement and snapped a picture to send to Lucian. I did not bother adding a single word to the message.

For a long time, there was no reply. So, I called him and asked, "Did you see the photo I sent you?"

Lucian replied impatiently, "What is it this time? Food, drinks, or some stupid meme? How many times do I have to tell you not to send me pointless stuff..."

I cut him off, saying, "It's a divorce agreement. Take a look at it, and if everything's fine, come home and sign it."

There was silence on the other end. He was probably reading it.

Lucian laughed with disdain. "Meredith Carter, why are you acting like you're in some soap opera? I work my ass off to support you and this household, and now I'm supposed to coddle you and play along with your drama?"

I interrupted him again. "Lucian, if I remember correctly, I used to have a job that paid pretty well. It was you and your parents who insisted I shut my studio and come home to take care of the family.

"Housekeepers these days charge at least 3,000 dollars a month. Also, it's not just our house. I'm constantly going over to help your parents, too. So who's really supporting whom here?"

His tone turned defensive and angry. "You’re too old to be acting crazy!"

I stayed calm. "I saw the lion charm bracelet in the study."

Lucian’s voice trembled slightly. "All because of that thing?"

I was still calm. "Yes. It's exactly because of that thing."

The silence dragged on again. However, I was getting impatient. "I know you're already on leave, so let's just get this done while you're off duty. If you don't agree, I can file a lawsuit, but you should think about it carefully. We're in a military marriage. If this gets messy, I'm not the one who's going to look bad."

Lucian snarled. "Just wait. I'll be home in a bit."

After hanging up, I let out a long breath of relief.

Lucian came home quickly. I noticed he was wearing casual clothes and had not brought any luggage. I frowned and pushed the divorce agreement and pen in front of him.

"Go ahead and sign it."

Lucian picked up the pen, paused for a moment, and contemptuously said, "Meredith, you better not come crawling back to me crying and begging."

I had brought up divorce before, but I was always the one who gave in at the end, crying and pleading with him to work things out. He knew exactly where my weak spots were.

So, he also knew exactly how to hurt me the most.

In the past, seeing him about to sign the papers would have terrified me, and I would have been sobbing and begging him not to leave. Nevertheless, I would not do that anymore. I just wanted to end this torturous marriage as quickly as possible.

I picked up my coat and said, "Hurry up and sign it. Let's go to the courthouse to make an appointment. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can get it finalized. Otherwise, you'll have to take leave just to come back again."

Lucian's expression grew serious. "Meredith, are you sure about this? Look at the house you're living in, the car you drive, the food you eat, the clothes you wear... I gave you all of that. Without me, you won't have any of this."

I did not even bother looking up at him. "Hurry up, the courthouse will be closing soon."

Lucian gritted his teeth and growled, "Fine!"

After signing the papers, he slammed the pen down hard on the table and said, "Don't you dare regret this."

After we finished the appointment paperwork, Lucian left me stranded at the courthouse and drove off by himself, kicking up dust in my face. I took a cab and went back to pack my things, only taking a few essential clothes.

As I was about to leave, Lucian shouted, "Take those three damn cats with you, too."

I turned back and smiled at him. "Our divorce isn't finalized yet, so we're still legally married. You need to take good care of those cats for me."

Then, I slammed the door and walked out, leaving Lucian with a thunderous expression.

I did not tell my mom about any of this. Since I had not had time to rent a place yet, I had to stay in a hotel for the time being. Hence, I could not bring the cats with me.

The three little ones would just have to tough it out for a while.

My mood was surprisingly good as I put on some soft music and took a long bath. I ordered my favorite barbecue and a few beers. As I sat by the hotel's huge floor-to-ceiling windows, drinking and looking out at the view, I suddenly realized that divorcing Lucian was not actually that difficult.

I used to think I could not live without him. However, I felt an unexpected sense of relief and lightness. It was like a thorn that had been stuck in my throat was finally pulled out, and I could breathe freely again.

Maybe I had stopped loving him a long time ago and was just used to having him around. My love had been completely drained by this broken marriage.