Chapter 6
Yuri
Neither of us said anything for a long moment. The wind off the lake picked up, carrying woodsmoke from the fire and the distant thump of the speaker, and I suddenly realized how close Fern was standing, close enough that if I moved even slightly, I'd be against him.
"You're shivering," he said.
"I'm fine."
"You're a terrible liar, Yuri." But he shrugged out of his jacket anyway and put it over my shoulders before I could say anything or disagree, the fabric was still warm from his body, smelling faintly of his cologne and smoke. My skin prickled everywhere it touched.
"Thanks," I said quietly, pulling it tighter around myself, that was I had something to do with my hands than leaving it in the cold.
"You don't have to keep your distance from me," he said quietly. "I know I probably come off as...."
"Terrifying? Out of control? Like you're one bad day away from actually eating someone?"
That surprised a laugh out of him a real one, low and rough, nothing like the practiced charm he used on everyone else. "Something like that."
"So which is it?"
He looked at me for a long moment, like he was deciding how much truth I could handle. "Careful," he finally said. "That's the word I'd use. I'm careful. Especially around you."
"Why especially around me?"
"Because you make it hard to be careful."
The words just hung in the air, feeling way more powerful than they should have, considering how casually he'd spoken them. My heart started beating fast, and I got that thrill of curiosity that always seemed to get me into trouble, the same kind that Jessica was always telling me to beware of, the kind that drew me to things I knew I should be avoiding. It was like I was being pulled toward something, even though my instincts were screaming at me to back away.
"I still don't get why you're staring at me," I said, trying to sound calm, but my voice came out quieter than I wanted it to.
"No," he agreed. He took a step closer, slow, like he was giving me every chance to step back. I didn't.
His hand came up, brushing a strand of hair back from my face, and his fingers were against my jaw for a moment longer than they needed to. Up close, his eyes weren't just brown, they had gold in them that caught the distant firelight, and something in them looked almost like hunger that had been held.
"Fern..."
"I know," he said softly. "I know what this looks like. I know what I look like. But I'm not going to do anything you don't want."
"That's not... I'm not scared of you." And as I said it, I realized it was true. Whatever strange thing I sensed underneath his skin, I wasn't afraid of it. I was afraid of how much I wanted to find out what it was.
He must have seen that on my face, because his jaw tightened and he traced his thumb along my cheekbone. "Yuri."
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to kiss you now. Tell me to stop if you don't want me to."
I didn't tell him to stop.
His lips touched mine, slow and gentle at first, like he was waiting for me to push him away. But I didn't, I pulled him closer, my fingers gripping the front of his shirt. Something inside him seemed to let go, and the kiss got deeper. For a moment, everything else faded away, the noise of the party, the cold night air, and all I could feel was his warmth and the sound he made against my mouth. It was like he was trying to hold back, but something wilder was trying to break free.
When we finally broke apart, both of us breathing harder than a kiss should have justified, he rested his forehead against mine.
"That," he said, in a rough voice, "is going to be a problem."
"Why?"
"Because now I know exactly what I'm going to be thinking about for the rest of this bonfire."
I felt so embarrassed. "Fern..."
"I'm behaving," he said, though the low rasp in his voice suggested it was costing him something to do it. "Believe me, behaving has never taken this much effort before."
Somewhere behind us, Jessica's laughter rang out over the crowd, and reality came trickling back.
The fire, the music, the fact that half the hockey team and half our sorority row were only a few hundred feet away. I stepped back first this time, pulling his jacket tighter around myself.
"We should get back before Jessica sends a search party," I said.
Fern's eyes followed the movement, a pleased smile flickering across his face at the sight of her in his jacket. "After you."
We walked back toward the fire in silence, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one, it was charged, like the night had taken a different turn and neither of us wanted to be the one to say it out loud. Just before we reached the crowd, I could feel his hand on my waist, brief and light, gone as soon as I felt it.
"This isn't over," he whispered, close to my ear.
I believed him completely. And worse, I wanted him to be right.