INT. PRINCIPAL DIAZ'S OFFICE – DAY
Rahbeem is wincing.
RAHBEEM
Both those boys sound terrifying!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
(Chuckles)
Look, neither Maxim nor Eddie are bad kids. And I know Eddie has been through a lot.
Professor Diaz shakes his head.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
When Kaye Beltran died, I took Eddie, Seth, Chris, and Richard on as my own personal apprentices. Each boy is so uniquely talented, and I used their powers to help build and guard this school.
Diaz shuts the folder.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
That's why it's their stupid ass fault the school was destroyed, and I got burnt at the stake.
RAHBEEM
Well, you just don't make good decisions. That's why I'm sitting here and you ain't got no Quidditch!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
(Smiles patiently)
That's still not real.
RAHBEEM
Look, I can talk to the little brotha, maybe try to find out where these new philosophies of his came from. But um...Hey! What happened to Teen Jesus?
Diaz visibly transitions from concern to stress.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Yes...Richard...
RAHBEEM
Did you really tell Jesus to F.U.?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
He is not "Jesus." He is a stupid boy.
RAHBEEM
Stop calling the children stupid.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Dumb? Ignoramus?
RAHBEEM
No!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
He's just...like, a golden retriever that has learned how to talk but forgotten how to listen.
RAHBEEM
Maybe so. But if you are a demon and can't deal with him, what am I supposed to do?
Professor Diaz goes into his desk and fishes out some paperwork.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Professor Roth, I am a 300-year-old vampire. I can grade papers. I can say yes or no to things. I can handle everything, but knowing what to do with a student like Richard Beltran. That is a human's specialty.
RAHBEEM
What's wrong with him?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
I told you, he's an IDIOT.
Rahbeem makes a disgusted face and shakes his head as the African accent returns.
RAHBEEM
You are a bad man to speak of the children this way!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
You'll see! He's a cute blonde puppy that causes chaos wherever he goes.
Professor Diaz looks at his watch.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Any hoo, I have to go find "Da young Messiah" and make sure he's not ditching class to kill what's left of his brain cells on drugs.
RAHBEEM
It can't be that bad.
Diaz scrunches his face up at Rahbeem as he rises and starts heading for the door.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
You can see for yourself if you'd like. And I can give you a quick tour of the school as we search for him.
Rahbeem gets up, shaking his head, chuckling.
RAHBEEM
Teen Jesus...man! That kid used to crack me up. And I tell you, whenever I'm about to do something I know is wrong, his voice is like a guiding light in my soul saying "Yo!-
He takes a thugged-out buffalo stance.
RAHBEEM
I'm too fresh for sin!
Diaz glares at him.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Stop that!
Rahbeem "The Rebel" maintains the buffalo stance a moment longer, fully loving the feel of power he gets from it. Then he snaps out of it.
RAHBEEM
Alright, let's go.
He straightens up and heads out of the office door.
Diaz watches him, giving him a mischievous smile. This mortal will be fun.
He looks over his office one more time, sighs, and closes the door behind them.
INT. THE MAGIC SCHOOLS BOYS' BATHROOM – DAY
Richard "Vegas" Beltran, now bigger and even more confused looking at 16 years old, is hanging out with his fellow magic school delinquents.
With him is JINJY TUSKIONO, a tall Asian boy with long dreadlocks. SCOOBY and ASTRO PALADINO, the werewolves. And KEVIN MARBLES, a short, Beetlejuice-style boy who's sitting inside the bathroom sink.
Buck Kissinger from the demon hunter's school is also hanging with them. He's high as hell, smoking a joint, ever so often singing one of those angelic chants of his.
JINJY
I told you, Vegas, you just need to get between 0.23 and 0.55 spirit points to get Toad out of that God forsaken mirror!
VEGAS
(Whines)
I can't do it! It's too hard!
Astro and Scooby are currently in human form.
SCOOBY
(To Jinjy)
Yo! Pass it, bro!
Jinjy pulls out a bunch of little baggies with glowing pills and tosses one bag to Scooby.
JINJY
I'm not doing it for you, Vegas! You're going to get Toad out of that mirror yourself! He's your familiar!
In response, Vegas starts quivering, then screams, cries out, and collapses to the floor, shaking violently.
KEVIN
Told you if you didn't quit stressing him, he would fake a seizure.
Jinji kicks Vegas hard while he's on the ground.
VEGAS
OW!
ASTRO
How the hell did you get trapped in the mirror anyway, Toad?
The camera pans around, so now we're facing the large bathroom mirror. None of the boy's images are reflected; the only "person" we see in the reflective glass is TOAD DWEEZIL, a green-haired boy/demon with a joint in his mouth. He's absently playing a Nintendo Switch while leaning lazily on the glass.
TOAD
He threw me in here to chase out some kind of clown demon.
VEGAS
(Climbing up off the floor)
That thing keeps showing up in my bedroom at night! It haunts my nightmares!
TOAD
He's your agent. He said you agreed to the 65% commission.
ASTRO
65%? Is that standard nowadays?
KEVIN
(Shivers)
The agent gets 65% of your money?! I'm not even in showbiz, and I'm gonna have nightmares.
The bathroom door begins to squeak and open slowly. The boys inside panic, thinking it's a teacher. Jinjy flings the baggies of drugs into the air, and they disappear in a magical poof.
CHARLES CHEVALIER enters.
VEGAS
Charles!
He runs up excitedly to the new teen.
VEGAS
Did you get it? Did you get it?
CHARLES
Stupid! Of course, I got it! I'm the man! I can get anything!
He fishes inside his book bag and pulls out an old black leather book.
CHARLES
Look at this! And I got it fast, too, right?
He hands Vegas the giant spell book.
JINJY
What is that?
VEGAS
(Twist his lips at him)
My business, Tuskiono. That's what it is!
The Palidino brothers start sniffing the book like dogs.
SCOOBY
This book smells...
He and Astro look at each other.
SCOOBY
Positively E-VIL!
Vegas rolls his eyes and laughs.
VEGAS
Astro, Scooby, I know you guys identify as werewolves and all. But do you hear yourselves?
VEGAS
(Makes a face, mocking them)
The book smells evil, Vegas! Oooh!! You guys are scared of books? That explains your grades last semester.
JINJY
This evil-looking spell book might explain how your grades haven't gotten you kicked out of here yet.
Vegas glares at him and makes another face, mocking Jinjy.
Buck sings a heavenly chant until he starts coughing from inhaling the smoke.
INT. THE MAGIC SCHOOLS HALLWAY – DAY
Professor Diaz and Professor Roth are walking through the halls, chatting.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
I haven't caught Vegas in any of his hangouts so far. But we haven't caught him in any of his classes either.
RAHBEEM
Who's Vegas?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
That's Richard Beltran's nickname around these "hoods."
Professor Roth nods as the duo stops in front of the boy's bathroom door.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
This is the last of his hangout spots.
RAHBEEM
Well, what are we gonna do? Just bust in on them?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Yeah, let's get the drop on them! I want you to see for yourself what has become of your PRECIOUS Richard Beltran.
Rahbeem looks at him, disgruntled.
RAHBEEM
Why is it every time you say this kid's name, you sound like you're plotting to kill him?
Professor Diaz sniffs the air, and then his face crunches.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Do you smell that?
RAHBEEM
What?
Professor Diaz looks at the door dramatically, knowing that's where the smell is coming from.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Ecto...
INT. THE BOYS' BATHROOM – DAY
Buck is now singing "O Fortuna" as the book in Vegas's hands glows with a bright red light.
JINJY
Vegas, get rid of it! Now the book is glowing with pure demonic energy!
VEGAS
(Laughs, oblivious to the danger)
Ahh, Vegas! Da book is glowing with demonic energy! Do you hear yourself, Jinjy?
Buck sings louder as the book begins to bleed.
KEVIN
Yo, your book is having its period!
TOAD
(Doped up laugh)
Book? Period? Get it?
Never takes his eyes off the game.
TOAD
That's a grammar joke, bitch!
VEGAS
(Adorably oblivious)
Your scary bleeding period spell book is scaring us! Waaah! It's scary! We're so scared, Vegas!
INT. OUTSIDE THE BOYS' BATHROOM – CONTINUE
BEETLE BANGZ, a superhero in a costume similar to Spider Man's or Deadpool's, approaches Professor Diaz and Rahbeem.
BEETLE BANGZ
Rahbeem, is that you?
Rahbeem turns when he hears his name.
RAHBEEM
BEETLE BANGZ, BABY!
The two men start doing a complex fist bump greeting that ends with them jumping and making finger guns at each other.
RAHBEEM & BEETLE BANGZ
...Let me holla 'atcha!!
Professor Diaz watches the entire ordeal with interest.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
You two know each other?
RAHBEEM
Yeah, man! I know Beetle Bangz.
Then Rahbeem's face changes, and he sizes Beetle Bangz up a little
RAHBEEM
...He used to date my mama. Til she had to put his ass out for cheating on her!
RAHBEEM
(Twist his face up)
She was all crying and shit...
BEETLE BANGZ
Rahbeem, you stay out of grown folks' business now! I was almost your step daddy, and I could still give you that almost-your-step-daddy ass whoopin'!
Rahbeem laughs as if he were joking, but his jaw is clenched, and he and Beetle Bangz do another dapping handshake and pat on the back.
RAHBEEM
But for real though, Beetle Bangz is a legend on the old block! He made it out of the projects to become a world-famous superhero–and the tightest Old School M.C. this side of New York!
BEETLE BANGZ
New York? Man, you gonna play me like that, Rahbeem? I'm the tightest M.C. worldwide, Baby!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Ah! He's also one of my best teachers and heads the Tora Myst department.
BEETLE BANGZ
That's right! I teach heroics and valiancy for the demon hunters and superhumans.
RAHBEEM
Oh, that's wassup man! Uh, were you about to use the bathroom, though?
BEETLE BANGZ
Oh, no! No! Maaaan listen, my student Buck Kissinger is probably in there. This knucklehead is always sneaking off to do drugs with the wizardry kids.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Umm hmm, they're in there doing magic world drugs. I can smell it from here!
He inhales deeply, smelling the air again.
Rahbeem looks curious and sniffs the air too.
He got nothing but allergens with that sniff. He sneezes.