Chapter 4

Thalia's pov

"Are you sure you used protection?" Shelly asked for about the millionth time as we stopped at a red light, my fingers were tapping rapidly at the dashboard.

"We did, Shelly I'm not stupid of course we did...and I haven't been with anyone else before you ask you know he was my first and only,"

"Yessh, calm down, I already knew that you're not a slut like the rest of us," she said with a sarcastic hiss.

My chest fell.

"Shelly, you know I don't mean it like that.." I tried to touch her shoulder and then she hit the gas, forcing the car into motion.

We were swallowed by this awkward silence for a while then she finally spoke up.

"Are you going to tell him?" She said her voice almost escaping as a whisper.

I folded my hands on my lap, "I don't know,"

"Which means you won't," she said her tone accusatory, "Talia that baby is his as much as it is yours as well you can't just make such a big decision without consulting him he needs to know his options too,"

My fingers clenched into a tight fist.

"What about Crescent University?"

She gave me a side eye look.

"Are you being for real right now? We're talking about a baby growing inside of you and you can't shut up for one second about Crescent University!"

"Shelly I–"

"No, I've been holding back all this time but you're so incredibly selfish!" She came at me speeding up, "all you ever think about is yourself and what you want, first when you started dating Varian and you didn't have a second in the world left for me anymore,"

"But I invited you several times to hang out with us! You are the one always turning us down!" I said I was offending myself with the truth.

"Get real Talia that's why I say you're so self-centered how could I be hanging out with a couple watching you guys being all mushy and gross, I'll just end up third wheeling no matter what,"

I sighed.

"But you never even checked it out yourself, you didn't even try–"

"And now Crescent University, you have a guy who will move mountains for you who loves you more than life itself but you roll your eyes at that and think it's not good enough. This pack is nothing more to you than a backwater place holding you from where you truly deserve to be. You call me your best friend but I knew I'm just a placeholder for the people you think are worth being by your side,"

We fell into another awkward silence, it was like the more I tried to convince Shelly otherwise the more she believed everything I did was selfish and inconsiderate.

Perhaps I was selfish.

But the plans had already been made and I had already said my goodbyes.

This child...it would only complicate things.

"I need a little more time to process this myself, I'm going to tell him in 3 days,"

That was a lie.

I was going to take care of this in 3 days, and whatever mental scars behind it I would bear it.

"Fine, if you don't tell him by that time then I'll do it by myself,"

The way she said it almost sounded like a threat, but I knew Shelly wouldn't do that to me even if she was this angry.

From that today I started taking herbal concoctions that would naturally flush the pregnancy out with little to no effect.

During that time, I avoided Varian like a plague.

A small portion of me felt angry at him, he promised me he had used protection in each entanglement, but he must have made a mistake at some point for the pregnancy to happen.

It was one thing to study through text books and another thing to experience it, honestly it felt so painful.

"Don't worry, it's because it's your first time...you'll ease into it," Varian wasn't clumsy like me, he seemed confident and nothing about the night surprised him.

I guess he was a natural while I wasn't.

Shelly came to see me regularly, each visit she nudged me towards telling him while my insides churned.

3 days passed and the home kit was still telling me that I was pregnant, that was insane. But I consider does it make sense since I was of beta blood and ovarian was an alpha blood naturally any child heard between the two of us would be exceptionally stronger than others.

That was when I did something stupid.

In a fit of desperation I upped my dosage.

Before I knew it I passed out and when I woke up I was in the pack hospital, my mom pacing around in the room and Varian next to me squeezing my hand.

I blinked until I was fully conscious and then my mom fussed over me until she had to leave because of an important meeting given only to me and Varian.

"Talia what happened? How did you end up like this?"

I sighed.

"I think I have been stressing myself lately and–"

"Stress doesn't make blood roll down your thighs,"

My lips stuck together for a second before I found my voice.

"Did that happen?" I said I was determined to feign ignorance.

"Tell me the truth, Talia, are you pregnant?"

I sat up on the bed in a split second.

"Did Shelly tell you?"

His eyes widened.

"So you've already told Shelly? No wonder she wasn't shocked when I told her I suspected it,"

I bit down on my tongue, then released it.

"How did you know?"

He looked away, his eyes unable to meet mine.

Now I was getting aggravated.

"Varian, say something, how did you know I was pregnant?"

"I just guessed," he said, giving a flimsy response.

This was the same guy who couldn't be in the same room as my tampons or hear the word 'period' without physically cringing. There was no way his natural leap of thought would have been pregnancy from what happened to me.

I badgered him before he finally told the truth and his head turned to the ground.

"That night, I think one of the c*ndoms broke,"

Chapter 5

Thalia's pov

"Get out," I said, my voice sharp as a dagger, "did you not hear me just now? I said, "Get out!"

He stood up still not meeting my eyes as his gaze remained on the floor, "I'll come and see you later," he said.

Instead of; "I'm sorry for jeopardizing your future," or "I should have told you earlier,"

Nothing.

He wasn't even planning to explain himself, I should have known.

Varian was the type to shut down at every argument where he was clearly at fault, if he wasn't framing himself as a victim then he wasn't even engaging at all.

"Don't ever show your face in front of me again, you're a despicable Varian. And guess what? I'm still going to Crescent University,"

He slowly raised his eyes, not exactly looking at me but not completely planted on the floor either.

"Are you going to kill our baby?"

His words came like a stab to my heart.

"Just get out! This isn't your body! This isn't your life at risk! Don't stand there and say 'our' when I'm the only one at risk!"

His eyes fell again, this time he didn't say anything and just left.

When he was gone I was ready to tear out every single piece of hair from my head, tears welled in my eyes. I'm sure that the test for my pregnancy will soon be out and my mom came to me.

Her eyes were also filled with tears too.

"Mom, I still want to go to Crescent University I–" My voice broke off as I burst into tears, she held me until the tears subsided.

When I came back home after 2 days at the hospital, it was an unexpected and unpleasant interversion.

Eugene and Alana Bloodmoon were in my living room, their son Varian was also there.

Something twisted inside of me when I saw how disheveled he looked, his skin was pasty, eyes rimmed red and he even looked like he'd lost weight. When I saw how miserable he looked I wanted that if I had gone too far.

But I quickly steeled myself.

"Good morning, Alpha Eugene and Luna Alana," I greeted them and completely ignored Varian. I saw a flash of heart pass his eyes but he said nothing.

Hmpf he seems to be good at that.

"Thalia we are not here today as the Alpha and Luna of blood moon pack, but as the grandparents of your first child,"

A lump formed in my throat.

My mom guided me to a seat as alpha Eugene continued to hit the nail on how reckless I had been.

"Thalia, this baby is more than you, it signifies the future of the pack. It is a firstborn that holds both the alpha and beta blood of bloodmoon. Do you know that?"

I nodded.

I knew that but I had not allowed myself to think of the gravity of my actions, I knew that if I paused for a second too long and ruminated on it I would end up backing away from what had to be done.

"Thalia we are like your uncle and Aunt we're not here to blame you, we understand why you did what you did. But we think we have come to a better compromise...have the pup,"

My heart shifted in my chest and I looked at my mom, she cleared her throat and spoke.

"What about her education? She still wants to become a healer."

The couple looked between themselves and then back to me.

"The pup doesn't have to stop that, have it. We will sponsor your education at any University and take care of the child here in the bloodmoon, that's fair enough right?"

Varian was just sitting like a piece of ornamental vase when he finally spoke up.

"Thalia please don't say no to this, I promise you that I'll be the best father possible to this child,"

The weight of everyone's eyes on me was intense, but eventually I came to a decision nodding in agreement to the new plot of my life.

Varian and I became official mates, at least it was necessary for the time of the pregnancy before it was done so that the child would be recognized as legitimate. I decided that when I went to uni we would try the long distance thing.

But we never had to.

Because I never got to step foot in Crescent University.

My pregnancy was difficult, each day a fresh batch of torture. Luna Alana told me that it was normal for Alpha pregnancies to be like that, Varian tried to keep to his word but because his father was passing over the responsibilities of Alpha to him and in the upcoming months also the title he was not able to be there as often as he wished.

So it was mostly my mother and Shelly I saw supporting me during those months, but whenever Varian had time he came with me for my post natal and such.

In a few months I found out I was having twins, a boy and a girl. Varian nearly went mad with joy while I was anxious at how motherhood would look like for me.

Finally the day came when my water broke, I called the Varian several times but all my calls went straight to voicemail. By the time he finally checked on his phone and rushed over to get me I was already 5 cm dilated. There was no other choice. The midwife had to be called over to my house and 12 hours of screams, tears and sweat broke with the cry of too beautiful babies.

They looked so precious.

The first time I held both of them I knew my dreams of becoming a healer would remain just that.

I couldn't leave my babies without a mother, I knew just how damaging it was to grow up without a parental figure and I never wanted them to experience that trauma.

I thought this would be the beginning of something beautiful, a family I had not expected but now planned to cherish.

That was until five years later, when I was looking through Varian's phone to find pictures of our babies when a text popped up that made my whole world collapse at its foundation.

"Varian, it's been eight years, if you won't tell her about us, then I will."

Chapter 6

Thalia's POV

I did not confront him immediately, even though every instinct in my body was screaming at me to do exactly that but I needed a moment to catch my price to arrange my thoughts and see how I was going to approach it without collapsing the life that we had built with each other for the past 5 years.

Before dropping his phone I made sure to collect pictures of the text so he wouldn't turn it around and deny receiving those messages.

It took me till the next day before the kids woke up before anyone really woke up I shook him from slumber and he thought I was waking him up for some spicy time wrapping his hands around my waist and trying to reach for my lips with his but I placed my palm on his chest pushing him backwards this snapped most of the sleep out of his eyes because I almost never refused his advances in fact I was usually the one who couldn't get myself off of him.

Not that I had a higher libido than him but I noticed that recently he had not been making any advices towards me and my heart could not cope with what that could mean.

"You look so serious and it's barely even dawn, Talia what's going on?" The lines on his face where windhilled with concern and my hands were shaking perhapsy I had misunderstooded the message that's what I was constantly ringing in my head over and over again but there was no way to truly confirm it to stop this nagging voice in my head unless I facing with the evidence and measured how he would react.

So holding my phone away from his reach I showed him what was on the screen, of course with his eyes as an alpha he must have been able to pick up what was there from first class but he continued to stare for a second or two before finally clearing his throat coughing awkwardly.

"Where did you get that text?" He said speaking a little too quickly and I responded.

"Where do you think? I got it from your phone why else would I be showing you this text?"

I saw a singular drop of sweat form in the corner of his head and my heart was already beginning to hit against my ribs wondering what would now become of us then he tried to take the phone from my hand but I got off of the bed a little wobbly at the feet because I was still sleep deprived after spending most of the night by week and wondering if my mate of 5 years I've been cheating on me.

His hand that had the intention to reach for the phone just continue to hang there for a while then he cleared his truth once more I don't know why he needed to do it so close to each other like that before he finally decided to speak clearing the air.

"I don't know who sent me that text," he said, "but if I was going to take a guess it's probably one of my crazy admirers that managed to get a hold of my contact information."

I cocked up an eyebrow.

"Is that really all you have to say to me? You expect me to really believe that? How come you have never spoken about these admirers before going so far?"

He threw his hands up in the air, "that's because I know how insecure you can be and how jealous you get at times I will saving you away from this because I did not want it to affect your mental health but now that you want to bring it up fine let's talk about it..."

He leaped off the bed faster than I could walk away and then before I knew it my back was pressed against the world with both of his arms trapping me in that space unable to move and constantly inhaling his sense normally it was a source of comfort to me but now I feel suffocated like I didn't even have enough space to breath as I should.

"Okay tell me one thing Talia, did you see me respond to this person or any other previous messages between us?" I thought about it and there was none just that single message from an unknown number I shook my head a bit of redness beginning to create into my cheeks and he let out his self-satisfied grunt before continuing, "... And do you think that after everything we have been through together after all the sacrifices that you have made for me birthing our beautiful children and raising them by my side helping me bring the park to the status that it is now I would just turn around and betray you?"

Suddenly the tables had flipped I was the one who was supposed to confront him and push him into a corner and he was the one that had you don't need to me instead both figuratively and literally my head dipped down with shame I couldn't believe that I had accused him of such horrible things without any solid evidence but there was still one thing that bothered me.

"These days you have been very distant with me it feels like I can't connect with you anymore it's almost as if you are avoiding me that's why I thought-"

"I've been busy with pack responsibilities." He said impatiently, "as my luna of all people you should know that, I carry everyone in this park on my shoulders and you get the easy jobs so I'm sure you feel like I have all the time in the world just like you but that's not how it is..."

He backed away there were still an hour or two before the sun would properly be up and about and he picked up his pillow and started heading out.

"Where are you going?" I asked where he was already halfway to the door.

"Somewhere where I can think." He said and left slamming the door behind him.