Chapter 2

Varian's POV

"Men, everybody is talking about you and Thalia..."

My best friend and future beta Kai Graystone, mentioned casually as we were taking laps around the training field my chest immediately became hard we hadn't spoken in a while

Normally Thalia always reached out first and apologize that was how it always was for us no matter how bad our arguments got Thalia was always ready to patch things up between the two of us

I stopped taking a deep, long breath.

What is our last argument?

What is the next time I see her it's with her bags right before she drives over to the airport? The thought alone was enough to make me sweat under the afternoon sun, nervousness creeping up my spine.

"What is everybody saying?" I asked nervously as Kai came back to me, he took a moment or two before speaking.

"Honestly man everyone's wondering if this is the end of an era for the of you,"

I clenched my teeth so hard that the vibrations made my jaw ache, but that pain paled completely in the face of Kai's words.

"Shut up she's coming back she always does," I said with my signature confident smirk, "she can't live without me and she knows it we both do,"

I've always had Thalia wrapped around my finger ever since we were kids. Nothing was changing now or ever.

But she was taking her sweet time with it...if I didn't know any better I would think that.

"Young Alpha varian..." a guard greeted me with a bow arriving at the training field, "young lady Thalia is here to see you,"

My eyes gleamed with smug satisfaction at my friend, "keep running I'll be back to give you the good news,"

She was supposed to make her decision tomorrow but I'm sure she couldn't bear to stay one more day without me.

The guard told me that she was in the kitchen so I rushed there, still sweating and the clothes sticking to my body.

But none of that mattered.

I wanted to see her, hold her...kiss her and...

"Varian, I thought you were at the training field," she said standing next to an open fridge and then closing it.

"My mom asked me to deliver a pie it's our families signature blueberry pie, and before you ask for the millions time I am not giving you the re–"

I didn't allow her to say anything before I slammed my lips on her, claiming her as my own.

Instead of reciprocating my kiss like she always did she shoved me away.

"Varian, you smell like a dirty wet sock!" She said covering her nose dramatically.

I rolled my eyes.

"Stop playing hard to get. I knew you already came here to give me my answer and don't worry. I'm sure that you will forget all about Crescent University in a month. Let's even bet on it..."

"Varian I'm going.."

"Maybe even a week,"

"Varian I'm going!"

"All right, probably a couple of days!"

"Varian!" She screamed at my face, "I came here to tell you that I'm going to accept the scholarship. I'm going to Crescent uni to fulfill my dream of becoming a trained professional healer,"

I searched her face but did not find a spread of humor, it couldn't be.

"This isn't funny Thalia," I said, my voice becoming sharp.

She spread her arms and leaned against the kitchen island.

"Maybe that's because I'm not trying to be funny, variant you're right I can't be your luna and a healer at the same time. There's no way I can ask you to wait for so long. The training takes nearly a decade...by then you would be happily mated with kids, that's your dream..."

I came forward, squeezing her fingers on my own.

"Thalia why are you talking like this, wasn't that always our dream?"

She was still trying to avoid my eyes as if she couldn't manage the guilt from her she was causing.

"I'm really sorry, but I need to see the world I don't want everything to revolve around Bloodmoon...there's so much to explore out there I...I don't want to be trapped in one place,"

My heart was burning from this revelation.

"So all this time you've been playing with my feelings? You always knew you were going to leave?"

"Varian, you knew that too!" She cried out her voice cracking like glass. I hated the pain I saw in her voice and I hated how it made me melt inside but on the surface I remained as hard as steel.

"Varian, I've always told you that I wanted to become a healer...you've known this ever since we were kids!"

"Well..." I thought about what I was going to see next and wonder if I would regret it but said this anyways, "I thought you would eventually get over it I never knew you would be so obsessed with it even till this day,"

The look she gave me suddenly became blank.

"How could you?" Her voice wavered, "you are one of the few people who believed in me. You said I could do anything as long as I put my mind to it...but even if there was going to be one female healer in the world it was going to be me, was my dream just a joke to you all this time?"

The silence was heavy, neither of us could say a word for the longest time until she was about to brush past me so I held her arm.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...this is on my fault for giving you an ultimatum for not truly supporting you, but I want to make everything right if you're going to leave I want you to leave with happy memories,"

She fell into my arms.

"Thank you varian...I'm so glad you understand,"

I didn't understand.

Not one bit.

Your place is here with me Thalia Nightwhisper.

I just have to remind you.

Chapter 3

Thalia's POV

Varian took the news of me leaving much better than I had expected.

... almost a little too well.

But I was glad that he was finally seeing things from my perspective.

Along with Varian other Park members had complex feelings about me living at Crescent uni but at the end of the day they were all super supportive.

As proof of that varian even arranged is send off party with me and all of our close friends came bearing gifts smiles congratulations and encouragement.

"We're going to be texting everyday, you hear me? Should we get matching tattoos or something? That way the other girls will know that you have an amazing, irreplaceable bestie!" Shelly, my best friend and the gamma's daughter said as she embraced me.

"Maybe tattoos might be a little too much Shelly...but I will call them text as much as I can,"

We had been friends ever since we were in diapers.

It was actually a trio with varian, our parents' relationships with each other making ours inevitable.

But after Varian and I naturally blossomed into a couple, I had noticed a distance between us. It was a sudden gap that had not appeared overnight but gradually.

She had confessed not so long ago that she felt like a third wheel with us and I couldn't fault her for that, but I wish we had spent more time together.

Honestly, I wished I didn't have to go.

But as hard as it was right now I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't snatch up this opportunity.

"Can I steal her away from a moment?" Varian said to Shelly after an entire evening of her keeping me attached to the hip.

"No way dummy" Shelly snapped back in a heartbeat, "can't you see what having fun by ourselves?"

"Can't you see that you have been hugging her all to yourself, skunk breath?"

Shelly tugged on my arm that she was holding on to.

"Make a choice, Thalia, your spectacular, amazing best friend or skunk breath?"

Varian scoffed, hands crossed"Like she would pick you–"

"Guys, come on, can you get along tonight, just for my sake? This might be the last time we'll be able to get together like this. Let's make these last moments all fun memories to remember,"

Both of them backpedaled, the air became a bit melancholic as a side effect.

Shelly released me and Varian took me upstairs, stopping at the top of the stairs to put a blindfold on me.

"Ohh, Varian what's all this?" I asked with teasing expectancy.

I could feel his smile against the side of my cheek, "A surprise, don't worry you'll see this in a moment,"

I followed him, heart pounding with each step, mind swirling as my imagination went wild.

"Are you ready?" He asked and I nodded enthusiastically, he pulled off the blindfold.

The velvet fabric fluttered to the ground touching it in time to match my gasp of surprise.

"What is all this?"

The room in front of me looked like a honeymooner's getaway.

Fresh sheets littered with rose petals, scented candles on hold stands and even wine too set out for the two of us, I was still trapped in awe when Varian came from behind.

"Do ..do you like it?"

"Like it?" I spluttered out, in my eighteen years of life I had never seen anything half as romantic and touching, "By goddess! I love it Varian ...thank you," my chest was hit with a pang of guilt, "you didn't have to do this,"

"Why?"

"Well because..."

We had never explicitly said we wouldn't try long distance relationship, but we both knew that wouldn't work out.

Varian was big on physical touch, it was his main love language.

I couldn't bear to imagine him physically craving for me till it hurt, and I would miss him terribly too. Perhaps it worked out for others, but definitely not us.

"It's nothing, thank you..."

He pressed a kiss of the back of my head; "You're welcome,"

And for the next few minutes, we came to an unspoken agreement not to talk about Crescent uni or the fact that I would be gone in the blink of an eye.

We spoke like we had all the time in the world, laughing and all that.

The in a moment the fantasy was shattered.

"Isn't it crazy that I already miss you so much even while you're still here?" he began and I heard the first crack on his voice,

Suddenly I was wrenched with unspeakable volumes of guilt.

"Me too," i admitted.

He shifted closer to me on the bed, putting the wine glass aside, "Then prove it, stay here...for me-no for us. Prove that I mean something to you Thalia, show me that this pack means something to you,"

His eyes bore into mine; "Tell me the truth, did you love me??"

His words pushed me into a corner.

I sighed

My decision had been made.

"I love you, and I always will –"

His face was brightening up but I continued, chest clenched; "...but I love you enough to know that if I forfeit my lifelong dream, I'll become resentful towards you and maybe even our pups too and while it devastates me that we'll never truly be mates," I cupped his cheek, "... There is always going to be a spot in my heart for you and you alone which No other man can take,"

The silence that followed was so loud, then his eyes roamed from mine over to lips.

And in a split second we kissed.

He came first, bearing all his frustration and melting them in the embrace of our kiss. He kept going until he was groping my chest and I was about to stop him when he said; "If we're not going to be together at least let me have this, after all these years this is the least I deserve.

I didn't quite like the way he phrased it, but I thought if anyone had earned my first time it was him.

Three days later my period was late and I was hit with dizzy spell after dizzy spell.

I dialed Shelly, my heart shaking. How would I tell her that days away from my planned departure that I might be pregnant?

Chapter 4

Thalia's pov

"Are you sure you used protection?" Shelly asked for about the millionth time as we stopped at a red light, my fingers were tapping rapidly at the dashboard.

"We did, Shelly I'm not stupid of course we did...and I haven't been with anyone else before you ask you know he was my first and only,"

"Yessh, calm down, I already knew that you're not a slut like the rest of us," she said with a sarcastic hiss.

My chest fell.

"Shelly, you know I don't mean it like that.." I tried to touch her shoulder and then she hit the gas, forcing the car into motion.

We were swallowed by this awkward silence for a while then she finally spoke up.

"Are you going to tell him?" She said her voice almost escaping as a whisper.

I folded my hands on my lap, "I don't know,"

"Which means you won't," she said her tone accusatory, "Talia that baby is his as much as it is yours as well you can't just make such a big decision without consulting him he needs to know his options too,"

My fingers clenched into a tight fist.

"What about Crescent University?"

She gave me a side eye look.

"Are you being for real right now? We're talking about a baby growing inside of you and you can't shut up for one second about Crescent University!"

"Shelly I–"

"No, I've been holding back all this time but you're so incredibly selfish!" She came at me speeding up, "all you ever think about is yourself and what you want, first when you started dating Varian and you didn't have a second in the world left for me anymore,"

"But I invited you several times to hang out with us! You are the one always turning us down!" I said I was offending myself with the truth.

"Get real Talia that's why I say you're so self-centered how could I be hanging out with a couple watching you guys being all mushy and gross, I'll just end up third wheeling no matter what,"

I sighed.

"But you never even checked it out yourself, you didn't even try–"

"And now Crescent University, you have a guy who will move mountains for you who loves you more than life itself but you roll your eyes at that and think it's not good enough. This pack is nothing more to you than a backwater place holding you from where you truly deserve to be. You call me your best friend but I knew I'm just a placeholder for the people you think are worth being by your side,"

We fell into another awkward silence, it was like the more I tried to convince Shelly otherwise the more she believed everything I did was selfish and inconsiderate.

Perhaps I was selfish.

But the plans had already been made and I had already said my goodbyes.

This child...it would only complicate things.

"I need a little more time to process this myself, I'm going to tell him in 3 days,"

That was a lie.

I was going to take care of this in 3 days, and whatever mental scars behind it I would bear it.

"Fine, if you don't tell him by that time then I'll do it by myself,"

The way she said it almost sounded like a threat, but I knew Shelly wouldn't do that to me even if she was this angry.

From that today I started taking herbal concoctions that would naturally flush the pregnancy out with little to no effect.

During that time, I avoided Varian like a plague.

A small portion of me felt angry at him, he promised me he had used protection in each entanglement, but he must have made a mistake at some point for the pregnancy to happen.

It was one thing to study through text books and another thing to experience it, honestly it felt so painful.

"Don't worry, it's because it's your first time...you'll ease into it," Varian wasn't clumsy like me, he seemed confident and nothing about the night surprised him.

I guess he was a natural while I wasn't.

Shelly came to see me regularly, each visit she nudged me towards telling him while my insides churned.

3 days passed and the home kit was still telling me that I was pregnant, that was insane. But I consider does it make sense since I was of beta blood and ovarian was an alpha blood naturally any child heard between the two of us would be exceptionally stronger than others.

That was when I did something stupid.

In a fit of desperation I upped my dosage.

Before I knew it I passed out and when I woke up I was in the pack hospital, my mom pacing around in the room and Varian next to me squeezing my hand.

I blinked until I was fully conscious and then my mom fussed over me until she had to leave because of an important meeting given only to me and Varian.

"Talia what happened? How did you end up like this?"

I sighed.

"I think I have been stressing myself lately and–"

"Stress doesn't make blood roll down your thighs,"

My lips stuck together for a second before I found my voice.

"Did that happen?" I said I was determined to feign ignorance.

"Tell me the truth, Talia, are you pregnant?"

I sat up on the bed in a split second.

"Did Shelly tell you?"

His eyes widened.

"So you've already told Shelly? No wonder she wasn't shocked when I told her I suspected it,"

I bit down on my tongue, then released it.

"How did you know?"

He looked away, his eyes unable to meet mine.

Now I was getting aggravated.

"Varian, say something, how did you know I was pregnant?"

"I just guessed," he said, giving a flimsy response.

This was the same guy who couldn't be in the same room as my tampons or hear the word 'period' without physically cringing. There was no way his natural leap of thought would have been pregnancy from what happened to me.

I badgered him before he finally told the truth and his head turned to the ground.

"That night, I think one of the c*ndoms broke,"