3: 3

That night, it took everything I had not to break.

I pushed Austin away.

I picked up my phone and accepted the interview offer I'd been putting off for so long.

It was recommended-admission season, and I'd spent all this time weighing which school to choose.

Ashford, with the best career prospects for me, was all the way out in New York, and Austin worked at his family's company here. Choosing it meant three years apart.

Carlton, right here in Los Angeles, was a good school too, but it didn't come close to Ashford.

The old me would have compromised for Austin. I used to think a small concession here and there was nothing next to him.

But now I had no reason left to stay.

My whole life, I'd been waiting for a share of favoritism that was supposed to be mine.

I thought if I were good enough, my parents would finally see me. They never did. They'd always rather pour it all into Vivian, who couldn't hold a candle to me.

And now Austin had shown me the same truth.

The only thing I could truly hold onto was my own future. I shouldn't have hung all my hopes for something beautiful on a shadow that was never really there.

When my friends heard my decision, they were happy for me.

They asked what had changed my mind, and I told them why, laying out everything I'd learned from that secret account, exactly as it was.

At first they couldn't believe it. Then they were furious on my behalf.

Really, who could have imagined that a boyfriend who acted like he loved me so deeply had, underneath it all, been doing everything for someone else?

I couldn't have imagined it, and neither could they, so I didn't want to think about it anymore.

I didn't want to keep pinning my emotions on someone who wasn't worth it. I'd done enough of that already.

First I waited for my parents' favor, then for Austin's. Now I only wanted to think about myself.

I spent the next several days buried in the admission paperwork. The day my provisional acceptance from Ashford came through, Austin called.

"I'm eating out tonight, so I won't be coming home."

I used to believe Austin without question.

He'd say he was overseas closing a deal, or away on business, and even when he missed my birthday, missed Valentine's Day, I believed him, again and again.

Only now did I see how foolish that thinking had been.

I opened Vivian's secret account. She'd posted a new update: "Back in the country."

Austin had gone to see her. He'd forgotten today was the day my acceptance results came out. He hadn't asked a single word about it.

He'd long grown used to me revolving around him, treating him like my whole world. It had never once occurred to him that I might choose to leave.

When I got to Austin's place, I found a bouquet of tulips on the table, the kind Vivian liked, and beside it, the desserts she loved.

I don't like flowers, and I rarely eat sweets.

I gathered up everything of mine from all those years in his home, and just as I was about to leave, I ran into Austin and Vivian.

4: 4

When Austin saw me, he looked a little caught off guard.

I looked at the two of them and said nothing.

In the end, it was Vivian who broke the quiet.

"Sis, what are you doing here?" She wasn't the least bit puzzled by my presence, but she asked anyway, all wide-eyed innocence.

"Oh, right, I forgot to mention it to you. I came back home to rest for a while. Austin's a friend of mine. We're just catching up this trip."

"You two are...? I forgot you were dating. He never told me either. I only heard it from another friend." Vivian smiled again.

The way she told it, I was the girlfriend he'd kept out of sight for three years, and she was the "friend" he'd rushed off to see the moment she was back in the country.

When Vivian said they were just friends, Austin's arm was draped loosely around her, and he gave her waist a pinch, drawing a little startled squeal out of her.

I ignored whatever was passing between them.

Austin noticed the suitcase in my hand and frowned. "What's this about?"

"Nothing. Just grabbing a few of my everyday clothes. I'm heading back now."

"All right. Travel safe." His tone was flat.

He didn't ask me to stay. He didn't offer to see me off. And he didn't explain a single thing about what was going on between them.

Back at school, there wasn't one message from him on my phone.

Scrolling before bed, I opened Vivian's secret account again out of habit.

She'd posted something new.

"Today he said in front of my sister that we're just friends, and he was so unhappy about it. This man is such a handful."

Vivian had attached a photo. There were several clear kiss marks on her neck and collarbone.

Austin had commented: "You really don't know why I'm unhappy? You of all people know exactly how I feel about you."

Nausea rolled through me. Three years of us, and to the two of them it had turned into nothing more than a prop for their flirting.

At least I didn't care anymore. Letting him go was simpler than I'd imagined.

I got in touch with my advisor at Ashford University and joined the lab early.

Early the next morning, I boarded the plane with my suitcase. Before takeoff, I sent Austin one message.

"Let's break up."