I took a stack of papers from my bag and handed it to her. "Would you like to look at it again?"

Jasmine ignored the papers, her irritation mounting. She had not expected me to push back.

"That was yesterday! Things have changed since then, okay? So can you stop being a smartass and do what you're supposed to do already?"

I nodded. "Alright. You've got a point."

Her eyes softened, a trace of smugness settling in.

I took out my phone and called the priest.

"Hello? Mrs. Whitaker?" the man answered.

"Good day, Father Matthew. Sorry to bother you," I said politely. "My mother-in-law mentioned there were changes to be made for Mr. Shawn Whitaker, my grandfather-in-law. She said you wanted them amended and hoped to discuss them with me. Is that correct?"

Silence ensued.

Jasmine's face flushed bright pink.

"Uh, I don't believe there's anything significant pending amendment, ma'am. There's no need to trouble yourself," he replied at last.

That was a roundabout way of asking what I was talking about.

[Wait, when did she grow a brain?]

[She's supposed to be a low-IQ bimbo, chat. Vincent married her for that! How else is he going to take control of her family business?]

[Guys, relax. He'll take all her assets, kick that dumb bitch to the curb, and live happily ever after with Best Girl Stephie. This is just a red herring.]

I glared at the live chat.

So that was the ending written for me? Not a chance.

"What is your problem, Aya? Did you really need to act like a Pulitzer Prize reporter and verify every detail? What's the point here? To humiliate my mom, who's old enough to get confused?" Jasmine snapped. "Just check with her and confirm everything, for God's sake. It's not a big ask."

"I'm taking this seriously because it's our grandfather's funeral, Jazzy. People are coming from near and far to pay their last respects to a life well lived. We should be careful and precise," I replied evenly. "I also don't think it's right to leave a gap in the coffin when it should already be sealed. This is exactly the kind of mistake we avoid by taking things seriously."

Jasmine froze. Nearby, relatives and visitors began to murmur.

"Wait, they didn't close the lid properly? Why is there a gap?"

"That's a serious oversight. I doubt Mr. Whitaker's soul would be pleased…"

Jasmine had always been thin-skinned. She would never risk tarnishing her pristine image, and I was counting on that.

From where I stood, I could see the coffin shifting slightly and smiled. Now that was devotion carried to the grave. Their passion must be intense enough to leave them breathless.

Vincent and Stephanie were likely drenched in sweat and gasping for air by now. Even the live chat grew anxious.

[Oh God, oh God, oh God!]

[My Best Girl is dying, you bitch!]

[Do something, Jazzy! Please!]

Just as it seemed we had reached a stalemate, Jasmine's eyes lit up. "Aunt Kimmy!"

Kim approached with a bowl of soup. "There you are, sweetie. I've been looking everywhere for you. You've helped so much with the funeral. You must be hungry. Here, I made this for you. Take a break in the lounge. I'll handle things here."

[Vincent texted her for help! She's here to save him!]

[Drink it! Drink it and get drugged! I need my Best Girl out of there!]

I pushed the bowl away. "I can't accept this, Aunt Kimmy."

Kim's jaw tightened as she raised her voice. "Are you really going to reject my kindness in front of everyone? Or are you trying to embarrass the whole family?"

[Stop throwing a fit, Aya! No one cares! My girl is dying in there!]

[She just needs one sip. It takes less than three minutes for the drug to work! Then our best couple can be free!]

[Aunt Kimmy's going all out for her cheating nephew, huh?]

Kim pressed the bowl toward my lips.

I raised my hand and knocked it aside, sending the contents spilling over my thighs. I let out a startled cry as the bowl slipped from my grasp and shattered on the floor.

"Oh no… Why am I always so clumsy?" I said, forcing an apologetic tone. "The soup was too hot, and my hand slipped. I'm sorry."

Kim grabbed my shoulder and yelled, "This won't do! You can't be unpresentable at your grandfather-in-law's funeral! Change into new clothes right now!"

She tried to drag me toward the door.

The live chat cheered.

[She's the GOAT!!! Getting changed will take at least five minutes!]

[They just need one minute, bro. Just a small crack in the coffin so they can breathe!]

[Get out of there already, you annoying side character. My best girl needs fresh air!]

[Poor Stephie's already crying. She wanted to get out so badly, but Vincent isn't letting her. He's holding her hands down!]

Jasmine seized the opportunity. She grabbed my other arm and said, "I'll go with you, Aya!"

They tried to haul me out of the hall.

A sound came from the coffin.

Kim went pale.

"Let's not dawdle, Aya!" she said loudly, trying to cover the noise. Her eyes twitched as she shot several glances at the coffin. She was counting down the seconds until we were gone.

I did not resist. I let them drag me toward the door. Just before stepping out, I pretended to collapse to the side.

I rubbed my temples and said weakly, "Oh no… Aunt Kimmy, Jazzy… My head's spinning. I feel sick. I can't stand… Could you get the clothes for me instead? I can change here. Maybe in that corner."

I pointed to an area near the coffin. It was far too exposed for anyone to change without being seen.

Kim's expression darkened. Jasmine froze.

The live chat turned vicious.

[That fucking bitch!]

[Just jump out of the coffin and divorce her right now! Sue her until she has nothing left!]

[He can't, you dumbass. He needs to secure her family's business first!]

[I would've dropped this story ages ago if I didn't know she's going to crash and burn!]

I looked up at Kim with an innocent expression. "I don't have the strength to make it to the changing room. I can't even sit straight. I think there's a chair behind the casket. Could you ask someone to move it and bring it to me?"

"No!" she shrieked, her voice cracking. She quickly forced it under control and added with a stiff smile, "I don't want to disturb my father's rest."

She glanced at my soaked slacks, then at the coffin, and clenched her teeth. "You'll have to make do like this."

A loud thud came from inside the coffin.

The visitors went pale and stared.

Kim grimaced. "It's a rat. This hall hasn't been used in ages. There's probably an infestation. One must have burrowed into the coffin…"

[It's Stephanie! She can't hold it in anymore!]

[Vincent's not doing great either!]

"Really?" I asked innocently. "How big would a rat have to be to make a sound like that?"

[Oh my God! Vincent's giving her CPR now!]

[What kind of plot is this? I'm actually kind of excited!]

[I can't wait to see her face when she realizes her best friend and husband are inside!]

A few seconds later, another voice cut in, "What is going on here?"

[It's the mother-in-law! She's here to save her son!]

"Dulce, I brought your daughter-in-law soup to thank her for her hard work. Do you know what she did? She deliberately knocked it over, dirtied her pants, and then clung to the coffin in front of everyone. It looked like she was trying to make us seem like we treat her as a slave!"

Dulce barked from outside the door, "Someone take Aya to the lounge! She's exhausted herself and is now delirious!"

Two of Jazzy's distant aunts exchanged uncertain looks.

"Why are you forcing me out of the hall, Mom?" I shouted.

"Why are you so eager to call me delirious?" I pointed at the coffin. "Could it be that something else is hidden inside? Someone other than Grandpa?"

A long beat of silence followed before whispers rippled through the crowd.

Dulce's glare hardened. She stepped forward and struck my cheek.

The force snapped my head to the side. The taste of metal filled my mouth.

The live chat erupted.

[That was good! Deserved!]

[She should have gotten her ego checked way sooner than this!]

[Who the hell did she think she was?]

A sharp gasp swept through the crowd as Dulce shrieked, "I've had it with you, Aya! You've been a thorn in my side for years! It's been five goddamn years, and you've never shown a single positive pregnancy test!

"Our illustrious family will end with Vincent's generation because you can't even conceive a child! What's the point of a wife?! So stop pretending to care about your elders. It's sickening! Do you think your grandfather-in-law is weeping in joy over your half-baked performance?"

I touched the cut on my lip with my tongue and smiled. "On that topic, do you know what the doctor said when I went in for that fertility report? He told me I'm not the problem. Your son Is. Vincent suffers from necrospermia. He is infertile."

The live chat fell silent for a beat.

[He what now?!]

[But she's pregnant! Isn't Stephie pregnant?! Who's the father?!]

So Vincent did not know what was in his report. He must have believed the baby was his, and Stephanie was counting on that.

Oh my God. Now I understood why these commenters were shipping them. They deserved each other.

Kim cut in, "Bullshit!"

"Me? Are you sure?" I raised my voice. "Want more cold, hard truth, Kimmy? Vincent is completely infertile, and you're a shitty aunt who's covering for him while he screws Stephanie Greer in the coffin where Grandpa rests. You and your entire family are full of shit!"

Dulce screamed, "You rabid madwoman! Take it back! Take it back right now, you bitch! My son would never do something like that! He is incapable of anything so disgusting! He's nothing like you. He doesn't make things up and announce them to everyone in attendance! And he certainly doesn't defile his elder's funeral the way you do!"

She grabbed my hair, dragged me toward the coffin, and shrieked, "Kneel! Bend your knees right now, you foul-mouthed lunatic! Beg your grandfather-in-law for forgiveness!"

My other in-laws surged forward. One of Vincent's many aunts cried out, "You must have planned to sow chaos at our sacred event today, didn't you? How could you? He treated you like his own granddaughter, and you repaid him by defaming his true grandson!"

"I know, right?" Aunt Camille added indignantly. "We watched Vincent grow up. We practically raised him in spirit! He has always been a paragon of respect and propriety! You're projecting!"

The live chat spiraled into chaos.

[I knew no one would believe her. Who the fuck would?! Dumb bitch deserves this!]

[How does it feel to be the most hated woman in the room?]

[Am I the only one genuinely worried for Vincent and Stephie? I think their gasps are already weakening…]

Jasmine had already broken into tears. She collapsed against the coffin, resting her head and arms on it as she sobbed.

When no one was looking, she tried to pry it open just a little. "What did I do to offend you, Aya? Why take it out on my brother? And Stephie is just a friend who came to pay her respects! How could you, Aya? How ugly is your heart?!"

The crowd's attention cut into me like blades. Some sighed and shook their heads. Others hurled insults.

It gave Dulce exactly what she needed to grow bolder. "Now beg for forgiveness. Do it properly for once while the Whitaker family is watching, or else…"

I scoffed. "Oh yeah? I'll do your flapping mouth one better. I'll prove it."

I lunged for the coffin.

[WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF! They are naked in there!]

[If she opens it… oh God. Stephie's life is ruined. The man too!]

I yanked the lid off.