: Zhao Di

My parents never smiled at me, not once since the day I was born.

They named me Rhoda.

After my younger brother was born, they still wouldn't smile at me.

Instead, they'd say, "This girl is a money pit. What's the point of her grades being so good!"

The only time they ever smiled at me was after my college entrance exams, when they planned to sell me off as a wife.

A Fortune Teller told them, "This girl has an auspicious glow. She'll bring her husband great fortune after they marry!"

They thought they could finally sell me for a good price.

1

The day I was born, my father rushed back from his construction site.

When he heard the nurse's gentle words, "Congratulations, it's a girl," my father instantly deflated.

I heard I was left at the hospital for three days. If a nurse hadn't come banging on our door, they would have just abandoned me there.

My mother wasn't in good health. She had to take countless folk remedies just to get pregnant with me.

My grandfather died young. On his deathbed, he clutched my father's hand and pleaded.

"The Valerius family line has been carried by a single son for three generations. You and your wife must have a boy child."

My birth probably meant that my grandfather couldn't rest in peace.

They rarely paid any attention to me. Growing up, I was seldom able to eat my fill.

In their own words:

"A girl is just a money pit. It's a waste of our food to raise a wife for another family!"

When I was six years old, they punched and kicked me for stealing a piece of candy they had bought for my cousin.

My aunt just watched with cold eyes, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Such a greedy girl."

After making her remark, she stuffed a whole handful of candy into my cousin's hand.

From that moment on, I understood: my parents didn't want me, and neither did any of my relatives.

For as long as I can remember, I could smell the thick scent of herbal medicine on my mother.

I heard from relatives that my parents hadn't given up hope. They still wanted another child, saying they absolutely could not let the Valerius family line end.

My name is Rhoda. There's no other meaning to it. It was given to me simply because they wanted a son, so what should have been a lifelong blessing was instead carelessly turned into an expression of their own hopes.

I thought, 'Maybe once I have a younger brother, everything will get better.'

And so, I began to look forward to the arrival of that new little life along with them.

2

After starting elementary school, I saw how other parents smiled as they held up their children's perfect test papers. I thought my own parents would be just as happy to see my good grades.

So I threw myself into my studies. I eagerly answered questions in class and worked tirelessly on my assignments after school.

When I showed my mother my final report card with perfect scores, she just gave it a cold glance.

"'What's the use of a girl studying so hard?'"

"'I thought... you'd be happy...'"

'My mother's indifferent expression was so hurtful. I knew she didn't like me, but her apathy still pierced my heart like a thorn.'

"'What is there to be happy about? With all that time you spend studying, you could be helping me with chores. Just look at the floors! They're filthy!'"

With that, she turned her back on me, grabbed a broom, and started sweeping.

'I just so desperately wanted to see my mother smile. I just wanted her approval.'

So I put down my schoolbag and took the broom from my mother's hands.

"'Mom, let me help you. I can do anything.'"

And so, gradually, it was sweeping, washing dishes, cooking, feeding the cow... I took on most of the household chores.

It was truly exhausting, but my hard work paid off. I finally started to see my mother smile.

"'Look at her. This girl is pretty quick with her chores.'"

For once, my father's expression wasn't cold.

He looked at how neat and tidy the house was, and nodded.

"'This girl wasn't a complete waste, after all.'"

'If his next words had been praise, I think I would have been so happy I could fly.'

But in the next moment, my father's gaze shifted to my mother's stomach.

"'It's been this long... still nothing?'"

'So his gaze had rested on me for less than a second before it returned to my brother—a brother who didn't even exist yet.'

3

Staring at my mother's flat stomach, I cried in a corner where no one noticed.

It was an ugly cry, but thankfully, no one was paying attention.

I should never have been born. My very gender was a mistake.

I was in a slump for a while. I started spacing out in class and messing with my classmates after the bell.

It wasn't for any particular reason, except that I saw how the bad kids got their parents called in when they caused trouble. I wanted my parents to get called in, too.

It was fine not to be loved. Just a little attention would be enough.

"Look at her. She's just an unwanted stray. Her parents don't even care about her!"

"Haha! Uncared for and unloved!"

One day, as I was napping on my desk, I heard mocking laughter from nearby.

I looked toward the voice. It was the class's notorious troublemaker, and the one he was mocking was me.

It all started because of the parent-teacher conference on Sunday. No one from my family showed up, so he started calling me an unwanted stray. I wanted to argue back—I have parents! I'm not an unwanted stray.

But... he wasn't wrong. It was true. No one looked after me.

I thought if I just ignored him, he'd say his piece and move on. I never expected him to come and bother me again today.

"Will you just give it a rest?! You've got nothing better to do, is that it?!"

I shot him a vicious glare, hoping it would shut him up.

But who was he? He was the biggest asshole in our class. Seeing me get angry only egged him on.

"Ooh, getting all bent out of shape over a few words? Figures. You're just an unwanted stray with no manners!"

"Say that again, I dare you!"

I was the one my parents ignored. It was fine as long as only I knew it. I couldn't stand to hear anyone else say it.

It was like a thorn in my heart. I was willing to endure the pain, no matter how deep it went, as long as I could do it in silence.

Having the deepest wound in my heart exposed like this would drive me mad.

I grabbed him by the collar. 'If he says one more word, I'm punching him in the face.'

"Rhoda Valerius, what's with the tough act? My parents told me all about you. They know all about your name and how your parents just wanted a son. Nobody at your home gives a damn whether you live or die."

"You...!"

I couldn't take it anymore. With all my might, I slammed my fist into his face.

The truth is, I regretted it the moment I hit him.

I'd unleashed all my pent-up bitterness on him like some vengeful ghost. But he was just the trigger. The real culprits were somewhere else entirely.

"You... you unwanted stray! You hit me! I'm my family's precious treasure! My parents won't let you get away with this!"