Part of me wants to be selfish and demand that she undergo treatment to have more time together, but I keep my thoughts to myself, cherishing every moment I spend with her.
"I know, but her dog destroyed part of the project, and she needs help," I fib, feeling the pang of guilt tugging at my heart. I don't like lying to my parents, but I fear their rejection once they discover my true identity as a supposed "freak" or an existence that shouldn't be.
With a sigh, my mom reluctantly gives in, as she always does when it comes to my independence. She doesn't want to hold me back, recognizing that I can take care of myself.
"Just don't stay out too long, okay, dear?" she cautions.
"Yes, Mom. I love you," I reply, giving her a kiss and a hug. It has become a ritual for me to do so every time I leave the house, uncertain if she'll still be there, okay, and alive when I return.
...
I drive quickly, eager to return home before it gets too late. Parking in a secluded area, I ensure no one is around before stripping off my clothes and focusing on embracing my wolf form. I call for her, visualizing the image I saw in the mirror. My heart races as my bones crack and my body trembles, once again standing on all fours as my wolf.
A surge of adrenaline and excitement courses through me, and I happily bark and leap around, in tune with my wolf's emotions. I feel guilty for ignoring her existence for four long years. She was hidden from me, and now I finally embrace her.
Bursting with joy, I let out a loud howl without expecting a response. To my surprise, I hear another howl in return. My heart pounds erratically, and instinctively, I run towards the source of the sound. I howl again, receiving another howl in response. This exchange continues until I spot another figure in the darkness.
Uncertain of what to do, my ears lower, tail tense as I cautiously approach the unknown wolf, who is smaller than me. When we get close enough, the wolf playfully barks at me, and I respond in kind. We begin chasing each other, playfully teasing, barking, and howling. It's the most fun I've ever had, feeling like a pup all over again.
Time slips away as we continue this game, but suddenly, another wolf howls, and the one with me howls back, indicating it's time for her to return home. I take this cue to head back to my car, which takes longer than expected, making me nervous as I promised my mom I wouldn't be too late.
Upon my return, my parents are on the couch watching an old telenovela. My mom looks at me with concern, but I reassure her with a watery kiss on her forehead, which she playfully complains about, leading to laughter between my dad and me. I take my pre-heated food to my room and eat while gazing at my poster wall, displaying a photo of the wild taiga forest in northern Russia—a place I'm fascinated with. I imagine the untamed beauty, flora, and animals, dreaming of photographing them. It's my desire to visit someday.
Although my parents have offered to fund the trip, the thought of leaving them behind unsettles me. Having already lost one family, I'm determined not to lose another. Besides, they wouldn't be able to keep up with my pace in the wild, so I've been saving money for the day I muster the courage to go. After all, I'm only sixteen, and I want to be done with school before embarking on any big adventures.
As the night goes on, my eyes grow heavy, and I prepare for bed. Before drifting off to sleep, I express gratitude for my parents and my newfound discovery.
Seven years had passed, and I felt utterly numb. Tears had left my eyes irritated, and the weight on my chest felt like an elephant sitting on it. My wolf inside me howled in pain, reflecting the agony in my heart. I couldn't bear to leave the cemetery, where my deceased father lay at rest. The pain was overwhelming.
My mother had passed away three years earlier from cancer, but at least her passing had been painless. I was grateful she didn't have to suffer. With her gone, my father became my anchor, and together, we coped with the loss. Taking care of him and the house helped keep me occupied. I had been working since the age of fifteen to support the family who took me in when I had no one else. They didn't need the extra money, but I couldn't stand idly by, knowing the sacrifices they made for me.
My father had been my best friend. We shared a love for books, discussing them after I finished reading. But now, he was gone, and the pain of being alone was unbearable. With no children of their own, only a few friends attended his funeral, most of them no longer alive themselves.
I had deliberately avoided close friendships because I couldn't bear the pain of loss, especially after my mother's death. But now, with both my parents gone, I felt utterly lost.
Yesterday, the lawyer read my parents' will. They left everything to me— the house, their belongings, and a substantial amount of money they had carefully saved over sixty years. But despite this wealth, my mind was elsewhere, still longing for my father's presence.
Deciding to keep the house as a remnant of my parents, I chose to rent it to an organization dedicated to rescuing trafficked girls, providing them safety until they could find a secure home. The condition was that they kept the house intact, and I allowed them to keep most of the furniture except for the items with sentimental value, which I stored away.
Feeling suffocated, I knew I had to leave and breathe, allowing my wolf to run free. Once I settled the affairs related to the house and my parents' belongings, I planned to pursue my dream destination: Russia. As much as I disliked the idea of leaving my parents' graves alone, they had each other, and I believed they would understand.
Whispering "I love you, mom and dad" to their resting places side by side, I still couldn't grasp the reality that they were gone forever. We had shared just eleven precious years together, which had passed like a blur. Now, I longed to go back in time and savor those moments a little longer. Eleven years were too short when it came to the people you loved.
Although I yearned to find my biological parents, fear of a blood test revealing my non-human nature held me back. Still, I knew I would figure it out eventually. For now, it was time to focus on myself and discover who I truly was, now that I had no one else to lean on.
...
Moving on is an arduous process, regardless of the circumstances. My connection with my adoptive parents ran deep. They not only saved my life but also became the first people I formed memories with after the incident. Now that they were gone forever, it left me shattered.
Detaching myself from their memory took weeks. The thought of parting with their belongings, their essence, threatened to tear me apart. But I knew they would forever hold a place in my heart. My adoptive parents would never be forgotten.
Leaving for an uncertain period brought some comfort knowing they would be there when I returned. Just before boarding the plane, I gazed at the stars, feeling their presence watching over me. Somehow, I knew they were proud that I was embarking on my first independent journey.
As I handed my ticket to the woman at the gate, she directed me to my business-class seat. I wanted to be comfortable during the long flight, fearing a panic attack in the cramped economy section. Strangers made me anxious, and the thought of sitting beside one for hours stressed me out. So, I indulged myself with this treat.
Stowing my bag under the seat, I settled by the window, still in disbelief that I was going to Russia. The idea seemed crazy, considering I was always the odd girl at school who stuck close to her parents, who others often mistook for grandparents. I had skipped camping trips, fearing something might happen to my mom while I was away, leaving me disconnected from my classmates.
While they laughed at me, I never bothered to explain the real reasons behind my behavior. Those classmates were just nameless faces, and their opinions meant nothing to me. However, I sometimes regretted not becoming more independent while my parents were still alive, unprepared for the life that awaited me once they were gone.
Thankfully, my parents had equipped me with essential skills like cooking, cleaning, and sewing. My dad even taught me car repair and wilderness survival. Although I could fend for myself, it didn't lessen the void they left behind.
With my eyes closed, the plane accelerated, and I thanked my parents silently for the life they provided and the woman I had become. Embarking on my own adventure filled me with both excitement and fear, wondering what experiences awaited me.
Who would've thought Russia could be so damn cold! I mean, I've seen snow before, but this is insane! Thankfully, as a werewolf, the cold doesn't bother me much, but I need to act like a regular human without any superpowers.
On my way to the Airbnb, my wolf inside me is restless. All these years of longing have led me to this moment – the big forest I've always dreamed of. Once I change into more suitable clothes and drop off my belongings at the apartment, I order another Uber to drop me a few blocks away from the forest. I don't want the driver to think I'm crazy by asking him to take me to the forest's edge. After all, who in their right mind would venture into the forest, alone, in the middle of winter, in an unfamiliar town? But I trust and rely on my wolf instincts.
When the Uber stops, I thank the driver and try to contain my excitement. I walk briskly towards the forest, and once I'm in front of it, I'm in awe of the majestic trees. I can't believe I finally made it here after years of dreaming about this place.
Suppressing my yelp of excitement, I make sure no one is watching before I step into the forest, taking in the magical scenery blanketed in snow. The sounds of various animals inhabiting the forest make my heart flutter. There's something strangely familiar about this place. As I take a deep breath, something stirs inside me, and my wolf becomes restless. Perhaps it's because we're finally in the place we've always longed to visit, but there's an odd feeling I can't quite pinpoint.
I strip off my clothes and stash them in a bag hidden in a bush. Swiftly, I shift into my wolf form and can't contain myself any longer. I raise my head and howl to the sky, then start running through the forest with pure joy.
I bark and yelp in excitement, playfully bumping into trees and bushes, reveling in the freedom I feel. In a clearing, I fall onto my back, shaking and rolling from side to side, savoring the sensation of the snow against my fur. I howl, my initial joy turning into a bittersweet melody of longing and loneliness.
I'm all alone in this vast forest. Wolves thrive in packs, but I have no one else like me. The feeling of isolation weighs heavily on me, and I ache for my lost family and friends from the incident that robbed me of my memories. I yearn for warmth and familiarity, but I'm left alone in this world, and it cuts deep.
Suddenly, I hear howls – multiple howls joining my own. My heart races as I run towards the sound. Could they be like me? Other werewolves? Will they be friendly, or will they see me as a threat?
I howl desperately, seeking an answer, and I receive plenty in response. My mind is in a daze, excitement and fear battling within me. I've only encountered one other werewolf before, during my first transformative run. But now there are more, and I crave their acceptance and companionship, as I have no family left.
In my haze, I fail to notice a few feet away a bear feeding on a dead deer. My realization dawns only when I accidentally bump into it.
I back up immediately, trying to make myself look smaller as the bear turns and growls at me.
Oh, shit.
Was I about to become a bear's meal just before meeting others like me? The fear and desperation to cry overwhelmed me. I whimper and try to back away from the bear, but it stands on its hind legs, ready to attack. I close my eyes, unable to face it, when suddenly, I hear more growls and barks. Wolves, the sounds of wolves!
As I open my eyes, I see different-colored, huge wolves standing in front of me, protecting me. Their barking and growling drive the bear away, and they turn to me with curiosity rather than hostility.
Approaching me, one of the wolves sniffs the air and then sniffs me, tilting his head curiously. I stand tall, barking at him to show I mean no harm. He barks back and motions for me to follow him. Feeling accepted, I walk behind him, and the other wolves surround me, forming a protective circle.
We walk for a while until the forest opens up into an unexpected town that wasn't on any map I'd seen before. My fascination with maps and my knowledge of Russia didn't account for this place. In front of us stands a large mansion-like house made of ancient-looking stones.
The wolves suddenly begin shifting into their human forms, leaving me feeling shy and embarrassed. A woman greets me kindly, covering me with a blanket, and urges me to shift so I can meet the alpha.
Once I'm covered, I shift back into my human form, and the men surrounding me are now clothed in jeans and simple shirts, studying me with curiosity. I realize that it's rare to find a lone wolf.
Just as I wonder what's happening, I meet the gaze of an old man whose eyes are locked onto mine. He seems shocked, and he sniffs the air as if trying to confirm something. Before I can react, he embraces me tightly, lifting me from the floor.
Confused and overwhelmed, I try to speak, but he pulls away slightly, and another woman comes running towards me, embracing me as well, calling me "baby" and "home."
Feeling breathless, I pull away from their embrace, not understanding why they are showing such affection. Besides my adoptive parents, no one has shown me empathy before. I ask who they are and how they know me, and their response leaves me stunned.
They claim to be my parents, but I can't comprehend it. Their faces are somewhat familiar, but I've never been to Russia before. My confusion and doubts irritate them, and I scream in pain as my brain throbs and memories start flooding in.
The realization hits me – they are indeed my parents, and I remember them now. Memories come back in a painful rush, putting names to the faces that were triggering my brain to remember.
Before succumbing to the darkness, I can hear their concerned voices, and I finally accept my true identity and the family I've found.
