I wake to the sound of nothing. The silence in the Blood Moon pack house is a living thing, pressing against my skin like a physical weight. Five years of this suffocating quiet have taught me to move like a ghost through my own home, my bare feet finding the path across the cold hardwood floor without making a sound.
I glance at the clock—6:30 AM. Nicolas will be downstairs in the training room by now. My stomach tightens at the thought of him, my mate, the man I saved and the man who now lives in terror of the sound of my voice.
In the bathroom, I perform my morning ritual in complete silence. No humming, no water running unnecessarily, no clinking of bottles. My hands move through the motions with practiced precision, applying the special scent-neutralizing lotion Simone insists will keep my natural fragrance from triggering Nicolas's episodes. The irony isn't lost on me—I'm suppressing every part of myself to keep him sane.
A young Omega named Lily enters with my clothes, her eyes downcast as she places them on the vanity. I offer her a small smile, but it's met with fear. She hands me a note: "Luna, the Alpha has requested you join him for breakfast. He says it's important."
My heart skips. Breakfast together is rare, a treat I cherish despite the tension that always hangs between us. I nod my thanks, and Lily scurries away, relieved to escape my presence.
Downstairs, I navigate the creaky floorboards like a minefield, my steps careful and measured. A cough builds in my throat, and I swallow it down hard, tasting blood. The pain is worth avoiding the sound that could send my mate into a frenzy.
As I approach the dining room, I spot Simone leaving with her medical bag. She pauses when she sees me, her perfect smile never reaching her eyes.
"Good morning, Luna," she says, her voice pitched low and soothing—the only voice Nicolas can tolerate. "I've just checked on the Alpha. He's doing well today. Isn't that wonderful?"
I nod, not trusting my hands to sign accurately enough to respond. Simone's presence makes my skin crawl, but I can't show it. Not when she holds so much power over my mate's condition.
Left alone, I slip into the bathroom one last time before breakfast. My hands tremble slightly as I pull a pregnancy test from beneath the loose floorboard where I've hidden it. After five years of trying, of hoping, could this finally be the answer?
I follow the instructions, my heart pounding as I wait those agonizing minutes. When I look down, two pink lines stare back at me.
Positive.
The heir. Our heir.
Joy—pure, unbridled joy—surges through me like wildfire. This could fix everything. A baby might heal the broken bond between us. I could be a proper Luna, a mother to the future Alpha.
Without thinking, I let out a squeal of delight, the sound piercing and high-pitched. For one glorious moment, I forget everything—the silence, the rules, the fear. I am simply a woman celebrating the miracle growing inside her.
The sound echoes through the hallway, bouncing off the walls like a living thing. I freeze, horror dawning as I realize what I've done.
From downstairs comes a crash, followed by a low, animalistic growl. My blood turns to ice.
Nicolas.
His footsteps thunder up the stairs, each one a death knell to my heart. The bathroom door flies open with such force that it splinters against the wall. My mate stands there, but the man I love is gone. His eyes are pitch black, his face contorted in rage, his body trembling with barely contained violence.
"No," I breathe, the word barely audible as I step backward, my hand instinctively moving to protect my stomach.
But there is no recognition in those black eyes. Only the beast.
Pain is the first thing that welcomes me back to the world. It’s a sharp, tearing sensation deep in my abdomen, a hollow ache that feels like something vital has been scooped out of me. I blink against the harsh fluorescent lights of the pack hospital, my throat dry as sandpaper.
Dr. Elena Frost stands over me, her expression grim. She doesn't look like a healer today; she looks like an executioner delivering a final verdict.
"Luna," she says softly, her voice devoid of its usual warmth. "You're awake."
I try to sit up, but a fresh wave of agony pins me to the mattress. I reach for my stomach, my fingers trembling as they brush against thick bandages. The space beneath my palm feels empty, wrong.
"My baby," I rasp, the words scraping against my raw throat. It’s a whisper, barely audible, but in this room, it sounds like a scream.
Elena looks away, unable to meet my eyes. "I’m so sorry, Cecilia. The trauma... the Alpha's blow caused massive internal hemorrhaging. We did everything we could, but we lost the pup."
I stare at the ceiling, the white tiles blurring as tears fill my eyes. Gone. My miracle, my hope, extinguished before it even had a chance to spark. A sob builds in my chest, but I swallow it down. I have been trained well. Silence is safety. Silence is survival.
"There's more," Elena continues, her voice tighter now. " The damage to your uterus was extensive. To save your life, we had to perform an emergency hysterectomy. You... you won't be able to carry children in the future."
The world tilts on its axis. Sterility. In our world, where lineage and heirs are everything, I am now broken beyond repair. I am a Luna with no future, a vessel emptied and discarded. I turn my face to the wall, letting the tears fall silently into the pillow. There are no words for this kind of grief. Even if I were allowed to scream, I don't think I would have enough breath.
The door opens a few hours later. I know it's him before I even see him. The air in the room shifts, becoming heavy and charged with the scent of rain and ozone—Nicolas.
I don't turn around. I can't look at him. Not yet.
"Look at me, Cecilia," he commands. His voice is the Alpha tone, vibrating with a power that compels obedience. My body betrays me, turning my head toward him against my will.
He stands at the foot of the bed, impeccable in his suit, not a hair out of place. There is no remorse in his eyes, only a cold, hard disappointment. He looks at me not as his mate, but as a subordinate who has failed a simple task.
"Dr. Frost told you," he states, not asking.
I nod, a single tear escaping.
"This is what happens when you lose control," he says, his voice devoid of emotion. He steps closer, his shadow falling over me. "I warned you. I told you that discipline was paramount. Your shrieking... that noise... it triggered the wolf. You know my condition. You know what loud noises do to me."
My mouth falls open. He is blaming me. He killed our child—his heir—in a blind rage, and he is standing there blaming me for a moment of joy.
"You provoked the beast," he continues, his eyes narrowing. "And now the pack has paid the price. We have lost an heir because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."
I want to scream at him. I want to tell him that he is the monster, that his 'condition' is just an excuse for his brutality. But the fear is ingrained too deep. I just stare at him, my heart shattering into a million pieces.
"You will not leave this room," he orders, turning his back on me. "Until you learn better control, you are confined here. I cannot risk you triggering me again. Not when the pack is already whispering about your failure."
He walks out, the door clicking shut with a finality that echoes in my empty womb. I am alone. Truly, utterly alone.
A week passes in a blur of gray. I eat when food is brought, I sleep when the pain medication drags me under, and I stare at the wall the rest of the time. I am a ghost haunting my own life.
One night, thirst wakes me. My throat feels like it's filled with dust. The pitcher by my bed is empty. I press the call button for the nurse, but no one comes. The hospital wing is quiet, the night shift skeleton crew likely asleep or on break.
I slide out of bed, my legs wobbling beneath me. The pain in my abdomen has dulled to a constant throb, manageable if I move slowly. I creep into the hallway, clutching my IV pole for support. The corridor is dim, lit only by the emergency lights.
I head toward the nurses' station, hoping to find water. As I pass Simone’s office, a sound stops me dead in my tracks.
Laughter.
Loud, raucous, uninhibited laughter.
My heart hammers against my ribs. Noise is forbidden in the pack house, especially at night. Especially near Nicolas. Who would dare?
I creep closer to the door, which is cracked open just a sliver. The light from inside spills onto the floor in a thin yellow line. I press my eye to the gap.
Inside, Simone is sitting on the edge of her desk, her head thrown back as she laughs at something. And there, sitting in the armchair opposite her, is Nicolas.
He is smiling. A genuine, relaxed smile that I haven't seen in years. He holds a glass of amber liquid in one hand, looking completely at ease.
"...and then the Gamma tripped over his own paws!" Simone shrieks, her voice piercing the quiet of the night. It is loud. It is sharp. It is exactly the kind of sound that is supposed to send Nicolas into a feral frenzy.
I flinch, waiting for the monster to emerge. Waiting for his eyes to turn black, for the violence to explode.
But Nicolas just chuckles. He swirls his drink, his eyes warm as he looks at her. "You have a terrible sense of humor, Simone."
"But you love it," she teases, leaning forward to tap his knee. "Admit it, Alpha. You feel better when I'm around."
"I do," he agrees softly. "The noise... it doesn't bother me with you. It's only... other irritants."
I stumble back, my hand flying to my mouth to stifle a gasp. My knees give out, and I slide down the wall, the cold tile seeping into my skin.
He lied. It was all a lie.
He isn't broken by noise. He isn't triggered by sound. He laughs with her. He listens to her scream and shout and laugh, and his wolf sleeps peacefully.
It isn't the noise he hates.
It's me.
I stayed frozen in the shadows of the hallway, my breath shallow and terrified. Through the crack in the door, the scene unfolded like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Nicolas was still smiling at Simone, a look of ease on his face that I hadn't seen directed at me in a decade.
Simone moved around the desk, her hips swaying with deliberate slowness. She picked up a steaming mug from a small warmer. The scent wafted out into the hallway—a heavy, cloying smell of lavender and something darker, bitter like burnt sugar. It was the same tea she made him drink every night before bed. She claimed it was for his nerves, to keep the wolf dormant.
"Here, Alpha," she purred, pressing the mug into his hands. Her fingers lingered on his skin, tracing the veins on the back of his hand. "Drink this. It will help you sleep."
Nicolas took a long sip, his eyes fluttering shut as if the liquid was liquid peace. "You always know what I need, Simone."
She leaned in close, her lips brushing his ear. "Only I know what you need, Nicolas. Only my voice soothes the beast. Everyone else is just noise. Especially her. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard, isn't it? Sharp. Painful."
I watched, horrified, as Nicolas nodded slowly, his expression glassy. "Yes," he murmured, his voice slurring slightly. "Sharp. Painful."
"But I am the calm," she whispered, stroking his hair. "I am the only one who saved you."
"You saved me," he repeated robotically.
The realization hit me with the force of a physical blow. It wasn't just the tea. It was hypnosis. Conditioning. For five years, she had been poisoning him against me, wiring his brain to associate my voice with pain and hers with pleasure. My silence hadn't been protecting him; it had been aiding her. I had made myself small so she could become his world.
Rage, hot and unfamiliar, bubbled up in my chest. It burned away the fear, the grief over my lost baby, the shame of my empty womb. I backed away from the door, my hands trembling not with weakness, but with fury. I wouldn't be silent anymore.
I didn't sleep that night. I sat on the edge of my hospital bed, staring at the door, waiting for the sun to rise. When the first gray light of dawn filtered through the blinds, I stood up. My legs were weak, and the incision on my stomach pulled painfully, but I didn't care. I walked out of the hospital wing, ignoring the startled nurse at the desk, and headed straight for the Alpha's office.
The pack house was waking up. I passed omegas who scrambled out of my way, their eyes widening at the sight of their Luna walking with such grim determination. I reached the heavy oak doors of his office and didn't bother knocking. I pushed them open.
Nicolas was behind his desk, reviewing paperwork. He looked up, his brow furrowing in irritation. "Cecilia? You are supposed to be in recovery. Get back to bed."
I walked to the center of the room. My throat felt like it was filled with rusted razor blades. I hadn't spoken above a whisper in five years. My voice was a stranger to me.
"No," I said.
The word came out raspy, broken, and ugly. But it was loud.
Nicolas flinched violently, dropping his pen. His hands flew to his ears, his face twisting in a grimace of pure disgust. "Stop it!" he roared, his eyes flashing with that dangerous black light. "Don't speak! You know what it does to me!"
"It does nothing to you!" I pushed my voice harder, forcing it through the unused cords. It hurt, but the truth needed to be heard. "It's her, Nicolas. It's the tea!"
He stood up, looking at me like I was a monster. "You're hysterical. You're hurting me!"
"I'm not hurting you! She is drugging you!" I took a step forward, desperate to reach him through the fog Simone had created. "I saw you last night. You were laughing with her! You aren't broken, Nicolas. She's making you hate me!"
He slammed his fist on the desk, cracking the wood. "Enough! Your voice is poison!"
The door behind me burst open. Simone rushed in, breathless, her lab coat flying behind her. "Alpha! I heard shouting! Is everything okay?"
She took one look at me and then at Nicolas, assessing the situation instantly. She rushed to his side, placing a hand on his chest. "Breathe, Alpha. Just listen to my voice. Focus on me."
Nicolas leaned into her touch immediately, his rigid shoulders slumping. He looked at her with desperate relief. "Make it stop, Simone. She's screaming at me."
I wasn't screaming. I was barely speaking at a normal volume. But to him, conditioned by her drugs, I must have sounded like a siren.
"She's lying, Nicolas!" I croaked, pointing a shaking finger at the healer. "Tell him about the herbs! Tell him about the hypnosis!"
Simone turned to me, her face a mask of pity and professional concern. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a file, tossing it onto the desk. "Oh, Cecilia. I was hoping to spare you this."
"What is that?" Nicolas asked, his voice rough.
"I ran some tests after the... accident with the baby," Simone said smoothly, her fingers stroking Nicolas's arm to keep him calm. "The trauma of the miscarriage has triggered a severe episode of postpartum psychosis. She's paranoid, Nicolas. Delusional. She's inventing enemies to cope with her grief."
"I am not crazy!" I yelled, but my voice cracked, making me sound exactly like the unhinged woman she was painting me to be.
Nicolas looked at the file, then at me. The disgust in his eyes solidified into cold, hard judgment. He didn't see his mate. He saw a broken, dangerous thing.
"She's right," he said, his voice devoid of any warmth. "You've lost your mind, Cecilia."
"Nicolas, please," I begged, tears streaming down my face. "I'm your mate. Look at me. Remember who saved you from the fire! It wasn't her!"
"Simone saved me," he snapped, the lie fully rooted in his mind. "And she is saving me now from you."
He pressed the intercom button on his desk. "Security to my office. Immediately."
Two Gamma warriors appeared in the doorway seconds later.
"Take the Luna to the isolation ward," Nicolas ordered, not looking at me. He was looking at Simone, seeking her approval. "She is a danger to herself and the pack. Keep her there until Dr. Whitehall says otherwise."
"Nicolas, no!" I screamed as the warriors grabbed my arms. "Don't do this! She's controlling you!"
Simone watched me being dragged away, a small, triumphant smile playing on her lips that only I could see. As the doors closed, shutting me out, the last thing I saw was Nicolas burying his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of the woman who was destroying us both.