"If anything I say turns out to be wrong, please don't hold it against her."

"I just thought, since she's going into public service, all of this would come out eventually. Better it comes from my own mouth. At least that way she'll keep some semblance of an honest name."

Paddy Lambert turned to me, his face dark as a storm.

"Silvia Henson. Don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

It wasn't that I'd never tried to explain.

Every time, I'd explained until I was hoarse, and every time it only made my mother dig in harder, her lies spiraling further into the absurd.

And yet, no matter how outrageous the story, not one person ever doubted her.

In their eyes, she was my own mother. Surely a mother wouldn't slander her own child.

Just like now. Every gaze in the room pinned me with contempt, as if they wanted to bore holes straight through me.

A heart torn open enough times eventually goes numb.

I pulled over a chair and sat down, unhurried.

No hysterics, the way there used to be. No tearful, frantic denials.

I simply said, calm and even, "My mother is right. I hope you'll look into it thoroughly."

The rest of the background-investigation team had heard enough. They shot to their feet.

"Director Lambert, let's go. There's nothing left to investigate."

"Silvia Henson is morally corrupt. She fails the background check, and she's likely falsified her materials on top of it. We should hand her over to the proper authorities for a full inquiry."

The moment my mother heard the word fails, a flicker of triumph passed through her eyes, almost too faint to catch.

That expression. I knew it far too well.

The day I went to give a speech as the city's outstanding-student representative, she stormed the venue, screaming that I'd stolen money from home.

The night before my SATs, she offered to help me pack my supplies, then tore up my admission ticket like it was scrap paper.

When recruiters from the top universities came to our house, she swore up and down that I looked down on those "garbage schools," until the recruiters turned on their heels and left, furious.

…

Every single time, she wore that same face.

Smug satisfaction laced with the dark thrill of a plot gone exactly as planned.

I could never make sense of it.

She was the person closest to me in the world.

Why, after my father died, would she stop at nothing to destroy me?

Paddy gave my mother a long, pointed look, then said to me, "Silvia Henson, today's review ends here. We'll continue our investigation afterward."

"Rest assured, this is a serious matter. We need evidence. Empty words count for nothing. We'll be back within two days at the most."

I let out a small breath.

So Paddy wasn't like the others. He wouldn't simply take my mother's word and run with it.

This was a gamble, and I'd bet right.

I nodded at Paddy, and he rose, leading the others toward the door.

That was when my mother dropped to her knees with a thud.

"Everything I just said was a lie! I was trying to ruin her on purpose. I'm not even human!"

"My Silvia is the best of girls, the cleanest soul there is. She's never done a single wrong thing in her whole life. It's all my fault, my poisonous black heart. You can't just leave like this."

"I take it all back. I'm begging you, come back and start the review over. Please, don't let this ruin her future."

Tears and snot smeared across her face, her voice cracking and shot through with panic.

"Silvia, Mommy was confused. Forgive Mommy. I'll never run my mouth again."

"Mommy will lock herself away tonight as punishment. Please don't be angry. I'll go kneel right now to atone…"

And all the while, she stole glances to see whether the team had gotten far enough away.

I looked at my mother, and the place where my heart should have been was hollow.

Like something had been carved straight out of me, flesh and blood shredded to nothing.

This was her, always.

She was the one who flung the filth onto me, then turned around and played the innocent, and somehow that only made my supposed disgrace all the more believable.

I felt drained of every ounce of strength. My face blank, I said, "Mom, get up. Everyone's already gone."

My mother's sobbing cut off mid-breath.

She rose to her feet and brushed at dust that wasn't there on her slacks.

"Silvia, don't blame me. I'm only doing what's best for you."

"What's so great about that job? Working yourself to the bone for chump change. Even a dog wouldn't put up with it. Better to marry early and find yourself a man."

"That Lawrence boy, Frank Finch, Carmen Lambert's son, he's a good catch. Honest, obedient, and an only child. Once you marry in, everything that family owns is yours."

I wanted to crack my mother's chest open and see what color her heart really was. Black, or red.

Carmen's son was a halfwit. He couldn't even take care of himself. What decent girl would marry him?

Worse, Carmen had buried herself in debt paying for the boy's treatments.

A pit like that, everyone else ran from it. And my mother wanted to shove me in.

There's a kind of speechlessness that turns into bitter laughter.

There was no telling what new low she'd sink to next.

So I'd play along. Give her what she wanted.

Two more days. I just had to survive two more days, and she'd never be able to run wild again.

I nodded. "Fine. I'll do what you say."

The moment I agreed, her face split into a delighted grin.

"I knew you had your head on straight. Who takes civil service exams anymore? Only an idiot kills themselves over a thankless job."

"I handpicked this man for you out of dozens. Once you marry in, that household answers to you."

"And when you give Frank a son, your Aunt Carmen will wait on you hand and foot, like you're royalty."

I looked at my mother, at that face so certain it was right.

Something lodged in my throat like a thorn. I couldn't swallow it or spit it out, and it stung with every breath, a dull, aching pain.

In all this world, it was supposed to be just the two of us, leaning on each other to get by.

Yet she'd slandered me, smeared me, more than once, and always in front of others.

I saw it clearly now. She was driving me toward the edge.

I turned without a word and shut the bedroom door.

The tears wouldn't stop.

I slid down the back of the door, drew my knees up, buried my face between them, and wrapped my arms tight around myself.

It was the only way I could feel that I was still alive.

In the dead of night, I drifted in a shallow, restless sleep.

Then I felt hands tearing at my dress.

I shot upright with a gasp.

Frank was half-kneeling on my bed, bare-chested.

His eyes were fixed on me, unblinking.

Drool hung from the corner of his mouth as he slurred, "Wife, my mommy told me to sleep with you."

My mind detonated. Everything went white.

This big, hulking man in front of me terrified me for the first time.

On instinct I leapt off the bed and bolted for the door, only to find it locked from the outside.

I pounded on it, screaming until my throat tore. "Mom, open the door! Let me out!"

My mother's voice came through, cold as stone.

"Silvia, you and Frank are getting married sooner or later. Tonight's the perfect chance to bond with him."

"Your Aunt Carmen and I are both waiting to hold our grandbaby."

"Don't worry. Your Aunt Carmen showed Frank some videos. He'll be gentle with you."

I never imagined my mother would stoop this low.

Rage shot straight to my skull, nearly burning through what was left of my mind.

My gut twisted with regret, cold sweat breaking out as I beat on the door again and again.

"Mom, I'm begging you, open the door. Whatever it is, we can talk it out once you open it."

I heard her footsteps walking away.

"I won't bother you two lovebirds. Be a good girl, and I'll let you out tomorrow."

The dead heat of summer, and I felt like I'd been dropped into a block of ice.

The ache in my chest sharpened into something raw and unbearable, every ounce of fury jammed in my throat until I couldn't force out a single word.

Frank had already stripped himself bare.

The instant he lunged at me, I twisted aside and let him crash into empty air.

I didn't hesitate, not even for a heartbeat. I climbed onto the table and threw myself out the window.

When I hit the ground, my balance pitched sideways.

A sharp crack, then white-hot pain exploded through my ankle. It swelled tight and shiny in seconds.

My scream tore through the night, shattering the quiet.

Neighbors woken by the noise pressed against their windows, pointing down at me, voices buzzing all at once.

"Goodness, it's the Henson girl. She jumped."

"She was fine. Why on earth would she jump?"

"I heard that girl's a real piece of work. Who knows what she's up to, pulling a stunt like this."

My hair hung loose and wild, my back drenched, the picture of disgrace.

Thank God we lived on the second floor.

The hedges below had cushioned the fall, so I wasn't in any danger.

But the pain bored straight through me, pinning me where I lay.

My mother leaned out the window and screamed at me, loud enough to flood the whole building with light.

"Silvia Henson, have you lost your mind, you wretched girl? How did I give birth to such an ungrateful little snake?"

"You've humiliated me beyond words. You'd rather throw yourself off a building than stop running around with trash."

"Give me back the five thousand dollars for my treatment. You're sick, you're heartless. Do you want to leave us with nothing…"

Every cruel word drove into my ears like a nail, freezing me solid where I sat.

The ankle burned, frantic and feverish, the swollen knot throbbing with each pulse of blood.

Yet against the shame and the disgrace crushing my chest, somehow it hardly registered.

The neighbors' stares pinned me down with nowhere to hide.

I forced myself up through the agony, balancing on the ball of one foot, head bowed, limping with everything I had toward the gate.

I didn't dare look back. I didn't dare stop.

One thought filled my head: get out of this place that was choking the life out of me, now.

But I'd barely gone a few steps before the security guard at the entrance blocked my path.

"Silvia Henson, quit being so stubborn. You've sent your mother into a heart attack. Go give that money back."

My fingertips went numb, blood roaring straight up to my skull.

I shouted, past caring how it sounded. "Move. My mother's trying to destroy me. She wants me to have a baby with a man who isn't right in the head."

The two guards exchanged a glance, then looked at me with open contempt.

"Your mother called it. A lie this pathetic, trying to weasel your way out, who's going to buy that?"

"We're not letting you run off to that punk again. Have some pity on your mother. Act like a human being for once."

For years my mother had played the perfect mom for everyone to see. Nobody in the neighborhood didn't know how good she was to me.

In the mornings, she'd stroll through the complex with all kinds of breakfast in hand.

She told anyone who'd listen, "My Silvia's so picky, she has to have something different every morning. I got this from the market five miles out."

In the evenings, she'd carry a basket of premium fruit and plant herself right in the thick of the crowd.

She'd say it to anyone, "I've spoiled my Silvia rotten. She won't touch fruit unless it's top grade. I have to go pick through it at the big supermarket myself to suit her taste."

Over time, every neighbor who'd ever met my mother believed she'd raised me like a princess.

They thought she cooked me a hundred different dishes, bending over backward to please me.

That she poured the bulk of the household money into me.

That she'd made me arrogant and willful.

My mother had played the devoted mother in this neighborhood for over a decade.

No one would ever believe that a mother who held me in the palm of her hand could use the filthiest words to slander me, could stop at nothing to ruin me.