I've been working for five years now. This is the first time my mom takes the initiative to call me to go home for the holidays.

So I travel home with heaps of luggage. Still, I manage to free one hand to produce an envelope filled with cash and give it to my mom.

A grin blooms on her face instantly. But when she realizes that there's only ten thousand dollars in the envelope, her grin starts to falter.

"Oh, it only makes sense that you're the most manipulative out of the bunch after all these years."

I pause momentarily as I'm about to go through the front door.

"You've been working for quite a few years now, and yet you only bring home ten thousand bucks. Meanwhile, Sabrina gave us 100 thousand dollars in her first year of working a nice job. Having a bachelor's degree definitely pays off a lot!"

Upon noticing how stunned I look, my mom yanks the gifts over right away.

"Don't go around looking as though we owe you a life debt, Regina! See, Sabrina has better grades than you, and she doesn't have the intention of hiding anything from us. The gifts she always brings us are top-end supplements, so you should stop bringing us cheap stuff like this."

I can only grip the hems of my shirt tightly.

But the thing is, I'm the one with better scores back then…

"Regina, what are you standing there for? Give me a hand."

Mom saw me frozen in place and shoved the gift bags toward me, telling me to open the door.

The moment I watched her toss the gifts I'd spent time picking out straight into the storage room, like they were nothing, my heart sank.

"Mom, I put a lot of effort into picking them out, too…"

She waved me off impatiently. "Alright, alright, I heard you. That's your problem, though. You're always so sensitive. You're not nearly as sensible as your sister."

She dropped onto the couch and immediately started rambling.

"Your sister got into such a great university back then, and she's always been hardworking. She's busy now, sure, but the moment she came home, she handed over 100,000 dollars. And you? I remember your first year working, you brought back what, 3,000 dollars?"

I lowered my head slightly, standing there awkwardly, unsure whether I should sit or keep standing.

"Mom, I could only work as a regular employee at a cafe my first year, but I saved that money bit by bit. If I get promoted to manager next year, I'll be making more."

The more I spoke, the more nervous I felt, like I was bracing for her to snap again.

Mom gave an exaggerated eye roll. "What's the point of making more? Even if you do, you still won't live as well as your sister.

"Regina, how did I end up raising such a disappointment? Look around. Who has a kid as useless as you? Your sister's younger than you, and yet she outshines you in everything!"

Her words saddened me, and my voice caught. "Mom, I barely make it home for the holidays. Can you stop comparing us?"

To my surprise, the moment I said that, she slammed her hand on the table. "What, can't I talk in my own home?"

She shot to her feet and jabbed a finger toward my chest. "Look at yourself, Regina. If you don't compare yourself to someone better, would you rather compare yourself to someone worse? Tell me, what does your sister not do better than you?"

She kept jabbing at me until I stumbled backward, humiliated, but she didn't care that I was close to tears.

"Back then, your sister scored over 1,100 on the SAT. And what did you get? You couldn't even get into university!"

I sniffed and stood there in a daze.

That wasn't true. That wasn't what happened.

Back then, right after the test scores came out, I had overheard Mom and Dad talking.

"We only have enough money to send one kid to university. What are we supposed to do?"

"There has to be some way around it, Michael. Besides, it's not like both of them are guaranteed to get in. We'll wait and see."

At the time, I had been standing outside the door, holding my test results. It showed I'd gotten over 1,350, but I stood there for a long time and couldn't bring myself to push the door open.

In the end, I quietly went back to my room.

We weren't poor, but we were far from well-off. We lived in an old apartment building in a rundown neighborhood.

Their words had cut deep.

Not long after, Sabrina came home. She rushed inside, beaming, and the first thing out of her mouth was, "Mom, Dad! I scored over 1,100!"

The second they heard her, they came hurrying out to celebrate.

"Oh, wow! My sweet girl got over 1,100? That's amazing!"

"Let me see it. Wow, it really is over 1,100. You really made us proud!"

As I listened to the laughter in the living room, I slowly folded my own slip back up.

I didn't want to make things harder for them, so after taking a moment to steady myself, I pushed the door open and spoke.

"Mom, Dad, I only got in the 900s. I probably won't be able to get into a good university. Let Sabrina go instead."

The moment she heard me say that, Mom's expression shifted, and she started cursing me out. "Your father and I fed you, clothed you, raised you, and this is all you got?"

Dad let out a cold laugh. "I knew this girl would never amount to much."

I stood there and took it, all while meeting Sabrina's smug expression.

"Regina, don't you usually get such good grades? How'd you end up scoring so low this time? Now you can't even get into university. That's such a shame. You weren't cheating before, were you?"

I was mortified. I twisted the hem of my dress in my fingers before finally managing to come up with an excuse.

"No. I just… didn't do well this time."

That only made Mom even angrier.

"What exactly are you trying to say, Regina? Don't think for one second I'm letting you take the test again! If you can't get into university, then get out and find a job. No one's paying for another year of school."

"That's… not what I meant." My voice broke, and in the end, my tears fell.

From that moment on, the way my parents looked at me changed, and Sabrina and I ended up going down two completely different paths.

"Mom, I didn't score that low back then. I-I scored over 1,350." I forced the words out with everything I had.

Mom froze for a second, then stared at me for a long moment before speaking. "Regina, what kind of fantasy are you living in? Are you out of your mind, or am I?"

The way she said it made me panic.

"No, Mom. I still have the slip from back then. It's saved on my phone. I'll find it…"

I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through it in a rush as tears continued to stream down my face.

How pathetic of me. Even after all this time, I would still cry whenever something like this happened.

I kept scrolling through my gallery until I reached the pictures from when I had first started working.

Back then, I messed up almost every day and got chewed out by my manager constantly. I barely had enough to eat myself, yet every month, I still sent half my salary back home.

And every night, when I got back to that tiny rented room, I would look at that photo.

I often found myself wondering whether things might've been different if I'd told them the truth about my score back then.

Would they have celebrated for me the way they celebrated for Sabrina?

If they had, maybe I wouldn't have had to struggle this hard. Maybe I would've had a different life, too.

Over the past five years, I had spent four of them watching Sabrina's university life through the photos she posted on her Instagram.

From the day she moved onto campus as a freshman to the day she graduated in her cap and gown, every one of those moments belonged to the life I had given up.

Did I regret it? I didn't know.

A few years ago, I probably would've answered without hesitation and said no. But now, all I could say was that I didn't know anymore.

That feeling only became stronger the more I grew up and the more of the world I saw.

Even so, I kept reminding myself that I couldn't say anything because I couldn't make things harder for Mom and Dad, and that I shouldn't let myself become bitter like that.

After all, they had always loved Sabrina more. Even if I had been the one with the better score, they might not have been happy for me anyway.

I kept scrolling through my gallery, but no matter how far I went, I couldn't find that old test slip.

Mom rolled her eyes at me, full of contempt.

"That's enough, Regina. I know you're just trying to protect your image, but do you really need to lie about something like that? If you ask me, you never had that good a score. Since when did you get so comfortable lying?"

Her words hurt so badly that I could barely breathe, and tears kept dripping onto my phone screen.

Why? Why couldn't I even find the only photo that could prove what I had scored back then?

Wasn't the whole reason I gave up going to university so Mom and Dad wouldn't have to make such a difficult decision?

If that was true, then all the years of hardship I went through barely amounted to anything.

My voice broke as I uttered each word with effort. "I'm not lying…"

"What did you say?" Mom frowned as if she hadn't heard me clearly.

I raised my voice. "I said I'm not lying!"

She took a deep breath and visibly tamped down her temper, clearly annoyed by my crying. Then, she waved her hand dismissively.

"Enough. Stop crying. If you want to cry, go to your room and do it there. I've had enough of this!"

As she spoke, she stood up and was about to shove me.

"Crying is all you know how to do. Can't I speak my mind around you? You were the one who couldn't get into university back then. Don't stand there acting like your father and I owe you something!"

As she shoved and hit me without the slightest bit of mercy, I couldn't keep it together anymore and finally shouted back, "But I really did score over 1,350! Why won't you believe me?"

Meeting her startled eyes head-on, I continued, "You've always been like this! Every time I did better than Sabrina, nobody said a word. But the second Sabrina did better than me, she became your precious daughter all over again.

"Mom, I'm your daughter, too. How could you do this to me?"

Mom froze, then slapped me hard across the face.

"Oh, so now raising you was our mistake? You ungrateful little brat. How dare you talk to me like that?"

Her tone sharpened, and the next slap landed against the side of my head.

My face was swollen, but the tears hung stubbornly in my eyes. "So you never loved me, did you? Even though I was your first child."

Mom's hand stopped midair. She stared at me in shock. "You…"

Before she could finish, I heard the sound of the lock turning at the front door.

"Mom! Dad and I are back. Look what I brought you."

Sabrina's bright and cheerful voice rang out from the entryway.

"Oh, you're back, Rina."

Mom, whose face had been twisted with anger a second ago, instantly broke into a smile. She hurried over and took the huge bag of snacks from Sabrina.

"Looks like you bought yourself something good to eat. That's my girl. You know how to enjoy yourself."

Sabrina's gaze casually swept past my puffy, tear-streaked face, completely unmoved. "Oh, Regina's home, too."

She then turned to Mom. "Mom, look what I got you."

Like she was pulling off a magic trick, she pulled out the newest phone from her pocket.

At that moment, Mom's smile was genuine.

"Oh, wow! Why did you buy me something this expensive? The phone you got me last time still looks brand new, and now you bought me another one!"

She turned it over and over again in her hands like it was a treasure. "This is the newest model, right? And you even picked the color I like. You're amazing, sweetheart!"

I sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to do, until Dad noticed I'd been crying. He casually pulled the smallest bag of snacks from the pile and handed it to me.

"What's wrong? Arguing with your mom again? Give it a rest. That's just how she is. You're a grown woman now. Why are you still so immature? You're too old to be sniveling like that."

I slowly reached out and took it, but I didn't eat it.

If I hadn't taken it, Dad would've scolded me anyway. He was rarely ever that pleasant.

Sabrina tossed her designer purse aside, stretched out on the couch, and smiled at me. "Regina, why are you arguing with Mom again? Don't tell me this is about the SAT. It's been years already. Even if you did score over 1,350 back then, Mom and Dad could only afford to send one kid to university."

I stared at her in shock, and when I spoke, my voice came out hoarse. "What do you mean by that, Sabrina? You knew I scored that high this whole time?"

She picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and answered casually, "Of course, I knew."

My fists tightened, my chest heaving with every breath. "You knew? Then why didn't you say anything all those years when Mom was screaming at me? And back then, why did you accuse me of cheating?"

The entire living room went quiet.

Mom and Dad exchanged suspicious glances, their expressions strange.

"What's going on? Did she really score that high?"

Mom's eyes darted back and forth between Sabrina and me.

Meanwhile, Dad crushed out the cigarette in his hand and looked over at me. "That's enough. What's done is done. Regina, you're not a kid anymore, so just let it go."

I sat there without saying a word. I just felt disillusioned.

Mom busied herself pouring a glass of water for Sabrina, never once considering that I hadn't had a single drop of water since I walked through the door.

All of a sudden, I understood what Sabrina meant.

She was right. Even if I really had scored over 1,350, would anything have been different?

No. They still would've chosen to put Sabrina through university, and I still wouldn't be worthy of a glass of water.

I looked at Sabrina, my voice shaking. "Sabrina, why didn't you tell them?"

She met my gaze head-on, malice flickering in her eyes. "Would it have made a difference? I don't think so."

Beside her, Mom slammed a glass onto the table.

"Haven't you had enough? So what if you really scored over 1,350? That doesn't mean your life would be any better after university. If anything, it was better for you to get out into the world early and toughen up!

"You were so shy when you were little. And now look at you, talking back and arguing with your own mother. Isn't that proof you needed to get out there?"

I honestly couldn't believe those words were coming out of her mouth.

"Get out into the world? Toughen up?"

I spoke softly and slowly, then suddenly laughed.

"Mom, was living in a tiny room with barely enough space to move around supposed to toughen me up? Was being screamed at by my manager until midnight and not being allowed to get off work supposed to toughen me up?

"When I first started, I couldn't even find a decent job. I washed dishes at a restaurant all winter long, and even now my fingers ache so badly every winter that I can't sleep. Is this what you call toughening me up?"