After failing the college entrance exam, I was kidnapped by a criminal and assaulted in a barn. It sparked rumors of infidelity.

The very next day, my boyfriend—my partner for years—broke off our engagement and quickly married a new female soldier named Margaret Carter.

The village was rife with gossip and my mother, who had raised me alone, collapsed from the stress.

In my darkest moment, Richard Harisson, a new commander in the country’s ranks, came to our house with a marriage proposal.

He offered to marry me and promised to make me the commander's wife. His proposal felt like a ray of hope breaking through my despair and I accepted it without a second thought.

During our four years of marriage, we maintained a respectful distance.

One day, while I was three months pregnant and visiting the military base to bring him lunch, I accidentally overheard a conversation between him and the village chief.

“Rick, you had me swap Evelyn's acceptance letter for Maggie's so they wouldn’t end up together,” the chief said.

“But why did you have to ruin her reputation? A woman’s honor is incredibly important,” he continued.

After a brief silence, I heard Richard respond, “There was no other choice; the only way to ensure Tom the Scholar would completely let go was to take away her purity.”

“I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Maggie.”

***

Just a wall away, I observed the village chief shaking his head in a gesture of reluctant sympathy.

“But is this not rather cruel to Evelyn? She did not have the opportunity to attend university and now toils at the factory, enduring the most arduous of labors, while some even dare to call her a harlot.”

“Are you not afraid that one day she shall discover the truth…”

Before the village chief could finish, Richard’s deep voice interjected, “She shall not find out!”

“I have married her with the intent of using the remainder of my life to atone.”

“Indeed, it was my design to ensure her pregnancy, for my actions have long since led to her mother’s stroke, stemming from the malicious rumors I spread…”

Upon hearing this, the lunchbox I clutched nearly fell from my grasp as I hurried to the staircase. My trembling fingers brushed against the slight curve of my belly and tears erupted from my eyes, unable to be contained.

I could never have fathomed that the very man who once rescued me from despair would ultimately become the architect of my ruin. The marriage I had cherished and the child I bore were but a paltry compensation for his guilt.

In his eyes, my innocence held little value when weighed against Margaret’s happiness.

The haunting memory of my mother, just before her passing, beseeching Richard and me to cherish our lives together, twisted my stomach with a tumult of anguish.

As I leaned against the wall, fighting the nausea that surged within me, Richard's urgent voice suddenly called from behind, "Eve, my dear, what troubles you? Are you unwell?"

He hastened to my side, inadvertently knocking over the lunchbox, causing the scalding sauce to splash upon his hand.

Yet he seemed oblivious to his own discomfort, as he gently enfolded me in his embrace, a hint of guilt tinging his tone.

"It is entirely my fault. I rushed from home this morning, forgetting the lunch I had promised you, thus forcing you to make this long journey."

"I think the heat has affected your condition; come, let’s get you rest in my room."

With that, Richard lifted me effortlessly and laid me upon the bed. His movements bore the same tenderness as before, yet I could no longer sense the warmth in his affection.

With eyes brimming with unshed tears, I remained silent and Richard, mistaking my quietude for discomfort, hurried off to fetch some sweetened water from the infirmary, leaving me to observe my surroundings.

Since our marriage, he had often spoken of the need for discipline within the army, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a certain distance, which had kept me from ever stepping foot in his private space.

As I sought some semblance of understanding in my disquiet, my gaze fell upon a pink notebook resting upon the bookshelf, stirring my curiosity.

It was well known that Richard was a man of stern demeanor. He did not allow bright colors to be in his room.

It was clear that this notebook had been frequently opened, as the pages had begun to yellow.

A thought sparked in my mind. I opened the notebook and was immediately confronted by a collection of love letters. They were meticulously numbered, adding up to an impressive a thousand letters. Each one began with the phrase, "To the light of my life."

The very first letter was dated shortly after our wedding, during a time when I was suffering from the trauma of my kidnapping and couldn’t sleep at night.

Richard, on the other hand, had claimed to be busy with military duties, but in reality, he had come here to express his longing for Margaret. His concise yet powerful words overflowed with a quiet and profound love. Inside the envelope, he wrote that they had been neighbors and had grown up together.

They were separated for several years due to policy changes and this trip to the countryside was the first time they could meet again.

I recalled how, during the summer and winter breaks over the years, Richard would often take leave to visit Boreal Capitol. On those days, all the fabric and food ration tickets we had saved would mysteriously vanish, leaving me with only scraps of cloth and meager meals.

The back of the notebook was filled with numerous photographs, all of Margaret. They captured her transformation from an eight-year-old girl to an eighteen-year-old young woman.

Richad had been meticulously recorded all those. Within these pages, I discovered numerous photographs of the two of them together and in every one, Richard's gaze was invariably directed at Margaret.

In our marriage, apart from our wedding photographs, every time I suggested we visit the photo studio, Richard would decline, citing his aversion to having his picture taken.

It was not a lack of fondness for photographs, but rather that the person he desired to capture in them was not me.

Then, at the bottom of the stack, I came upon a final photograph.

It captured Margaret, standing joyfully at the entrance of Solarium University, while Richard gaze at her with unmistakable affection, an acceptance letter clutched in his hand.

I stared at the university in the image, my heart heavy with the knowledge that this opportunity was meant for me… yet it had been stolen away by them.

At that moment, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway, prompting me to hastily hid the notebook aside. As I rose to my feet, tears flowed down my cheeks once more.

When Richard entered the room and saw my distress, he swiftly placed his cup down and enveloped me in his embrace.

“Eve, why do you cry? Are you feeling unwell? You're making me worried.”

I looked up at Richard, trying to catch a hint of fakeness in his expression. But there was none. He appeared completely sincere.

Turns out, love could indeed be forged. Too bad, I no longer desired it.

With a calm demeanor, I pushed Richard away and casually muttered an excuse. “It’s nothing, just a bit of morning sickness.”

“I’ll head back now; you take your time eating.” With that, I turned away, ignoring his surprised gaze as I left the room.

On my way home, I registered for the upcoming rural work program in the Great Corona Plains, set to commence in five days.

For the rest of my life, I would raise my child in vast, open lands. As for Richard, if he loved her so deeply, then I would facilitate his happiness.

The next morning, Richard continued his routine of buying sweetened soy dessert. After just a few bites, he told me that there was an urgent matters that require him to be at the base.

I simply looked down at the desert bowl, bitterly amused.

Once, I had believed he simply enjoyed sweet flavors, so I had accommodated him. It was only yesterday, upon perusing the notebook, that I realized this was Margaret’s favorite.

I had repeatedly expressed my preference for savory food, yet he had never remembered.

After pouring the entire dessert bowl down the sink, I stood up and made my way to the Registry Office.

The staff informed me of the latest policy enacted at the beginning of the year: as long as both parties signed the divorce agreement, the marriage could be dissolved.

I let out a sigh of relief, holding the agreement in my hand as I prepared to head to the base to find Richard. Suddenly, I remembered that our marriage certificate was still at our house, so I turned back to grab it.

As soon as I entered the courtyard, I overheard the women gossiping in the yard.

“Did you hear? After graduating from college, that Carter woman broke up with Tom the Scholar and Commander Harrison rushed to pick her up.”

“I think they were a perfect match—one a battalion commander, the other a college graduate. They grew up together, like childhood sweethearts.”

“Who would have thought Commander Harrison would marry a woman who had been mistreated? I feel sorry for him.”

As they saw me, they fell silent, casting disdainful glances in my direction.

This time, I didn’t lower my head. Instead, I lifted my chin and walked with confidence.

When my hand reached for the door handle, I heard a familiar voice from inside.

“Maggie, don’t be upset. That kind of man isn’t worth your attention.”

“As long as you come back, I’ll make arrangements for you. Don’t worry, no one will say anything. It’ll be just like before.”

Richard’s voice trembled slightly, filled with compassion.

“Rick, there's no way it's going to be the same.” Margaret’s voice was soft, almost pleading. “You’re married now and even though I’ve broken up with Tom, everyone in the village knows I was with him. They’ll all gossip...”

Before she could finish, Richard rushed forward to comfort her. “No, I won’t let anyone talk about you, I promise.”

Hearing those words made my heart ache.

When I was under attack from gossip, Richard always told me to stay at home and wait for time to heal the wounds, that eventually, it would all be forgotten.

Then when it came to Margaret, he didn't hold back. He didn't want her to endure even the slightest bit of discomfort.

So this is what love and indifference look like…

Yet, everything I’ve endured is a consequence of his actions.

I steeled myself against the ache in my heart as I prepared to push the door open, only to be surprised when it swung open from the inside.

Upon seeing me, Richard’s relaxed demeanor shifted to one of concern.

His voice took on a slightly panicked tone. “Eve, what are you doing here at the old house?”

“Don’t misunderstand,” he replied. “Maggie graduated from college and I’ve brought her back to stay here temporarily. You’ve met her before, right?”

Met her? That was an understatement!

When Thomas came to break off our engagement, Margaret stood by with a look of smug satisfaction.

I nodded, keeping my expression neutral as I intended to go inside and gather my things, but before I could,

Margaret took hold of my arm. “Evelyn, how’s your job at the textile factory going? You have no idea how stressed I’ve been trying to find work since graduation.”

“Luckily, Rick said he’d take care of it for me.”

I glanced down at Margaret’s delicate, youthful hands. They contrasted sharply with my own worn and calloused ones.

It reminded me of the time after our wedding when my mother asked Richard to help me find a job.

He agreed in front of her, but later, he privately expressed his reluctance, saying that if he showed favoritism, it would go against his oath as a soldier.

That’s why, all these years, I’d only been able to find temporary work at the textile factory.

Setting aside my feelings of frustration, I forced a smile and said, “That sounds good! If you need anything, just talk to Rick. He’ll go all out to help you.”

With that, I headed into the old bedroom to look for our marriage certificate.

As I turned around, I noticed Richard quickly following me. The moment he saw what I was holding, his expression changed.

“Eve, what do you need the marriage certificate for?”

I replied, trying to sound casual, “Oh, it’s nothing. The hospital just needs it to process my maternity paperwork.”

He visibly relaxed at my answer, but before he could say anything, Margaret’s surprised voice cut through the air.