ELSA

For a werewolf society, one of the most important things that any of us can look forward to is the day we find and claim our mates. But for me, Elsa, daughter of Luca, this day held no such joy. It was merely a formality. A pointless punctuation that I was soon going to puncture.

My breaths fogged the air in front of me as I ran.

Onward, I charged myself. Faster.

I didn’t want to look back. I didn’t care that I was being noisy and that my clothes were dirty. There was nothing else said or done that would make me continue with this façade, and inside me, my wolf howled, sensing both my pain and anger, and stoked by both, wished me to shift. To allow myself to take the backseat while she championed things.

And for a while, I considered it.

My phone buzzed against my thigh and I pulled it out, not bothering to stop my bothering. It was him. I swiped at the call, not knowing why I did so, only for a message to pop in a second later.

DON’T DO ANYTHING RASH, Elsa.

The message read. I laughed mirthlessly. How much more of a rash decision could I make? Any more than catching my supposed mate in bed with another woman? Another woman that he’d been seeing for a longer period than I could have ever fathomed.

There was nothing more rash left to do so I stashed my phone back in my pocket and continued to run, away from his house of fornication and all of his lies, hoping that the ten thousand sweet nothings he whispered into my ears every other day would disappear, dissolving in a cloud that rested with him.

But I’d never been that lucky, and the only thing I could manage was broken sobs that speared through every fiber of my being as unbidden memories rose inside me.

* * *

Seven years ago when I first met Alpha Derek Xavier, it felt like for once, I was going to have all the luck in the universe. He smelled like the forest, rich and earthy, and stood strong and proud. But his eyes carried a fire burning in them that made me go weak in the knees, every time I was with him.

He was my little burning sun. He pulled me in with every single word, with every single touch… I wanted to be his. I desired it, and deep inside me, I felt it too. So when he’d asked me out, abandoning the conventional rules of mating, I’d consented quickly. Something about his strong confidence and the way he said the words, “We can make our magic. Why wait for a mate when we’ve got all we need right here?”

And like a fool, I had believed him.

My family did not approve, but I was one of the few women left without a mate in the village. I had gone for the mating rituals from the very minute that I was determined an adult wolf at eighteen, expecting to meet the person that my wolf would howl with joy for.

But I never found them and had soon given up hope of finding a mate. Until the miracle of Alpha Derek appeared…

Even now, I could still feel the warmth of his skin, so close to my own, and hear his words pounding through my brain as though he was right next to me…

“What are you doing?”

My eyes snapped open and new smells filled my nostrils.

Spices being prepared for an evening meal, a slew of meats and peppers being turned together in a large pot that I knew would now have to be shared with others… with people who were not supposed to be privy to this private joy.

I opened the door to my home with a bang that only I could hear.

“He’s been cheating on me, mother!” I wanted to scream.

“All the time, that sick bastard’s been playing me. He has a mate. He’s had a mate longer than we knew and I was a fool to ever think that he loved me. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t give me anything. Only scraps while I go all the way for him, and he does everything for his mate.”

But no sound left my lips. I stood there hunched at the door, heaving as though I could pull in all the pain in my heart. After a while, someone noticed the open door and came to me.

“Elsa?”

The voice was rough, but the tone was concerned. I would always find comfort in my father.

“What happened to you, child?”

“Father” I sniffed. All I wanted to do was throw myself into his arms tell him everything and just cry. I took a step towards him.

“Alpha Derek —”

But at that moment, my aunt came forward, ladle smelling fragrantly of meat broth folded in her arms as she gave me a dirty look. “Elsa, you disgrace us all.”

I stopped, my outstretched hands falling as my father turned. My mother came out just at that second, looking angrier than my aunt.

“Elsa, you will turn back this instant and go back to that house you just ran from.”

“Elsa,” my father chided, “will you not at least hear your daughter out first?”

But my mother was already shouting over the roof. “I will not! She has to go back to his house, Nolan. She must go back to Alpha Derek and apologize to the man. How many years have we waited for and with her in this house? Waiting for her mate… no one thought to seek her out and when the one man who finally wants to marry her comes along, what does she do? She drops his engagement ring without a word and runs away.”

“You’re despicable, Elsa,” my aunt berated. “Even I would not be that wicked to someone who has been that good to me.”

But Alpha Derek had not been good to me at all.

Everywhere I looked, I could see angry eyes. I could see that they were not ready to listen to me, no matter what I had to say.

I understood what had happened.

Alpha Derek had lied to them before I could get here.

He’d done it again.

ELSA

I got the full message from my father much later, when my mother and aunt had finally left me to my tears, standing by the door, cursing about how much they had spent on the food that they had prepared that was now all a waste.

Nobody asked if I had eaten. Nobody was looking at me.

Alpha Derek had sent a message to my family, telling them that he was calling off the engagement because I had left my engagement ring on the front porch and ran off without a word.

He didn’t bother to add that the only reason why I was running away was because I had caught him in bed with Alice Jones, a woman that I had long since heard rumors about her being his mate, but had long since ignored.

It had been seven years…

“I’m here, Elsa,” my father said. I looked up with red eyes. I had long since stopped crying, but my eyes were still puffy and red. “It’s just like your mother said. You still have to go back to Alpha Derek and apologize to him.”

“Apologize?” I screamed but it came out as a drawn-out squeak. “Do you have any idea what that man has done to me?”

“I know, Elsa.” My father comforted me. I shot him a deadly look and he sighed. “I suppose I don’t. But you have to go back to his house and apologize. Maybe things will work out fine. What’s that thing young couples do these days? Kiss and makeup?”

But I was not even in the least interested in kissing or making up with Alpha Derek Xavier, and it was amusing to me that my father, who was suggesting that I kiss and makeup with this man who was not my mate, had been long divorced from my mother. He didn’t think about kissing and making up then.

My mother showed up at the door, her impressive bosom heaving.

“Elsa, you can’t stay in this house. I forbid you to stay in this house. You have to go back to Alpha Derek and apologize. He’s a good man. He put a roof over your head, he feeds you.”

“We split every expense fifty-fifty. And he doesn’t care about me.” I murmured under my breath.

But my mother either didn’t hear this part or didn’t care. I didn’t bother explaining myself. I just rose from my bed and walked out of the house, certain that my mother would make sure that I was headed back to Alpha Derek.

SHE’S HEADED BACK TO YOUR PLACE, BRADELY, I saw my mother's text on our family group chat. WE’RE SORRY ABOUT THE ENTIRE INCIDENT. PLEASE, TAKE HER BACK. WE’LL COME OVER WITH GIFTS TOO.

I put my phone back in my pocket and knocked on the door.

The door swung open and Alpha Derek was there in front of me, his expansive shoulders filling up the doorway. His scent forced its way into my nostrils and the smell of my cooking made me wish I could stay here again, call this place my home. But it was never my home. It had never been.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I was stupid and I should not have run away like that.”

At this, Alpha Derek smiled and stretched his arms out for a hug. “Oh, Elsa. You always make me want to do the most terrible things.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, feeling nothing. “I was stupid and I should not have run away like that.”

“Yes, you were very stupid. But it’s okay. You’re back now.”

“I should have waited for you to explain why you were naked and thrusting into Alice. I should have known that there was an explanation for it. You were probably just helping her out.”

At this, Alpha Derek’s face changed and the fire in his eyes became a blazing furnace. But I am already used to this now. His gentlemanly demeanor was what endeared him to my family. But the beast in him was something that I alone knew.

“Come in, Elsa. And don’t do that again. You put me in a tight position when you left. You made Alice uncomfortable too. And yes, she had only come over so I could help her out with something. We might have been lovers once, but you should know that nothing is going on with Alice and me.”

I barely nodded as I took in his lies.

The house seemed to have devolved in the few hours that I was not in this house.

If Alice had left, it had been in a hurry. Everything was scattered everywhere and my keen wolf senses could still perceive her smell in the air. I moved through the mess of clothes on the floor as though I could not see anything.

The cake I had made since afternoon was still in the oven, waiting.

I pulled it out and stuck sad little candles in it. Alpha Derek entered, his mouth open. Then he noticed the cake.

“Oh. It’s your birthday today. Happy thirtieth, baby.”

But his words disgusted me. I gave him a weak smile and moved the cake into the bin next to me. Alpha Derek looked on wordlessly.

“I have to go, Elsa. Alice still needs help and I have to be there with her. Can you make something for us? Preferably without cilantro. Alice doesn’t like those. And I’ll probably be there all day. And if your people come along, you can tell them that I’m out and won’t be back soon. You can warm the food when I’m back or something. I’ll see you later.”

“Of course, my love,” I said in my sweetest voice. It was sickening to hear, even in my ears. But Alpha Derek only grunted and left.

I looked around and smiled lazily.

I went straight up to my room and began picking out my things. There was no food in the kitchen because I had thought that we would go out to celebrate my birthday.

Stupid, wishful thinking. Never again.

Anyone who was going to hear of this story would laugh at me. I didn’t care much about them, but I was broken because Alpha Derek had led me on for so many years already, and in my head, I had believed him. I had loved him…

I piled some more clothes, tears silently trailing down my cheek as I walked back down and out of the house.

If my people came along, they could keep their food. I didn’t care about getting married anymore. I was going to wait until I met my mate, and if I didn’t, then that was alright, too. But I wasn’t going to stay here and wait for Alpha Derek or anyone else.

Not me. Not anymore.

ELSA

My mother was waiting for me at the door of our house, eyes wide and searching.

“Where’s Alpha Derek ?” She questioned.

“Alpha Derek ?” I was confused. “Derek Xavier?”

“Don’t be silly, girl.” She snapped at me. “AS though there could be any other Derek Xavier in your life. Yes, Alpha Derek. I invited him over so he could eat all the food we prepared yesterday.”

“Oh,” I said in a small voice. “I didn’t realize.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t know a gift horse if it was looking you in the mouth. Sometimes, I wonder how I even gave birth to you.”

She muttered into the house, not bothering to pause for breath, punctuating every single spell of silence with her words.

“You’ve been single forever. Now a good man comes into your life to take care of you and wipe away your shame, and you’re behaving this way to him. Ungrateful. Skies know I was never raised like that. Don’t bother unpacking your box either, because you’ll be going back with him as soon as he arrives. You’re lucky Alpha Derek is still going to take you back.”

I stopped walking in step with her, my eyes pulled to the floor.

“I’m not going to go back to Alpha Derek .”

My mother continued as though she hadn’t heard a single thing I said.

My aunt had left a gift I was grateful for.

Alpha Derek did not come to visit that night. Nor did he come the next day, so that by the third day that I was still in my room, my mother had begun to get worried. She burst into my room unannounced, a determined look on her face.

I had just finished talking with my friend, Olivia who had married into another pack some distance away from us. It was an unusual proposition, but I had been trying to see if should be able to put me up at her place for a while as I tried to heal from this entire thing.

“I’m talking to you, Elsa Luca,” my mother thundered. “What have you done with Derek Xavier? Why isn’t he coming for you?”

In response, I stood up and moved to the box I had returned with. It was still locked up, the contents unpacked. As though my mother sensed what I was going to do, she suddenly pounced on me, shouting at the top of her voice about what an ungrateful child I was.

“I’ll have you reported to the Alpha’s council!” She screamed. “You’re not going to sully that man’s honor. He’s the only person who will look at you like a mate in this pack. No one else wants you. You think I’m going to stay here with you in this house until you die?”

“I don’t want to stay here, mother!” I shouted back at her. “I’m thirty! I can do what I want. I can go where I want.”

“The only place you’ll be going back to is Alpha Derek’s! I don’t care if you have to lick the ground he steps on. You’re not going to leave that house simply because he has another woman. For God’s sake, you silly girl. Grow up! I don’t care whether you have to beg him or get pregnant for him. You’ll do it! You’ll go back to Derek Xavier, even if you have to die in that house!”

“I won’t!” I yelled and shot away from the wall, running away from my mother. I misjudged the trajectory and tripped over something on the floor, my head banging sickeningly onto the floor.

My vision swam and my something warm was trickling down my head. Still, I stumbled to my feet and pushed open the main door.

It was just beginning to rain, darkening clouds rumbling softly as weeping threads fell from the sky.

I staggered forward once, then backward, and stepped into the courtyard, falling down in the rain.

My breathing was ragged, and I could hear my mother screaming inside the house. There was no one but the walls to hear her. My father had long since disappeared, appearing only because of my engagement party that had been called off, and my other relatives had other things to do.

I thought of Olivia.

I wished I had never been born. I wished…

The rain roared louder in my ears and I was beginning to catch a cold, my clothes thoroughly soaked. I didn’t hear the car when it parked beside me and the man came out until he was standing right in front of me, an umbrella over my head.

Even through the rain, his scent still spread through every fiber of my being. Skies, I hated that I knew and loved this man. This man that I now absolutely wanted nothing to do with…

Derek Xavier was stiff-faced as he held out a hand to me.

“This is pointless, Elsa,” he said. “No matter where you go or what you claim, you love me. And you’re not going to be able to forget about me, either. You’re thirty already without a mate. No one but me will want you. So stop this tantrum and come back with me.”

I looked back and thought about my mother who was still screaming in the house. I thought about the others like my aunt who thought I was never going to have a mate or get married. I thought about how old I was getting… thirty already…

And Alpha Derek’s lies—his deceit… those stood most glaring of all.

And yet, when he lifted me and led me into his car, I allowed him.

He got in beside me, throwing a coat that reeked of Alice’s scent, Alice’s perfume…

“You’re still going to be mine, Elsa. What are you so angry about, anyway?”

He started the car, but wouldn’t put on the heater. I shivered, huddled in Alice’s coat. I could have cried, and he wouldn’t have even noticed, rain or not.

“Nothing is going on between Alice and I; we were lovers once, and I help her out now and then…”

Even now, he was still lying. Even when I knew that Alice was still his mate. Nothing separates a mate bond.

“You’ll have to apologize to her and come back to the house. Alright, Elsa?”

I nodded feebly in my chair.

“There’s a good girl.” He put the car into gear and pulled a hair away from my forehead. “Come on. Say goodbye to your mother.”

“Goodbye,” I said, more to myself.

“Goodbye.”