[Wanna do it?] I accidentally sent the message meant for my bestie to her brother, Gerald Cooper.

Ten minutes later, I received his reply. [In the Maybach downstairs. Come down.]

To my surprise, her brother was very well endowed too.

That night, things got heated and we almost lost control.

When we sobered up, he promised me that he would bear responsibility for his actions.

He treated me well and doted on me, giving me anything I asked for. However, there was only one rule: I must never admit in public that I was his girlfriend.

Five years later, he brought another woman home.

With his arm wrapped around the woman, he told me that she was his girlfriend.

I confronted him, asking, "If she's your girlfriend, then what would that make me? I waited five long years for you!"

He chuckled indifferently and said something that chilled me to my bone.

"Wait for me? Did I tell you to wait? Nyssa Bennett, don't ever fall in love with someone so desperately. It's terrifying."

So it turned out that my love for him was nothing but trouble.

From then on, I tried to live without him, let go of my feelings, and finally left him.

But one week later, when I was exchanging my vows with another man, Gerald was standing there in the aisle, looking up at me with reddened eyes.

Under the dull streetlight, Gerald Cooper was leaning against the car door, finishing his last cigarette.

He stomped it out and checked his phone for the tenth time in five minutes. Out of the ten times, nine were to reply to the nine voice notes from the same woman.

The last message he sent was to my best friend, who also happened to be his sister, Elena Cooper. It was to let her know he would send me home safely.

He put the phone down and turned to me with a smile. It was obvious that chatting with that other woman had put him in a good mood.

It was probably due to that that his voice was a lot more casual and relaxed when he spoke to me. "Nessa, you're a grown woman now. You get how adults handle separation cleanly, right?"

He ruffled my hair, the gesture so casual and intimate that it erased the seriousness of this breakup talk between us.

He had never taken me, Nyssa Bennett, seriously. Not even five years ago, when I got drunk and we slept together.

After I sobered up, he sat on the edge of the bed and smoked a full cigarette. Then, blowing a smoke ring, he asked in a flippant tone, "You like me?"

Terrified, I nodded. His response was just a simple chuckle. "Okay, then. Let's be together. Just don't tell Elle. She'd stab me if she found out."

He said it like it was nothing, and I stupidly believed him.

From then on, I became a kind of clingy accessory, always at his side.

I thought time would change him, that eventually, he would see me differently. If only I knew then how wrong I was.

He still dated other women. I was just something he kept around when he was bored.

I dropped my gaze. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gerald typing again. The woman he had labeled as his girlfriend in his contacts had only asked for his number at a bar two nights ago.

I took a few deep breaths to suppress the bitterness welling up inside me. Finally, I mustered the courage to ask him the question that I had been too afraid to ask for five long years.

"Gerald, why is everyone else allowed to be your girlfriend except me?"

He froze. Then, he answered with a hint of weariness, "It's not that you can't… It's just that after I agreed to be with you that day, I kind of regretted it.

"Over the past five years, I tried to treat you like a normal woman. But I just couldn't. It's like…anyone can be my girlfriend, except you."

On that quiet street, it was the first time he spoke to me in such a serious tone. His eyes, which reflected my silhouette, seemed tender but cruel.

I hurriedly looked away, afraid he would see my reddened eyes.

"Okay, I get it. Thank you for sending me home tonight, Gerald. It's late. I should head up."

I started to step away, but he grabbed my wrist.

Gerald gently wiped my tears, his face wearing that I-told-you-so look.

"You're such a crybaby. Won't you fight for the chance to stay with me? Perhaps for Elle's sake, I may play along a little longer," he said lightheartedly.

However, I could not believe him anymore.

The square outline in the right pocket of his jacket gave him away. It was the protection he kept for his trysts with other women.

I took a step back and forced my voice to sound calm. "No thanks, Gerald. Enjoy your night."

Then, I walked straight into the apartment complex without looking at him. I walked fast. My breath came out in harsh clouds against the cold night.

I thought I would not cry again. When I unlocked my door and glanced down from the balcony, Gerald was still standing where he had been, staring into space.

I knew he was waiting for my room light to go on so he could leave without worry. How could he wound me so recklessly and then go on being comfortably kind?

I shut the balcony curtains and collapsed to the floor. Finally, the dam broke. I let it all out until I felt empty, pouring out five years of hurt and humiliation.

My phone chimed. It was a message from Gerald.

[Nessa, you should go out and explore the world while you're young.

[There are plenty of men out there. Don't just tie yourself down to one person.

[Also, get some rest.]

Those three messages lined up on the screen suddenly felt extra absurd.

All of a sudden, it felt to me that none of this mattered anymore. Somehow, all the obsession I had carried for the past five years loosened its grip because of those three lines of messages.

I wiped my face and messaged back.

[Okay. I will.]

Then, I called my mother.

"Hello, Mom. About that arranged marriage with Scott Henderson in seven days… I'll do it."

After I hung up, I fell onto the bed, utterly spent. I had warned myself not to dwell on the past, but my mind and my heart were not in agreement.

I could not help but reminisce about the past. Memories of my first meeting with Gerald resurfaced in my mind. It was Elena who introduced me to him.

He had been in black athletic wear that day. When he scored a three-pointer on the basketball court, those young women screamed.

To my surprise, he came straight to me and took the half-drunk bottle from my hand. He turned toward Elena and asked, "Who's this friend of yours? Why haven't I seen her before?"

Who would not be stirred by an entrance like that? I swooned, falling hopelessly for him.

For him, I fell out with my family. For him, I was willing to be his secret lover for five years without making things official.

Later, I learned that his move during our first meeting was not unique to me. He had said the same thing to every young woman he met.

…

"What? You're getting married?"

Three days after I split up with Gerald, Elena invited me out for a meal. She had not expected to hear my news.

She sat beside me, worry written all over her face.

"Nyssa, I don't know who you've kept hidden for the past five years, but you can't just marry some random guy because of one piece of trash!"

I smiled. "I'm not that delicate, alright? This marriage is something I've thought through carefully. And he's not just some random guy. He's…well, an old family connection. We just haven't seen each other in years."

I was not lying. It was not so much an arranged marriage with Scott as it was fulfilling the childhood promise our parents once made for us half-jokingly.

If Gerald had not come into the picture halfway, I probably would have become Mrs. Henderson years ago.

The worry in Elena's eyes did not fade. She really was concerned about me.

I reached over and pinched her cheek. "Alright, don't be upset. You're going to be my bridesmaid."

"Bridesmaid?"

The private room door swung open. Gerald strolled in carelessly with another new date.

Just like he had always claimed, anyone could be his girlfriend. Well, anyone but me.

He stopped in the middle of the room, scanning the faces until his gaze landed on mine.

"Who's getting married?" he asked.

I caught Elena before she could answer and brushed it off. "It's nothing, Gerald. What brings you here?"

The woman behind him piped up innocently, "I asked Gerald to bring me. I wanted to meet his family and friends. I'm Belinda Campbell. Nice to meet you."

Maybe it was just me, but her glance at me carried a sharp, unspoken challenge.

Elena, oblivious as ever, grabbed Belinda and pulled her over to pick songs for the karaoke.

Meanwhile, Gerald sank into the seat beside me. In the dim light, his glass of liquor swirled lazily in his hand. "Starting to date now?"

I shot him a side glance. "Since when do you care about my love life?"

He chuckled under his breath, then leaned closer and studied me with an amused look.

"Think of it as a follow-up service. If you can't find a boyfriend, I can help scout one out for you. Don't worry, he won't be like me.

"At the very least, he won't make you deliver condoms while running a fever or drag an endless parade of women in front of you. He'll actually be faithful. How does that sound?"

My hand tightened around the glass.

So, it was not that he did not know those things hurt me. He just did not care. Or maybe he only thought of me as a joke.

I tipped back the drink in one gulp, then turned to him with a bright smile.

"It's okay, Gerald. I'm getting married."

…

The room went silent as awkwardness permeated every corner.

Gerald's brows knitted, his dark eyes stormy.

In a disgruntled tone, he said, "Nyssa Bennett, I don't like that kind of joke."

I smiled at him. I was in no rush to explain anything to him.

Just then, Belinda walked over with a drink. Whether on purpose or not, she stumbled, spilling the entire glass down my front.

She covered her mouth in mock horror, voice dripping with sweetness as she said, "Oh, no! I'm so clumsy! Are you alright?"

Gerald's face darkened, and he shot me a cold glare. "It's not your fault. She's the one in the way."

"Gerald, what are you even saying? How is this Nyssa's fault?"

Elena stepped in front of me, shielding me with her body.