Rebel POV
It’s a rare day off for me. I’m so excited that I make myself some brisket sandwiches, with the leftover brisket I made earlier in the week. I like smoking my own meats, but my family thinks it’s not refined enough for their social status. Being a Beta’s daughter, I have a very healthy appetite. I train privately with my dad, so I’m strong. I’m not allowed to go to the training grounds, because my family is embarrassed of me. Even though I am strong and I can fight and defend myself, I don’t look the part. While other she-wolves are thin and beautiful, with soft curves and still muscular, I am chubby. At 5’9” and 180lbs, I’m not exactly fitting the mold. But that is okay with me. I like to work out, but I also like food. Both are essential, and while apparently, I don’t have the wolf gene that would keep me looking fit, I figure there is a reason why I am built this way, and no one has been smart enough to figure it out yet.
Aside from how I look, the main reason I’m not allowed to go to the training grounds and train with everyone else, is because I’m my father’s dirty little secret. He is embarrassed that I am a love child. The illegitimate daughter of the former beta of the Ironclaw pack. His reputation takes precedence over the life of his first daughter. Of course, he doesn’t treat my half-sister Rachel that way. She got to go to school and make friends, learn alongside classmates, go to outings with the groups and all other things pups get to do when they are young. My father taught me to read, write, and basic math. He gave me books to read and told me to learn what I could from them.
In any event, I want to play my guitar and have a solo picnic today. Roxie, my wolf, needs to be let out. I don’t get to let her out often because my family want to keep up appearances. It’s sad really, but I don’t let it get me down. I just have to fake it, til I make it. I pack up the brisket sandwiches, a couple of salted caramel brownies, some strawberries, a few bottles of water into my backpack, and make my way to the woods. Roxie wants to go to the lake today and I agree with her. It’s a beautiful day, and sunlight, fresh air and good food sounds like a perfect afternoon for us both.
“Damn right it is!” Roxie snickers. She loves our days off. We only get one day a month. Otherwise, we are cooking, cleaning and training. My stepmother, Jules, well, she doesn’t like me at all. Before my father Harris met his fated mate, he had been in a relationship with my mother. She died giving birth to me and my dad wasn’t about to abandon me, so he brought me home. When I was two years old, my dad met his fated mate, my stepmother. She wanted me gone, but my father said no and said he was responsible for me. Not that he loved me or wanted me. He was just responsible for me. Of course, then my dad and Jules had my half-sister, Rachel. Both my dad and Jules dote on Rachel. My dad felt a sense of responsibility for me but didn’t really want me. Jules took complete advantage of my dad’s feelings towards me. She said I was unwanted, but her mate was obligated to take care of me, so she was going to allow me to stay in the attic and I would have to help the omegas with cooking and cleaning. In addition to that, I had to attend to my sister Rachel and be at her beck and call. At 10 years old, my room was giving to my sister to use as a walk-in closet. My dad spent thousands of dollars to have a custom designed closet installed for her. My things were chucked in boxes and sent to the attic. Since then, the attic became my space.
My father called me his ward instead of his daughter if anyone ever saw me, so he didn’t have to acknowledge me or provide me with the same benefits or privileges that my sister received. Over the years, my sister regarded me as the help instead of her sister. Jules would always treat me like garbage. She would insult and belittle me. She always made it a point to try and make me feel unwanted. As a result, Rachel started treating me the same way. I used to pray to the moon goddess to take me away from here, but my prayers fell on deaf ears, so I adapted. I stayed out of Jules and Rachel’s way. I stayed hidden, since I was my family’s disgrace. I trained with my dad every morning in private so he wouldn’t be embarrassed to show his chubby, illegitimate and unwanted daughter in public. I appealed to my dad to have one day off a month to get rest and fresh air, and he conceded, much to my stepmother’s displeasure. I took my day of solitude every month and it has helped to keep me balanced and find peace to continue for another month of working from morning until the late evenings.
So, here I am. At the lake, having lunch by myself, strumming my guitar, and enjoying my peace. ‘Rebel, I don’t think we are alone.’ Roxie said. She was fidgeting anxiously. ‘Do you sense danger Rox?’ I put my guitar down and start looking around and listening for any sounds. Suddenly, an amazing scent hits my nostrils. It smells like fresh cut grass and cedar. It’s a wonderful smell, and I turn around to see who the scent belongs to, and I see Alpha Cullen. Then Roxie says loudly, “MATE!”
A smile plays on my lips. It’s the first time I have felt excited with anticipation. My fated mate! The moon goddess made Alpha Cullen my fated mate. I used to hear Rachel say how handsome is he and that he is kind to everyone. She has pictures of him in her room. I know she daydreams all the time about him. Rachel has been vying for his attention, but she doesn’t turn 18 years old until next week. Meanwhile, I’m 23 years old, and because I’m never allowed out and my only day off is usually spent in solitude, I have never found my mate. I don’t think the pictures do him justice. He is very attractive.
I read in an old book my father gave me and heard from the Omegas that have mates, that fated mates are the moon goddess’ will and that they are the other half of our souls. Our mates are supposed to complete the other’s life and complement each other. It’s supposed to be an unconditional love. I can believe it too. My father may not love or want me, but I have seen how he looks at Jules. It’s unconditional. When I was younger, I used to dream about having that kind of love. To be cherished, WANTED. I never thought I would be either, so imagine my surprise that Alpha Cullen turns out to be my mate.
I stepped forward, but realized quickly, he doesn’t look as excited as I am. In fact, he looks like a mix between disgusted and angry. ‘Roxie? Are you sure he is our mate? He doesn’t look happy to see us.’
‘Yes! He’s our mate! Go to him Rebel! I want our mate!’ she yipped.
I move to walk towards him. Just as I take a step, he says, “Stop. This must be a mistake. I could never be mated to someone, like…you.”
My hope and brief moment of excitement and anticipation just crash landed on rocky terrain. He isn't happy to be mated to us. He doesn’t want us. Roxie starts howling with sorrow. My eyes start to water. “Someone like me?” I ask.
“Yes, I mean, look at you. No Alpha wants a Luna that looks like you to be their mate. You don’t look refined, your clothes are old, not to mention you are not attractive. Maybe if you lost weight, then you could be passable. The moon goddess made a mistake. There is no way I can accept you as my mate. What is your name?” He sneers.
“Rebel Lawson” I reply. I know the rejection is coming. I’ve heard rejection is rare but painful. With my lips trembling and tears that sting my eyes, I brace for the impact that is coming.
“Let’s get this over with, I have things to do. Just so you understand, I need a strong and BEAUTIFUL Luna by my side. I, Alpha Cullen Niles, of the Ironclaw Pack, reject you, Rebel Lawson, as my mate and Luna.”
Instantly, my chest feels like it is ripped open and gutted. The pain is the worst I’ve ever felt. But I refuse to show pain in front of Alpha Cullen. I stay rigid and force my face not to react. Roxie is howling in desperation, because she wants her mate and he just rejected us, causing her immense pain too. The sooner I accept, the sooner we can move on. “I, Rebel Lawson, accept your rejection.” It was like a final death blow. I see Alpha Cullen grab his chest, taking deep breaths. Then after a couple of minutes he stood straight up. I still haven’t moved. Bearing all the pain until Roxie and I can be alone. “You will not mention this to anyone, do you understand?” As much pain as I was in, I couldn’t muster up the strength to say yes, so I just nodded. “Good, I can’t have people knowing I was mated to such a she-wolf.” With that, he turned and walked away.
I turned and went back to the lake, sat down next to my guitar and then the barriers crumbled. I held on to my chest and cried for hours. Roxie feeling weak from the rejection, retreated to the back of my mind. She was still talking to me, but it was much quieter. I felt so incredibly alone. Fated mates were supposed to love each other, no matter what. He was supposed to protect, cherish and love me. However, I never felt more unwanted and alone.
Rebel POV
Two months. It’s been two months since I was rejected. The first week was the worst. My sister was getting ready to turn 18 years old that week and I had a lot of things thrown on my plate to complete. Hemming her birthday dress, preparing the menu for the dinner, making a cake, decorating the house, and more, all needed to get completed. I was barely able to make it home the day Alpha Cullen rejected me. He just left and didn’t spare me a second glance. Painfully, I had walked over two miles in my weaken state to get back to my room in the attic. I cried more when I got there and then slept later than normal.
My father saw my state, and while he didn’t care what caused me to look so sickly, at least he didn’t push me to train that morning and instead said to sleep until it was time to do the housework. That morning, I got a needed three hours of extra sleep. Even though I still felt weak, I came downstairs to start my day in the kitchen.
Since then, my only day off has been spent in the attic by myself. My sister turned 18, got her wolf, enjoyed everyone’s attention, and I stayed in the shadows. The only thing she didn’t find was her fated mate. I already know that when she finds her mate, that her mate won’t reject her. He will want her, cherish her, love her. The crazy part is she treats everyone like they are beneath her and yet everyone still wants to please her. At this point, I just tolerate her. I’m resigned about my future. Second chance mates are rare from what I remember reading, and because I don’t get to be seen in public, I doubt I’ll have a chance to meet someone, even if the moon goddess wanted to show me kindness. At least Alpha Cullen didn’t show up for Rachel’s birthday. It saved me additional pain of having to stand in the same room with him and the pain I was going through at the time.
The thought of the rejection and the very real possibility of not having a mate has been depressing me. Roxie is slowly coming back around though. As the pain of the rejection eased, she started coming through and talking again. Although, some of her sass has been lost. I don’t blame her. Some of my fire has been extinguished too. I don’t feel the same anymore. That day broke me. Every good or normal thing I’ve had in my life has always been taken from me. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that my mate didn’t want me either. With women like my sister or all the pretty she-wolves in the pack, well, I assume they are all prettier than me, who would want a frumpy and chubby she-wolf as a mate?
I push the thoughts aside and make my way downstairs. As soon as I come down, my stepmother looks at me with a sense of urgency on her face and a big smile. Something must have happened.
“Rebel! Good thing you’re here, I was about to start hunting you down.” she sneers at me and looks at me like she has something sour in her mouth. I sigh, “What do you need Jules?”
“We are having a very special guest for dinner. Alpha Cullen has decided to take a chosen mate. He wants to have dinners with women he finds worthy of being his Luna! He will be here tonight for Rachel, so I need an exceptional dinner prepared for tonight!”
I suddenly feel lightheaded, and the room starts spinning around me. “Alpha Cullen, here, tonight?” A chosen mate? As if my heart couldn’t break any further, my fated mate, the one who rejected me, is coming here to have dinner with my father and stepmother, for Rachel. Not me. I didn’t think salt could be so deeply rubbed into my wounds right now, but apparently, it can. Does the moon goddess take pleasure in hurting me?
Without realizing it, my stepmother is in my face, “REBEL! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!” I was in a daze, and she snapped me back to reality. “Yes Jules, I’m sorry. I will have something special prepared.” I say to her holding back the tears that threaten to fall.
“Yes, you will. Once everything is prepared and ready to serve, you will leave. I don’t need you staining our family with your presence. Go out the back door and don’t come back until midnight to give Alpha Cullen enough time to enjoy Rachel’s company and leave.”
Just then Rachel, my half-sister, walks in. Having heard the last thing Jules said to me, she starts laughing. “If it were up to me, you would be gone indefinitely. Alpha Cullen will fall madly in love with me. When he makes me his Luna, I will be sure you are banished from the pack. I can’t have you staining my reputation. The fat bastard child of the pack’s beta.”
Being called fat doesn’t hurt nearly as much as being called a bastard. Even though it stung, I kept my face neutral. My eyes may have lost some of its light in recent months, but I’ll be damned if I let her see my hurt. “At least I won’t be who the Alpha settles for a chosen mate, Rachel. He isn’t patient enough to wait for his fated mate, so instead he will settle for a chosen mate. Does that make you feel cherished?” I couldn’t help it. He did wait but didn’t cherish me, and now he is settling for someone else because of looks. Rachel face almost contorts with anger. Actually, it looks funny. I wasn’t aware her face could twist so unnaturally.
“At least I will be mated and marked. Even if not by Alpha Cullen, then by someone of rank. How do you compare Rebel? You are a fat bastard child. Not even your own family wants to recognize you and only sees you as a stain on our reputation. You will always be what you are, a servant in your father’s home, and a servant to me no less!”
“ENOUGH!” My father enters the room. He seems upset about the scene unfolding. I think he is going to say something to Rachel about calling me a bastard or a servant, but of course, I was wrong. “REBEL! FOR ONCE CAN YOU STOP ESCALATING THINGS WITH YOUR SISTER!” he roars at me. I look at him dumbstruck. I’m defending myself from the insults being hurled at me and he is coming to her aid. “Alpha Cullen is coming here tonight to meet with us and get to know Rachel. This is a huge opportunity not just for Rachel but our family. Could you please get started with getting things cleaned and the dinner started.”
“You mean your family. Clearly, I’ve never been wanted here. Not even by my own father.” I said calmly. I turn on my heel and walk to the kitchen before the tears I’ve been holding back come down and before they continue their verbal assault on me.
****
I’m finishing up in the kitchen. Everything needs to be ready by the time Alpha Cullen gets here. He is supposed to get here by six o’clock in the evening. It’s now about five o'clock and the Tarducken I put in the oven is almost done. I am paring it with Maple Balsamic Roasted Brussel Sprouts and Mushroom Risotto with White Truffle Oil. I made some homemade bread rolls as well. For dessert, I made a French Apple Tart with home vanilla bean ice cream and caramel syrup to top it off. Since I was not allowed to enjoy my creation for dinner, despite the hard work I put in, I gave instructions to the omegas that were in charge of plating and serving everyone for dinner. I also explained the way I wanted them to present the dessert. I’m not sure if Alpha Cullen will want coffee or tea, but I leave both ready to brew.
I start preparing a meal I could take with me tonight. Since I won’t be at dinner, I need to make sure I eat something while I’m out. Otherwise, I will not have eaten for the day. I only woke up, got insulted and belittled, only to work the entire day on getting things ready for dinner. I make pork shoulder sandwiches, grabbed some chips, peanut butter crackers, fruit, chocolate chip cookies and some bottles of water, packed my backpack and grabbed a blanket, jacket, flashlight and book.
Rachel walks into the kitchen as I am checking everything once over before leaving. “Why are you still here! You need to leave! What if Alpha Cullen comes early? Goddess Rebel, could you be any stupider!” she sneered at me.
“Rachel, I am making sure everything is ready before I leave. You of all people should appreciate the effort I put in today for you.” I said calmly. “Now that I have, believe me, I am leaving. I don’t want to be here anyway.” With that, I turn my heel and face the omegas, “Are there any questions before I leave?” I ask them as I am grabbing my backpack.
“No Ms. Rebel. We got it from here. Thank you so much for preparing this dinner. I don’t think any of us would be able to pull off this skill level of cooking.”
“You’re very welcome, ladies. Best of luck tonight. Good night.” With that, I turn to leave. I don’t bother to say goodbye to Rachel, Jules or my so-called father. They don’t want me anyway.
Rebel POV
As I’m walking through the forest and far away from the house, I start thinking about things I could have done differently, but honestly, the odds have been stacked against me since birth. When my father took me in and found his fated mate, there was never a situation where things would have turned out differently for me. I’m resolved about my life. I only hope that Alpha Cullen chooses someone other than Rachel to be his Luna. That way, she can’t banish me from the pack. I don’t have anywhere else to go and I don’t think I would survive as a rogue.
Roxie is still hurt and angry about the rejection. Not that I blame her. ‘We were supposed to be his mate. Moon goddess doesn’t make mistakes Rebel. Since our ex-mate spat in the goddess’ face by rejecting us, she will make sure he pays the price.’ she says determinedly. ‘I agree Roxie. Where does that leave us though?’
‘I am sure the goddess will not forget us Rebel. We just need to see what she has planned.’
We make it to the clearing in the forest. It’s starting to get dark, so I don’t stay completely in the open. I try to stay in the cover of darkness by sitting a little more in the woods than the clearing. I’ve had to fight rogues before. Since I’m tired and by myself, I don’t want to be spotted, if possible. ‘Roxie, how about after we eat, we go for a run? I know I haven’t taken you in some time because of everything we are going through, but I think it will be good for both of us.’
‘Yes please! We only get one day off a month, and I haven’t been out in the last two months. I need to let some of this tension out.’
‘I’m sorry Roxie. I know this has been hard for you too.’ I tell her with remorse. ‘Don’t you dare apologize Rebel! Alpha Cullen did this to us. That bastard didn’t deserve us. I’m glad he’s not our mate now. It would have ended in disaster.’ She tells me.
I finish eating part of the food I packed. I left the other part of the food for after, when Roxie is done running. She may be chubby like me, but she is fast and wonderful. She is faster than most wolves I’ve seen running through the pack. She also expends her energy that much quicker and gets hungry that much faster.
I stand behind a tree and strip down. It’s cold outside tonight. I fold my clothes to put them in my backpack and pull a shift. I see Roxie’s paws hit the ground. She picks up the backpack and takes off further into the forest. Feeling the wind in our fur felt good. For the first time in months, we both felt carefree and happy. We both really needed this moment. It felt…normal.
Roxie had run for about an hour, and still had energy. I felt myself let go enough to enjoy the moment and not thinking about the future or what would happen to me. It was a moment of bliss. Bliss that was too short lived. Roxie came to a dead stop and I was brought back to reality. ‘Roxie! What happened? What’s wrong? Did we stray too far from the pack land borders?’ Then it hit me. My nostrils flared as the scent of salted citrus and driftwood filled my senses. OH, NO!
Roxie whimpered, lowered her head and her ears pushed back in fear. She said the least expected thing I ever thought I would hear her say again in our lifetime.
‘Mate.” She whispered.
Panicked, I urge Roxie, ‘Let’s get out of here! We are not strong enough to handle a second rejection!’ Roxie pivots to take off in the opposite direction when we hear him.
“MATE! STOP WHERE YOU ARE!”
Shit, that sexy as fuck voice is an Alpha voice. Why me? Why another Alpha? This is going to be painful. I already know it and there is nothing I can do.
“Please don’t go. I may be a feared Alpha, but not to you. Never you.” His words were sincere. But then again, he hasn’t actually seen me yet. I’m still in wolf form and Roxie is a beautiful wolf. Her fur is much like my hair, black with auburn undertones and she has my eyes, beautiful emerald green. He may think I’m something special now, but it won’t last. Both Roxie and I both know it. We huff lightly. ‘Let’s just get this over with Roxie. Maybe we can ask him to hold off until after we eat, so we at least have some strength.’
Roxie remains quiet. She’s definitely nervous and so am I. I pull a shift with my back still turned to my mate. I thought I heard him suck in a breath. I guess he thinks my backside is disgusting too. My shoulders slump and I lower my head, even though I’m not facing him. I say barely above a whisper, “If you don’t mind, I would like to put some clothes on before we speak.”
“Of course mate. I’m not going anywhere.” Does he sound excited? It’s almost like I can hear him smile as he speaks. Well, I’m sure it will be short lived. I finish putting my clothes back on and put my backpack on my shoulder. I take a deep breath and before I step out I tell Roxie, ‘It’s okay Roxie, we can handle this. We are going to be fine.’
Bracing myself, I square my shoulders and step around the tree and face my new mate. When I see him, my eyes widen. My goddess, he is the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. I didn’t realize a man could look that good. He is all broad shoulders, muscles, and charisma. His hair is a little lighter than chestnut brown and his eyes are the most crystal blue I have ever seen. His skin is a light caramel tan. Much more attractive than Alpha Cullen. You can tell he works outside a lot. He has that rugged, working man look about him that is seriously sexy. I don’t know who this Alpha is, but goddess, my core is clenching at the thought of exploring the body of the man standing before me. ‘That’s not the only thing that’s making us hot and bothered.’ Roxie surprisingly says as she forces my line of sight to his very obvious bulge in his shorts. Apparently, seeing our mate is making her sass come back and it’s making me feel relief. ‘Don’t get too happy Rox, a man this handsome is likely to reject us. Let’s get this over with, okay?’ Roxie whimpers in my mind, because she knows what’s coming.
My mate, is looking at me intently. It almost feels indecent the way he keeps looking at me. It’s making me really self-conscious. I instinctively wrap my arms around myself and look down. “Would you mind waiting a few minutes for me to get some food in my system? My wolf has been running for well over an hour and she burns off energy faster than most wolves. We would just like to gain some strength before you reject us.”
“Reject you? Why the hell would I do that mate?” He looks at me like I’ve grown two heads.
“I know I’m not Luna material or beautiful. You don’t have to pretend Alpha.” I look down again. I can’t stand to look at this incredibly handsome man, knowing he will not want me.
Carefully, he steps closer to me lifting my gaze to meet his with his finger. I feel little jolts of electricity go straight to my core before he speaks, “First, I don’t know why you think you are not beautiful or who made you believe that you are not beautiful, when you are fucking gorgeous. You’re the most the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life darling. Second, you are MY mate. That makes you MY Luna. No one will dare challenge this fact or they forfeit their life.”
One, oh my goddess his southern draw! That has to be the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. Two, I look at his eyes and I don’t see any lies coming from them. He seems to be sincere. ‘Roxie, what do you think?’ She’s great at sniffing out lies, it’s a gift the moon goddess gave her, so I want her opinion on what she thinks too. ‘He’s telling the truth Rebel. Not to mention his southern accent is hot and do you see his body? Yummy!’ I inwardly roll my eyes. She has always been a flirtatious wolf. ‘Focus Rox!’ I tell her exasperated.
‘Oh, believe me, I’m focused!’ She salivates and wiggles her eyebrows. I shake my head and turn my attention back to my mate. “So Alpha, what are you doing all the way over here in Ironclaw?”
He raises an eyebrow at me, god that’s a sexy look, “Darling, you are in Blackstone pack.”
“We are in Blackstone Pack?” I say thinking once again, my wonderful wolf has run too far again. Then the realization hits me. “Wait. You said you are the Alpha. We are in Blackstone. You are the Alpha? As in Alpha Austin?” I say my voice climbing a little higher with each question. My eyes widen and I start to panic. ‘Roxie! This is the meanest and cruelest Alpha of the southwestern region! He’s our mate?!’ Roxie rolls over in my mind practically purring, it didn’t take long for her to shake the fear. ‘Yes Rebel, and HE wants US. How blessed are we?’ she is almost purring the minx.
Amused, my mate smirks at me, “Where did you think you were little mate?”
“Clearly, not Blackstone but my pack, Ironclaw.” I said. Instantly, his expression hardened. “You are from Ironclaw? Your Alpha is Alpha Cullen?”
Why does that matter? “Yes, he is my Alpha, among other things, unfortunately.” Trying not to feel bitter about the rejection. Alpha Austin is way better looking than Alpha Cullen. So far, he hasn’t treated me badly at the sight of me either, so Alpha Cullen can kick rocks.
“What’s your name darling?” He asks me like if he is trying to decide something. “Rebel Lawson, did you change your mind about rejecting me because I’m from Ironclaw?” I ask. He says he wants me, so I don’t think he will reject me. Though when Alpha Cullen asked me for my name, it was to do precisely that, so maybe my mate is planning to do the same now.
“You seem like you have decided I am going to reject you any moment now. Why is that Rebel? What happened to you?” He asks as if he is catching on to the fact that I’m skeptical about him.
I sigh. I might as well rip the band aid. The sooner it’s known, the sooner he will feel the relief of not being the only one to have rejected me. “You are not mate first mate. I met my mate two months ago, and as soon as he saw me, he rejected me.” I saw his eyes darken. He was clearly upset. Who knows why? He wanted to know what happened to me. Now he knows and he’s upset with me?
“First, I’m glad he rejected you Rebel. Because now you are mine, and I’m not only happy, but I’m damn ecstatic you’re mine. Second, whoever your first mate was, he was a dumbass not to see how perfect you are. Either way, it’s his loss and my gain sweetheart. Was he part of Ironclaw?”
I stare at him, completely shocked. ‘Rebel, I told you, HE wants US. I can’t wait to meet his wolf. I bet he is as sexy as Austin.’ She’s purring in my mind with doe eyes, looking at our mate. Yeah, she’s a total minx and is already decidedly in love with this man. Apparently, she doesn’t waste time. He says he’s ecstatic I’m his. That’s never a word I thought someone would use to describe being with me. Not when everything ever said to me in my life was the complete opposite. “Yes, he is part of Ironclaw. Actually, he was the one who said I wasn’t Luna material.”
He looked down, shaking his head with his hands positioned sexily on his hips. With a smirk on his face, he asks, “Why would he tell you that you aren’t Luna material? Was your mate Alpha Cullen?” He chuckles.
I look down at the ground and in a very low voice I replied, “Yes.” I looked up slowly and saw rage rolling off of Alpha Austin’s aura.
