My fingers hovered over my screen after I typed his name out. Saying goodbye to Pierce was not an easy feat to accomplish, yet this was the only way to go. Or was I supposed to ask him for an explanation? Beg him to not leave me? Just to further humiliate myself?

I couldn't fool myself anymore.

I wished I could wave a hand and make everything right for the three of us. I placed my hand on my flat stomach and sighed. I hated myself for all the times I let myself dream of a perfect life with Pierce. The life we could have with the child I was carrying if only he gave us a chance.

Maybe it was best if we didn't end things. I could wait for him to show up, we would talk it out and come to an agreement. I could not erase Pierce from my life completely. Even if I tried, and with the baby, and my finances...why did things have to get so complicated?

I had to be brave. If not for me, then for the child I carried. They deserved to have a life filled with love and staying with Pierce would create a rift in its life.

With shaky fingers I typed out the rest of my text and hit send before I gave myself a chance to overanalyze or change my mind about ending things, and then I blocked his line.

It felt like I was mourning the loss of a family member as I hurriedly shoved my clothes into suitcases stopping a few times as my sobs wracked my body. But even when all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and let my emotions loose, I kept on with my task. I did not want Pierce or his PA showing up at the apartment before I had time to leave.

A majority of my clothes were fanciful dresses and designer shoes that he had gifted me throughout the time we were together. Now when I looked at dresses that he peeled off me, I felt nothing but pain.

I picked up the glass figurine he had gotten me from Paris, portraying a blonde woman with clothes flying in the wind. When he had given me the six inch statue, he told me that it had reminded him of me. My heart had soared at the thoughtful gift when he had given it to me all those months ago. Now I realized that when he said it reminded him of me, it wasn't really me. It was Tami.

I placed it gingerly on the entry table when I was ready to leave. He could give it to the real owner, Tami. Along with the apartment. I wanted to get away from it. From everything that reminded me of romantic cuddles on the nights he overstayed, or compliments thrown out at random, the sex...I needed EVERYTHING concerning Pierce erased from my life.

It was ironic that the memories I was now trying to get away from were the things that gave me hope that Pierce and I could be better, become something more. In my blind love and naivety, I overlooked the fact that we only ever met intimately in this apartment. I had never been to his real home, nor did I know anything about his personal life other than the scraps he would throw me. All this time the focus had been keeping me a secret. The rumors flew but that was all they were.

All I was.

 Even though I was sure my mind was made up, I hesitated at the doorway waiting. For what? For Pierce to pop out of the elevator and order me me in after declaring love to me or... atleast tell me that I still mattered. But I knew he wasn't coming. Tami had him wrapped around her finger. I shut the door with a final thud, the sound chipping further at my heart.

* * *

I was shaken out of my numb state by the cab driver. "We've reached ma'am" he said, sounding irritated.

I looked outside to find the stairs that led to the small apartment my family called home. I thanked him after he helped me get my things out of his car, and paid him, adding a generous tip.    

I hesitated briefly in front of the apartment before I knocked. Lily answered, brightening when she saw it was me. The warm hug that enveloped me, made me feel safer. Loved. "Hey little sis" I said fondly, into her hair.

It reeked of medicine and cleaning products. I felt guilt for not visiting often. The money I sent did not make up for my presence.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her brows furrowing as she took in my face.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold." I lied, forcing a smile into my weary-looking face. I followed quietly behind her into the kitchen and dumped my bags.

"Don't be mad at me." she started, putting on her best regretful face. I did not look forward to whatever she was going to say but at least I was sitting. "We had a hike in rent a while back, and I didn't want to tell you about it, because I didn't want you to worry too much. So things aren't as rosy as I made you believe."

"So what you're saying is, you're back to living hand to mouth again?" I rubbed my eyes wearily. "You should have told me, Lily. I would have sent more money or something-"

"I didn't want you stressing about us. Mom did not want me telling you either. You should not be stuck constantly worrying about our well being" She defended.

"That's the dumbest thing you've said. It's not for you to decide what I worry about or not." And mom wasn't the best person to follow advice from, given her state. I led the way to mom's room but found her asleep, with her nurse, Samantha by the bed, reading a book.

"Myra!" She whisper-yelled when she spotted me, and rose gingerly from her seat to join us. We all strolled back to the kitchen.

"How is she doing?"

"Could be better honestly. Her episodes are getting more frequent." She glanced at Lily. "I already told Lily that I think it would be good if she was moved to a long term facility."

Lily huffed, "You promised you wouldn't mention that, she just came home! Look Myra, mum is perfectly fine where she is, she just needs better meds."

"Every time we've upgraded her meds, her body adapts to it shortly after, and then she gets even worse. She would do better in a hospice."

This time I could not help but side with Lily and her fears. "Her care won't be personal in a hospice, she'll just be one of the heads out of many." I argued.

"not to mention they won't be able to notice the changes that we do, they don't know her well enough." Lily continued.

Samantha sighed then grabbed onto my hand and pulled me to her, "I promise you, your mother will be well cared for, and this isn't just about her, it's about your sister. She's holed up in here all the time, don't you want the burden of taking care of your mum to be lifted from her shoulders?" I glanced at Lily who was now staring daggers at Sam. For all her feistiness, she couldn't hurt a fly even if she tried. It pained me to think her entire life was wrapped around our mother.

I frowned, resigned. "Okay, we'll do it."

"Myra!"

"Not a word from you, I'm still mad you kept all this away from me."

She chewed on her lips, guilt written across her face. "There's actually more." Oh God "He's getting out of jail next month."

The words forced me back into the past: his menacing glare. The suffocating presence, silent sobs. My hands over my sister's eyes to hide her from his yellow toothed smile as he pummeled our mother.

My chest constricted and the urge to run filled me. I stayed frozen in my seat though, having a crazed fear that any sudden movement would summon him.

Sam left the room, before I was able to speak. "How did you know?"

"We got a call from their correctional facility,  they said he would be getting out next month on good behavior."

"Can't they tell it's just an act, that man is a narcissistic son of a bitch, he could hurt us, Lily." I explained like she didn't already know. We had moved states just to make it harder for him to find us. And if he found out about what we did... "We have to move." I said urgently.

We needed money. I had enough money saved to cover my mother's medical bills for a few months if things didn't go haywire but It would take a miracle to solve all our problems at this rate. It felt worse not having Pierce by my side, This was the loneliest I had felt in years.  Maybe I had made a mistake leaving. 

"Look this way Myra."

 "Miss Myra can you smile this way!"

 "I love your dress, was it made by a popular designer?"

"Please, one more photo Myra!" the photographers shouted as we walked the red carpet. Camera lights flashed repeatedly but I was used to it by now. My nerves were more active than usual that night. Seeing as it was my first outing since the text. I hated to admit it but not hearing from him had me worried and battling my own resolve. Especially since there were rumors circulating that he would attend this event.

My sister tugged at my arm, gaining my attention. "Is it always like this?" she asked, awe written on her face. I was glad I had decided to make her my plus one for the party that night.

"Not always, but this is a double event. We're celebrating the birthday of the CEO of the label and the success of our new TV series." I explained, pushing thoughts of Pierce to the back of my mind. I did not want to be there, but Lily's presence made me feel me better. A total mind improvement would be hearing that Pierce had declined the invitation.

I would have, but I could not risk Lancaster's wrath. He on the other hand, could do whatever.

"Look at the camera Myra." A photographer called and I hugged Lily closer to my side.

After we had taken enough photos we moved into the big dome. The room was elegantly decorated, with flowers hanging from the ceiling in an ethereal flow. I tried to find Hannah in the crowded room with my eyes.

"There!" Lily called, pointing towards the bar area. There I saw Hannah, speaking with a veteran author, no doubt discussing the possibility of turning the woman's book into a series. Her husband stood diligently beside her, saying nothing. As she waved us over, the author saw an opening and hurried away before Hannah noticed.

After a quick hug, she shook her head subtly answering the question on my face. Pierce had not arrived yet. There was still a chance that he would not show. I breathed out ignoring the pang in my chest. It wasn't that I missed him, I just needed to SEE him. It was driving me crazy that he had not tried to reach out after my text. Yes, I blocked him, but this was Pierce, if he wanted to find me he would.

It proved what I already knew; I wasn't a priority right now. Not with Tami back in the picture. She gave me a knowing look when I reached her side. Hannah still thought it was wise that I told Pierce of my pregnancy.

"If he insists you get an abortion, then don't. It's your body, your baby. But leaving him in the dark is going to bite you in the ass, Myra." She warned, after I told her my final decision. I would not be changing my mind, and I let her know before I made her swear to not breathe a word about my baby to a soul.

"About time you arrived." Damien, Hannah's husband, said as he crushed me in a bear hug. "Maybe i can actually have fun at these things,"

"Oh don't be a spoilsport." Hannah retorted. "We had a deal. One night here and I do whatever you want for a week." They bickered while I scanned the crowd, my heart skipping when they landed on anyone that looked remotely like him.

And then, in the middle of a small crowd I saw him. Pierce was still as mesmerizing as the first day I had met him. Dressed immaculately in a dark business suit worn over a crisp blue shirt, he towered over the men in the room effortlessly, if not by height, then by his imposing and intimidating presence.

My eyes landed at the woman next to him.

Of course, she was here too. Tami had her hand in his and was smiling pleasantly, her beautiful dark blue dress matching his suit perfectly. A beautiful couple to every eye.

I could feel my heart breaking into a million pieces again, but I forced my eyes away from them before my calm exterior would crack. I reminded myself that my sister was present. I was in public. Hannah gave me a sympathetic look, and I nodded with a smile. I was fine.

I tried not to think about the fact that all I got from Pierce at public events were little stolen looks.

About how he looked quite comfortable with Tami by his side.

I tried not to think about how humiliated I was feeling. He was probably happy that I had broken things off without him doing anything.

"Who is he, Myra?" Lily asked, awe written on her face.

"A ruthless son of a bitch." Hannah offered. My sister looked at me expectantly.

"A businessman, one of the many wealthy ones here tonight, Pierce Blackwood." I told her. That was all she needed to know about him.

"Is he one of your friends?"

"No kiddo, never has been, never will be." I had kept my relationship with Pierce a secret from my family, hoping to publicize it when we got serious. We never did, and I never mentioned it. There was no use to do so now.

"Don't call me kiddo." She scrunched up her nose in protest. Suddenly a large hand grabbed mine , startling me. Beautiful blue eyes attached to a well sculpted face stared down at me mischievously.

 "Adams!" I sighed in relief. Whatever stress I felt, I knew he would make me laugh it all away. Since Adams had met me during our audition for Gossip and dreams he had become a permanent fixture in my life. The type of friend I could call on if I ever needed a break from my life problems. "When did you show up?" I asked breathlessly.

"Just a second ago. Then I came in search of the most beautiful group of women. You look lovely, Myra." Adams whispered the last sentence, and drew me closer, his hand resting on my exposed back. "Hannah..." he added playfully.

"Nope" she answered, lifting a hand up. "You get the silent treatment for a whole month for missing the Lindsay interview."

"Help me." He begged, cracking me up. A familiar pair of eyes caught my attention. "I think Sarah's giving me the stink eye." I told him, and waved at her with a bright smile on my face.

She might have been watching me because of Pierce, and I did not want to feed her bitterness. I laughed in surprise when Adams swung his arms around my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

"She's angry because you snagged the most handsome man in the room tonight." Adams could not be described as delusional. With his towering height and lean physique, he was a absolute head turner, sadly the only person that had my attention tonight was Pierce.

"Lucky me, I guess." I joked my smile faltering.

"If anyone is lucky, it would be me. I get to stare at your beautiful face for the rest of the night." Color crept up my cheeks.

"What have I told you about trying out your pickup lines on me? I don't appreciate being a test subject."

He grinned and leaned into me, his head resting in the crook of my neck. "It's not a pickup line Myra. I mean every word." He whispered hoarsely.

I rolled my eyes. Adams got like this once in a while. It would last till he found some model or foreign speaking waitress to obsess over. I hoped it would happen sooner than later.

"I thought you said you didn't know him?" Lily asked with a frown on her face.

"Know who?"

"Pierce Blackwood." Adam raised a brow at me, and I flushed beside him. He had never brought it up while we talked but I was sure he had heard the rumors of my relationship with Pierce.

"I don't." I confirmed.

"Then why is he walking towards us?" My body went taut when Hannah's eyes widened in surprise, confirming what Lily had said. She looked at me with concern and then behind me. My heart pounded.

"Myra." A deep velvety voice called from behind me. A voice that had haunted me in my dreams and followed me like the plague.

Slowly I turned and my heart leapt into my throat. His dark gaze regarded me coolly, and all I could think of was the pleasure I would feel if this happened on another day. A day where Tami was just a spectre in his past.

"Pierce." His gaze  followed Adam's hand as he placed it back on my shoulder. I fought the urge to remove it. "Surprised to see you here."

"Can't miss em all" He said with a frown when he noticed I wasn't doing anything about the hand. I hoped his statement went unnoticed by the others.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Pierce." Adams said. Pierce made no move to respond, but stared at his hand like it could wither away from my shoulder. Adams slowly retrieved his arm.

Hannah noticed the awkwardness and stepped in quickly. "Pierce! It really is a surprise. I'm sure Lancaster will be glad to see you're here."

"Of course. I hope you're doing okay? I saw Myra at the hospital accompanying you for your tests."

"What?" Damien asked confused while my heart dropped in my chest. "What test, love?"

"She's fine." I butted in, hoping Pierce did not hear him. I could hear Hannah whispering in her husband's ear as I spoke. "It was nothing serious."

"I'm good Pierce. Thanks for asking." She confirmed with a smile. My heart slowed.  "So uhh Lancaster?"

"Funny you should mention him. He said something about needing to talk to you." Pierce looked directly at me and I realized that something was off.

"I'll go find him in a bit, thank you." I answered calmly.

"I'm heading in that direction, we might as well go together." Before I could process his action Pierce's hand grasped my arm tightly and pulled me. "Come along Myra, let's not keep the man waiting."