After our SATs, my childhood sweetheart coaxed me into giving him my virginity. In just one night, he went through half a box of protection. I thought it was physical attraction and that he was madly in love with me. Until one day, by accident, I saw the group chat between him and his friends.

[Congratulations to my boy for scoring his first win.]

[Rue can barely walk. Weren’t you a bit too rough?]

[Too rough? She’s tough. She can take it. I’m just getting some practice in, so I’ll know how to treat the school’s prettiest girl right in the future. If I mess her up, I’d actually feel bad.]

So all those years of being childhood sweethearts were nothing but a joke.

I changed my university application. From that moment on, he went south, and I went north. Our paths never crossed again.

I bit down on my lower lip, unable to believe what I was seeing.

The soreness and weakness in my body kept reminding me just how over the top Dean Abernathy had been last night. However, as it turned out, it had all been for someone else.

Messages kept going in the group chat.

[That’s our guy, smooth as ever! With the prettiest girl in class in his arms and the prettiest girl in school by his side… He’s living the dream. I’m so jealous.]

[Rue’s probably crying, right? She’s been pursuing you all these years, and in the end, she’s just a pastime to you.]

[I hope her tears don’t drown you, dude!]

[If she cries, she cries. Worst case, I’ll spend a little time coaxing her. I guarantee it won’t even take two days before she comes running back to me. It’s been years. You think I don’t know her by now? Listen up, Joanna will be my future wife. Don’t get it wrong… Sh*t! I think I forgot to log out of WhatsApp on computer!]

The bedroom door suddenly swung open. Dean strode in and roughly snatched the laptop away. He was in such a hurry that the screen slammed straight into my wrist. I lowered my head, silently clutching the throbbing pain.

He fumbled with the controls, and when he saw that WhatsApp was still on the login screen, waiting to be scanned, he visibly relaxed. Then, he tossed the laptop back onto the bed. Only then did he notice my red eyes.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

“I lost thirteen matches in a row,” I said numbly, forcing out an excuse. “I was about to win, too…”

The tears started falling anyway, salty and bitter. The flutter in my heart was nothing but my imagination.

The mattress dipped slightly beside me as Dean wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

He smiled and lightly flicked my nose. “It’s no big deal. Just you wait. Your boy’s gonna carry you next round!”

Excited, he pulled out his phone, ready to queue up a game with me, when he suddenly paused. Turning slightly, he used his lean back to block my view. Still, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. A message had come in from an avatar of a proud-looking tabby cat.

[Are you really going to Harbor City for university?]

Dean quickly put his phone away.

“Rue, my family needs me back. I’ll crush them for you next time.”

Like always, he reached out, intending to ruffle my hair. However, I tilted my head slightly, avoiding his touch. His long fingers hung awkwardly in midair.

“Be good. Don’t cry. I’ll help you out next time,” he said hastily before heading for the door.

I grabbed his arm, asking, “Do you really have to go?”

He paused for a moment. His gaze brushed over the faint marks still lingering on my neck. Then, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head.

However, his voice remained firm as he said, “Be good. Something really did come up at home.”

His fingers slipped out of my grasp without hesitation. Head lowered, eyes on his phone, he walked away quickly.

On my Instagram feed, Joanna posted a photo. A pair of long, slender fingers rested over her pale ones, both hands holding the same cup of coffee.

“Thanks to a certain someone for the lucky bracelet.”

The color combination was painfully familiar. That was the bracelet I had stood in the freezing wind for three hours to get as a gift for Dean.

The photo had no likes from mutual friends, and beneath the photo was a “visible to close friends” tag. I knew then that the post was meant for me.

I stared at it for a while, then let out a self-mocking laugh and tapped “like.”

There. She got what she wanted. I saw it.

After that, I got up, did my makeup, and got ready for the high school graduation party that night. From my closet, I picked out a tight, body-hugging dress, the kind Dean never allowed me to wear out. He always said I looked best in boho-styled white dresses that made me look sweet and innocent. Yet, whenever I wore those cotton white dresses, I felt restrained, like I couldn’t move freely.

Heh.

I pulled out a bold red lipstick, painted my lips, and slipped into a pair of low heels that clicked on the floor as I walked. When I pushed open the private room door, Dean’s casual gaze swept over me. However, the moment he saw what I was wearing, his eyes widened. A warm shirt was suddenly draped over my bare shoulders.

He frowned. “Why are you dressed like this? Go back and change into something else.”

Joanna walked over and lightly tapped his chest. The lucky bracelet on her wrist was impossible to ignore.

“Girls can wear whatever they want. You’re so old-fashioned. And besides,” she said, deliberately puffing her chest, “Rue’s got a better figure than I do. Even if I wanted to wear something like that, I don’t have what it takes.

“Hey.” She laughed, then reached out and poked my chest. “Are you trying to kill the rest of us by dressing like this? Every guy on the street must be staring at you, wishing they could just devour you!”

There was nothing but mockery in her eyes, even though she said, “Honestly, Rue, I kind of envy you.”

The room burst into laughter, but Dean’s face was dark with anger. He pulled the shirt tighter around me and pushed me toward the door.

“Go get changed. Be good. I don’t like you dressing like this.”

“Then what do you like me wearing?”

He paused mid-step. He clearly hadn’t expected me to talk back. After all, I had always done exactly as he said. His fingers slid along my waist, pressing slightly. It served as a quiet warning.

“Dressing like this in public is too inappropriate. Of course,” he said as he leaned in closer, lowering his voice on purpose, “you can wear it for me at home. I’m very possessive.”

My heart raced, but when I looked up and saw Joanna standing across from us, my heartbeat suddenly calmed.

“You’re into the soft, boho type of girls like Joanna, aren’t you? If you fancy her, then why are you still with me…”

I lowered my head, my body trembling slightly. I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence.

I wasn’t exactly quiet about it either, so Joanna, standing not far away, heard every word. The girl who had been laughing just moments ago suddenly had tears in her eyes.

“Rue, I know you don’t like me, but we’re all friends. Do we really have to end the graduation party like this? Forget it,” she sniffed. “I’ll leave, okay? There’s no point staying here where I’m not wanted.”

She stomped her foot and turned to go. Dean immediately chased after her and stopped her.

Then, he dragged me in front of her and ordered, “Rue, apologize to Joanna.”

“It’s fine.” Joanna forced a bitter smile. “It’s my fault. Rue, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said so much and upset you.”

She tried to hold it together, but her shoulders kept trembling.

Growing impatient, Dean frowned and shoved me lightly.

“I told you to apologize. Didn’t you hear me?”

I looked at him, standing beside Joanna, looking so concerned for her. It all felt pointless.

“Sorry,” I said and walked out of the room.

I heard familiar footsteps rushing up behind me. Dean grabbed my arm, pushed me into an empty room, and trapped me between the wall and his chest.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Don’t be.”

He lifted my chin and leaned in slightly, but I turned my face away. His lips brushed past my hair and landed on nothing but air. He looked caught off guard.

“And you say you’re not mad.”

However, only a second later, that sleazily smiling face returned.

“Alright, alright.”

His voice was low and slightly hoarse, carrying an emotion I couldn’t quite place.

“If you really want to dress like that…” He gulped before he continued, “I’ll get you something even better. Wear it tonight for me alone.”

His voice dropped even lower. “I promise I’ll satisfy you.”

The memory of the half-used box of ultra-thin protection on the bedside table this morning made my face burn like I had a fever.

Last night, he had been urgent and clumsy, trying to prove his love. Sweat dripped onto my chest. When he reached for the box by the bed for the fourth time, I got a little scared and tried to stop him.

“You’ll get tired…”

Dean just laughed, something wicked in his expression.

“Rue,” he murmured against my ear, “when it comes to a girl they love, no man can hold back.”

Maybe he was right. Physical desire couldn’t be hidden.

I endured the discomfort of the first time and let him have his way. Again and again, he kept asking, sounding almost anxious, “Rue, you promised me, right? You’ll apply to a university in Harbor City?”

I got annoyed and flicked his forehead. “Yes, yes. You’re so naggy.”

He pulled me into his arms, already dreaming about the future. “Tree-lined paths, flowers in bloom, the library, you on the back seat of my bike… Rue, we’re going to have the most romantic university life.”

I sank into the dream he painted for me.

Back at the senior year pledge ceremony, he had leaned over and whispered, “Are you applying to Capitol City? But I want to go to Harbor City’s University of Technology.”

His eyes were bright, reflecting me clearly. “Would you come to Harbor City… for me?”

For some reason, I nodded, and his dark eyes lit up like fireworks. He smiled so wide his eyes disappeared.

Suddenly, a ringtone shattered the dim silence of the room. The boy who once looked at me like I was his whole world was gone.

“Dean.” Joanna’s voice came through the phone, soft and teary. “Are you with Rue? Please tell her that I only posted the photo because I was so happy to receive the lucky bracelet. I didn’t mean to upset her. I’ll return it to you right away. Please don’t fight because of me, okay?”

“Mm.” Dean ended the call indifferently.

The silence in the room felt suffocating.

After a long pause, he met my eyes and explained, “I lent the bracelet to Joanna. She has a piano competition in a couple of days. I remember you saying that bracelet could bring luck. You even had it blessed.”

I bit my lip. “I went out of my way to get that for you.”

“I know.” He ran a hand through his hair, clearly irritated. “That’s why I only planned to lend it to her for a bit. She’ll return it after the competition. We’re all friends. You don’t have to be so petty.”

I tried to explain quietly, “I waited in line at Central Pavilion for three hours…”

“Why are you being so stubborn?” His voice rose. “She just posted it to thank me, and you went and left sarcastic comments? Rue, when did you become so narrow-minded?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Was I really the one being petty? Was I really the narrow-minded one?

I let out a long sigh and said, “Dean, let’s break up.”