CHAPTER FOUR

BAD DECISIONS TASTE BETTER.

ISLA

"Fuck Asher's rules."

Those were the last words that left his mouth, and those words shouldn't have done what they did to me.

They shouldn't have sent a reckless pulse through my chest or made my fingers curl against Rowan's shirt like I was anchoring myself to him. They shouldn't have made me forget-just for a second-that this was dangerous, and the moment I let his soft lips touch mine, there was no going back.

But they did.

The moment Rowan's lips claimed mine, all sense of reasoning flew out the window. My fingers instinctively found his hair, and I was pulling him closer into me.

His hands snaked around my waist, pulling me into him like I was a second skin, one hand slipping down and cupping my ass.

Oh God...

A shameless moan racked through my chest and into the kiss as his touch sent shock waves through every nerve in my body. Butterflies flew endlessly in the pits of my stomach, my ears tingled, and something warm and wet slipped out from between my legs and wet my panties.

Isla, stop!

My mind called out to me, but my body betrayed me shamelessly. His hands slid down and rested on my hips, and in one move, he lifted me. My legs wrapped around his waist as he backed me harder into the door, his lips moving dangerously against mine.

His teeth sank into my lower lip, and the little pain made me gasp, giving him just enough room for him to delve his tongue into my mouth. His tongue roamed the corners of my mouth, looking for a perfect place to rest, but found none before it engaged in a battle with my own tongue.

I could feel something hard press against my throbbing warmth, and that sparked more intensity in my brain, and his kisses became sloppier.

And just when my fingers were tugging his hair harder and I had damned all the consequences in my head, Rowan stopped. Actually stopped.

He froze so suddenly it felt like the air shifted with him. His jaw tightened and his eyes darkened. And you didn't need a sorcerer to know they were darkened not with lust, but with restraint. It was clear he was holding something feral back.

He swore under his breath and dropped me before stepping away and dragging his hands from my waist like it physically hurt him to do it.

"Fuck," he muttered, turning his back to me and scrubbing a hand down his face. "This is a bad idea."

I laughed weakly, my heart still racing and my lips swollen from the heat of the moment. "You're just realizing that?"

He turned back, slower this time, those chaotic grey eyes boring into me again.

Those eyes would be the beginning of my destruction...

"I realized it the first time I looked at you. I just didn't think I'd lose my damn mind over it."

He sounded frustrated, but his words did something to me, something quiet and heavy.

"You should go," he said hoarsely.

I stared at him, my chest aching in a way it had never ached before. "Rowan-"

"Go," he repeated, avoiding my gaze. "Before I forget why I'm trying to be good."

But I couldn't bring myself to move.

Seeing as I was reluctant to move, he stepped to the side and opened the door. And then he was gone. The door shut, and just like that, I was alone.

I stood there for a full minute, staring at the spot where he'd been, my body still buzzing like something dangerous had been carved into my skin. My lips felt warm, and my waist felt empty.

Idiot, Isla. Stupid! Naive! Emotional!

I fixed my dress, wiped the corners of my eyes, and straightened my spine. I stepped back into the party.

The music became loud again, and the party was still moving like my life had not become complicated by just a kiss. I grabbed another cup without caring what was in it and took a long sip.

I danced, just enough to lose myself in the movement, in the noise, and in the lie that tonight didn't matter.

By the time I checked my phone, it was past midnight. There were a lot of unread messages and missed calls from Sonia. Great.

I slipped out of the frat house quietly, the night air cool against my overheated skin as I tried calling a cab. But no luck. I tried another one, and still nothing.

"Perfect," I muttered as I began walking.

The streetlights were sparse, and the road was too quiet for comfort. My heels clicked softly against the pavement as I hugged my jacket closer, nerves beginning to creep in now that the adrenaline had faded.

Then headlights flashed behind me. I froze as a car slowed and rolled beside me. Every bad thought rushed in at once.

And the moment the window slid down, I jumped in fear.

"Jesus," a familiar voice said. "Relax. I'm not about to kidnap you."

Noah Bennett.

He leaned over the wheel, one arm draped casually, the other tapping the steering wheel, grinning like he hadn't scared ten years off my life.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I snapped.

"Wow," he said. "And here I was thinking I'd get a thank-you for not letting you get murdered."

"I was fine," I lied.

"At midnight. Alone. On this road?" He hummed. "Sure."

I rolled my eyes.

"Are you coming from a party?" He asked, and when I nodded, there was an amusement on his face, the kind that came before "Oh, I didn't know Asher let you move around like that."

"Don't even say what I think you're about to say."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Get in, I'll drop you off."

I studied him for a moment before opening the door, and the moment I buckled in, he took off.

Fast.

"Are you insane?!" I grabbed my seatbelt instinctively.

He laughed carelessly. "Relax, North. I know this road."

"You're going to kill us."

"Only a little," he said cheerfully.

Despite myself, I laughed. He cracked jokes the whole drive, stupid ones, sarcastic ones, and ones that distracted me from how fast the city lights blurred past.

Somewhere between my third eye roll and realizing I haven't laughed as much as I did with him, we pulled up to my dorm.

"Wow," I said dryly. "Thanks for not killing me."

"Anytime," he replied. "I try to keep my passengers alive."

He threw me a wink and drove off. I had barely gotten my cheeks to relax when I turned and saw Asher standing in front of my dorm door.

CHAPTER FIVE

I KISSED THE WRONG BEST FRIEND.

ISLA

"Asher."

I whispered under my breath, feeling the excitement vanish from my bones. What the hell is he doing here? Did he see who dropped me off?

Before my thoughts could run further, his voice cut through the quiet hallway before I even reached the door.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I stopped short.

Asher stood a few steps away, arms crossed, his jaw tight-not in a furious way, but wound too tight to pretend he wasn't scared. His hair was damp, like he'd just come from the gym, hoodie half-zipped, eyes scanning me like I had appeared out of nowhere.

"I-" I swallowed. "I went out."

"That's by the way," he snapped, then exhaled sharply and dragged a hand over his face. "Your roommate called me. She said you disappeared and weren't answering your phone."

This time, my guilt hit harder than my fear.

"I didn't hear it," I said softly. "My phone was on silent."

He stared at me for a long second, then looked away like he didn't trust his tone. "Since when did you start going to parties? And what happened to your curfew, Isla? It's past midnight!"

"I'm sorry."

That took some of the edge off him, and he let out a breath.

His gaze dropped briefly, then flicked back up. "Who dropped you off?"

My heart skipped a beat. He can't know it was Noah.

"A... friend," I said quickly, then I forced myself to steady my voice. "Someone from campus."

He narrowed his eyes just a bit. "A guy?"

I hesitated for half a second too long, and he took that as an answer.

"Isla, you can't be-"

"Asher," I called, cutting him off gently. "I'm okay. I promise."

He studied me again, searching for something I didn't know. But whatever he saw must've satisfied him because his shoulders finally relaxed.

"Next time," he said, "you tell me. Or you answer your phone."

"I will."

He nodded, then stepped aside so I could unlock the door. "Eat something before you shower and sleep."

I smiled faintly. "Yes, Dad."

He huffed despite himself. "Goodnight, Isla."

"Goodnight."

He waited until I was inside before walking away.

Sonia was sitting cross-legged on her bed when I walked in, phone in hand with her headphones over her head.

"Oh," she said slowly, pulling the headphones away. "So you're alive."

I dropped my bag. "Hi to you too, and thank you for abandoning me at a party you invited me to."

"Don't 'hi' me," she snapped. "Do you know how insane I looked calling your brother at midnight?"

"I'm sorry," I said again, quieter this time.

She softened just a bit. "I tried reaching you. Like-a lot. And I was worried."

"I know. I didn't hear it."

She eyed me before a smirk curved on her lips. "So... was that a guy who dropped you off?"

I froze with my eyes wide. "You saw that?"

"Girl," she laughed, "I have eyes."

"It was nothing."

"That's what they all say." She leaned back. "You abandoned me at a frat party and came home glowing. I deserve details."

"There are no details."

She didn't believe me. But she let it go.

Days passed too slowly for my liking.

Rowan avoided me like I'd imagined the kiss, Ellis watched me like he was trying to solve a puzzle, and Noah smiled like he knew something I didn't.

I reduced going to the ice rink and stayed in my room, and it was like that today until a knock came on my door.

I frowned, glancing at the time before opening the door and concluding it was Sonia. But Sonia doesn't knock.

I threw my weight off my bed and moved my feet towards the door and pulled it back.

I froze.

Ellis Grant stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression just as startled as mine.

"Oh," he said. "You stay here."

"You-" I blinked. "What are you doing here?"

He chuckled softly. "Visiting my sister."

My confusion must've shown because he tilted his head. "Sonia?"

The confirmation on his face was all I needed, and the room spun.

"Sonia is your sister?"

"Unfortunately," he said with a grin. "She steals your snacks too?"

I laughed before I could stop myself. "She steals anything."

"That tracks."

"She's not here," I said, stepping aside. "But you can... wait? If you want."

He hesitated only for a second before nodding. "Sure."

He walked in, his cologne invading the whole space.

God! He smells like cedarwood.

He sat on the edge of her bed while I perched on mine, awkward silence settling. I was trying to concentrate on the movie I was watching while trying to pretend I could not feel him staring at me. At least until his voice pulled my attention back to him.

"What are you watching?"

"Some stupid movie."

"Mind if I join?"

I shrugged. "It's terrible; you'd hate it."

"Perfect."

He got off Sonia's bed before I could protest further and then plumped in beside me. We sat closer than necessary, our shoulders brushing as his knee bumped mine.

At some point, his laugh softened, and his arm rested behind me. He wasn't touching me, but it was just enough to make me aware that his hands were draping behind me.

And that destabilized me in a funny way. I became acutely aware of him and the way his attention felt different. His eyes met mine again for the fifth time, and unlike other times, he didn't look away. His ocean blue eyes bored into mine, and I wanted to drown in them.

"Isla," he said quietly.

"Yes?"

"I've wanted to do this for a while."

Before I could ask what, his hand brushed my jaw gently, and instinctively I leaned into his touch, just as his lips leaned into mine. Warmth filled my chest, and my thoughts immediately blanked out.

The kiss was soft and careful, nothing like Rowan's fire, but it lingered. I don't know how or when, but our kiss progressed into something more, and our clothes were going off.

Ellis made you forget like that, and I was not ready to get pulled back from the pit I was falling into.

CHAPTER 6

I SLEPT WITH MY ROOMMATE'S BROTHER.

ISLA

Ellis kissed me like he was afraid I'd disappear if he didn't. The kiss was slow, slippery, and careful, like he was memorizing the shape of my mouth and the way I gasp when he circles his thumb around my nipples.

He rushed nothing, stole nothing, and somehow, that made it worse. I liked the reckless kiss with Rowan; it rushed my pleasure. And I also like the slow kiss with Ellis; it makes me want to chew him raw.

"This is a bad idea," I whispered against his lips, my hands curling under the hem of my shirt and raising it to my chest. I pulled back to give him the chance to completely pull it off my head.

"I know," he breathed back, forehead resting against mine. His voice wasn't convincing, and truthfully.... Neither was mine.

My heart was pounding so hard I thought he might feel it through my ribs as his hands slipped on the bare skin on my waist, picking slightly while trailing kisses down my neck.

I was almost vibrating from the shockwaves that were sent to my head and the tip of my ears.

"We should stop," he said against my neck, sucking gently on the skin there as he fully wrapped his hands around my waist. I moved more into him, wanting to feel more of him than I already could.

"Yeah, we should."

Neither of us moved.

My fingers found the buttons on his shirt, and I took my time plucking them off. His mouth never left my neck until all his buttons were off and I ran my hand across his bare chest.

God.... Just as sexy as I've always imagined.

That sent shockwaves through his body, and he jumped back a bit from me.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't ask if it was okay to touch you." An index finger to my mouth shut me up instantly, and he shook his head.

"That's what you do to me," he whispered. "And we should probably stop this, or Asher would kill me."

The room suddenly felt too small and too warm as the movie still played in the background, forgotten and sounding like nothing more than noise. All I could do was hear my own breathing and the way he slowed to match it.

"Yeah, you're right."

But his eyes told me something completely different. His thumb traced a slow line along my side, stopping just short of where my skin felt too sensitive. I sucked in a breath.

"But I can't pretend I don't feel this," he added, and that did it.

I leaned in first this time, pressing my mouth to his with more intention and more need. He froze for half a second, long enough to choose, then kissed me back, deeper this time.

My thoughts scattered.

"Isla," he murmured against my mouth as he blindly cleared the bed. Things clattered to the floor, but we were too caught up in each other to care.

"Hmm."

My fingers trailed his abs, stopping short whenever I got to his waistline. I couldn't bring myself to touch him there.

"Tell me to stop," he said, leaning towards me so I instinctively leaned back until my back touched the pillow.

"This is wrong," I whispered. "You're my brother's best friend."

"So tell me you don't feel what I feel and ask me to stop," he said against my lips, using his tongue to trail the bottom of my lips.

But I'd be damned if I asked him to stop.

"My brother isn't feeling what I feel right now."

That earned a smile from him. Noticing my fingers were too scared to explore deeper, he used his free hand to guide my hands until I was touching his huge bulge.

"Oh God..." I panicked at the size and hardness of it, but his hands all over me didn't give enough time for the panic to settle in.

Before my brain could fully think of anything that was going on, we were both naked and trying not to fall off my dorm bed. How the hell did I get myself to be naked with a boy I barely knew? Well, that's a question I'll need answers to myself.

His ocean blue eyes locked on mine, shimmering with something darker than I've ever seen, but still gentle enough to have me lying under him naked.

I tried to move my hands to cover my exposed body, but he gently brushed my hands away and used his finger to trace a line at the side of my stomach.

"You're more beautiful than you let yourself see, and it hurts to know you've hidden all these behind hoodies while trying to stay invincible. If there was a program broadcasting you, I'd pay to watch you every day, Isla."

He let his eyes run along my body, and instead of feeling uncomfortable, I felt... seen.

He reached for his trousers and pulled out a condom. His gaze came back to mine, but I couldn't focus on it, not when he was using his teeth to tear it apart.

I should've asked myself why he was walking around with a condom in his pocket like it was an EpiPen, but my dripping wetness did not give me the chance to think.

When he finally began slipping into me, I held onto the sheets as he tore into me.

"God! You're so tight!"

When he was finally all in, he gave me time to adjust to his size before he started thrusting again, and gradually pain turned into pleasure.

Our moans filled the room, and everything else faded into the background. Even though what we were doing wasn't a mistake. It was a beginning.

And somewhere deep down, as I clung to him and let myself fall, I knew one thing with absolute clarity:

I hadn't just crossed a line. I'd stepped into something that would ruin me... and I didn't want to turn back.