Nicola

I was acutely aware that I was about to go too far. The instant her wonderful blue eyes caught mine, I knew I shouldn't touch this barely legal, innocent angel.

Emily. She was completely removed from my gloomy underworld. It was selfish and risky for me to allow myself to grow close to her.

But as she swung toward me, it was almost difficult to refuse, as if she were lured by the same magnetic pull that had been tantalizing and torturing me for weeks.

I should have just left. Maybe I should have just disregarded her, dismissed her. She may be able to avoid scarring her flawless complexion with permanent bruises if she allows her pride to be bruised now.

As the horrible mental picture of her in agony flashed before my eyes, my hands tightened. My being in any kind of relationship with her may be dangerous. She would be the one to be used as bait if someone from my past ever found me. In an effort to humiliate me.

Since the moment the lovely, curvaceous brunette caught my eye from across the dark bar where I worked, I had been dying to make her mine. Dive bar, but college kids didn't come here for fancy drinks; owner didn't mind serving alcohol to minors; paid me in cash, beneath the table. I liked that I could hide my true identity in this position. There was no paper trail indicating my occupation, and no digital footprints to indicate my whereabouts. I was safe from discovery in this place. Neither my merciless buddies nor my merciless opponents.

Someone with Emily's gorgeous, charmed existence would never comprehend the dirt and grime of my world, and if I were a decent guy, I would protect her from it.

I thought I had left that life behind me, but you never know when the past will come up with you. I had to go away, maybe from my fake relatives.

They weren't even a concern of mine. My loved ones' lives would be at jeopardy if my family's adversaries tracked me down.

And I certainly didn't want that for Emily. However, my desire for her increased each time I saw her at the bar. She was beautiful, but that wasn't the only thing that captivated me about her. Her long lashes were down to conceal the longing that clouded her eyes, and her cheeks were the palest pink throughout our short rendezvous.

Soft, charming, and bashful, she embodied all the feminine attributes that appealed to the darkest corners of my personality.

I had become used to getting my way back home. Women were lining up to get into my bed, and my family had more money than we could ever spend. All eyes were on me because of my prosperity and authority.

That was never a problem for me previously. To be honest, I'd never given it much consideration before.

Not until Emily's eyes met mine with want. No filthy wealthy relative who would spoil her with lavish presents. Emily's desire for me was not motivated by anything other than our mutual attraction. The explanation for this is obvious: animal magnetism. This was a tantalizing glimpse of the world I yearned for, free of all violence and violent power struggles.

To live a life free of the guilt that comes with having the blood of the innocent on my hands.

Yet, I knew there was nothing conventional about the strength of our connection, even as I indulged the unattainable notion of dating her like I was a regular guy with an unremarkable history. Rare was the chemical that burned and consumed. Greater intensity than I've ever experienced before.

In those long weeks of suppression, she had become into more than just a beautiful lady whose body I could not wait to possess. In my opinion, she was an angel from heaven who had a lovely, pleasant existence. I was envious of her and really wanted to be with her. Maybe for a little second I might imagine that type of existence was mine if I could reach out and touch her, if I could taste her.

Although I was aware that I was harmful to her, I was unsure of how much longer I could control my baser, more carnal desires.

Emily

When our eyes met, my stomach did a little flip. Even though the pub was packed with drunken students, the shrill shrieks of women and the blare of hip-hop music eventually subsided. As a person who has experienced this phenomena before, I found it to be really engaging. Having conversations like this with him became quite addicting. The sight of his confident, crooked grin raised my blood pressure and pulse rate.

Without thinking, I relaxed my grip on the bar separating us and leaned forward Nicola. Before his pressing complimentary beverages into my palm, his long fingers barely brushed over mine.

I had a major crush on the stunning bartender, but so did most of the ladies who visited the dive pub where minors could easily order drinks. I'm not typically the kind to wink and smile her way into free drinks, but something about Nicola made me feel like I could do anything. There was just too much electricity between us for me to ignore.

His grin would stop my heart, and his eyes would dance an aquamarine color, but I couldn't tell whether he felt the same way about me. Most of the women at the pub were probably targets of his flirting. He was, after all, looking for advice.

"Same as usual, Emily?" His voice was smooth as silk as it crooned my name, reverberating deeper than the bar's throbbing beat.

I squeaked out a "Um, yeah, please" i. He caught me off guard with his intense, flame-blue look, and I immediately became heated and agitated despite my lack of composure. His dark eyelashes and seductive lips may have given him a feminine appearance.

In contrast, he had a ruggedly masculine jawline and well-defined cheekbones. His chiseled face was framed by a fringe of black hair that curved ever so slightly. For some reason, I really wanted to run my fingers through it to feel whether it was as thick and velvety as it seemed.

After staring at me for a while, he turned away to fill a plastic cup with ice, orange vodka, and cranberry juice. When he finally took his eyes off of me, I took a deep breath and let my sight wander lower, admiring the way his muscles bulged and rippled under his indecently tight black t-shirt.

In an instant, my tongue had slid out to lick my lips. His eyes were searing into me again, and I knew he had picked up on my lustful response to him. I glanced at the shiny bar top as my cheeks began to burn.

He put the drink down in front of me but didn't back away. He kept his hand on the cup until I finally picked it up. I snuck a glance up at him, wondering for the umpteenth time whether his flirting antics were motivated by anything other than a desire for a tip.

As I reached out for the glass, my fingers shook nervously at the prospect of physical touch. I reached for the cold cup, and he placed his fingers in between mine. His calloused skin glided lightly over mine, and the sensation made my flesh prickle.

"Are you finished? " From behind me came the sound of a woman's irritated voice.

The moment was destroyed, and I jerked away from Nicola. A rush of shame crashed over me, and I hurriedly threw five dollars in the tip jar and fled the bar, almost dropping my drink in my hurry to get away from him.

I made my way back to Jayme, dodging people as I went. In the far corner, my best buddy leant on a tall table and smirked at me. My body ached with shame and something worse I tried to ignore. I avoided her dazzling green gaze as best I could.

She tossed her blonde hair over one shoulder and glared at me. So, I said, "Where is my drink?"

Crap.

My helpless physical response to Nicola had thrown me off balance, and I'd neglected to also get a vodka-cranberry for my pal.

I said, "I'm sorry." It's true that "I got distracted."

"Absolutely, you did. "

My head trembled. Although Ella may have no qualms about luring men in, I was a little more cautious about the whole thing. Actually, I was too timid to speak out. And cautious since my partner cheated on me the year before. Ella called me a serial monogamist because of my relationship history. I was never one to trust easily, so when I did let someone in, I went all in.

Because of Jimmy's betrayal, my trust difficulties had worsened.

"That's why you're insane if you're not touching that, "Ella said. " If you invited him, Nicola would definitely come home with you. Let's hang around till it's late, and then you may strike. "

My eyeballs rolled. " You are well aware that this is impossible. Wish you wouldn't make fun of me like that. "

She made an act of repentance by raising her hands. " I'm not making jokes. I'm going to do everything I can to get you some activity. "

A sigh came out of my mouth. When I considered the possibility of being rejected, I knew I couldn't risk putting myself out there in that way. It seemed to Ella that my request would be accepted without any hesitation, but I was less certain. Even when further evidence pointed to Nicola's interest in me, I was still not confirmed.

To change the topic, she waved her hand briefly. "All right, let's choose an easy standard to begin with. Stu has a crush on you, you idiot. You two locked lips during last weekend's house party. He's a spoiled brat, yet he has a lot of appeal. You don't have to get married to him or anything." On the last one, she smiled and teased gently.

While Nicola had a profound impact on my heart rate, that man had no such effect on me. This action was prompted by anxiety. When I was last with Stan, he kept pouring me an unidentifiable concoction that burned my throat with each swallow.

I was aware of how alcoholic it was, yet I drank too much of it to ease my social nervousness. By the end of the night, I was dancing with reckless abandon and rotating my hips. Stan had also moved in. I had drunkenly kissed him in the middle of the celebration.

It was so unlike me and the recollections made me feel terrible shame. The remark made by Ella is accurate. Alcohol had weakened my barriers to an intolerable degree, and it had been a long time since I'd had a sexual interaction with a guy.

"Not proud of it, "I admitted.

"It's interesting that you're not a supporter of his, however. "

Despite his conventional good looks, Stun failed to get my heart pounding and my stomach in knots.

I was greeted with Ella's mischievous grin. She warned that time was of the essence since he was on his way over.

She avoided the table and ultimately decided against sitting there.

"So I'm going to the bar now. Please excuse me while I go to the bathroom."

"Ella". With a radiant grin, she blended in with the crowd.

"It's me, Emily. "Turning around, I recognized Stan's voice calling from behind me.

I closed my eyes, took a big breath, and spun around to face him. Attempting a smile, I extended my cup of coffee. I assured him everything was OK.

"It's now my time to speak. "His grin was wide and youthful. Stan's dark blond hair and green eyes gave him a beautiful, preppy appearance. He wore a blue button-up shirt and boat shoes, giving off an air of casual country club sophistication.

He's not my type, but his charm let me overlook his spoilt brat behavior.

"It's a miracle that I ran into you tonight. "

"I've been meaning to ask you something," he said with that haughty grin on his face.

"Yeah?" My toes wiggled and my fingers entwined in a nervous tic. Even if he did ask me back to his place, I knew I'd have to decline in shame. There was no difference in the amount of time since my previous sexual contact; I still had no interest in engaging in casual sex.

"We are having a party at the Sky Clubhouse this coming weekend. Please agree to go out on a date with me." Pride and arrogance filled him, and he lifted his head high with his chin leaned back.

The Sky was among the most prestigious of Nevada's after-class groups. The fact that Stan was a part of it at all was noteworthy. Moreover, I seldom ventured into such circles. Because of my shy nature and the time-consuming application process, I had given up on joining any final clubs during my time at Stanford.

Although Stan didn't exactly ask me out on a date, I would like the opportunity to see the clubhouse. Instead, he sounded like he was making a solemn proclamation. I didn't give much credence to his attitude, despite the fact that these parties were legendary for their wild excesses.

"Oh." I nearly attended the party despite my dislike of Stan.

A sly smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, and his eyebrows raised. "Oh? What if I interpret it as a yes?"

Inexcusably haughty. Despite my immediate irritation, I saw some doubt in his eyes. When it came to Nicola, neither he nor I wanted to be rejected. At least Stan was brave enough to ask me out on a date while I was having the guts to pursue a romantic relationship with Nicola.

I met his gaze and smiled up at him. "Sure. A date with me is an option."

Even though I wasn't interested in him romantically, dressing up and getting an inside look at the Sky Clubhouse would be fun. I didn't have to marry him, though, as Ella pointed out. It was just a date, not a promise for a long-term relationship.

The only way I'd go was if Ella could come along, so I added that with fake confidence. Not only did I need my bestie as an anxiety buffer, but she would be even more thrilled to attend the party than I was.

Stan gave me back a beaming grin and then looked away from me to try to find Ella. When he first saw her, his eyes darted up and down to take an inventory. Without a doubt. Stannning women are always welcome to join us.

Attempting to hide a frown, I succeeded. The possibility that Ella and I were invited to the party solely because the male hosts wanted to attract as many attractive women as possible bothered me.

Stan's grin narrowed to the point where I felt compelled to take a step back. I tried to push aside the sneaking suspicion that the only reason there were women in attendance was to serve as arm candy. We were the new kids on the block.

It's like this, I told myself, because that's the way things are. Nearly all of the Stundents felt compelled to attend these events. Members were free to be as picky as they liked when deciding who to invite. That Stan asked me to be his date should be a huge honor. And having Ella by my side would be a great relief. Stan's willingness to readily include her was appreciated.

"cheers," he raised his beer and touched it to my cup, sealing our promised date. After being silent for a few seconds, I reflexively tipped my own drink back to show my agreement. He drank half of his beer in one sitting, while I could only manage a sip. I had no intention of drinking and losing control again.

The unsettling vibes from Stun were making me anxious, and it would be too easy to just chug a shot of vodka to calm down.

I wished Ella were here because I knew my worry was unwarranted. When my best friend saw that I was beginning to spiral out of control, she would always talk some sense into me.

Suddenly, my attention was drawn to the packed dance floor, where I hoped to spot her.

In an instant, Stun had my attention again by putting his hand around my iced coffee.

His fingers curled around mine, and I shivered slightly, but not nearly as much as I had when Joseph touched me. The bartender's hand had been steady and calloused, and his body heat had seeped through my clothes and into my bones. Stun's pint glass had frozen over, making his fingers numb and icy.