Ever since I can remember, I was Nina's blood bank.

Nina was like a glass princess. One sneeze and she could break. She needed blood all the time just to stay okay.

Mom had her tubes untied just to have me to save Nina.

My arms were always full of needle marks.

Mom and Dad looked at me like they felt bad. "Chloe, you're a good girl. Nina's sick. She doesn't mean it when she gets mad. Be patient with her."

I made myself smile. "I know. You can take more. I'm not scared."

They turned away and cried.

I thought if I stayed good and didn't complain, they'd love me someday.

Then I won first place in a painting contest.

Nina ripped the bandage off her hand and started crying. "Why are you showing off? Why am I the sick one? I hate you!"

Mom shoved me to the ground. "Your sister can't even go to school. What are you bragging about some dumb paper for? How can you be this mean? Why couldn't you be the sick one?"

Dad carried Nina out. He didn't look at me.

I ran after the car all the way to the hospital. I only heard the doctor say, "Without a full blood replacement, she won't make it three months."

I looked at my arm.

'Nina, please don't hate me anymore. If I give you my life, will that be enough?'

I pushed the hospital door open a little. A cup flew right at my face.

Mom's eyes were red. "Who told you to come? Get out! Haven't you hurt Nina enough? Do you have to see her die?"

The cup hit my nose and broke on the floor.

Everything went black for a second. Blood kept running out of my nose.

I wiped it with my sleeve. "I'm sorry, Nina. I just wanted to see you."

Nina's voice sounded all choked. "See me? See how miserable I am? See me die? Get out! You're not my sister! I hate you!"

She threw a pillow at me.

Then she started coughing really hard.

"Enough!" Dad said.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me out.

He pushed me into a plastic chair and lifted my chin.

Blood ran into my throat. It tasted gross, like metal. I felt like I was gonna throw up.

He patted my back. "Spit it out. Hurry."

I shook my head. "I can't. The blood's for Nina. We can't waste it."

He looked at me, then sighed.

He got some cotton and medicine and cleaned my cut. "Chloe, don't blame Mom or Nina. She's only ten. Her bones break so easy. Even a small bump hurts all night. Seeing her like that hurts your mom the most. She didn't mean to hit you."

I picked at the tear in my pants. I got it when I fell running too fast.

"I know, Dad. I'll be good. I won't make Nina mad."

His hand stopped, then he rubbed my hair. "Sit here for a bit. Go back in when she calms down."

I sat there quiet and watched Mom and Dad hold Nina, all gentle and careful.

I rubbed my eyes and pretended I didn't see.

I waited until I fell asleep. Then the door opened.

Nina was yelling she wanted to go home. "I don't wanna stay here! It smells weird. I feel sick!"

Mom kept saying, "Okay, okay. We're going home. Right now."

Dad came out and stopped when he saw me still there. "Chloe, let's go."

I jumped up.

But I sat too long. My legs gave out, and I fell to my knees.

No one saw. I stood up by myself.

***

Dad pulled the car around.

They carried Nina to the back, stacking soft blankets and pillows under her. That was her spot. Nothing could touch her bones.

Mom got in the front.

Dad glanced at me, then at Mom. "Why don't you hold Chloe up here?"

Mom frowned. "Are you crazy? What if someone snaps a pic? Who's paying the fine?"

I ran to the back and grabbed the trunk. "It's okay! I got a spot!"

The trunk was packed with Nina's medical stuff.

I curled up inside and smiled at Dad. "It's good here. Really."

He sighed. "If you feel sick, call me."

Nina snapped from the back, "Hurry! I wanna lie in my own bed!"

The car started.

Every turn and bump threw me around like trash. A medicine box smacked my nose. Tears slipped out.

I hugged myself tight. 'Chloe, you're in kindergarten now. Be brave. Don't cry.'

I don't know how long it took before the car stopped.

I waited and waited. No one opened the trunk. I climbed into the back seat and got out.

Mom looked at me all mad. "If you mess up Nina's blankets, you'll regret it!"

Then I remembered something.

I turned and ran back inside.

I rushed in. The gold certificate was still on the floor.

I grabbed it and ran to my room.

I closed my eyes and tore it.

Faster. Harder.

Until it was just scraps. No way to fix it.

My chest didn't feel so squished after that.

I took out the painting. It showed all four of us sitting in the sun.

I touched it over and over, but I couldn't tear it.

I folded it nice and hid it under my pillow.

At dinner, Mom set a big plate of garlic butter steak in front of me. "Finish it. Every piece."

The plate was huge. Bigger than my face.

Then she went into Nina's room.

I grabbed my fork and shoved the biggest piece into my mouth.

It was too much. My stomach felt like it would pop.

Dad leaned in, voice low. "If you can't finish, don't force it. I'll help."

He just reached his fork out when Mom came out. "Daniel! What are you doing?"

She stepped over and hit my face with a spoon.

Half my face went numb. I sucked in a breath.

Tears filled my eyes, but I pushed them back. 'No crying. If I cry, Mom gets madder.

Mom put her hands on her hips. "Already pulling tricks? Don't wanna eat meat? If you don't eat, where's your sister's blood gonna come from?"

Dad stood up. "Why are you hitting her? Did she say she wouldn't eat? She's just a kid. That plate's enough for two adults!"

Mom shouted, crying, "You think I want this? I just want Nina to live! Is that wrong?"

Dad dropped back into his chair and covered his face.

I watched them fight.

Then I grabbed the rest of the steak and shoved it in my mouth.

The pieces were too big. I almost choked.

But I swallowed it. "Mom, I finished. Don't fight."

Her eyes were red when she came over and pulled me close.

She was warm. Soft.

My cheek pressed against her. The pain faded.

"Good girl. Chloe's a good girl. Mommy knows."

I nodded hard in her arms.

After dinner, I took blood like always and got it ready for Mom.

She was on the phone and waved me over. "Chloe, come here. It's Grandma."

My eyes lit up.

Before I turned three, Grandma took care of me.

Then she got sick and went back home. We never saw her again.

"Grandma!"

My nose stung.

Her soft voice came through. "Chloe, my sweet girl, are you okay? Are you eating enough?"

I nodded fast. "I'm good. I even won first place!"

As soon as I said it, I wished I didn't.

Mom frowned next to me.

But Grandma laughed. "I knew it. Our Chloe's the best!"

I held the phone tight. "Grandma, I dreamed about you last night. You gave me meatballs. They smelled so good."

Grandma's voice shook. "I miss you too. When I feel better, I'll come see you."

The call ended. My tears almost fell.

That night, I slept really good.

In my dream, Grandma came.

She held a plate of hot meatballs and smiled. "Chloe, come eat."

Then a scream woke me up.

I ran out barefoot.

Mom was on the living room floor, crying loud.

I went over and pulled her sleeve. "Mom, what's wrong?"

She shoved me. "You still asking?"

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. "Why'd you tell Grandma you wanted meatballs? Are you starving here? We don't feed you? Say it!"

I froze. "I just missed Grandma—"

She slapped me.

"You missed her? You missed her to death! If you didn't say that, would she stay up all night cooking and rush over? Would she crash? You're bad luck! My mom is gone because of you! Why don't you just die? Why wasn't it you?"

She shoved me again.

I stumbled back. My head hit the wall.

I didn't feel it. I just kept thinking, 'Grandma is dead? I killed Grandma?'

Dad grabbed Mom before she lost it. "Calm down! What does this have to do with Chloe?"

Mom fought him, face wet and messy. "How does it not? She caused it! She killed my mom! Let me go! Throw her out! I never want to see her again!"

Dad dragged her toward the door. "Chloe, stay here. Take care of Nina. We're going out."

I slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

My face felt cold. I touched it. My hand came back wet.

I didn't know when I started crying.

Later, Grandma really came back.

But she came in a coffin.

Mom stopped crying.

She stood in front of me with a plate of meatballs and said nothing, just shoved them into my mouth.

She stared at me. "Why aren't you swallowing? Didn't you want them? Then eat!"

I chewed slow. Before I could swallow one, she pushed in another.

"Swallow!"

I couldn't stop gagging.

She slapped me. "You gonna throw up? Grandma died because of you, and you won't even eat what she made?"

She grabbed my hair and yanked my head up. "How did I end up with you?"

Her fists and slaps kept coming.

I didn't move. I just bit my lip.

Dad rushed over and pulled her back. "Enough! Calm down!"

She fought him, crying hard. "I don't have a mom anymore!"

Dad's eyes got red too.

He held her and looked at me like it was my fault.

I sat on the floor. My whole body hurt.

But my heart hurt more. It hurt so bad I could barely breathe.

Grandma was gone.

I killed Grandma.

I covered my mouth. I didn't dare make a sound. I felt really, really sad.

"Chloe."

Nina stood at the door, calling me.

I pushed myself up and went into her room.

She closed the door and touched my swollen cheek. "Does it hurt?"

I nodded. My head felt like it was splitting.

Nina sighed and gave me a piece of candy. "Eat this. It won't hurt anymore. I eat candy when I'm hurting. Don't cry. Grandma loved you most. If she sees you cry, she'll be sad."

I sniffed. My voice barely worked. "It's my fault Grandma died. I—"

She cut me off. "It's not your fault. Everyone dies. Just sooner or later."

I sat next to her, crying like I couldn't stop.

After a while, she spoke soft. "Chloe, if I die, will you cry like this for me?"

I jerked and shook my head. "No! You won't die!"

She looked at me and scoffed. "Idiot. You don't have to lie. I know I'm dying."

She paused. "Maybe dying isn't so bad. If I die, I won't hurt anymore. And Grandma won't be alone."

She looked at me, eyes bright. "I'll go stay with Grandma. Don't be sad."

I stared at her. My head felt empty.

Then a thought came.

'The one who should die is me. The one who should go stay with Grandma is me.

'If I die, Nina won't have to.

'Mom and Dad won't be sad. And I can be with Grandma again.'

I looked at my wrist and thought, 'Nina, don't hate me anymore. I love you. I won't let you die.'