Joanna POV
I tell myself I am doing this for a story. For a moment of inspiration I can pin to the page later, something I can turn into a collection, something I can sell. That is my excuse, the version of events I repeat to myself like a prayer when the truth feels too cheap.
The car smells like leather and something sharp, like cologne and power. He drives without talking. I sit there counting streetlights, thinking of stupid things, like whether the leaves on the trees look the same in his neighborhood, whether his doorman has a name. Normal details, the kind you use to pretend you are safe.
“You quiet,” he says finally, low, like he is pointing out a fact. Not an accusation. A fact.
“Lots going through my head,” I say. “Like how to afford rent next month.”
He lets a small laugh out, without humor. “Not the answer I expected.”
He drove into the parking garage.
His place looks like an ad for minimalism. Glass everywhere, black couch that could double for a stage prop, a kitchen so clean it feels staged. No photos on the wall, no mugs, nothing that says someone has lived here and left crumbs and small burns on the stove like real people do. It is beautiful and unreadable. I think of my mother and a framed photo behind her head where she keeps a scuffed mug because she likes to think life is messy.
“You look different close up,” he says, watching me from across the room. He says it like he is surprised I am not the picture he had in his head.
“And you look like you swallowed a city,” I say, trying to push the world back into something ridiculous. It lands a few inches from a laugh. He does not smile, he narrows his eyes, and for a second I think he will be kind, and then he steps closer and that small hope dies.
“Say it,” he tells me.
“What?” I ask, heart skipping because he sounds like he is about to test me, like I am the wrong answer on an exam he should have studied for.
“That you want this.” He does not ask in a flirt, he states it like a thing that needs to be checked off.
I feel stupid for the way my throat tightens. I feel stupid for the way my hands go cold. I want to say no and walk to the elevator and go home and live with the shame of the missed chance. I want to say a hundred things. Instead the thing that comes out is small and soft and honest.
“Maybe,” I say. “Maybe I want something I will regret.”
He steps in, mouth finding mine like he has been rehearsing this moment and forgot to put in tenderness. It is not pretty. It is not tender. It is clumsy, urgent, full of teeth and breath and the small strangled sounds you do not share with strangers.
He pushed back to the glass window. His hands holding my hips.
We fell into one another like we planned this. No perfect choreography, no neat lines. My dress gets stuck on a zipper, I swear and laugh at the same time, and he curses under his breath, impatient, like he wants everything to be quick so feelings do not find a foothold. I hate him for that. I hate him for that loud need I feel in my bones.
He is rougher than I expected, not mean but not careful, which somehow cuts deeper. I have been kissed before, but this is a collision. I taste something bitter and nothing sweet. His hands map me like he is learning a country and I am a border he intends to cross.
At one point I pull back because my chest hurts. My breath is loud, and I look at him, and there is a rawness there I did not see at the gala. Not softness. Not warmth. A patient, empty curiosity. He watches me like a boy with his first dangerous toy.
“You do this often?” I ask, stupid and small.
He shrugs, a tiny movement that says everything and nothing. “Sometimes.”
“And you are careful?” My hands tremble, and I hate how shaky my voice sounds.
“Careful is boring,” he says. It is a throwaway line but the way he delivers it means something else. It means he does not value the things that should be kept safe.
We move again because bodies are traitors. There is sweat, and breath, and the realness of skin against skin. It is loud in a way that makes me ashamed, and I do not think about anything but the raw, hot now, which is exactly the point. He is all edges and no apology, and I am both terrified and relieved to be allowed to be wanted, even if it is a shallow sort of wanting.
After, there is a heavy quiet. The city comes back like someone adjusting a dimmer. He dresses without ceremony. He does not ask for my number. He does not say stay. He does not say anything that pretends this was more than it was.
“Now leave,” he says, and it is more a direction than a request.
I grab my things with hands that are clumsy. I can barely bend my fingers right. My dress is twisted, my hair plastered to my neck. I think about saying something brilliant, about calling him out for how hollow it felt, about demanding an explanation. Instead I say something small and useless.
“You will forget me tomorrow,” I say, because that is a thing people say when they want to sound brave.
He looks at me like he has been waiting for that to be said. “Maybe,” he says. “Or maybe I will remember you because you are an interesting mistake.”
“Interesting mistake,” I repeat, and the words fall flat in the elevator.
Outside, the air is colder than the apartment. I pull my coat tighter even though it is too thin. The street is still buzzing with other people who did not sleep, who apartment share and ride the train and rehearse meetings and do not have men like Jordan Kings inviting them up to their buildings. The normal people keep moving, unaware of the small private wars some of us start in the dark.
I walk home like the city is different now, like it moved under me in a way that shifted something I cannot undo. I aim for the cafe that is open all night, because walking helps. The neon makes my eyes water. I think of how my sketches will be different, darker maybe, or softer if I dared to tell the truth, and I am angry at myself for thinking of work already.
Halfway through the hallway, I stand there for a long minute, letting the city spin, waiting for the feeling to fade. It does not. It lingers like a secret planted too close to the surface.
When I get home I throw my dress on the chair. I do not shower. I do not wash the lipstick off my hand. Instead I sit on the edge of the bed and my phone lights up with a missed call I do not recognize. A number. No name. No message. My thumb hovers over it like it is a trap.
I do not call back. I can hear his voice behind my eyes though, calm and close, saying something that sounded a lot like a promise or a warning. I do not know which it was.
At two in the morning my phone buzzes. A text. From an unknown number.
You will come alone tomorrow, it says, and the line is his handwriting translated into pixels.
I stare at it like a dare. My chest squeezes. I do not know whether to be terrified or flattered. I do not know whether I am safe. I do know that when I close my eyes, I see his hand at my hip, like a brand.
I sleep poorly, if at all, the way people sleep when a storm is coming and the roof feels thin. The message sits in my phone, unreadable and loud.
Tomorrow will tell whether I was just a one night or something else. Tomorrow will show whether his words are the beginning of a chess game, or a countdown.
Either way I am not sure I want to know. But I will go.
Joanna POV
Four weeks after the night I barely remember and every night I can never forget, my life starts being boring again, and then not. It’s like someone flips a switch between normal and chaos.
I tell myself I’m back at work to prove I’m fine. I’m not fine. I’m tired in a way that coffee does not touch. My sketches look flat. My hand shakes when I cut fabric. I throw up once after lunch, blame the spice, laugh at myself, then lie to my friend over the phone that I’m just exhausted.
The truth is quieter. The truth waits until later.
The day Josiah shows up I am in the middle of fitting a dress for a small client, pins in my mouth, tape measure around my neck, the studio smelling like coffee and old glue. I don’t expect anyone. People who come here usually text first, or show up with an appointment. This man just walks in like he has rights.
He is not Jordan. Not even close. Younger, looser in the shoulders, a smile that lands soft and honest. He looks at everything with this curious thing, like he is reading all my bad choices and still wants to know more.
“Joanna Rivers?” he asks. He says my name like he’s testing it for weight, not like a rich man trying to sound down to earth.
“That’s me,” I say, pinning a seam. My hands are clumsy, and I don’t like how they tremble when I notice his face. “Can I help you?”
He plucks a fabric swatch with two fingers like he’s touching a new idea. “Your work has an edge. It’s raw in a good way.” He grins, disarming. “I’m Josiah Kings.”
The name drops like a rock. My head tips, a bad noise slips out of me. Kings. Of course. The city talks about them like mythology, but they move in real life too, like everyone else—just with more money and fewer feelings.
“You’re Jordan’s brother,” I say before I can stop the sound. It comes out like a question and a warning.
He shrugs, not insulted. “Yeah. I just got back to town. Thought I’d see what the city smells like now.” He laughs, not a king laugh. It is softer. “Your designs. I like the way you do collars. You make things people will wear hard.”
I want to be defensive. I want to pitch him prices, ask who he knows, tell him I am not interested in connections. Instead I find myself talking, telling him where I grew up, my stupid first attempts at sewing, my father teaching me to measure straight.
He listens, actually listens. He leans on the counter and there is an easy way about him, like a warm jacket you want to pull around you. He asks about my father, and I say his name—the thing I hardly say out loud—because some people only get to be past tense.
“My mother mentioned a Rivers,” Josiah says, half to himself. He lights up when he says it like he found a missing puzzle. “Margaret used to hire your dad for small jobs at Kings textiles. Said he had an eye. Then something happened, that’s what she said, and it got ugly.”
My skin goes cold. I hear the word ugly echo in the space between us. For a second I see my father behind a desk, tired and small, and then a ledger folded in his drawer with a name on it—Kings. I think of the last time I looked through his things, how I found a pay stub and shoved it back because grief is heavy and curiosity is dangerous.
“You know my father?” I ask, trying to sound casual. It comes out raw.
Josiah shrugs like he hates the answer and likes it at once. “Family business. Lots of stories. Sometimes the people who do the work are the ones you forget to thank.”
He pushes one of my sketches back to me. “Don’t let them forget you.” No one has ever said that about my work without wanting something. There is no transaction in his voice. Just...observation. It hits me more than the money I don’t have.
He leaves his card, not a business card with logos slammed across it, just his name and a number, like an invitation without strings. He walks out of my life calm, like he hasn’t set anything in motion and like he has no idea he did.
The week after, the nausea gets louder. I miss my period and think, at first, that stress is finally doing me in. Designers have terrifyingly unstable cycles. My body has been a mess forever. But then the food I used to love tastes like metal, and I wake up at three a.m. dizzy and sweating, and I start to worry.
I buy a test on a Tuesday because it feels like the only honest act I can do. I stand in the tiny grocery store bathroom, the fluorescent light making me look guilty, and I hold the strip like it is radioactive. My hands shake the entire way home. I wait until I am inside my apartment, lock the door because the city feels too loud, because privacy feels like a thin scarf, and then I do it.
The two lines appear like a verdict. I laugh and it is ugly and high and then I throw up in the sink and I laugh again because there is this ridiculous comedy to the timing of everything. The world is a small cruel joke sometimes, and I am the punchline.
It is Jordan’s face that floods me first, not Josiah’s. Jordan, who said “we were never anything” and “you’re a mistake,” before. Jordan, who left after the mess and gave me a terse card and a cold look. What will he want if I tell him? What will he do if I don’t? The rules in his world are not ours.
I sit on the floor, test in hand, and my phone buzzes. Of all days. My hands are shaking and I nearly drop it.
The text is from Mara, my friend and the loudest voice of ruined nights. She asks if I want to meet, do drinks, this nonsense. I almost type yes then stop. Instead I call her.
“Sheesh,” she says when she picks up. “You sound like death. Spill.”
I say nothing. How do you tell someone you might be carrying a billionaire's child, that you made a mistake that could ruin your life or remake it, that your father’s old name is tangled in the very fabric of the family who might take everything? The words do not fit into the mouth the way they should.
“Tell me,” she says finally. “Whatever it is, don’t do it alone. If you run, I’ll run with you.”
I swallow, because the idea of being brave in public is a busted thing for me. “I’m scared,” I say. “I’m really scared.”
“And call Josiah,” she says, like it is obvious. “Maybe the Kings family has more than one heart. God, I sound insane. Call him.”
I listen, and the sound of his name, Josiah, makes something open and ache in me. I do not call him. Not yet. I am not ready to let anyone see this raw.
Then my phone buzzes again, and it is not Mara. It is a message from an unknown number, short and cold and precise.
Meet me at my office, it says. Ten a.m, Monday. Come alone.
It is Jordan’s handwriting translated into pixels. For a second I cannot breathe. My stomach curls. I hold the test like proof against the world. The idea of seeing him wakes a panic in me that feels like a live thing.
Maybe he is calling me in to gloat. Maybe he has no clue. Maybe he will offer help, because billionaires do odd things sometimes. Maybe he will want control. Maybe he will take the thing I haven’t even decided belongs to me.
I stack my options like plates I can’t afford to drop. Call Josiah. Tell Mara. Burn the test in the sink. Throw my phone in the river. Move to another country. None of it feels real.
I look at the card Josiah left on my counter. His name, simple, friendly. I think of my father and his pay stubs and the ledger folded inside a drawer, and I think—if the past is tangled with the Kings, then this is not just my stupid personal disaster. This is a knot with teeth.
Monday is three days away. It is an eternity and no time at all. I should probably sleep. I do not. I sit up, test clutched in my fist like a secret, and try to plan like someone who knows what the stakes are, who has been doing the math of survival since she was a kid scraping coins for fabric.
Outside my window, the city keeps breathing, lights blink, cabs cut across puddles. Inside, my phone sits face up with his message, the letters sharp. I think about how easy it would be to run, and I think about how maybe for once I should stop running and face what’s coming.
But the truth is I’m not built for brave. I have to teach myself. I have to gasp and learn to stand.
I set the test on the bedside table, like a thing I cannot hide and cannot throw away. Then I open my laptop and look at Josiah’s number, and then at Jordan’s message, and for the first time in a long time I feel the world close around me in a way that says one thing, loud and final.
Someone else already knows I exist, and it’s not going to be small or quiet.
Monday will tell.
Joanna POV
I woke up feeling like my heart might actually burst out of my chest. You know that feeling when you've done something so stupid that your body physically rejects the memory? That was me. My mouth felt like sandpaper, and somehow my hair had managed to glue itself to my cheek with what I'm pretty sure was stress sweat. Gross, but whatever.
The room had that weird twilight thing going on where you can't tell if it's 6 AM or 6 PM, and honestly? I didn't want to know. My brain kept screaming at me to get up and deal with whatever mess I'd made, but my body was having none of it. Classic.
And then it all came flooding back. Jordan Kings. His hands. The way he looked at me like he owned me. God, what was I thinking? Actually, that's the problem, I wasn't thinking at all.
I squeezed my eyes shut so hard I saw stars, like maybe if I concentrated hard enough I could just... delete last night. Spoiler alert: doesn't work that way.
My phone started buzzing somewhere in the bedsheets, and I nearly had a heart attack. I didn't even look at it, just grabbed it and shoved it under my pillow like it was radioactive. My stomach did this weird flip-flop thing. Not exactly nausea, just... wrong.
Eventually I dragged myself out of bed because lying there wallowing wasn't going to fix anything. The floor was freezing against my bare feet, and of course I managed to scrape my heel on the bed frame. "Son of a…" I muttered, way too loud. My neighbor's probably used to my drama by now.
In the kitchen, I found this chipped mug I've been meaning to throw away for months, there's this crack right down the middle that makes it look as broken as I felt. The water tasted like pennies, but I drank it anyway because my throat felt like the Sahara.
Three sharp knocks at the door made me freeze mid-gulp.
My first thought: Jordan. Somehow he'd tracked me down, ready to finish whatever twisted game we'd started. My chest got so tight I thought I might actually pass out right there in my kitchen.
But I opened the door anyway, because apparently I make terrible decisions even when I'm sober.
Josiah.
He's always been the tall one, but standing there in my doorway he looked like he could block out the sun. And that smile, God, that crooked little smile that makes you forget he's related to his nightmare of a brother. His eyes were doing that thing where they seem to look right through you, like he'd been waiting his whole life for this exact moment.
"Joanna," he said, and his voice was so gentle it made my chest ache.
I just stood there clutching my stupid broken mug like it could protect me from whatever this was about to become. Some of the water sloshed onto my hand and dripped on the floor, but I couldn't seem to care.
"Can I come in?"
Every rational part of my brain screamed "NO." But my traitorous leg was already stepping aside, and then he was in my space, making my tiny apartment feel even smaller.
"You look like hell," he said, and somehow it didn't sound mean.
"Gee, thanks for the pep talk," I shot back, sharper than I meant to.
He actually laughed, not at me, just... soft and understanding. He leaned against my counter like he belonged there, arms crossed, studying me with those annoyingly perceptive eyes.
"You were with him last night." Not even a question.
I went completely still. Part of me wanted to lie, to pretend I had no idea what he was talking about. But the words wouldn't come.
"Joanna." His voice was so gentle it almost broke me. "Talk to me."
"I don't owe you an explanation," I managed, but even I could hear how weak it sounded.
"No," he agreed. "You don't. But I'd like to hear it anyway."
My hands started shaking so badly I had to put the mug down before I dropped it and added "cleaning up broken ceramic" to my list of problems. "It was a mistake," I whispered.
He let out this long breath, like he'd been holding it forever.
"Of course it was," he said. "Jordan destroys everything good he touches."
I wanted to argue, to defend something, anything but what could I say? Instead, I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly freezing despite the fact that my apartment is basically a sauna.
Josiah took a step closer. Not crowding me, just... there. "You don't have to handle this by yourself," he said.
I laughed, but it came out all bitter and wrong. "What, you're going to swoop in and save me? Play the good guy to his villain? You barely know me."
"I want to know you," he said immediately, and the honesty in it hit me like a truck.
The silence stretched between us, heavy and loaded. I could feel tears threatening and blinked hard, hoping he wouldn't notice. Of course he did.
His hand came up slowly, giving me every chance to pull away. When I didn't move, his fingertips barely brushed my cheek. And God help me, I leaned into it.
"Don't," I whispered, even as every cell in my body was screaming "yes."
"I can't help it," he murmured, thumb tracing just under my eye.
My heart was doing this crazy drumline thing in my chest, scared, angry, hopeful, confused. All at once.
He leaned closer, and I could feel his breath against my skin. I hated how much I wanted this, wanted to replace last night's mistake with something that felt like a choice. His lips were almost touching mine when I heard it.
SLAM.
The door exploded open.
Jordan stood there like he'd stepped out of some dark fairy tale—perfectly pressed suit, hair immaculate, eyes absolutely lethal. He looked from me to Josiah and back again, and I swear the air itself turned sharp enough to cut.
"Well," Jordan said, voice quiet and dangerous. "Isn't this cozy."
I stumbled backward. Josiah immediately moved in front of me, which would have been sweet if the whole situation wasn't completely terrifying.
Jordan's jaw twitched, and he let out this laugh that had nothing funny about it. "Should have known," he said. "My baby brother, always ready to pick up my leftovers."
"Get out," Josiah said, steady as a rock.
"This is my city. My building." Jordan's eyes locked on mine. "My woman. Don't forget that."
My knees almost gave out.
I wanted to scream at him that I wasn't his anything, but the words got stuck somewhere between my brain and my mouth.
"She's not yours," Josiah said through gritted teeth.
Jordan stepped closer, bringing that expensive cologne that was probably worth more than my rent. "Then why," he said, each word precise and cutting, "did she beg me to take her?"
The words hit like a physical blow. I actually felt sick.
Josiah's hands clenched into fists. I could see him fighting every instinct to swing.
And me? I stood there like an idiot, caught between them my body still remembering Jordan's touch, my heart pulling toward Josiah's kindness. It was like being torn in half.
We all just stood there, breathing hard, the tension so thick you could practically taste it.
Jordan's mouth curved into something that might have been a smile on anyone else. On him, it looked predatory. "This isn't over," he said. "We're just getting started."
Then he slammed out, leaving the door rattling in its frame.
The silence afterward was deafening. I was stuck between two brothers who each wanted pieces of me I wasn't sure I could give or if I even had left to give.