CHAPTER FOUR

ALYSSA'S POV

My breathe itches. My body hurts. My eyes burns.

Opening, all I could see was blur, I shut back. Then opened slowly. The sound of slow steady beeping could be identified and all I could see was a white surface.

Where am I?

"Ally!! Alyssa my dear!!"

The voice sounded faded and yet familiar.

"Alyssa!!"

It came louder and clear as I was been wiggle. I turned my eyes to see it was my mom. Her eyes swollen in tiers, yet, she tried to keep up a smile. Slowly, I removed the oxygen mask, ignoring her presistant.

"Mom!" I looked around and then it got clear to me. I was wearing an oxygen mask. The beeping machine beside me as a drip was been passed through my hand.

"Am I in an hospital?"

She nodded with a sniff.

"How long?"

"Four days."

What?

Have been in the hospital for the past Four days?

"How-"

I couldn't finish when the memories of what had happened before I blanked out came flowing back. My eyes were now filled with tiers.

"Oh mom. Am ruined." I cried.

She hugged while trying to hold back her tiers.

"Please don't say that honey. Just stay calm and everything would be alright." She beckoned.

The door opened and walking in was a doctor.

"Oh, good. You are awake."

She smiled, walking towards us as I let go of my mom.

"We would run some more tests and I think she would be able to leave the hospital by tomorrow or the day after." She announced then looked between me and my mom. Her mouth pout.

"Are you sure you don't want to report this? I mean, it's a serious offense." She suggested and I tensed. Report. Was she talking about my incident. I shook my head.

"No. No. please don't. I beg of you."

I don't want to come in face with them ever again. They have no idea how evil those people are. They weren't even been able to be stopped at the club.

"Okay. But you should know that you were seriously brutalled. You were in a bad condition when brought in." She replied which made something stroke in my mind.

"Wait. How did I...get here?"

They both went silent as they glanced at each other.

"Mom?"

"Please can any one just answer me."

My mom signed.

"I got a call from your friend, Amelia. She came by the house panicked and said you were been spotted at the road ally... naked."

I gasped with my hands over my mouth as tiers blur my vision once more. Oh my God! Oh no!!

My mom began tiers as she continued.

"We got there and indeed, it was true. You laid there, unconscious and in a pretty bad state. Blood stains from your lower part and for a while, it seems as if it wasn't stopping. At first, we taught it was just your period but when we got to the hospital....it was confirmed that... You....were rapped." Her tiers followed and I felt like ending myself. Did people see me naked? How would I ever be able to face the world, Myself and most of all... My mom.

"The tests and observation came showing that it was due to continuous sexual abuse. So if I may ask. Who were they?" Asked the doctor. I shrugged.

"I don't know. And really have no idea. I was blindfolded and didn't get to see a thing. Including their faces."

"Their faces. So they were more than one?" The doctor was surprised.

"At least, that am sure of."

"And you are sure you don't want to give a report. Young girls like you usually get traumatized after such incidents." She remarked.

"I just want to go home. Please I just want to be alone." Came my reply as a rested back on the bed and faced the other side where I could avoid the gazes of everyone.

_____§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§______

Days later. I got to school and it was as if news spreads like wild fire. I could feel their gazes and whispers as I walked passed.

"I can't believe it. She's indeed a slut and yet acts like a saint."

"She got herself fucked in the middle of the road ally after being wasted. She's just trying to drag attention. Horny bitch."

"Sure to bring shame and disappointment to her family. I wonder what her poor mom would be facing. It's her fault for giving birth to a slut."

"Everyone knows what's behind that innocent hideous mask of hers now. I wonder what the school is going to do about it."

"Hey Milano!!"

A guy called out making me stop.

"You could have mentioned you wanted a good fuck instead of going to embarrass yourself. Don't you know the guys in your school had some pretty good dicks. We can handle you well for the next time."

He mocked and they all erupted into laughter as I walked away.

I can't believe I just waited to hear that. Was that really what they taught of me, That I purposely got myself rapped! That's really unbelievable.

Through out each classes, it's either they all staired and made fun of me while lecture was going on or I was been bullied. And it was really beginning to get hard to Concentrate.

It was lunch break and I sat all alone by a corner. Yet, devious mocks still went on but I chose to ignore.

Eating on by food, Amelia came to join my table which was surprising. Now they were going to gossip about her too.

"Amelia, what are you doing?" I whispered.

"Eating ofcourse." She acted as if nothing was wrong.

A group of girls passed by and laughed at our direction.

"Listen, I don't want you to get into trouble because -"

"And who said I was bothered about that." She cut in and I was speechless.

"Look. We are friends and I would never leave you in times of troubles. We are in this together."

A little smile formed on my face.

"Thank you. But people are saying things about me -"

"And I know they are all rumors. You aren't someone like that." She smiled as if having full trust in me and it gladdened my heart. At least, someone else trusts me aside my Mom.

"But to say the truth. People are gossiping-"

"I know." I cut in. "They are calling me a slut and believed it was just me whoring myself into a man's length. But seriously, what's done is done so that's less of my worries. I need to focus now, more on my mom. I don't know how she feels about all these."

I spoke retrained.

Later on, I sat at the library, trying to concentrate on my reading when I felt someone sat beside me only to see that it was Marcus. His brown hair rested against his forehead as always.

I quickly swift myself.

"Hey!" He called my attention and I couldn't help but feel awkward. Even though we were at the library, so many eyes were still on us.

"Are you alright?" He asked on noticing my discomfort and I decided to come clean.

"Am sure you would have heard the rumors going round school about me"

"So?"

He shrugged as if it was nothing. Why do they always love doing that?

"You aren't affected?" I asked, surprised and he gave a brief laugh.

"I don't care about what other people say or gossip about. Your life is yours alone to live in. Regardless of what you do, people would always talk. So just believe in yourself and act like the world revolves only around you." He encourage and his words really helped...alot. I smiled and he offered to join in with the study which I gladly accepted.

Life after that slowly began to seem cool and as days passed by, I slowly learn to get off my shell.

But not until.... that happened.

My symptoms gave my mother and I some suspicions so we decided to head to the hospital. And it can out positive, I was pregnant.

CHAPTER 5

ALYSSA'S POV

A resounding slap landed on my mom's face making her fall to the ground.

"What a bitch you are. You and your slut excuse of a daughter. How dare she get pregnant in my house and under my nose!!"

My dad was outrageous. even in his drunk state, he was mad after my mom decided to inform him about my pregnancy. But I can't let him blame her. It wasn't her fault. He was about dragging her off the floor when I ran to him in tiers.

"Father please stop. It wasn't her fault. Mother never knew when it happened."

"But she did know it happened."

He turned to me and grabbed my hair tightly.

"Fifteen years old pregnant girl. Aren't you just a whore. Opening those stupid legs of yours to get fucked." He spat.

"It wasn't my fault either father. I was rapped." I cried.

Suddenly, he let go of me and erupted into laughter.

"How pathetic. Who would want to sleep with someone like you. Do you think you're that pretty? Although, you'd ruined my plan of selling off your virginity. You skank."

He slapped me now in anger.

"Am sick of this place. I don't even want to see your faces." He outaged then walked out. I crawled up to my mum who was already in tiers.

How long could I hid it from the world. I was carrying a child which was a result and the product of rape.

______________§§§§§§§________________

I stood Infront of my room mirror for some reason even I don't understand. I tried examining myself. Strangely, I had slowly began to change. My breast and gotten fuller than before. Not as if it was small, but at least okay to be called a normal size. But now...

I raised my hands to my breast and squeezed lightly but immediately stopped with a hiss. It hurt and aches, alot. Indeed my breast had gotten a little swollen and heavier.

Slowly, I moved my hands to the him of my top, then raised it up to my breast level. Staring at my reflection through the mirror, my hand gazed at my still flat stomach. It isn't obviouse yet, but for how long.

I long will I keep my mom with this shame and embarrassment?

Her only crime was ever birthing a child like me.

My hand romed round my belly and the doctor's words right before we left the hospital rang again in my head like a flash back.

___________________________________

"I advised She doesn't gets an abortion." She suggested. And my mom's eyes had glimed.

"What? Why not?" She had asked.

"Listen. Your daughter is still quite young and has a whole life ahead of her, we understand that. But due to the scan, we detect she is an alcer patient and it's close to a bim stage. Are you aware of that?" She asked and my mum nodded.

"Well, you should know that for a stage of an alcer patient like hers it's quite risky to get pregnant especially regarding her tender age. Her system isn't that matured yet and as the foetus develops into a baby, it's starts to react. Moving and kicking in it's mother's belly, and in her case, the baby could kick directly to her inner wounds." She explained. My mom looked at me sadly and shook her head.

"Oh, my baby. That could be really painful." Her voice cracked.

"Yes. That would be part of the reason why we don't suggest an abortion for her cause you can't predict the baby's state and it could end up getting bad for her."

My mom taught for a few seconds before responding. She sat beside me and pat my hair.

"I believe that the Lord would protect you." She whispered, kissing my forehead. "Don't worry baby. Am here for you."

____________________________________

"What are you doing?"

I was too engrossed to know when my Mom had walked in. Through the mirror, I could see her holding a tray of plate. I quickly let down my top and turned, heading to my bed.

"Nothing."

I shrugged as I sat. She came beside me and placed the food on the bed as she sat.

"I know what you are thinking?"

Came her voice after observing.

"Don't." She blurt, shaking her head.

"Mom I-"

"I was married to a minyak, yet I stayed put. Not as if I didn't have a choice. But I just felt it was wrong to have let my guard down and chickened out, at least for your sake. I care about nothing else in this world but you. So everything I do is for your sake." Her voice was calm as she pat my hair.

"But Mom, I don't want to end up like that. Feeling pains and guilt for the rest of my life. And please try to understand. I can't let a silly act ruin my life."

I was ruined already. So I wasn't going to keep the memory of a shameful act.

"Do you think I also never dreamt big. And you heard the doctor, I can't risk lossing you. And In life, we don't always get to call the shots. I hope you would learn to understand."

I looked away and staired out the window. I really can't seem to figure her out sometimes.

"You haven't had anything to eat all morning. So I brought you this."

I looked at her as she turned to open the plate, handed it over to me with a fork. It was spaghetti sauce with some olives at the toppings.

My stomach twitched at the sight of it.

Holding the fork, I digged in. It felt odd as the aroma hit my nostrils, which was unusual cause it wasn't my first time eating it.

Stuffing into my mouth, I forced myself to chew down.

"You know, when you were little, you did alot kind of funny things. You were a little genius. You've always been." As my Mom continued to talk, I was down on my third spoon when it couldn't go anymore. Everything from my stomach came rushing back to my throat and I jerked towards the bathroom, puking it all into the toilet.

I felt my mom's hand patting my back in the process and once done, I washed up.

"I thought you loved that?" She raised a brown.

"I guess not anymore." I signed.

LUNCH BREAK

It was lunch break at school while I spent almost half my day in the toilet, throwing up what's left of a food in my body.

I have been so distained. No friends or whatsoever. And surprisingly, I haven't been seeing Amelia at school. Would have tried giving her a call but my phone was already jupertised.

My bud hit me again and I threw up over the sink.

"What's wrong with you?"

I gasped at the voice only to look behind and see it was Ruby. I wipped my mouth.

"Why do you care?"

Even though am worried about her, am not sure if I should trust her anymore.

"I know you are mad at me. But can we at least seat to talk?" She suggested.

CHAPTER 6

____________ALYSSA'S POV____________

We sat under a tree where eyes wouldn't really be on us as I staired at her patently waiting for her to begin.

"Okay. I heard about what happened and am sorry. I really am." She began.

"So you really think it was okay to ditch me huh!"

"I didn't mean to okay. I was scared that you would tell everyone that I was the one who took you to a club where you got wasted." She mumbled.

"You also thought I got wasted?" I scoffed. "It doesn't matter. No one believes me anyway."

"Okay. Let's just forget it okay. Like, what could possibly go wrong?" She tried covering up with a smile.

"Am pregnant, Ruby." I thought it was wise of her to know since she was the main start cause of it.

"What! How is that even possible?"

She glared at me in disgust. Is she really a friend to be called?

"How is it possible? Ruby, when you have sex then you are most likely to get pregnant but unfortunately for me, I didn't have the previlage here because I was raped instead, at the fucking night club you took me to while you disappeared on me without any traces." I grunt but tried to keep my voice low inorder not to call attention.

"So did you tell anyone about my involvement?" Her voice was now calm and I shook my head in response, looking at my hands on the table.

"It doesn't matter. Am ruined anyway."

We both went silent. Then she signed.

"How many people knows about the pregnancy?" She asked.

"No one. Except my mom and the doctor who announced it."

I felt like it wasn't necessary to have said that last part but it was already out.

"Okay. I know of a doctor. So why don't you go for an abortion?"

My eyes beamed on hers.

"The doctor had said it was risky."

I had explained but she shook her head.

"That doctor isn't capable then. I have a doctor that would never disappoint. And don't worry, the costs are on me." She smiled but I wasn't sure to go on with this. She sensed my hesitation and replied.

"Alyssa, please don't think too much about it. I wouldn't want my best friend to leave her life carrying a bastered's child and to ruin her dreams."

She was right at this point. Carrying the baby would mean sacrificing alot of my dreams and future. And I can't let that happen.

I hoped you would forgive me mom.

I nodded at Ruby and with a smile, she grabbed my hand.

"Come with me."

______________________________________

It's been days already since Ruby took me for the abortion and it happened. The doctor had said I might notice some pains and few blood but it was normal. And indeed, it came.

Sometimes I would wake up in the morning and find my bed and panties stained but would quickly clean up before my mom would see it or notice.

I haven't told her yet cause if I do at this point, she might panic. But I do have the intentions of coming clean with her after I had fully recovered. After all, she's my mom.

Plus, Ruby and I had gotten closer once again. Not like before, but enough to make back up for lost times. Sure enough, I would be a fool to fully trust her that easily.

I headed to my school locker and was about to open when I felt someone spook me up from behind.

"Booo!!"

I jerked my chest only to see it was Amelia. She laughed.

"You scared me."

Her laughter went on as I said so.

"Am sorry. But you really are unbelievable. Didn't you at least missed me while I was gone?" She pout.

"I most admit. You do behave mysterious at times." I spoke as I took my textbooks out of the locker.

"Where were you anyways?" I was now facing her.

She signed.

"You know my mom had never liked you for some reasons."

I nodded, knowing how her mom could really be. They was a time, she treatened to get me out of school and make my mom's life a living hell if I don't stay away from her daughter. Like, who threatens a child in this century.

"I was sent to Panama." She added which got me surprised.

"She wanted you to switch schools because of me?"

She nodded.

"And she would make sure we never see eachother again."

Shish.

Some people are indeed sick. I mean, we are in our finals already.

"We are not some kind of runaway lovers now, are we?"

She laughed.

"Now forget about that. I heard you've been pretty closer back with Ruby."

She said her word in a groaning manner as I shut my locker.

"Actually, it's not really that way. Quite more complicated." I prolonged.

"What do you mean?"

I was sure she would ask. Looking around to make sure no one was close, I moved closer to her and whispered.

"I was pregnant, and Ruby help me get rid of the baby."

I explained making her eyes shoot out.

"What!!"

She almost screamed to drag everyone's attention but quickly covered her mouth. Then glared at me.

"Don't look at me like that. If you were the one in my position that what would you have done." I frowned. She shouldn't let me regret tell her cause I only did because she is a great friend.

Removing the hand from her mouth, she signed.

"Does your mom knows?" She asked.

"She doesn't know about the abortion yet. But I would tell her when I feel is right." I explained but she shook her head.

"I still feel this is wrong."

She said and it just made me a little pissed.

"I don't care what anyone thinks anymore okay. It's my life so why should I let people be a judged of it." I hissed.

"Am sorry. I just want to make sure you are okay." Her soft tone proclaimed making me feel bad.

"Am fine as you can see so no need to worry too much." I assured as we walked to class. She departed to hers after giving me a hug and I went in for my chemistry practical which should be today.

Marcus was already seated on our table. He waved at me with a flash smile once spotted and all dargered eyes snapped at me making me almost freeze on my spot. Precisely, Marcus hardly smiled and there he was, even waving at me. Gulping down my dry throat, I walked towards our table ignoring the stairs.

"Hey!"

I greeted, putting my bag aside.

"You look nice." He commented making me try hiding my blush.

"Thanks." I smiled.

Mr sky walked in with a question paper which he shared all round the table as he spoke.

"So the first test is going to be a partnership test. You'll group with another group partner to identify the chemical and Iupac naming of some equations you would be asked to mix. The questions are all written on the papers."

He explained. A girl at the back raised her hand up for questioning.

"Yes, miller."

"Mr sky. Are we suppose to choose our opposite partners?" She asked.

"No. The question would choose you instead. Only two people as same questions. So I would start with you miller. Come out to read your question, so who so ever finds it similar would be your partner."

Everyone looked at each other, nervous of who would be their partner.

Miller stood Infront of the class and hexitately, she read her questions.