Ollie. "

My sigh carried the silence of peace and resonated with my soul. And with a little luck, his too.

"Ollie."

My dissatisfied whining.

"Ollie!"

My cry at the climax of the nights that only belonged to the two of us.

His face is indelible and burned into my memories. Indestructible.

Long black hair all around shaved and pulled into a ponytail. A silver tunnel in each ear. So the left one was decorated with three more surgical steel earrings. Tongue piercing. The scar under my eyebrows and the bewitching look of the chocolate eyes, which darkened with desire and hid so many secrets that I had no idea. And also the body of a demigod.9

Just looking at him for more than three seconds made me press my thighs together. And what if he looked at me.

But it has been more than five years.

Five.

And he kept coming back to me in his dreams.

Just like today.

I woke up sweaty with a fading orgasm and a blanket crumpled between my thighs. My heart was pounding and I could barely breathe smoothly. I blinked into the darkness and reached for the phone on the bedside table. It was a little past three-thirty.

Well, that's fucking great.

What was even better about the hair?

Text by David: Are you at work tomorrow? I could stop by for lunch.

I just whimpered, tossed my cell phone back, trying to think of a hundred and one reasons why I would have dreamed of my friend, whom I had dated for almost two years.

David was a nice guy too. His tousled blond hair, pale blue eyes that hid absolutely nothing, and his developed body were even more muscular than Ollie's. But that was not the case. Watching Ollie walk was like watching a beast hunt. There was something about him that made me watch his every move, that kept me keeping an eye out because he could attack at any time. At any time. And David was just ...

Wait, why did I actually compare them?

Damn.

This was not fair to me from David. He was a faithful and good friend. Everything about him was safe and familiar. Being with him was as sure as the sun rising tomorrow.2

Anything could go to hell with Ollie at any time.

In addition, he sang in the band. Believing a singer is in itself quite a stupid thing.

Good and enough.

It's time for a cold shower and a book, because I'm probably not going to sleep today.

***

What did I not expect? That I would really fall asleep - with my nose buried in the book - and I would be able to fall asleep to work in the morning.

I called my colleague and longtime friend June, but she didn't answer, so I had to move my ass seriously.

I rushed into the bathroom, quickly changed my morning hygiene, highlighted my dark blue eyes with mascara and black lines, and pulled my red hair into a very casual bun. That will have to be enough.

I ran to the bedroom to the closet. Little time for contemplation forced me to choose an easy standard. I pulled on torn light blue jeans, a white tank top, a plaid red-white shirt, and added a white Conversky. Then I grabbed a "Zen as fuck" canvas bag that put a wallet, cell phone, headphones, and a book.

Then all I had to do was run down ten floors, which was faster than the local elevator, and I dashed in front of the house. So I caught the tram at the stop on the corner.

Breathless, I sat down on the seat and called June again. Without success.2

She will surely kill me.

June wasn't the type to mess with anyone, and she certainly didn't like it when I arrived late for the morning shift, which was usually the biggest blast of customers demanding their first coffee on a new day.

To calm down a bit, I stumbled upon my deep blue space-themed headphones and played Under And Over It from Five Finger Death Punch on the iPod. This music sometimes worked even better than the morning coffee.

I got off six stops and two more streets ran. Along the way, I checked the time and incoming calls. I was an hour late.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

As I ran, I pulled my headphones around my neck and rushed into the cafe like a lot of water. I glanced at the tables and boxes by the wall. I was reassured that fortunately it wasn't full that it was Friday morning. A lot of people used this day to get away from work, and most of the time June and I didn't stop much. Today, however, my luck was playing luck.

June stood behind the bar and looked around bored. As soon as she saw me, her face lit up. She was a small blonde of small stature with her hair cut to her shoulders and a bang that was so long that it crawled into her bright green eyes. And to top it all off, she was the owner of two show dimples in her face. She looked like a cute doll until she opened her mouth.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She asked cheerfully instead of greeting. "Did David sleep with you?"

I shook my head. "She did not sleep. I just fell asleep, "I explained very briefly, and I definitely didn't intend to elaborate further.

I ran around the counter into the staff room, took my shirt and headphones off my neck, took my green apron, and returned to her. The whole thing couldn't take more than a minute and a half.

I finally took a break as I stood next to June and pulled the apron strap over my head. "Good morning," I said, trying to smile.

"Yeah, that's right," she said like a cat.

I chuckled and tied the two cords at the back of my shoulders. "So excited that there are few people?"

She waved her pink-painted nails at my question. "But not the hell. What am I after? I'm looking forward to the end of my shift, Chad is in town. "

And shit.

A. Do. Pr. The. Le.

Chad was her older brother. But he didn't interest me at all now, but at all.

I leaned against the counter next to my friend. "Seriously? That you haven't mentioned it before? "

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Well ... I guess you assumed you saw leaflets pasted around town. In fact, I really thought I told you about it. Didn't she say? "

Leaflets? What the hell flyers?

I shook my head.

"Clearly. So Fallen have a concert here at the House of Blues tomorrow, "she told me almost solemnly." Which is just great, because they've been working on it for almost a year, you know. "

I rested my chin on my palm, and I had just pierced my head with a forty-five Colt. "Um, um ... So that means ..."

She shot me emerald eyes, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. "That the whole band is here. Yeah."

Shit!

How many times already?

But if I'm careful, I won't even meet him, do I? I'll avoid him somehow, somehow ...

"Actually, Chad said something about him getting ready to move soon, so-"

"Moving?" I interrupted, strangled. No. It would kill me.

"Yeah. It was their manager's idea. Everyone in the band still works normally, but they seem to have a better chance of success here. "She shrugged. She studied my face for a moment. Did he look as cramped as I felt?" Are you going to the concert with me tomorrow? "

No. No. Not a hundred times.

"I will make my mind up. But I think we have something to do with David, "I said immediately.

June looked disappointed. "But no, Tate. Guys are sure to see you. Chad asked this how you were. And I bet Zack and Matt would love to see you. "

Of course she didn't mention Ollie. She knew what had happened between us, everything came to her first hand. But she had no idea that I still dreamed of him, or that I had thought of him disgustingly lately. "Then you're really stupid, because it's true."

Fortunately, the door opened at that moment and a new visitor appeared.

Still that. I was not ready for a cross-examination. Not after that dream.

The morning passed surprisingly fast and I didn't even have time to take a good look at the cell phone that remained in the staff room. (And now I'm kind of lying, because I spent every spare moment nervous about Ollie.) However, when David showed up at the door at half past ten, I was surprised. I really didn't remember him.

I certainly wouldn't win the Girlfriend of the Year award.

I smiled broadly and walked around the counter. David was in a suit today. He studied law and sometimes went to court for internships, so I wasn't surprised. He took care of his appearance. Even his blond hair was gelled and combed back.

He walked over to me, pulled me into his arms, and looked around the cafe before saying, "You didn't write me a message, but I decided to risk it anyway."

I smiled uncertainly. "Oh yeah. I'm sorry, there was a rush and I totally missed it. "

He put a quick kiss on my lips. "It's nothing." Then he released me and looked back at June. "Hi, how are you today?"

June grinned from behind the counter. "Like every day. People are being killed. "

Also, none of the customers were close enough to hear her.

Damn, she surprised me when she said again, "Dave, don't you want to go to the concert with us tomorrow?" She looked almost innocent as she stood there, biting the end of the pencil.

Maybe I'll consider killing her.

She must have known I just didn't want to go there, and now she was trying to push me in every possible way.

David raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to a concert? You didn't mention it to me. "

"She didn't mention it because I didn't know about the concert until this morning. Jun's brother Chad has a band and they're playing at the House of Blues tomorrow. "I think I've mentioned Fallen to him once or twice, but I didn't expect him to remember.

"Ah, that's great, June," he shouted at her immediately. But it didn't seem sincere at the time. Then he added, "House of Blues ... Does that mean metal? Rock?"

Of course. David hated this music and for two years he didn't understand how I could listen to something like that. During the moments together, there was not a single chance that I would play my favorite songs. Not that he forbade me to do it, but I could clearly see in him how it bothered him once I tried.

I nodded. "Yeah, they play metal."

"Hmmm," he growled vaguely. Then he took a breath and added, "Well, even if I really want to, I can't. Dad wants me to go to a meeting with him in Phoenix. I'm told I'll learn something."

He betrayed me. He betrayed.

"Really on the weekend?" I didn't like this. It sounded like I was begging.

David scratched his hair helplessly. "Well, they're some important customers. He had to meet them. "

June applauded enthusiastically behind the counter. "So Tate will be off tomorrow and she can come with me because we will have a Zadar entry," she sang.

I snorted in annoyance. What was I supposed to think of now?

Maybe I could call my mom. Make up a family dinner or ...

My thoughts crumbled to dust when the cafe door opened and a bald figure with a goatee appeared. Chad. Not this. I'm not ready. Because he went after him ...

My knees suddenly stopped working for me.

He still looked the way I remembered him, and yet completely different. The beast's gait, the overcast gaze of the chocolate eyes, the shaved ponytail that had become a bun over the years, tunnels, and other earrings. Tattoos have been added. On the left arm, a motif of three pictures stretched from the wrist to the sleeve of the T-shirt - on the forearm it was the lower half of the woman's face, a palms raised in front of her lips, a clock above her and the silhouette of a kneeling man disappearing under the sleeve. holding a sword. The second piece was on the neck, but from my point of view, I couldn't tell exactly what the motive was. It also seemed to me that he was much more muscular than before. But it could easily have been a false impression, because my brain just couldn't think anything objectively about Ollie.

Chad smiled broadly as June ran to meet him and began to greet him warmly.

Ollie just watched for a moment, then his eyes began to wander around the cafe. They ended up stuck on me. I wanted to bite my lip, but I was able to stop it at the last minute. Instead, I fidgeted, and on that occasion I realized that David was holding me around the waist. When did this happen?

Ollie's jaw clenched strangely, and I preferred to look away from David. He looked down at me. How long have you been? "I'll have to go, honey. So he won't see me until next week, will he? "He pulled me close and kissed me. I felt like I was drowning. Too bad I don't have time to stop tonight. Dad and I are leaving in the afternoon. "

Damage. Maybe sex with my own boyfriend could distract me, at least for a while, from the bastard who kept my head busy, even when it wasn't appropriate at all.1

I nodded. "Yeah. Damage. But we'll make up for it next week. "We'll make sure up. I have to get this temporary craziness out of my head!

David smiled. "So enjoy the concert tomorrow." He seemed almost relieved that he didn't have to go there with us.

"Thanks. Let me know when you're there so I don't have to worry about you. "

"Of course," he said before turning to leave. He just waved at June and walked out the door.

I was probably red on my ass, because it seemed to me as if I could feel Ollie's gaze on me. And I hated him for it. I hated him for just thinking about watching my boyfriend.

I took a deep breath and was about to fit into the staff room, but June called to me, "Dad! Come here, damn it. The boys have great news! "

I'd give my whole paycheck for not having to go to them.

I bit my face from the inside and came up with the disjointed crowd. June looked like a blond angel between the two men dressed in black. And now her enthusiasm and pride shone in all directions. "Fallen will release an album! Do you understand? A real album! "She shouted before I could say anything.

I smiled broadly and this time it was real. I knew they had been working on it for over five years. They deserved it. "That's great. Congratulations! "I said mainly to Chad. I left Ollie somewhere in my peripheral vision.

"Nice to see you, Tate. How long has it been? Two years? "Jun's brother asked with a smile. His gray eyes twinkled. It almost seemed to me that he knew I was avoiding them all. In most cases, when they arrived in town, I preferred to go somewhere away. it worked so I saw no reason to change it.

I nodded. "Yeah, two years, Chad. By the way, you haven't changed at all. "

"But neither do you," he said amusedly. "Except for the blond, he's new."

I cleared my throat and shot Ollie. He stood there with his hands in his pockets and didn't seem to be listening to us. He looked through the shop window on the street.

"Yeah, it's David. I started dating him shortly after our last meeting. He's a nice guy, "I replied to Chad's note.

"She's wearing a suit," he said immediately, as if it were a disease.

June cleared her throat.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, he studies law and goes to court ..."

"So you've improved a lot." And this was Ollie. Ollie and his biting tone, which shone beneath my skin and awakened in me the desire to scrape the weight of the look he was now staring at me.

This time, Chad cleared his throat, and June said, "I have to show you something!" Before I knew it, she dragged her brother into the staff room.

Ollie paid no attention to them. He didn't take his chocolate eyes off me when he remarked, "I can't see the ring."

I tried to arm myself, but it hurt. "None, Ollie," I said abruptly.

Even though there were visitors in the cafe, it seemed to me that the two of us were on a desert island. There was no escape from him as he looked at me from under his long black lashes. How did he do this?

"You're staring," he said after a moment.

"No, I don't. I was just ... I was just looking at your neck tattoo, "I explained. It was a lie and we probably both knew it. But still ... at that moment I was struck by the choice of image. Why the anchor?

"Ah," he said calmly, taking a step forward, straight at me. The whole world shrank at the two of us. At Ollie. At the damn scent I never got out of my head. "What about you?"

What?

"Me?" I blurted out without thinking. He confused me, because I had just remembered one memory of driving out of town ...

"Do you have a tattoo, too?" He muttered, leaning forward a little.

He shortened the distance between us again.

Oxygen is just running out in our small world. I took a hard breath. "I have. Yeah. Yeah. I have. Even two. "

Why the hell did I say that?

Ollie pulled the corner of his mouth in a half-smile and began to study my body carefully from top to bottom. And back again.

I had to suppress a strong desire to cover my hands or run. Neither would be dignified. But the fact was, I felt naked in front of him. And what was worse? He knew how naked I looked.

He licked his lip and exhaled, "Where exactly?"

He didn't care. Nothing. And yet I tossed between the urge to bat him and the urge to tell him, and to unleash his imagination about what he couldn't have. In the end, reason prevailed: "It's none of your business."

He looked away and grinned. "And your doll approves of it?"

"What, please?" I shouted, perhaps too frightened.

He took another step forward and I hit my back on the counter. There was no escape. Ollie leaned over and snarled at me indignantly, "Dad, what the hell did he do to you? You're like exchanged. "

I shook my head. "I don't know what it's about-"

"But you know," he growled. "The girl I knew would have sent me to hell a long time ago. But you. You're insecure, confused and shy." It sounded like serious accusations from his mouth.1

I grabbed the counter behind me. "People are changing, they are evolving. I've learned to compromise and be nice to people, Ollie. "

He frowned. "You mean you can't stand your way and you're pretending."

It wasn't even a question. He just said it. As a completely unquestionable fact.

"I don't care about your wise advice in life," I snapped at him, still feeling cornered.3

He visibly tensed. "Of course not," he confirmed, stepping away from me.

I could finally breathe.

At that moment, I heard Chad behind me. "Dad, wouldn't you like to come to our rehearsal today with June? I need to fine-tune the playlist a bit, and it's been a hell of a long time since you've seen us play. I promise we've improved a lot, "he said with a chuckle. In the meantime, he walked in front of me and gave me a bright smile." Then we could go for a beer. " His tone was sincere, and I believed the offer was well-intentioned. We didn't talk for a long time - with him and the rest of the band.

But I had a desire to die at the thought. And the taste definitely grew stronger as Ollie grinned in annoyance.

June, on the other hand, looked like an enthusiastic dog just waiting for me to nod.

I might survive one night, right? And even if I go to that concert tomorrow, I wouldn't have to meet Ollie at all. I'll just go straight to the boiler and that's it.

Plus, I was really curious about how they actually played after that time. I've always liked their music. The boys controlled their instruments precisely, and Ollie's voice was simply ...

Okay, that's enough.

I sighed and nodded. "Oh yeah. I'll come. "As soon as I let the words out of my mouth, I felt like I was making a mistake.

Cardinal error.

But June shone like a smaller sun and she immediately told me she would pick me up at six. There was no going back.

I stood in the bathroom, staring in the mirror at my reflection. Neither he nor I felt like what was to come today. I felt torn inwardly while he looked so outward. The long black hair, pulled down in a ponytail, already needed a fresh bottom. In each ear a silver tunnel, the left is decorated with three more surgical steel earrings. He had ugly dark circles under his brown eyes, and the scar under his left eyebrow seemed even brighter white than ever. He wasn't ready for it. Neither he nor I.

I let the cold water run in the sink and waited a while for it to run out to be icy. I then rinsed my face several times. It was like a freezing slap that didn't work for me anyway.

But it was worth a try.

I dried myself, glanced at the mirror again, and tried to smile.

My facial muscles contracted and my reflection looked like he was having a kidney colic.1

Oh great.

I removed the strange grin from my face and left the bathroom. I returned to the room, ignored the general mess, and headed for my backpack. At that moment, I noticed that I had forgotten to turn off the computer. Damn. I've probably been late now, but I'd rather spend a lot of time checking out and waiting for the store to shut down. I didn't need my mom rummaging through this until I got home.

With a backpack thrown over one shoulder, I then flew out of the room and ran down the stairs to the ground floor. Mom was sitting by the kitchen island, which was the imaginary boundary between the kitchen and the living room. Her short black hair was trimmed into a mikada, which was shorter at the back and longer at the front, her hazel eyes gleamed strangely, and her red nails tapped into the worktop completely out of rhythm. She looked good. But maybe it was just that she applied more makeup than usual.

"Hello, Mom!" I yelled at her, about to disappear into Bond's.

"Ollie!" Her cry stopped me. She got up from her coffee and gave me a stern look that mixed a lot of things I didn't want to understand at the moment.

I stopped, took a breath, and waited.

Mom folded her arms across her chest, as if she needed to hold together somehow. "Don't forget to visit the counselor, as the headmistress recommended."

"Does it really have to be today?" I snapped at her, quite annoyed.

Now the phrase 'I want to be a good mom, but I know it's too late,' appeared on her face. "She really has to. You know that was one of the conditions for your admission to Discovery. "

Discovery High School was an average public school and was suitable for me for two reasons. Reason number one: She didn't cost my mom a penny and that was good because she couldn't afford more. Reason number two: They didn't want to take me anywhere else.

So I had to leave the barracks fifteen minutes earlier to make it to school in time because it was two miles away. And I also had no idea how long parking would take me there. Although I somehow assumed that there would probably not be so many people with their own cars in the state. I owned a Ford Mustang from the '65. That was probably the only thing I could thank Dad for. But that never happened.

I tucked my hands in my jeans pockets. "Oh yeah. I'll try to stop behind her. "I thought it was closed and ran right out the door before something worse happened here.

I got on the Mustang on the driveway, salted the Psychosocial from Slipknot on the radio, and fired it away. The old neighbor, who was just passing by, picked up his cane and threatened me with it. Luckily I didn't hear him. I bet he didn't give me very nice nicknames right now.

But I didn't care. The last months of my life were drenched in a whirlwind of anger that ate me from within. The path of my life was going nowhere because I didn't want to. I didn't want to think about the future, I didn't want to be reasonable. I wanted to break something and leave my bloody footprints on the face of the world. I wanted to get what burned me alive.

I drummed my fingers to the rhythm of the chorus and sang to the singer. Music was one of the few things that worked like a valve. And it was safe, unlike the other bullshit I did. But I probably didn't want to deal with that much either.

Twenty minutes later, I successfully parked in front of the school. I looked in the rearview mirror, which reflected the figures of my future classmates, who were gathering in groups and apparently discussing the latest gossip.

All right, Ollie. You can handle this. You'll just pretend to be the lonely hardened guy who hates everyone ... not wait. I don't really have to pretend this. I pulled a leather cord with a pendant from the mirror, pulled it over my head, and then hid Thor's hammer, drawn in silver, behind his T-shirt.

Inhale.

I got out of the car. Most of the views in the area were aimed directly at me.

Exhale.

Shit on it. I was supposed to go to school and spend a few extra hours in the bistro.

My gaze was caught by the stop next to the parking lot, where other students got off the bus. One of them caught my eye at first sight. Red hair curled up in a sloppy bun, expressive eyeliner, black clothes and big white headphones bumped on his ears.

She ignored the whole world, and the whole world probably ignored her.

No, not really.