My sudden setbacks dim Clavis’s protesting voice. He cooled down and tried to reason with me. He called my name thousands of times and tried to chase after me but I frowned.

“Clavis, come after me now and you can never find me.” I snorted, “Go to Lina, don't come to disturb me. This is the last warning.”

But he didn't listen and wanted to follow until Lina called out for help, “Clavis don't leave me. I am hurt.”

Only then he hesitated for a while before following her. Little by little the strong scent of blueberry disappeared behind me.

I didn't have any energy left dealing with either of them. All I wanted was to have a life where I could be happy.

When I got off the cab, I made my way upstairs in the apartment which never really belonged to me.

In these six years, there were only a few times when I could finally feel Clavis's love and most of the time it was only bed. When we mated, only with the skin slapping sound, I heard him mumbling every time how good he felt and that was all. I could never get back those three years when Clavis was a sweet boy who could do anything for me. The more he got distant to me, the more I fell in love with him, endlessly until I was tired, wounded and half dead. I layed down on the bed, weak and disturbed from the recent incidents. I still wondered how people could change that much but what was more shocking was that after getting over his feelings, these things did not hurt me anymore.

Meanwhile, I took my phone to see if there was any updates, then I saw the trail of messages in the group chat.

It was from Lina.

The group chat was flooded with Lina and Clavis’s picture, she even sent a picture of a diamond which was bigger than one Clavis gave me in our wedding and like a shiny bubble making clear who was Clavis’s first priority now.

She added a caption saying [I can't wait for the day when I will be completely his!]

Everyone in the group already knew who was the priority now and they all took turns to flatter her.

[Wow! You are the match made in heaven!]

[Future Luna spottedddd!]

[We can finally sigh in relief as Alpha won't give us a hard time anymore!]

[God bless this couple.]

I had had these flatteries, so I didn't feel anything anymore. When we were very loving to each other, Clavis never left my hand anywhere from meeting to gala. Everyone liked to take our pictures and posted it on this group. They flattered us with exactly the same comments. The dry laughter made my heart pound when I tossed my phone aside.

Before Lina came back from abroad, I helped Clavis to handle the pack’s matter, later my dad insisted on having Lina to learn those things and asked Clavis to hire her. Since then everything had turned out to be like this. One day someone from the pack wrote in the group chat that I could handle everything better than Lina, Clavis was so angry that he wanted to banish her. Later I begged him not to do it. Thinking how he protected my sister’s reputation, I was quite happy until I realised I was just a puppet who could restore their reputation and that was all for me. All these nine years I stayed here became a joke overnight.

“I was such a fool!” I laughed at myself for being such a fool and believed them. Everyone in my family betrayed me, even the man I loved, the man I thought to be my salvation, killed my feelings with his own hand. All I had was me and myself. If I ever got the chance to redo my life, I had never chosen him.

Tears rolled down from my hand, I couldn't hold back anymore.

I flopped on the bed and cried while burying my face in my knees. I was feeling so weak and heartbroken that I felt I would die at any moment. I just wanted to drain the memories from my head so that he could no longer remember anyone and anything. When I looked up from crying, my eyes were swollen and it was already dark outside.

“I can’t leave here anymore.” I already decided to leave this place, so there was no need for me to cry, was there? I was determined to choose a good life to live and this time I would not rely on the man until he was the right person.

Opening the wardrobe, I started to pack my bag, determined to leave from here. I took out every little things in detail until I spottedy wedding gown and the letters we wrote every years to us since the day we fell in love. We already wrote letters to ourselves for nine years it was only one year left but Clavis destroyed the sweet memories, failed the fifteen years old girl who fell heads over heels for this guy. Taking out them along with my wedding dress, I burnt them in the balcony. When the gatekeeper noticed the flame informed Clavis who just entered inside the residency area.

Running when he entered home, everything almost turned into ashes. Angry and disappointed, Clavis made a fuss again until he noticed the indifference in my eyes. Holding me tightly he gasped, demanding to know the reason for my insane behaviour.

“Marianne, what's wrong with you?” He shook me hard, “Have you gone insane?”

Under Clavis's ferocious gaze, my heart raced harder. Soon it became cold as ice when my eyes fluttered and I looked at him without any care.

“Well, those papers have gone bad. Burning the paper was not bad because while cleaning I found that old papers were torned and dirtied the wedding dress. Since there was a spider, I insisted on burning it.” I said nonchalantly.

“But they had our memories.” He insisted, still pinpointing my wrongdoing.

“Yeah. So what?” I shrugged, “Memories will go and come. No need to think much.”

Seeing my calm demeanour, Clavis realised that he might have overreacted and wanted to make it up for me. He hugged me gently and patted my head, “But you should have waited for me. Maybe I could remove the spider and arrange them in a new way.”

“Nah! Burning them can save our breath.” I smiled, “Moreover, are you done with your wedding’s shopping?”

Clavis pulled me from his hug and narrowed his eyes, “Is this the reason that you are upset?”

“Marianne, if you didn't ruin the party, we don't have to get married. But now you…” he shouted, about to say something but,

“Yes, it's all my fault.” I nodded, “Anyway I am happy for you.”

Clavis held my waist and kissed my lips softly, holding me closer to him, he murmured, “Baby, don't worry. No one can take your place. You are the Luna of the pack.”

“But don't do something dangerous again, alright?” He kissed forehead, “Wait for me okay?”

He lectured me sweetly with all gentle voice saying that I should have waited for him to come and take care of everything instead of burning it like that. What if the flame was bigger and gulped me with it, if that happened, how he would live. This ironic line made me chuckle in his embrace, but in Clavis eye’s I was touched and blushed. He kissed the top of my nose and told me, “We will stay together for a long time, so don't worry. We will make all the memories together. The thousands of memories are all for us.”

He smiled, kissing me deeply but I didn't kiss back, pulling him instantly, I tugged the stray strand of hair behind my ear, “You want to make up?”

He nodded and told me to revisit those places and wrote the letters again. He insisted that we could make those memories again and even could get me the same wedding dress if I wanted.

But what I told him was not an apology and there was nothing for him to apologise. But if he did want to make it up for me, he could throw a party on our anniversary. Clavis's eyes changed drastically. He would get married to Lina in a few days and our anniversary was before the due date, what if they insisted on not to marry her off with him anymore. Seeing him struggling, I was amused.

Seeing him rattled like this, I dropped those ideas. I initially thought that he would decline such a ridiculous idea but for some reason after giving it some thought he agreed.

“Okay, let's throw a party that day, alright?” He smiled, caressing my waist.

“Okay.” I broke the hug, “Thank you. Remember not to use any pollen in decoration. I am allergic.”

“Mm.” He nodded.

After all these years, I always thought that having Clavis by my side would be enough for me and rather than spending lavishly we could donate it for Pack's charity but now that he was willing to pay every penny for an outside and even went far to take her as his concubine, I shouldn't hold back myself either.

After that, Clavis got a call and left by saying company matters but the screen was clearly showing Lina’s name, “My only sweetheart Lina”. Later in the day, the event management team came with Lina. She was so evil that she deliberately let them decorate the venue with pollen but I couldn't tolerate pollen because of a severe allergy. As soon as I entered, I felt hard to breathe but Lina approached me and asked with a smirk on his face, “Do you like the decoration? Everyone worked hard for it.”

As I was sick, my eyes trailed on the bracelet she wore, it was the same design which Clavis gave me when we just got together, later he told me that he lost it and would buy something else for me. It was not that he couldn't afford another one but this bracelet only had one piece in the entire world and he purchased it for me from an auction. When Lina tried to diss me, I was already feeling weak and said “what's more can I expect from a second hand lover?” I smirked.

She was so angry that her body shook and she rushed to the wall, banging her head until it bled, she cried out pretty badly. Since my allergy was kicking in, I couldn't stop her either.

Later, Clavis came and blamed me for anything before leaving with her.

“What have you done?” He reprimanded me, “This girl left everything in the morning just to design everything with her own hands. Look at you, so ungrateful. If you can't thank her nicely it's okay but don't blame her like this. She is still a little girl.”

“Clavis, don’t you listen to both sides?” I shouted, completely disappointed with this man.

“What's there to listen to?” He grunted, “You have done this before too.”

“Why can’t you just leave her alone?” He ran his hand through his hair, squeezing his eyebrows hard, he was trying to control him, his strong blueberry pheromones were making me dizzy when I could only hold the table beside me for support.

“You started your drama again?” he gritted his teeth, “Marianne Willson, I am so disappointed with you.”

After they left, I threw everything in the room in anger and despair before coming out and heading back to my mother's place. When I got on the fast speed train, I called Clavis several times before he picked it up.

“What do you want?” He said impatiently.

“Clavis, let’s end things here. I will send you the divorce paper soon.” My voice was stone cold.

When I got down from the flight, looking at the woman, my mother in front of me, I felt melancholic. The pang in my heart hit harder. Twenty years ago, she faced the same betrayal as me. My father, who was the beta of the pack, married my mother the Alpha's daughter from Clay Layer Pack. She was the most beautiful and potential bride at that time. But since she fell in love, she wanted to protect their relationship and eloped with my dad but once a bastard was always a bastard. After giving me birth, my mother's condition worsened. He felt that he could no longer fulfil his ‘need’ and seeked other women's warmth. When Lina’s mother, Natasha got pregnant by him and managed to be marked by him too, she knocked on our door and they had no choice but to take her in or dad would be banished from the pack. Then my mother left, she insisted on taking me with her, but being persistent and not ready to leave the usual life, the five years old me didn't want to go with her.

“Mom, I wanted to stay here.” I cried, sitting on my mother's lap, “Can't we just stay here? Dad is so good to us. Molly Aunty too.”

Molly Aunty was Lina’s mother who always behaved well with me. Sometimes she was closer to me than my own mother.

“Do you want to stay with Molly Aunty and dad?” My mother, Kathy asked.

“Yes,” back then the innocent me didn't know that was the worst decision I made in my life.

My mother wrote letters for me everywhere and always asked me that if I ever needed her help, her door was always open for me. All those years, I only thought whatever happened in life I would never leave my mate like my mom, but karma was real. Staring at her, I felt conflicted. But the mother could not stay away from her daughter. She came close to me and kissed my forehead. “My daughter, my child!” She patted my head telling how much she missed me.

“Do you know how much I waited for you?” She smiled broadly, “Finally after all these years you get the time, don’t you?”

Hugging her I cried, “Sorry mom!”

“Silly child, I know you have your own things.” she patted my shoulders, “But after all these years were you happy?”

I wiped my tears and nodded, “It was…it got worse recently.”

“It's okay. Now that you are back to me, I will make everything good.” Her comforting, warm lap was what I missed the most.

I wanted to tell her that I missed her too, especially at the festivals when everyone spent time with their family but my family didn't treat me right nor did I have my mother by my side. Instead of those, I buried my head in her shoulder and nuzzled for a long time before getting into the car. My mother, Kathy, introduced me to a beta, Emol, as her husband.

“Baby, he is my husband now. Do you like her?” Seeing her beaming and blushing, how could I say no? Moreover, for the whole time I was never with her. So, if she found her true love, I was not someone to meddle in it.

“Yes, as long as you guys are happy.” I smiled and nodded to Emol, the simple man with a good physique.

“Mari, your mother always talks about you.” He smiled, stretching his hand for a handshake.

“Since we will be staying together now, if you can't think of me as your father, you can take me as your friend instead.”

When she came here all alone, she was depressed and finally found her true love in him. Emol became closer to me than my biological father. Kissing my knuckles, he said that if I ever faced any problem I could come to him. Since Kathy was my mother, I already became his daughter and they were waiting for me all along. That was why they didn't take any children. I didn't know but somehow he managed to warm my heart. Tears couldn't help but come out again.

Giving me a cup of soy milk, he asked me to replenish my body. I had more fights left. When we were moving to our house, I looked outside. The unfamiliar surroundings gave me a surreal feeling. At that moment, I thought of Clavis, was he worried for me at all after receiving the message? Since when did we drift so apart? Three years? Two years? I couldn't even calculate anymore. Initially, deep down from my heart, I wanted to put all the blame on Lina’s shoulder but the man was not innocent either. If you did not grow tired of a relationship or with someone's presence, an outsider could never make an entry there. So, if I should blame someone, then blame Clavis for giving others a chance. Thinking about them tears came out of my eyes. My body trembled when I sobbed in a low voice, scared that my mother and Emol would hear me.

In the meantime, I got a message on my phone, [Marianne Willson, where are you? Put your shit together and come back within one hour!]