After we came out of the cafe, I glance at Clavis who was standing at the doorway having Lina clinging to him. Bidding Nana Meera goodbye I wanted to leave already when the pair took the initiative to approach me.
Clavis explained that he didn't want to make Lina feel that she was extra and wanted to give her a proper wedding, that was why they were here.
“So Mari, don't misunderstand us, especially your sister. She didn't ask for anything.” He reasoned, “What am I doing because I feel compelled.”
“It's okay.” I waved my hand, irritated to hear their chattering, “Do whatever you want, you don't have to give me an explanation.”
I smiled and nodded with them asking more. Staring at them, I felt that they resembled those young couple who fell in love and were planning to tie a knot, the glimpses of younger me six years ago who went against everyone just to marry this man, the Alpha who was also an executive in a renowned company, the potential choice of husband for my step sister. I told him that he didn't need to explain anything to me, since it was their marriage, it should be grand enough to be known by everyone in and out of the pack.
“But you are meeting Nana Meera all of a sudden?” Clavis had a cheeky smile on his face, remembering his good relationship with her, he wanted to hug her but Nana Meera declined saying, “Clavis, child I am very old already and don't like to be touched anymore.”
He felt a little ashamed and looked down, respecting her boundary he bowed.
“What are you doing here, Mari?” He averted his gaze to me.
“You are getting married right?” I smiled, “Back then Nana Meera was so close to us, that's why I wanted to give her some gifts.”
“That's great.” He smiled, “You should pick up something best for her.”
I nodded, forced to fake a smile on my lips.
When I was feeling complicated with them, Lina smiled at me triumphantly and pulled Clavis closer who played along with her childishness. I continued to endure those shameless dramas for a while and got irritated. Nana Meera wanted to say something but seeing how soft Clavis’s expression is whenever he looked at Lina, her lips toned into a grim line. So, since everyone was being awkward there, I chose to leave but before I could, by Moon goddess’s grace, Lina felt hungry and wanted to get some ice cream.
“Remember to get me a strawberry one, Clavis!” She pouted like a little girl, “Come quickly. My stomach hurts.”
Clavis kissed her forehead and muttered, “Wait for me, okay? Don't run around.”
She smiled very sweetly to him, almost I couldn't believe that she could hide her feral attitude with such a good shell.
Looking at Clavis ran to get the ice creams for her, I felt the bubble finally burst.
I recalled how Clavis went to run errands for me too like this when we just fell in love and whenever I got upset because of his overworking, he patted my head saying that I was his queen and he could do anything for me. Back then, those naive titles and pet names felt nice. Now thinking of the time, I had simply wasted all my youth for this man who didn't even worth the hype. Seeing I didn't react that much when Clavis left, Lina provoked me by saying how she snatched my husband from me and she would even snatch the title of me being Luna.
“Dear sis, the great Luna, just let me enter the house, will I take you down by any means!” She laughed like a witch.
I frowned, my head was throbbing her lousy act.
“Are you done?” I sighed and asked as if I was very irritated, “You can have that trash, alright, my dear little sister?”
Laughing, I said that she could only have the dirt I abandoned, not anything else.
She was furious and made a scene before Clavis could come back. She broke her heels and fell on her butt, pretending I pushed her. When Clavis was back, he attended to the sickly girl ignoring me.
“Lina, how did you fall?” Concern broke through in his face, “Are you alright? Get up quickly.”
Lina got up with a lot of hardship, deliberately showing how much she was hurt and clung close to Clavis, muttering, “Clavis, don't blame my sister. She just pushed me lightly, I fell down on my own.”
She bit her lips as if she was wronged. Her acting was so flawless that it seemed she was trying to cover me up but in reality she was exposing me more.
“Mari, why are you doing this?” Clavis rubbed his temple in anger, “When will you learn? You are so petty to someone so innocent!”
He grunted, “Apologise to her now. You can't go anywhere without saying sorry!”
Nana Meera wanted to protest, but I held her back. Since I was leaving already, I should let them think whatever they wanted.
“Apologise, my ass!” I scoffed, showing them middle finger I scorned, “Clavis go fuck yourself with her lousy acting. Don't cry in front of my ear!” I snorted.
Rather than apologising, I stormed off the place leaving the couple all alone and chummy. After I got inside the cab, Clavis sent me another text calling me out to be a bully and he never got to know my true self if he didn't come here accidentally. I was too tired to explain and simply said that he got everything right and I was a bully. Since bullies were not sorry for their act, I would not apologise too.
My sudden setbacks dim Clavis’s protesting voice. He cooled down and tried to reason with me. He called my name thousands of times and tried to chase after me but I frowned.
“Clavis, come after me now and you can never find me.” I snorted, “Go to Lina, don't come to disturb me. This is the last warning.”
But he didn't listen and wanted to follow until Lina called out for help, “Clavis don't leave me. I am hurt.”
Only then he hesitated for a while before following her. Little by little the strong scent of blueberry disappeared behind me.
I didn't have any energy left dealing with either of them. All I wanted was to have a life where I could be happy.
When I got off the cab, I made my way upstairs in the apartment which never really belonged to me.
In these six years, there were only a few times when I could finally feel Clavis's love and most of the time it was only bed. When we mated, only with the skin slapping sound, I heard him mumbling every time how good he felt and that was all. I could never get back those three years when Clavis was a sweet boy who could do anything for me. The more he got distant to me, the more I fell in love with him, endlessly until I was tired, wounded and half dead. I layed down on the bed, weak and disturbed from the recent incidents. I still wondered how people could change that much but what was more shocking was that after getting over his feelings, these things did not hurt me anymore.
Meanwhile, I took my phone to see if there was any updates, then I saw the trail of messages in the group chat.
It was from Lina.
The group chat was flooded with Lina and Clavis’s picture, she even sent a picture of a diamond which was bigger than one Clavis gave me in our wedding and like a shiny bubble making clear who was Clavis’s first priority now.
She added a caption saying [I can't wait for the day when I will be completely his!]
Everyone in the group already knew who was the priority now and they all took turns to flatter her.
[Wow! You are the match made in heaven!]
[Future Luna spottedddd!]
[We can finally sigh in relief as Alpha won't give us a hard time anymore!]
[God bless this couple.]
I had had these flatteries, so I didn't feel anything anymore. When we were very loving to each other, Clavis never left my hand anywhere from meeting to gala. Everyone liked to take our pictures and posted it on this group. They flattered us with exactly the same comments. The dry laughter made my heart pound when I tossed my phone aside.
Before Lina came back from abroad, I helped Clavis to handle the pack’s matter, later my dad insisted on having Lina to learn those things and asked Clavis to hire her. Since then everything had turned out to be like this. One day someone from the pack wrote in the group chat that I could handle everything better than Lina, Clavis was so angry that he wanted to banish her. Later I begged him not to do it. Thinking how he protected my sister’s reputation, I was quite happy until I realised I was just a puppet who could restore their reputation and that was all for me. All these nine years I stayed here became a joke overnight.
“I was such a fool!” I laughed at myself for being such a fool and believed them. Everyone in my family betrayed me, even the man I loved, the man I thought to be my salvation, killed my feelings with his own hand. All I had was me and myself. If I ever got the chance to redo my life, I had never chosen him.
Tears rolled down from my hand, I couldn't hold back anymore.
I flopped on the bed and cried while burying my face in my knees. I was feeling so weak and heartbroken that I felt I would die at any moment. I just wanted to drain the memories from my head so that he could no longer remember anyone and anything. When I looked up from crying, my eyes were swollen and it was already dark outside.
“I can’t leave here anymore.” I already decided to leave this place, so there was no need for me to cry, was there? I was determined to choose a good life to live and this time I would not rely on the man until he was the right person.
Opening the wardrobe, I started to pack my bag, determined to leave from here. I took out every little things in detail until I spottedy wedding gown and the letters we wrote every years to us since the day we fell in love. We already wrote letters to ourselves for nine years it was only one year left but Clavis destroyed the sweet memories, failed the fifteen years old girl who fell heads over heels for this guy. Taking out them along with my wedding dress, I burnt them in the balcony. When the gatekeeper noticed the flame informed Clavis who just entered inside the residency area.
Running when he entered home, everything almost turned into ashes. Angry and disappointed, Clavis made a fuss again until he noticed the indifference in my eyes. Holding me tightly he gasped, demanding to know the reason for my insane behaviour.
“Marianne, what's wrong with you?” He shook me hard, “Have you gone insane?”
Under Clavis's ferocious gaze, my heart raced harder. Soon it became cold as ice when my eyes fluttered and I looked at him without any care.
“Well, those papers have gone bad. Burning the paper was not bad because while cleaning I found that old papers were torned and dirtied the wedding dress. Since there was a spider, I insisted on burning it.” I said nonchalantly.
“But they had our memories.” He insisted, still pinpointing my wrongdoing.
“Yeah. So what?” I shrugged, “Memories will go and come. No need to think much.”
Seeing my calm demeanour, Clavis realised that he might have overreacted and wanted to make it up for me. He hugged me gently and patted my head, “But you should have waited for me. Maybe I could remove the spider and arrange them in a new way.”
“Nah! Burning them can save our breath.” I smiled, “Moreover, are you done with your wedding’s shopping?”
Clavis pulled me from his hug and narrowed his eyes, “Is this the reason that you are upset?”
“Marianne, if you didn't ruin the party, we don't have to get married. But now you…” he shouted, about to say something but,
“Yes, it's all my fault.” I nodded, “Anyway I am happy for you.”
Clavis held my waist and kissed my lips softly, holding me closer to him, he murmured, “Baby, don't worry. No one can take your place. You are the Luna of the pack.”
“But don't do something dangerous again, alright?” He kissed forehead, “Wait for me okay?”
He lectured me sweetly with all gentle voice saying that I should have waited for him to come and take care of everything instead of burning it like that. What if the flame was bigger and gulped me with it, if that happened, how he would live. This ironic line made me chuckle in his embrace, but in Clavis eye’s I was touched and blushed. He kissed the top of my nose and told me, “We will stay together for a long time, so don't worry. We will make all the memories together. The thousands of memories are all for us.”
He smiled, kissing me deeply but I didn't kiss back, pulling him instantly, I tugged the stray strand of hair behind my ear, “You want to make up?”
He nodded and told me to revisit those places and wrote the letters again. He insisted that we could make those memories again and even could get me the same wedding dress if I wanted.
But what I told him was not an apology and there was nothing for him to apologise. But if he did want to make it up for me, he could throw a party on our anniversary. Clavis's eyes changed drastically. He would get married to Lina in a few days and our anniversary was before the due date, what if they insisted on not to marry her off with him anymore. Seeing him struggling, I was amused.
Seeing him rattled like this, I dropped those ideas. I initially thought that he would decline such a ridiculous idea but for some reason after giving it some thought he agreed.
“Okay, let's throw a party that day, alright?” He smiled, caressing my waist.
“Okay.” I broke the hug, “Thank you. Remember not to use any pollen in decoration. I am allergic.”
“Mm.” He nodded.
After all these years, I always thought that having Clavis by my side would be enough for me and rather than spending lavishly we could donate it for Pack's charity but now that he was willing to pay every penny for an outside and even went far to take her as his concubine, I shouldn't hold back myself either.
After that, Clavis got a call and left by saying company matters but the screen was clearly showing Lina’s name, “My only sweetheart Lina”. Later in the day, the event management team came with Lina. She was so evil that she deliberately let them decorate the venue with pollen but I couldn't tolerate pollen because of a severe allergy. As soon as I entered, I felt hard to breathe but Lina approached me and asked with a smirk on his face, “Do you like the decoration? Everyone worked hard for it.”
As I was sick, my eyes trailed on the bracelet she wore, it was the same design which Clavis gave me when we just got together, later he told me that he lost it and would buy something else for me. It was not that he couldn't afford another one but this bracelet only had one piece in the entire world and he purchased it for me from an auction. When Lina tried to diss me, I was already feeling weak and said “what's more can I expect from a second hand lover?” I smirked.
She was so angry that her body shook and she rushed to the wall, banging her head until it bled, she cried out pretty badly. Since my allergy was kicking in, I couldn't stop her either.
Later, Clavis came and blamed me for anything before leaving with her.
“What have you done?” He reprimanded me, “This girl left everything in the morning just to design everything with her own hands. Look at you, so ungrateful. If you can't thank her nicely it's okay but don't blame her like this. She is still a little girl.”
“Clavis, don’t you listen to both sides?” I shouted, completely disappointed with this man.
“What's there to listen to?” He grunted, “You have done this before too.”
“Why can’t you just leave her alone?” He ran his hand through his hair, squeezing his eyebrows hard, he was trying to control him, his strong blueberry pheromones were making me dizzy when I could only hold the table beside me for support.
“You started your drama again?” he gritted his teeth, “Marianne Willson, I am so disappointed with you.”
After they left, I threw everything in the room in anger and despair before coming out and heading back to my mother's place. When I got on the fast speed train, I called Clavis several times before he picked it up.
“What do you want?” He said impatiently.
“Clavis, let’s end things here. I will send you the divorce paper soon.” My voice was stone cold.
