October,1998

‘Come home soon, Travis’

‘Wait for me, babe.’

Her husband used to say that every time he left for work. And each time, his lips would hum those words as he leaned forward to kiss her.

Alyssa did, always did, and still did wait for her Alpha, even though Travis no longer asked her to do so. 

She waited with lavender perfume rubbed into her wrists, and tired jade eyes. She would wait.

Alyssa whirled away in the kitchen, the hem of her peach satin robe flowing behind her like waves. Her skin was disturbingly turning pale these days, maybe tiredness is striking her more these days. Her heart was tired and sad.

Alyssa glanced at the clock...half-past eleven. Travis is late again. She heaved a strained sigh.

Zoey watched her mama heating the kettle of chamomile tea swirling around in the kitchen humming a tune.

It was her Daddy's favorite, Zoey knew that. Her Mama always made her daddy’s favorites because she loved Dadda very much.

Though she knew her Dadda didn't love her mama that much.

 He doesn't kiss Mama like Nyra’s dada would kiss her Mama. Dadda was always angry and shouted at her for no reason and sometimes Mama would yell back too. It made Zoey very scared.

"Zoey, why don't you go to bed? I'll tuck you in a minute, baby." Alyssa’s eyes were busy on the boiling pot of milk.

"Wait to Dadda, I want," Zoey’s eyes crinkled at her mama, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "for wait together,"

"It's not wait to Dadda I want, it's I want to wait for Dadda together," Alyssa had a rule of not answering Zoey until she spoke correctly. So she pouted at Zoey after eyeing her, and Zoey knew she had said it wrong again.

Half the time, Alyssa used this rule to avoid questions from Zoey like ‘why Dadda didn't come for dinner?’ or ‘Why Dadda didn't come to my school?’ or some things like ‘Why didn't Dadda do this or that?" And the worst one was, 'Why are you crying, mama?'"’

It gave her a headache.

"I want to wait for Dadda together," she repeated, giggling, trying to lighten her Mother’s mood. "No, he has a lot of work, so he's going to be late again."

In reality, Alyssa didn't even know if Travis was going to return, let alone be late. 

She didn't even know why she was explaining all this to her daughter. "You know how hard Daddy works for us, right?”

"Please Mama, I eat dinner with Dadda.”

"Zoey," she sighs.

Moments like these broke her heart. "If you to go to sleep, I'll make you-"

"NO! " She thrashed her fists in the air, eyes red.

Alyssa noted how similar to her father she looked when she was angry.

 Their hazel eyes glowed golden like embers, while their cheeks would tint into the brightest shade of pink.

So much for a little alpha.

"Zoey, eat with Dadda! Zoey eats with Dadda!"

Alyssa sighed, resigning herself. There was no way to end her fit. Once she had begun throwing a tantrum, Zoey wouldn't calm down until she’d gotten what she wanted.

"Zoey, you're a good girl. Good girls listen to Mama."  

"Zoey, bad girl! Zoey, bad girl! Zoey eat with Dadda! Mama lies! Dadda and you fight! Dadda don't love you no more!"

*PAKKK*

There was a sound of slap and then silence.

Alyssa lost her last bit of self-control. Before even realizing it, she had slapped her baby girl. 

A moment later, red fingerprints appeared on her little one’s cheek. Tears crept out of those uneven eyes, not Zoey who had shushed up now.

Alyssa sunk down onto the cold tiles, a blubbering mess of tears, sobs and apologies. 

"Mama~~”

“Mama, don't cry. Mama, Zoey, be good girl now...mama, Zoey go to sleep. Don't cry Mama. Zoey don't eat with Dadda. Zoey don't wait for Dadda. I go to sleep....Don’t cry Mama. I love mama."

Eyes drowned in tears, a heart burdened with sorrow, lungs breaking every moment, Alyssa hugged the small cub. She knew at that moment she would make her daughter see that her Dadda does love Mama. She would do whatever it takes.

Even though it will cost her, her honor. She couldn’t let her daughter see how hollow her relationship with her husband has become.

Zoey doesn’t deserve all this.

 She deserves love.

She deserves to see love. She will see only love.

By 3am, a fumble of keys resounded on the porch.

The drunk Alpha stumbled into the apartment. Alyssa rushed to her husband's aid. He held onto her and laid a big, sloppy kiss on her mouth.

"Remi" Travis slurred.

Alyssa slightly pushed him away, but kept holding his arm as he latched the door again. 

"May, June, Ro... I can't...remember names.” Travis kept swaying in her arms.

The smell of cheap perfume lingered on his coat as she removed it from Alpha’s shoulder and placed it on the worn, maple dining table. 

Travis slumped onto the chair, a goofy smile on his lips.

"June.... And Alyssa,"

Alyssa poured him a cup of chamomile tea, but the alpha gripped her hand, stopping her.

 "Why are you still here?" He mumbled, his hands clutching a now new bottle of beer. 

"You know why, Travis."

Opting to remain quiet, she reached out to grab at it but she pulled away once she noticed what the Alpha was going to do.

Having not expected it, Alyssa barely had a moment to register what was happening before she ducked, narrowly missing the beer bottle.

The alpha chuckled darkly.

She had never seen him so drunk before, nor so broken, or even deranged, for that matter.

"I don't understand. We fight too much. You make me sick, Alyssa. Just leave me alone." He pulled her closer instead of letting go, pointing an accusing finger at his wife.

Their breaths mixed as a snowstorm messed with the wild wind. With his index finger, Travis traced the outline of her lips.

"I hate you. You ruined everything. You always ruin everything." He slurred, his voice loud and strong, but the words all jumbled together under the heavy influence of the alcohol.

 "I don't love you.”

“I know that.” Alyssa tried to free herself but couldn’t as Travis’s grip tightened and he released angry pheromones, making her cower in submission.

"Riley...Ugh!!. I can't remember their names, but I remember Remi and I love her." 

"I know you do," Alyssa whispered calmly. As calm as a winter storm could be.

 "She won't be mine and you know why?” Travis kept mumbling angrily.

“I know.” She responded as she moved her face away from the foul smell of alcohol wafting through Alpha’s mouth.

Travis gripped her chin a bit harshly to make the omega look at him. “Look at me when I talk.”

Alyssa shivered as her legs turned into jelly with all the suffocating air around them.

“Yeah, you know she won’t be mine until you take Zoey’s custody.”

"Maybe that's why I don't take her custody." 

Alyssa spoke freely, though her heartbeat was erratic. She thought her chest might burst from the way her heart was thrumming inside.

Yet, she knew the Alpha wasn't going to remember anything in the morning.

"Oh you b*tch omega, you pain in my *ss” He cursed. Whatever he said, it didn't make a difference on the omega anymore.

It took all her strength to push the alpha away from her, though. 

Travis stumbled on the couch in the living room, falling head first.

"I'll get rid of you. I swear I will. Then I'll be free to be with Remi and I won't ever come home.” Travis kept mumbling incoherent words.

Alyssa stroked his hair. It was as dark as the countryside's night sky. 

"You'll come back home. Trust me."

Thankfully, the Alpha remained quiet as she pulled the duvet up under his chin, tucking him in as one does to a child. When she stood up Travis held her hand and mumbled a ‘I hate you’

He said again in his slurred state.

Alyssa looked one more time before grabbing the beer bottle. Luckily it wasn’t broken, "But I love you." She exhaled at last, but Travis was already asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PRESENT

October 13 1998

 Alyssa stared at the walls of her house for far too long. 

As if staring at them would bring back the days she missed so much these past months. 

Sometimes she just sits and keeps staring into the abyss. 

The past seven years of her life were the most promising years she ever had.

The love that flowed through the house was too good to be true. She never thought he would be sitting here alone, reminiscing about the past. The past that can never come back. The love that she can never get again.

When did things turn this ugly. When did they fall apart?

She knows when.

 Until……

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    PAST

Seven years ago

March 13th, 1992

  Pregnant. The word rang in her head as sweat popped out on her face.

Impossible, but true.

One time. She had s*x the one time in her life and this was what happened.

Alyssa dodged yet another groping hand and made her way to table four, a tray loaded with drinks balanced on her hip.

The three men at the table barely looked up as she served them, which was fine with her. 

Having them pretend she didn’t exist was preferable to fighting them off.

For her, there was no middle ground.

 She handed the bottles of beer around, putting one in front of the only empty chair at the table.

Friday and Saturday nights at Ken’s were always loud and crowded since it was the only tavern within a hundred-mile radius that sported a dance floor with live music.

Picking up the ashtray from the table, she emptied it into another one on her tray, the odor of stale cigarettes assaulting her nose.

A wave of nausea rolled over her and she closed her eyes, willing her stomach to settle. It had been happening all day and each time seemed to get worse.

If this was what she had to look forward to for the next seven and a half months, she doesn’t think she’d make it. Didn’t even want to.

Her gaze moved to the dance floor. 

The alpha wasn’t hard to find. Travis Wilson was the tallest man in the room. 

He wasn’t the best looking, not if you liked the muscled, polished look of a model, but his craggy, smooth features, and his smile were certainly enough to attract lots of attention.

Even from across the room Alyssa could feel the weight of those crystal blue eyes as the alpha looked up and studied her intently over the head of the blonde he was holding in his arms.

Remi Pierce. His fiancé. His omega.

Alyssa lowered her gaze and turned back toward the bar just as a wave of heat swept through her. 

The edges of her vision went black and the nausea hit again. This time, she knew, it wasn’t going away.

With an urgency born of desperation, she tossed the serving tray onto the bar and dashed down the long hall.

Only a screen door blocked her path outside and she went through it at a run, barely making it outside before she started to heave. 

Not that it did much good.

She hadn’t eaten since yesterday, but her traitorous stomach seemed bent on emptying itself anyway.

Hands braced on her knees, she leaned against the side of the building and s*ck*d in deep breaths of the cool night air.

Suddenly, the hair on the back of her neck stood and, even though she hadn’t heard the door open, she knew that the alpha Travis was there.

“Alyssa?”

Well, at least he knew her name. 

Hysterical laughter threatened to bubble from her throat, but she forced it down as her stomach roiled again.

“Go away. Please, Alpha, just leave me alone.”

Alyssa couldn’t look at him. Not now.

“You’re sick.”

“Stomach.” She wanted to say more, to come up with a good explanation, but her tongue seemed to be choking her. Even that one word brought on another heave.

Alyssa felt more than saw him take a step closer, then those big , strong hands were supporting her, holding her up.

The omega flinched from his touch, wanting nothing more than to just lie down and die. But of course, nothing was that easy.

“Why don’t you ask Ken to give you the rest of the night off? You’re in no shape to work.” Her nausea eased, replaced by a surge of anger, and Alyssa pulled away from him.

“This is the only job I’ve got. I can’t afford to take off. Now please leave me alone. What I do or don’t do is no concern of yours. Go back to your fiancée. I’m sure she’s wondering where you are.”

There was a second of hesitation, then Travis turned and walked away. 

As soon as Alyssa heard the door close behind him, she slid down the wall and buried her face against her knees.

She wouldn’t cry, couldn’t let herself go like that. 

In the ten years she’d lived in the town, this was the second time Travis had ever said more than two words to her.

Considering what had happened the first time, it was probably a good thing. 

And Alyssa doubted the alpha even remembered it.

She allowed herself one sniffle, then stood and wiped the sweat from her forehead. If she didn’t get back to work, Ken,her boss, was going to come looking for her.

Only one more hour until closing. She could hang on until then.

“Where did you go?”

Travis sat himself in an empty chair and glanced at Remi. The omega’s blonde hair framed the face of an angel and, as always, a surge of emotion washed over Travis.

He had known the omega forever, and couldn't remember a time when he hadn’t known they would spend their lives together. Now the alpha was beginning to think he might have blown it for good.

“Outside.”

A bottle of beer sat in front of him and he’d started to lift it to his lips when Remi’s well- manicured hand covered his.

“Travis, please reconsider. We could have so much fun. And I really want this. You know I’ll pay for everything.”

“I can’t, Remi. Even if I could leave the estate for that long, I can’t leave Ri alone. We’ve been all through this. When are you going to understand I have responsibilities I can’t abandon?”

Her perfect lips puckered into a pout. “Riley is sixteen years old now. She can take care of herself. You just don’t want to go.” Remi gathered up her things. “I’m leaving first thing in the morning. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

A sense of desperation hit Travis. “Look, why don’t you forget this trip? We can find an elder tonight and be married by tomorrow.”

“I told you, Travis. I refuse to live in that ramshackle barn you call a house. When you build a new one, we’ll talk about it.”

“I don’t have the kind of money it takes to build a house. Especially when there’s nothing wrong with the one I have.”

“It’s old.” Remi wrinkled her nose. “And ugly. And stinky. Why can’t you just do one thing for me? Is that too much to ask? I’m beginning to think you don’t really love me.”

 “That’s not true.” Travis kept his voice low.

 “Isn’t it? Nigel wants to build a house for me.”

Travis couldn’t control the anger that flashed through him while he studied Remi’s face.

 “For that matter,” she continued thoughtfully, “I bet that dog would love a little vacation.”

Remi yanked the diamond engagement ring off her finger and tossed it onto the table. “We’re through, Travis. And this time, it’s for good.” With a swirl of her sleekly styled blonde hair, the omega flounced out of the bar.

“She did it to you again, didn’t she?” Celeb  Flynn sat down in the chair Remi had just vacated and picked up the ring, turning it over and over in his hands. 

“How many times does this make? Ten? Twenty?”

Travis chugged the beer in one go. Celeb had been his best friend and guardian since he was five, but sometimes even friends could get on your nerves.

“What was it this time? She wanted you to go to another one of his b*llsh*t friend’s fancy parties?”

“No.” Travis’s gaze wandered to the back of the building, searching. “She wanted me to take her to Hawaii for two weeks.”

Celeb stared at him for a minute. “You’re joking. Does she think the estate was going to run itself? That’s pretty extreme, even for little Miss. Obnoxiou—”

His words cut off as Travis glared at him.

“It’s not her fault that Alpha Pierce is the richest man in town. You just don’t know her like I do. She’ll be back.” Travis only hoped Remi would be here for him, but he was beginning to doubt it.

“D*mn right, she will. Look, Travis, how long is it going to take before you start listening to me? I keep trying to tell you, she is not worth it. She is only stringing you along. Remi doesn’t care about anyone but herself. She never has and he never will. She’s been seeing so many other men. You know it. I know it. Everyone in town knows it. Face facts. She is never going to marry you.”

Travis stared at the ring in Celeb’s hand, then pulled it away from him and stuck it in his pocket.

Celeb was right about one thing. He knew about Nigel. It had caused their last big fight six weeks ago. 

That night, Travis had been the one who called the engagement off for a change.

Then he’d gone out and gotten dead drunk. It was what had gotten him into all this mess to start with.

Again, his gaze wandered uneasily to the bar, searching for and finding Alyssa. The girl was loading a tray with drinks, her skin pasty white under the bar lights.

The omega looked horrible, like she might fall over face-first any minute. Strands of her long auburn hair strung loose and clung to her sweat-dampened neck.

Travis might not remember much else about that night, but he remembered what Alyssa‘a lips had tasted like on his tongue, the heat that had roared through him when he touched her.

The soft curve of her supple body under him. Remembered how it felt to sink himself into her warm, welcoming depths.

Goddess Luna help him, he’d sported a raging erection for a solid week afterwards, every time he thought about it. 

And then the fear had set in.

He was betraying his bride to be. That little fact had sobered him up real fast, but not fast enough to keep him from taking Alyssa. Not fast enough for his brain to realize he didn’t use protection.

 Had Alyssa told him the truth tonight?

 Was it just a virus or was she pregnant?

Travis had been holding his breath ever since that night, waiting for the axe to fall, waiting for the words that would forever end his relationship with Remi.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

Travis’s head whipped around in shock before he realized that Caleb was still talking about Remi.

Remi and Nigel. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” His friend sounded disgusted. 

“You’re just going to let her get away with it.” Caleb waved and caught Alyssa’s  attention, holding up two fingers  to signify he wanted two drinks when she looked at him.

Alyssa nodded and turned back to the bar.

“What do you expect me to do? Lock her up? Make her submit to me?”

Travis watched Alyssa head toward their table, two more beers in hand.

They both fell silent as Alyssa put the bottles in front of them.

 Travis tried to catch her eye, but Alyssa refused to even look at him or his general direction.

Caleb watched her walk away, a thoughtful expression on his face. 

“I think if I were you, Vis, I’d at least want to get even. Maybe you should take a shot at some of that.” He tilted his head at Alyssa. “I’ve heard she’s pretty hot in bed.”

 The rage that hit Travis was uncontrollable. Before he even knew he was going to, he had grabbed the front of his friend’s shirt and hauled him halfway across the table.

“I think you better learn to keep your mouth shut until you know what you’re talking about.” Travis forced the words out through tightly gritted teeth.

“Easy, there. D*mn. Easy.” Caleb held both hands up in a gesture of peace . “I didn’t mean anything.” He sank back into his chair as Travis released him.

 “I just don’t understand how you can keep taking Remi back time after time. No omega is worth what she puts you through.”

Travis reached for his wallet and slapped some money on the table. “It’s not your problem. It’s mine and I’ll handle it my way.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “See you later.”

Alyssa tied the sleeves of her sweater around her waist and stepped out the door to the bar she worked.

Normally, she enjoyed walking home after work. The air of calm serenity that fell over the town in the wee hours of the night was soothing after the noise and crowds of the bar.

But tonight, nothing would soothe her.

Panic hit her as she thought about the tiny life that had taken up residence inside her.

What did she know about having a baby, much less raising one? She could barely afford to buy food for herself let alone a baby.

There was no way she could afford a doctor or medical bills. 

And as soon as her boss discovers she is pregnant, she would lose her job as well.

Admittedly, it wasn’t much of a job, but at least the tips kept a roof over her head. She angled across the parking lot and turned north. There were no sidewalks here.

The bar was on the very edge of town, too far out for such amenities. She walked on the grassy side, her worn out sneakers silent in the dew-dampened weeds.

Deep into her own whirling thoughts, she didn’t hear the pickup until it slowed almost to a stop next to her.

“Get in. I’ll give you a ride home.”

The voice sent a burst of anxiety through her. She glanced up but kept going, fear and anxiety making her omega jump inside her. She couldn’t possibly know.

“T-thank you, but I’d rather walk.”

The truck shot ahead of her and pulled over, the red flare of brake lights blinding her as Travis hit the brakes. 

The sound of the door slamming behind him echoed across the empty street.

Alyssa hesitated, then increased her speed, intending to pass right by the man. When she was even within an inch of  the truck, Travis caught her arm, his hand warm, his grip firm and determined.

The speed of Alyssa’s heartbeat increased again. “Alyssa, we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Go home, Travis.” Alyssa pulled her arm loose and started walking again, praying he’d just go away.

Travis fell into step next to her. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you? You don’t have a virus.”

All the air went out of her lungs at that statement that she thought she had slammed into a brick wall, and the blackness threatened again. 

She staggered to a halt, fighting to draw in a breath.

Travis knew. Dear God, the alpha hadn’t believed her earlier excuse about being sick.

It wasn’t until Travis caught her, lifted her, Alyssa hadn’t even realized she was falling. 

There was a dizzying sense of motion, then she found herself propped up on the seat of Travis’s truck.

“Alyssa?”

 His voice seemed to come from far away .

“Alyssa , if you don’t answer me right now, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

That got her attention. No way could she pay a hospital bill. She forced her eyes open. Travis leaned over her, sharp hazel eyes reflecting concern. Dark hair spilled onto his forehead.

Would the baby look like him? Hysteria welled in her at the thought. Fighting it off brought her back to her senses.

“Your scent.” Travis’s eyes flickered red when she broke out of her stupor. 

“I’m o-okay.” Or at least, she would be if Travis would just go away.

“Huh?” Travis shot her a look that said he didn’t believe her, his eyes narrowing to slits as he sniffed the air around them.

“No more arguments. I’m driving you home.” He climbed in next to her and started the truck. 

Alyssa managed to slide across the seat until she was huddled tightly against the door, as far away from the alpha as the small space allowed. 

“It’s on Maple.”

“Yeah, I remember.” The words carried a cynical edge.

Travis glanced at her. “You weren’t going to tell me about it ,were you?”

Alyssa remained silent. There was no way the alpha could know for sure.

 Travis was only making guesses.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know?”

Alyssa turned from the window to look at him.

 “Assuming you’re right, that I am pregnant, what makes you think the pup is yours? I’m the town’s wh*r*, remember. Or hasn’t anyone told you that yet?”

Alyssa tried to keep the sarcasm and bitterness out of her voice. The label shouldn’t hurt after all this time, but it did.

Just because it was true about her mother didn’t mean she was the same. 

But try to convince the people in this town of that. And now they had even more ammunition to convince themselves she was a carbon copy of her mother.

“I may have been drunk that night, Alyssa, but I wasn’t unconscious. You were a virgin. If you’re pregnant, we both know it’s mine. Don’t you think I have the right to know that you’re carrying my child?”

“No, you don’t know that.” She whispered. “And I don’t think you have any rights at all where I’m concerned.”

 The lights of the town grew closer together, plunging them in and out of darkness.

 “This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. So, if you’re feeling guilty, you can forget about it. It was my choice, my body, and it’s my baby. Mine and no one else’s.” Alyssa whispered those words.

“You’re wrong, Alyssa. It’s mine, too. Whether you like it or not.”

“Oh, right, Travis.” she was dangerously close to panic again. 

“You’re just going to proclaim to the whole town that this is your child. Your fiancée would really love that. Maybe we can all get together and have lunch after you break the news to her. She and I can even share experiences on your shenanigans. Should be really interesting. Of course, I only have that one time to use as an example, but it was enough. Boy, was it enough...”

To her horror, tears streamed down her face and she made a belated attempt to wipe them away. 

It didn’t help.

 The harder she tried to stop them, the faster they fell.

She wasn’t aware that the truck had stopped, but suddenly Travis was holding her, pressing her face into his shoulder. 

Weeks of keeping the fear and worry bottled up inside spilled out.

Alyssa clung to him, embarrassed and ashamed of losing control.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so scared,” she sobbed the words.

 “There’s no one I could talk to, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Travis felt the tension in her body as his arms tightened around her. 

“You don’t have to be scared anymore, Alyssa. We’ll figure something out, I promise. We’re in this together.”

As much as She hated to do so, she pulled away from the alpha.