Ethan didn't come home that night, and his bodyguard confirmed he wasn't at the casino either. I'd finished lunch before he finally called.

His voice had a practiced edge of apology. "There was a problem with the shipment at the docks last night. Ran late. Didn't want to wake you. Sorry, something came up today too. I won't be able to go with you to the doctor's."

I smiled and said nothing.

In the early days, I ran the casino for him. I was pregnant then. I drank with some Thai arms dealers to close a deal and lost the baby. I had never been able to carry one since.

Back then, he drove himself to specialists across the country. He sat beside me in every waiting room, never once complaining, never once making me feel like a burden. That was when it mattered to him.

Now, just because of a single suggestion from me, he no longer bothers to come along.

"Call me after the checkup. Big sit-down tonight. I'm eating with the family, so I won't be home for dinner."

The Lorencio families held a full gathering every five years: every boss in the city, all in the same room. Since the family got back on track,, I'd stayed home, focused on my health and the possibility of a pregnancy. I never went.

Today I changed my mind.

I hung up, got dressed, and went.

Julie had her arm through Ethan's. They stood at the yacht's railing watching the sea, the crew gathered around them. Someone raised a glass, and Ethan took it from Julie's hand and drank it for her. They looked like newlyweds at their own reception. A good match. You could see it.

Even knowing what I'd find, watching it in person was different. I cried.

"Donna." Ethan's underboss spotted me across the deck and stopped short. "You're here?"

Ethan heard it and turned. Something flickered in his eyes, there and gone, before he smoothed his face and walked over.

"You should've told me you were coming."

"If I had, would you have let me?" I kept my voice level.

His expression tightened, then softened again. He put his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, don't be like that. This whole family is yours. You know that. I was worried about your checkup."

I didn't look at him. I looked straight at Julie's left hand, that sapphire catching the light.

"I remember Julie wearing a different ring before. Bigger now. Looks like you’re getting married soon. Congratulations."

Julie glanced at her ring, then at Ethan, and shrugged with a small smile. "The last one wasn't right. Found someone better." Her voice had weight to it, and that softness underneath that wasn't really soft at all.

Ethan smiled at the rim of his glass, his eyes on her.

They had a whole language between them that kept me out.

I made myself smile back. "Moved on that fast. Anyone who didn't know better would think you had someone lined up already. The family takes a dim view of that kind of thing."

Julie's grip tightened on her glass. She reached over and touched Ethan's sleeve.

He got the message. "Why are you so vicious? If it's over, it's over. You don't own other people's choices."

If it's over, it's over. Years of a life together, and that was all it took.

I started to respond, but one of the other bosses pulled Ethan aside to talk business.

Julie raised her glass halfway. "How did the checkup go?" She smiled at me, stepped closer. "Can you still have children? Because a woman in this family who can't produce an heir, well, you know how that usually ends. Don't you? Maybe don't come to events like this. Last time alcohol was involved, you didn't just lose a pregnancy. Next time it might be worse."

Her smile was glass. Sharp at the edges.

I tightened my hand around my glass. Three seconds.

Then I snatched her champagne and threw it in her face.

I didn't even get one word out before something hit me hard in the chest. I flipped over the railing and went into the water.

Salt water filled my nose. The sound underwater was thick and dull. I fought toward the surface.

Through the blur I saw Ethan pull off his jacket and drape it over Julie's shoulders. He looked down at me in the water with something like fury.

"Anya. What the hell did Julie ever do to you? In front of everyone, you throw a drink on her? What is wrong with you?"

He walked Julie back toward the cabin and didn't look back.

The crew pulled me out. I couldn't stop shaking. The blanket they put around me didn't help at all.

Ethan's secretary helped me to my feet, jaw tight with anger. "Donna. Are you all right? The Don had no right." She couldn't finish the sentence. "If it weren't for everything you gave this family, none of us would even..."

I steadied my breathing. "Transfer Julie to Bordertown. And let the feds know the timetable for their sweep."

I fell ill after the fall. A doctor came to the house every day for the IV drip.

Today the line had just been set up when Ethan walked in fast. He shot the nurse dead, yanked the needle out of my hand, and blood welled up from the back of it. Then he put a bullet through the vase on the side table, for no reason at all.

"Anya. Who gave you the right to move my people? What the hell made you think you could send her to Bordertown? You know the feds are running a sweep out there right now."

He chambered a round and put the gun to my head.

I looked at him, disbelief filling my eyes.

Back when we ran the casino together, a soldier just looked at me a second too long and Ethan put a bullet in him. Now he was pointing a gun at my head because I'd reassigned Julie.

"You're that scared something might happen to her?" I said.

He hesitated and lowered the gun slowly. Something almost like panic moved across his face. "Don't change the subject."

I let out a cold laugh. I grabbed his wrist and redirected the barrel back at my head. "Then shoot me. Go ahead. Do it for her."

His hand went rigid. He pulled the gun back and stepped away.

"Anya—"

I looked at him, pressed the back of my bleeding hand to the sheet, and reached into the drawer. I set the separation agreement on the bed.

"Ethan. I know everything. I saw it all. Our marriage is over, and I'll make that announcement to the whole family."

He snatched the papers, crumpled them, and threw them at the floor. "Over my dead body!"

"Why?" I almost laughed for real. "I'm stepping aside. What more do you want?"

He met my eyes. His voice dropped.

"Yeah, I've been with someone else. But honestly, hand on your heart, what's left between us? No spark. I know your body, I've touched every inch of it, and I don't feel anything anymore. I'm a man. I need something alive."

"Julie knows how to make me feel things I haven't felt in years. I'm not cutting her off. And you're not leaving."

My fingers were shaking. "Ethan. You bastard!"

I swung at him. He caught my wrist, his thumb pressed against my pulse.

"I have no feelings for you anymore," he said, his voice smooth and almost gentle. "But the whole family respects your position. We shouldn't get divorced."

I yanked. He held tighter. A smile at the corner of his mouth.

I went after him, really went after him, tried to take the gun. He threw me onto the couch.

"You're insane." His eyes had nothing but contempt in them. "You’re wild and unreasonable, nothing like the gentle Donna. Julie is far more sensible than you."

That landed.

Because I was always like this. In the trash heaps, fighting for food. Throwing myself in front of a knife for him. Biting down on whoever tried to touch him and not letting go. He used to say that was exactly what he loved.

Somewhere along the way, he'd changed.

He crouched down beside me.

"We can't divorce. Not while the business depends on it. If you're unhappy, you can find someone else. You have no right to stop me just because you refuse to do the same."

He set his voice to something careful, almost kind.

"Anya. You're still young. We can have an open arrangement. It's not fair to either of us to stay locked into one person for life. This is better for you."

I stared at him.

My hand was still bleeding. My head was spinning and he was blurring at the edges. He said all of this like he was doing me a favor. Like it was reasonable. He was certain I would never actually go find someone. That's why he could say it.

His phone rang. He glanced at the screen, and the irritation drained out of his face. His eyes went soft.

"Julie needs me. Rest up."

He looked back once, saw my eyes were closed and got no answer, and left without another word.

I blacked out. When I came to, my phone screen was lit up. A video: Ethan and Julie in bed, his hands everywhere, his voice low, saying he wanted her to carry his child.

I watched it and felt nothing.

I scrolled to an unsaved number and called it. The voice on the other end was deep and quiet.

I spoke first. "What you offered before. I'm in."