Ethan and I met at a soup kitchen in the slums. We were fighting over half a moldy bread roll.

I only learned his story from other people later.

His father was the head of Lorencio's largest crime family, killed in a bloody power struggle from within. His mother took a payout and vanished.

My father was an accountant for another family. He was framed for cooking the books and shot dead.

Same story, same wound. That was what brought us together.

We clawed our way up from a crumbling slum to the marble halls of the Lorencio crime families, until finally Ethan took his seat as Don of the Valeria Family.

Nine years of marriage. No church. No proposal. Not even a proper cake.

Then one day, out of nowhere, Ethan said he wanted to get me a diamond ring.

"We had no church and no priest when we got married. I've been meaning to do this properly for a long time. And there'll be more to come."

I stared at the custom diamond in the display case, enormous and flawless, and felt something close to happiness.

The sales associate smiled and complimented his taste, mentioning that another couple had just ordered a ring too. They'd walked out minutes ago, planning a proposal for tomorrow.

"Nine years together and still this in love. That's everything."

I reached for his hand. He stepped away, said he needed to take a call.

I hadn't heard his phone ring.

I followed.

Down the hallway, I watched him press a woman against the wall, his mouth on hers. His voice was sharp with jealousy. "You actually agreed to let him propose to you?"

"Break it off. I'll buy you the ring."

I stood frozen. My chest caved in.

Then a pair of hands pulled me into a fitting room alcove. A man's breath was close, warm in the dark. A low voice, almost amused:

"Your husband's sleeping with my fiancée. Why don't we give it a try too?"

The sales associate had been waiting ten minutes for my signature. My palms were sweating, my hand too unsteady to hold the pen. She finally said, gently: "Ma'am, just your signature and it's yours. Right next to your husband's."

Ethan smiled, that easy warm smile, his chin resting on my shoulder. "Moved?"

I said nothing.

He wrapped a hand around my wrist. "Too much, too fast?"

"You've walked through gunfire without flinching. A signature shouldn't be this hard. Treat it like signing a contract. Relax."

His tone was patient. Indulgent. Performed.

All I could think about was the hallway.

We'd survived everything together. Stealing food off the street. Running weapons through the casinos. Fifteen years of living by the blade. At our worst, we were being hunted down by enemies with half a box of bullets between us, and neither of us would load our own clip because we kept trying to give the rounds to the other.

Later, when hitmen came for me, Ethan stormed the docks alone, took two gashes from a knife, and dragged me out anyway.

When he took a bullet running arms and couldn't risk a hospital, I bandaged him in our apartment, my hands shaking the whole time.

He'd bitten down on a towel, eyes red, and told me: "Nobody touches you. Anybody tries, I'll bury their whole family."

Nobody touched me anymore.

But now the person hurting me was him.

The hallway kept replaying. The sales associate smiled and smiled. I couldn't sign.

Eventually Ethan's patience wore thin. His brow tightened, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. He was about to say something when his secretary knocked, stepped in, took one look at the room, caught his eye, and said nothing at all. Something shifted in Ethan's face, a quiet understanding, and the coldness dissolved.

"Got it."

He reached over and signed my name for me. I hadn't even asked.

"Here." He handed me the ring box. "Take this home, get some rest. There's trouble with the family, and I have to go deal with it. I'll have someone drive you."

He cupped the back of my head and pressed his lips to my forehead, giving me that look, warm and tender, the one I used to believe.

After he left, I followed him.

His car did go straight to the family's operations building. I let myself exhale.

I was just about to leave when I spotted her.

A blonde woman threw herself into his arms and kissed his neck. He exhaled softly, pulled her in. It was the same woman from the hallway.

I recognized her face. Julie Banks. New liaison officer for the Valeria Family.

Ethan wrapped an arm around her waist. "Miss me?"

Julie pouted and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Of course. You went ring shopping with that old woman and I got jealous."

Ethan laughed under his breath. He walked her back against the table, took her breath away, and murmured: "You're the one who started this. If you hadn't let him buy you a ring, would I be doing this? Don't be angry. I already got you something." He slid a ring off her finger, tossed it aside, and fit a sapphire band onto her hand instead.

That ring was bigger than mine. By a lot.

Julie's eyes lit up and she kissed him.

I watched them tangled together in the family conference room, and a chill ran straight down my spine.

He used to criticize her constantly. At a formal sit-down, in front of the whole crew, he'd dressed her down right in front of the soldiers: sloppy, unprofessional, not ready for the work. Like he was about to fire her.

I'd even thought he was being too hard on her.

Now I understood. He was criticizing her because he had been paying attention to her, never mind that she already had a partner.

I dragged myself home and climbed into the pool to scrub myself clean over and over. The water was ice cold. I threw the diamond ring in the trash.

Ethan called a few times. I didn't pick up.

I opened Julie's social media instead.

The most recent post was a big night at the casino. In the corner of one photo, a cufflink: platinum, custom-made. I'd had it ordered for Ethan's birthday myself. I'd know it anywhere.

I scrolled back three months. Her birthday. She'd been out of town running an arms delivery, but someone had flown a helicopter out just to bring her a cake.

I tightened my grip on the phone.

That day, I'd been hunted by a rival family because Ethan had moved in on their territory. I called him. He told me he was busy.

Turns out he really was busy. Celebrating her birthday.

My eyes burned.

Ethan came up behind me, smelling like her perfume. His lips brushed my cheek. "Why aren't you wearing the ring?"

I said nothing.

He sighed. "Is it too small? Fine, I'll get you a bigger one. Don't be like this. You know your health isn't great, and you should dry your hair properly after a shower."

He picked up the blow dryer and started working through my hair, his fingers grazing my ear.

"Ethan."

"Yeah?"

"You said Julie was unprofessional. Transfer her to Bordertown. It's quieter there, less pressure."

"No."

He said it without a beat of hesitation. Hard and flat. A second later his eyes met my stunned gaze in the mirror, and he softened his tone just slightly.

"She's young. Not like you. She can't handle herself out there. Bordertown's dangerous right now." He stood, straightened his jacket, and walked out. "There's a meeting at the family house tonight. I'll be back late."

The tears I'd been holding fell.

When I'd been sent to Bordertown all those years ago, he was the one who sent me. Said it would be easier out there, a chance to breathe. But for Julie, the rules were different.

Ethan didn't come home that night, and his bodyguard confirmed he wasn't at the casino either. I'd finished lunch before he finally called.

His voice had a practiced edge of apology. "There was a problem with the shipment at the docks last night. Ran late. Didn't want to wake you. Sorry, something came up today too. I won't be able to go with you to the doctor's."

I smiled and said nothing.

In the early days, I ran the casino for him. I was pregnant then. I drank with some Thai arms dealers to close a deal and lost the baby. I had never been able to carry one since.

Back then, he drove himself to specialists across the country. He sat beside me in every waiting room, never once complaining, never once making me feel like a burden. That was when it mattered to him.

Now, just because of a single suggestion from me, he no longer bothers to come along.

"Call me after the checkup. Big sit-down tonight. I'm eating with the family, so I won't be home for dinner."

The Lorencio families held a full gathering every five years: every boss in the city, all in the same room. Since the family got back on track,, I'd stayed home, focused on my health and the possibility of a pregnancy. I never went.

Today I changed my mind.

I hung up, got dressed, and went.

Julie had her arm through Ethan's. They stood at the yacht's railing watching the sea, the crew gathered around them. Someone raised a glass, and Ethan took it from Julie's hand and drank it for her. They looked like newlyweds at their own reception. A good match. You could see it.

Even knowing what I'd find, watching it in person was different. I cried.

"Donna." Ethan's underboss spotted me across the deck and stopped short. "You're here?"

Ethan heard it and turned. Something flickered in his eyes, there and gone, before he smoothed his face and walked over.

"You should've told me you were coming."

"If I had, would you have let me?" I kept my voice level.

His expression tightened, then softened again. He put his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, don't be like that. This whole family is yours. You know that. I was worried about your checkup."

I didn't look at him. I looked straight at Julie's left hand, that sapphire catching the light.

"I remember Julie wearing a different ring before. Bigger now. Looks like you’re getting married soon. Congratulations."

Julie glanced at her ring, then at Ethan, and shrugged with a small smile. "The last one wasn't right. Found someone better." Her voice had weight to it, and that softness underneath that wasn't really soft at all.

Ethan smiled at the rim of his glass, his eyes on her.

They had a whole language between them that kept me out.

I made myself smile back. "Moved on that fast. Anyone who didn't know better would think you had someone lined up already. The family takes a dim view of that kind of thing."

Julie's grip tightened on her glass. She reached over and touched Ethan's sleeve.

He got the message. "Why are you so vicious? If it's over, it's over. You don't own other people's choices."

If it's over, it's over. Years of a life together, and that was all it took.

I started to respond, but one of the other bosses pulled Ethan aside to talk business.

Julie raised her glass halfway. "How did the checkup go?" She smiled at me, stepped closer. "Can you still have children? Because a woman in this family who can't produce an heir, well, you know how that usually ends. Don't you? Maybe don't come to events like this. Last time alcohol was involved, you didn't just lose a pregnancy. Next time it might be worse."

Her smile was glass. Sharp at the edges.

I tightened my hand around my glass. Three seconds.

Then I snatched her champagne and threw it in her face.

I didn't even get one word out before something hit me hard in the chest. I flipped over the railing and went into the water.

Salt water filled my nose. The sound underwater was thick and dull. I fought toward the surface.

Through the blur I saw Ethan pull off his jacket and drape it over Julie's shoulders. He looked down at me in the water with something like fury.

"Anya. What the hell did Julie ever do to you? In front of everyone, you throw a drink on her? What is wrong with you?"

He walked Julie back toward the cabin and didn't look back.

The crew pulled me out. I couldn't stop shaking. The blanket they put around me didn't help at all.

Ethan's secretary helped me to my feet, jaw tight with anger. "Donna. Are you all right? The Don had no right." She couldn't finish the sentence. "If it weren't for everything you gave this family, none of us would even..."

I steadied my breathing. "Transfer Julie to Bordertown. And let the feds know the timetable for their sweep."

I fell ill after the fall. A doctor came to the house every day for the IV drip.

Today the line had just been set up when Ethan walked in fast. He shot the nurse dead, yanked the needle out of my hand, and blood welled up from the back of it. Then he put a bullet through the vase on the side table, for no reason at all.

"Anya. Who gave you the right to move my people? What the hell made you think you could send her to Bordertown? You know the feds are running a sweep out there right now."

He chambered a round and put the gun to my head.

I looked at him, disbelief filling my eyes.

Back when we ran the casino together, a soldier just looked at me a second too long and Ethan put a bullet in him. Now he was pointing a gun at my head because I'd reassigned Julie.

"You're that scared something might happen to her?" I said.

He hesitated and lowered the gun slowly. Something almost like panic moved across his face. "Don't change the subject."

I let out a cold laugh. I grabbed his wrist and redirected the barrel back at my head. "Then shoot me. Go ahead. Do it for her."

His hand went rigid. He pulled the gun back and stepped away.

"Anya—"

I looked at him, pressed the back of my bleeding hand to the sheet, and reached into the drawer. I set the separation agreement on the bed.

"Ethan. I know everything. I saw it all. Our marriage is over, and I'll make that announcement to the whole family."

He snatched the papers, crumpled them, and threw them at the floor. "Over my dead body!"

"Why?" I almost laughed for real. "I'm stepping aside. What more do you want?"

He met my eyes. His voice dropped.

"Yeah, I've been with someone else. But honestly, hand on your heart, what's left between us? No spark. I know your body, I've touched every inch of it, and I don't feel anything anymore. I'm a man. I need something alive."

"Julie knows how to make me feel things I haven't felt in years. I'm not cutting her off. And you're not leaving."

My fingers were shaking. "Ethan. You bastard!"

I swung at him. He caught my wrist, his thumb pressed against my pulse.

"I have no feelings for you anymore," he said, his voice smooth and almost gentle. "But the whole family respects your position. We shouldn't get divorced."

I yanked. He held tighter. A smile at the corner of his mouth.

I went after him, really went after him, tried to take the gun. He threw me onto the couch.

"You're insane." His eyes had nothing but contempt in them. "You’re wild and unreasonable, nothing like the gentle Donna. Julie is far more sensible than you."

That landed.

Because I was always like this. In the trash heaps, fighting for food. Throwing myself in front of a knife for him. Biting down on whoever tried to touch him and not letting go. He used to say that was exactly what he loved.

Somewhere along the way, he'd changed.

He crouched down beside me.

"We can't divorce. Not while the business depends on it. If you're unhappy, you can find someone else. You have no right to stop me just because you refuse to do the same."

He set his voice to something careful, almost kind.

"Anya. You're still young. We can have an open arrangement. It's not fair to either of us to stay locked into one person for life. This is better for you."

I stared at him.

My hand was still bleeding. My head was spinning and he was blurring at the edges. He said all of this like he was doing me a favor. Like it was reasonable. He was certain I would never actually go find someone. That's why he could say it.

His phone rang. He glanced at the screen, and the irritation drained out of his face. His eyes went soft.

"Julie needs me. Rest up."

He looked back once, saw my eyes were closed and got no answer, and left without another word.

I blacked out. When I came to, my phone screen was lit up. A video: Ethan and Julie in bed, his hands everywhere, his voice low, saying he wanted her to carry his child.

I watched it and felt nothing.

I scrolled to an unsaved number and called it. The voice on the other end was deep and quiet.

I spoke first. "What you offered before. I'm in."