It turned out that Selena had known me for quite some time.

Back during the first day of the new semester, it had been raining cats and dogs. While waiting at the bus stop, I noticed a girl standing there, completely soaked. As my bus pulled up, I walked over and handed her my umbrella.

That was when Selena first developed feelings for me.

Later, when we crossed paths again, I didn't remember her. So, when we met at the bar, she had drunkenly clung to me like a mad woman and insisted on wanting to sleep with me. She did that because she had been secretly in love with me for all those years.

I understood the feeling of loving someone and not being able to have them—I had been there.

Right now, my heart ached for Selena as I looked at this foolish woman in front of me. Though they were best friends, she had no idea that Jessica and I had been an official couple. To her, it looked like I was just humiliating myself as I clung to her friend.

For five years, all she saw was the ugliest, most helpless side of me.

She had tried to stop caring about me, but one evening after work, she saw me again outside the office. I was standing in the cold, holding a thermos as I waited for Jessica. My cheeks were bright red, and I kept shifting my feet to stay warm, but I still wore a hopeful smile as I waited quietly.

When she saw me standing there, the feelings she wanted to discard came rushing back again.

She said that me treating her best friend that way proved I was a good person. And she had asked Jessica more than once if I was just a friend to her. Jessica had assured her that I was, so Selena believed that one day, I would turn around and see her.

Luckily, I did.

After being honest with each other, things between Selena and I became easier.

The more I got to know her, the more I realized what a great person she was—honest, straightforward, and considerate. Selena never lost her temper with me. She always listened carefully to what I had to say. Whenever we had a disagreement, we would have serious discussions.

Spending time with her made me really happy.

In the blink of an eye, two months had passed.

Selena had become a bigger part of my life. She started asking what I wanted for dinner, and would come by my office after work. After going grocery shopping together, we would prepare a meal, with me washing and chopping the ingredients while she cooked.

One time, she asked me for a spare key to my apartment, and I gave it to her without hesitation. As I handed the key to her, we both froze for a moment.

She looked at me and asked in a hoarse voice, "What if I moved in with you?"

When I refused, she immediately responded, "I was just joking."

Then, testing the waters, she hesitantly asked, "What about if I moved in next door?"

I didn't answer.

But to my surprise, just a couple of days later, she really did move into the empty apartment next door that had been vacant for two years.

One night, she knocked on my door, asking if she could use my bathroom since she didn't have hot water yet. Later, she stood in my bathroom, her hair wrapped in a towel, and asked if she could crash on my couch for the night because her place was too messy to sleep in.

She made sure to assure me that she wouldn't do anything, which made me laugh.

She was a woman. Wasn't she worried I would take advantage of her?

I ended up giving her my bedroom.

The next morning, she woke up early and made breakfast. When I got up, I saw her wearing an apron, working hard at the kitchen counter. This was the kind of life I had been dreaming of for the last five years.

In a completely impulsive moment, I pulled out my phone and took a picture of her back as she worked.

The next day, I found myself smiling at the photo in the office. My coworkers teased me, asking if I was in love since I had been walking around with a permanent smile on my face, and was much more cheerful than usual.

Was I?

Well, I hadn't thought about Jessica in a long time.

-

Living in the same building as Selena meant I would pick her up after work every day and drive us both back home.

One day, she called ahead to let me know I didn't need to pick her up. After questioning her for a while, she finally told me that Jessica had gotten into an argument with Cameron. He had disappeared for three days without any explanation, and Jessica wasn't doing well. So, Selena would be going over to her place to keep her company for a few days.

As I listened to her talk about Jessica, I realized something strange—I didn't feel upset at all. Instead, there was a strange sense of satisfaction, almost like revenge. I was petty enough to hope that Jessica would really understand what it felt like to have her feelings wasted.

Selena didn't come home until three days later. When we finally saw each other, she told me that Jessica was doing a lot better.

I ruffled her hair. "I'm not worried about how she's doing, silly."

"I've missed your cooking though," I added with a smile.

I changed the subject easily, and Selena's attention was quickly diverted. She eagerly pulled me out the door, heading to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for dinner.

I realized something then—I really didn't care about Jessica anymore. Even knowing she wasn't in the best place, I didn't think about her at all.

While we were having dinner that evening, Selena put on a pitiful expression and asked if I could spend the next day with her to celebrate her birthday. I checked the calendar, intending to make a note of when her birthday was to remember it in the future.

That was when I realized something—Selena's birthday was the same day as Jessica's mother's death anniversary.

In past years, it was the day I always spent with Jessica. I would take the day off from work and prepare all the ingredients for our meals. We would stay in the house together all day without going anywhere.

I dropped everything just to be there for her. We would talk, watch movies, water the plants on the balcony, and make dinner. I would wait for her to finish eating, then drape a blanket over her and watch her drift off to sleep on the couch.

Her mother's death anniversary was a day only she and I remembered. She never told anyone else—not even Selena.

The impact Jessica's mother's suicide had on her wasn't obvious to anyone else. The rumors at the time said her mother had been unfaithful, almost abandoning her family to run off abroad with her lover.

So, after her mother's death, Jessica continued on as usual. She went to work every day, showing no outward signs of being affected.

But I knew.

I knew Jessica was grieving. Every little movement, every gesture, even the smile on her face, was soaked in sadness.

I looked at the red mark on the calendar and silently erased it.

-

Today, I took my usual day off.

But instead of being with Jessica, I spent the day at an amusement park with Selena. For lunch, we went to the restaurant she'd been raving about for weeks, the one that served the best Eastern cuisine.

In the evening, I got a call from Jessica.

"Why didn't you come?" she asked, sounding tired.

"Lena asked me to stay with her," I replied.

On the other end of the line, there was a long silence.

After a while, Jessica finally asked, "Do you know what today is?"

"I know, but today is Selena's birthday. You should've had Cameron spend the day with you."

Jessica laughed bitterly. "I told him about today a week ago, but he still went mountain biking with his friends early in the morning. He's nothing like you. He doesn't care about my feelings."

I sighed softly. "Relationships take work, you know. Both people have to meet halfway."

Realizing that might have sounded too cold, I took a deep breath, changed my tone, and tried to comfort her.

"Are you okay? If you're feeling down, go for a walk or call a friend to hang out."

There was a long pause, then she hummed faintly in agreement before hanging up.

She had made her choice, and so had I.

I already started my new life; I couldn't be there for her forever.

The next morning, I woke up to two missed calls from Jessica. The first was at midnight, the second at two in the morning. During that time, I had already set my phone to silent and was sound asleep.

Looking at the missed calls, I couldn't help but remember the times when I would spend the entire night tossing and turning after Jessica and I argued. My chest would tighten like a dirty rag being twisted—dry, wrinkled, and painful. Eventually, unable to take the pain anymore, I would cave in and reach out to her first.

Back then, I was too scared to call. I would carefully craft the perfect text, choosing every word with caution, each sentence dripping with helplessness and humility.

No matter what we were fighting about, Jessica got used to me always being the one to apologize first. She would nod and play it cool, then we would make up like nothing had happened.

But last night, I had stayed up too late with Selena. After she went home, I barely managed to wash my face before collapsing into bed, exhausted.

If I hadn't seen Jessica's missed calls when I woke up, I probably would've forgotten about her entirely.

I thought for a moment, then decided to send her a quick message: [I was already asleep last night. Did you need something?]

After sending it, I got up and got ready for the day. When I picked up my phone again, I saw that Jessica had replied faster than I expected.

Her message was short: [It's nothing.]