Chapter 3

Priya texted me at seven forty-three on a Tuesday.

Emergency. Babysitter canceled. Nanny has the flu. My mom is in Phoenix. I have the Meridian call at ten and the Langford deck due by noon. I am begging you.

I stared at the message for a moment. Then I looked at my calendar. Then I looked at the address at the top of my calendar.

Then I texted back: Fine. Bring her to the lobby by eight-thirty.

I told myself it was a practical decision. Mango was easy, mostly. She liked her crayons and her juice box and she had a particular fondness for sitting in laps and declaring ownership of things. She would be fine in my office for a few hours. I had a door that closed.

What I did not fully account for was that Mango had been to Hoffman Capital once before, briefly, in the lobby, and had apparently filed the experience under Places I Would Like to Explore More Thoroughly.

She walked in holding my hand, looked around the pale stone atrium with its vertical light and its very serious art, and said, with great satisfaction: 'Big.'

'Yes,' I said. 'Don't touch anything.'

She touched the wall immediately.

---

I set her up in my office with her crayons and a juice box and a stack of blank paper I pulled from the printer. She accepted these offerings with the gracious efficiency of someone who had places to be and was simply resting between engagements.

I had forty minutes of actual work before it happened.

I heard it first — a sound from down the corridor that was not the usual sound of Hoffman Capital's very quiet, very expensive hallway. A small, purposeful pattering. Then Dana's voice, slightly elevated, saying something that ended in 'please come back.'

I was already standing up.

I got to my doorway in time to see Mango, crayon still in hand, making excellent time toward the far end of the corridor. Toward the open door of Zane's office, where I could hear his voice — low, controlled, mid-sentence on what sounded like a conference call.

I moved fast. Not fast enough.

Mango walked through the door like she owned the building.

I reached the threshold two seconds behind her and stopped.

Zane was at his desk, phone to his ear, a document open in front of him. He looked up. His eyes went to Mango, who had already crossed the room with the focused intention of someone who had identified a destination and committed to it. She reached his chair, grabbed the armrest with both hands, and began the determined process of climbing into his lap.

He went very still.

On the phone, someone was still talking. He said, 'Hold on,' in a voice that was entirely level, and set the phone down on the desk without hanging up.

Mango settled herself, looked up at him with complete satisfaction, and held out the crayon.

'Color,' she said.

I leaned against the doorframe. I crossed my arms. I said nothing.

Zane looked at the crayon. He looked at Mango. He looked at me.

I smiled.

His jaw did something complicated. He picked up the phone. 'I'll call you back,' he said, and ended the call, and set the phone down with the careful precision of a man who was using an object to avoid looking at another person.

Mango, satisfied that the phone situation had been resolved in her favor, began arranging her crayons on his mahogany desk in a row. One rolled off the edge. She watched it go. She looked at Zane. She pointed at the floor.

'Down,' she said.

He looked at her for a long moment. Then, with the expression of a man doing something he cannot explain and has decided not to try, he bent and picked up the crayon and set it back on the desk.

Mango patted his hand. 'Good,' she said.

I pressed my lips together.

'She's very comfortable with you,' I said. 'Considering you're a stranger.'

'Children don't find me comfortable,' he said. It came out slightly strained.

'Apparently she didn't get the memo.' I tilted my head. 'You look tired, Zane. All this must be a lot at your age.'

His eyes cut to me. 'I'm thirty-four.'

'Mm,' I said pleasantly.

Mango held up a blue crayon and said, 'Blue,' with the gravity of a formal announcement.

'Blue,' Zane confirmed, in a tone I had never heard from him before. Something had gone out of the usual control of it. Something that was not quite softness but was adjacent to it in a way that made me feel strange.

I straightened up. 'I'll take her back.'

'She's fine,' he said.

I looked at him.

He looked at the crayons.

'She's fine,' he said again, quieter.

---

The board meeting was at two.

I had arranged for Dana to sit with Mango in the small conference room adjacent to the boardroom, with the crayons and a second juice box and a very firm instruction that the door was to remain closed. Dana had nodded with the expression of someone who had already identified the flaw in this plan and was choosing not to voice it.

The flaw revealed itself at two twenty-three.

I was mid-sentence — something about the Q3 projections and the revised modeling — when the glass door at the far end of the boardroom opened. Not quickly. Slowly, with the careful deliberateness of a very small person who had figured out the handle.

Six board members turned to look.

Mango stood in the doorway in her small yellow dress, crayon in hand, and surveyed the room with the calm authority of someone arriving fashionably late to their own event. Her eyes moved around the table. They found Zane at the head of it.

Her face lit up.

'Daddy!' she said, and started across the room.

The silence was total.

I picked up my water glass and took a slow sip.

Zane's expression was unreadable. Completely, perfectly unreadable — the kind of blank that takes real effort to hold. I had seen that face in boardrooms and in arguments and once, a long time ago, in a moment I did not let myself think about anymore. I knew what it cost him.

Mango reached his chair and grabbed his sleeve. He looked down at her. Something moved across his face that he shut down immediately.

The board member to his left — a man named Garrett who I had already identified as the most easily unsettled person in the room — cleared his throat.

I set down my glass.

'I apologize for the interruption,' I said, in my most professional voice. 'She belongs to a colleague. I'll have her removed.'

I stood, walked to Zane's end of the table, and crouched down to Mango's level. 'Come on, bug. Back to Dana.'

Mango looked at me. She looked at Zane. She appeared to weigh her options.

'No,' she said, and climbed into his lap.

Somewhere to my left, someone made a sound that was quickly suppressed.

I straightened up. I looked at Zane. He was looking at me with an expression that had about six things happening in it simultaneously, and the one I recognized most clearly was the one he was working hardest to hide.

He thought she was mine. He had thought so since the wedding. And every time Mango reached for him, every time she said that word, it was another turn of something he couldn't name and couldn't put down.

I let him sit with it for exactly three seconds.

Then I said, calmly, to the room: 'Shall we continue with the Q3 projections?'

And I walked back to my seat and did not look at him again.

But I felt it — the weight of his gaze following me down the length of the table, steady and unblinking and full of a question he didn't know how to ask.

I opened my folder.

The second small revenge, I decided, was even better than the first.

Chapter 4

The car was black and quiet and smelled like leather and something I couldn't place — cedar, maybe, or the particular absence of anything cheap. Zane sat beside me with two inches of seat between us, which was two inches more than the space felt like.

I was watching the city slide past the window when I felt it.

His hands. The cool weight of metal at my throat. The soft, deliberate click of a clasp.

I went completely still.

In the glass of the window, I could see the reflection of it — a necklace, old gold, a single stone that caught the passing streetlights and held them. His hands withdrew. He said nothing. He straightened his cuffs and looked forward like he hadn't just done something that required a conversation.

I kept my eyes on the window.

'You always did have a talent,' I said, 'for making things feel like gifts when they're actually claims.'

A pause. The city moved.

'It was my mother's,' he said.

I said nothing. I did not touch the necklace. I did not take it off.

The car pulled up to the Met and the door opened and I stepped out into the cold October air with his late mother's gold at my throat, and I told myself it meant nothing, and I was almost convincing.

---

The gala was the kind of event that existed to remind people of the distance between themselves and everyone else in the room. Champagne that cost more than my first London paycheck. Flowers that had been flown in from somewhere with a better climate. Men in black tie who had never once worried about anything, and women who had learned to look like they hadn't either.

I had learned. Four years of London had taught me how to walk into a room like this and take up space without apology.

I worked the room the way I worked a deal — methodically, warmly, with the specific kind of attention that makes people feel like the most interesting person you've spoken to all evening. A fund manager from Boston who wanted to talk about emerging markets. A partner from a Singapore firm who had questions about the Torres Ventures model. Two men whose names I collected and whose cards I pocketed and whose interest I noted with the detached efficiency of someone who had learned that attention was a resource, not a compliment.

Zane watched me from across the room.

I knew because I could feel it. That particular quality of attention — steady, unblinking, the kind that doesn't shift when you move. I had felt it at the wedding. I felt it now, warmer and more focused, like something that had been patient for a very long time and was running out of patience.

I did not look at him. I laughed at something the Boston fund manager said and touched the necklace once, briefly, without meaning to, and moved on.

A woman beside me — someone's wife, someone's colleague, I had already forgotten — leaned in and said, quietly, 'He hasn't looked away from you all night.'

'Hasn't he,' I said.

'Do you know him?'

'Professionally,' I said, and smiled, and excused myself.

I found the corridor by accident. Or I told myself it was by accident. It was off the main hall, past a gallery of something ancient and lit from below, and it was quiet in the way that places are quiet when the noise is just far enough away to feel like another world. I stopped in front of a marble figure that had been standing in this building longer than either of us had been alive and breathed for the first time all evening.

I heard him behind me.

I didn't turn around. I watched his reflection appear in the dark glass of the display case — the suit, the set of his shoulders, the particular way he moved that I had spent four years trying to stop recognizing.

He stopped close. Too close. The kind of close that had a question in it.

'You're avoiding me,' he said.

'I've been working the room,' I said. 'That's what you brought me here for.'

'Katalina.'

I turned around.

He was right there. The corridor was narrow and the light was low and his eyes were doing the thing they did when he had run out of the particular patience he used in boardrooms — something rawer underneath, something that had been pressing against the surface all night.

He moved. One hand came up, flat against the stone wall beside my head. Not grabbing. Not forcing. Just — there. Closing the distance until there was no distance left.

I should have said something sharp. I had something sharp ready. I had been carrying it all evening like a card I could play.

He kissed me.

And I — God help me — kissed him back.

Four years collapsed into nothing. My hand was at his lapel and his other hand was at my jaw and it was furious and desperate and achingly familiar, the specific grammar of two people who had memorized each other and never fully unlearned it. He kissed me like he was apologizing for something he didn't have words for yet. I kissed him back like I was angry about it, which I was, which didn't seem to matter.

Then I pulled away.

I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth. Looked at him. His breathing was unsteady. His hand was still on the wall.

I straightened my dress. I did not touch the necklace.

'Don't,' I said quietly, and walked back into the light.

---

The champagne was a reason. The four years were the real reason. The hotel suite was on the forty-second floor and the city was spread out below us like something that had no opinion about any of this, and I had stopped pretending somewhere between the elevator and the door.

It was electric and furious and entirely mutual. We knew each other's bodies the way you know a language you learned young — fluently, without thinking, the muscle memory intact even when everything else had changed. I did not let myself be tender. I did not let myself linger in the afterward, in the particular warmth of his arm across my back and his breathing slowing beside me.

I lay still until it steadied. Until I was sure he was asleep.

Then I got up.

I dressed in the dark. I found my shoes. I took the necklace off and set it on the nightstand, and then I picked it back up, and then I set it down again. I left it.

I found the notepad on the desk — the kind hotels leave beside the phone — and I wrote four words. I counted out the bills from my wallet, more than enough, and set them on top of the note.

At the door, I looked back once.

He was asleep. One arm extended across the empty space where I had been, like a question he was asking in his sleep.

I left.

In the elevator, going down, I pressed my back against the mirrored wall and looked at my own reflection — dress slightly wrinkled, hair half-undone, throat bare where the necklace had been — and I told myself I felt nothing.

The note read: *For services rendered. You've gotten worse with age.*

It was a lie. That was the worst part. It was a complete and total lie, and I had left it on a nightstand forty-two floors up, and I was going to have to live with what that meant.

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