When I Finally Let You Go

“I’ve prepared both the divorce papers and my resignation letter.I’ve finally decided to leave Fredric Gilbert for good.”

My best friend’s eyes went wide with shock.“Didn’t he say he was finally going to make your relationship public?Why are you suddenly divorcing him?”

I gave her a bitter smile.

I had waited five years for Fredric to acknowledge me publicly as his wife.Five years of a hidden marriage.But truth be told,I had loved him for fifteen years since we were children.

Even if he was cold as ice,I was willing to keep warming him,saying“I love you”again and again,even if it took ninety-nine times to melt him.

Everyone thought I would never leave Fredric.

But two weeks ago,the day my mother was dying,I begged him to drive me to the hospital.He left me on the side of the highway in a torrential downpour,all because his first love had called.

By the time I finally made it to the hospital,drenched and trembling,my mother only had enough strength to hold my hand before she passed away.

That moment shattered me.

I had always told myself Fredric was just emotionally distant,not heartless.

But at the hospital,his first love smiled sweetly at me and said,“Can’t you tell?Fredric is cold to everyone except me.”

Then she threw a photo in my face.In it,the man I loved,who hated mess and never touched anyone,was gently wiping milk from the corner of her mouth,looking at her with a softness I had never once seen in his eyes.

I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.

I could never warm his heart.

But that woman,she was his flame.

So,I decided to let go.A week ago,I quietly placed the divorce papers on his desk.He didn’t even glance at them before signing.

Seven more days and I’ll be free.

Outside the café,Fredric’s black sedan was parked by the curb.He had come to pick me up,cold and indifferent as always,but never asking if I wanted the ride.

He glanced at me,frowning slightly,since he wasn’t used to my silence.

“That contract you gave me to sign a few days ago,which company was it with?”

***

I opened my mouth to answer,but he cut me off,“Never mind.It doesn’t matter.I trust your judgment.”

That one sentence cut deeper than a knife.

For five years,I’d clung to that phrase"I trust you"thinking it meant he was finally learning to rely on me.Finally seeing me as more than a shadow behind him.

But today,I understood.

It wasn’t trust.

It was indifference.

He never asked what I was working on.Never cared if I succeeded or failed.As long as I didn’t embarrass him publicly,my presence didn’t matter.

For a moment,I wanted to lash out,to scream,“That contract wasn’t a business deal,it was our divorce agreement!”

But before I could speak,his phone rang.

He looked at the caller ID and his face softened.I could see if those sharp,unreadable eyes melted in an instant.

He picked up the call,his voice tender,so unfamiliar I barely recognized him.

“You’re not feeling well?Don’t push yourself.I’ll come get you now,okay?”

Every ounce of strength drained from me.

I turned my face away,swallowed the words that had burned in my throat and sat in silence.

When he stopped the car at a random street corner,I opened the door and stepped out without waiting for him to speak.

The cold wind bit at my neck,but it still wasn’t as cold as my heart.

Fredric and I grew up together as childhood sweethearts,if you could call it that.

Back then,I was like a little sun,always chasing after him,calling out,“Fredric!”with a smile wide enough to split the sky.

I believed like some teenage dream that if I stayed bright and warm enough,one day I’d melt his frost.Just like Belle eventually melted the beast prince in those fairy tail stories.

But real life isn’t a fairy tail.

I was never the heroine.

In high school,I watched him fall head over heels for another girl.A clumsy,messy,overly apologetic girl who couldn’t cook to save her life.

Her bentos were half-raw,over-salted nightmares,yet he ate every bite without complaint,even smiling up at her and saying,“Delicious.”

Once,she spilled coffee on his expensive shoes and nearly burst into tears.He didn’t scold her.

Instead,he gently dried her hands,softly whispering,“It’s okay.Don’t be scared.”

I,on the other hand,spent years mastering his favorite dishes.I made sure every plate was tailored to his picky taste.But all I ever got was a polite nod,maybe a bite or two,never once a compliment.

I tiptoed around his germophobia,never daring to get too close.

She?She barged right in with no hesitation.

They were in love for three years.

But she couldn’t handle his coldness in the end.She decided to leave him and moved abroad without looking back.

Back then,Fredric wanted to chase after her.But his family got into trouble and to secure the support of my family,he agreed to an arranged marriage with me.

I loved him for so long.So,I agreed without hesitation.

Even knowing it wasn’t love.Even when he asked me to keep it secret.Even when he told me he didn’t love me.

I still said yes.

I thought time and devotion would fill the space she left behind.

Over the next five years,I stood by his side.Managed his business crises,smoothed over the gossip and helped his company survive the storm until I became his second-in-command.

I thought he was softening.

This year,he even said several times he was ready to make our relationship public.

I believed it.

I believed he was finally moved by my efforts.

But then she came back.

Deana Mcmillan,his soft-spoken,naive high school sweetheart.

They said she’d been hurt by a bad relationship abroad.Whatever the case,Fredric Gilbert,the man I thought was untouchable,rushed to her side before she’d even broken things off with her ex.

I was his wife for five years,but I never saw him like that.

He cooked for her.Delivered soup to her door.Cancelled meetings the moment she called.

And that promise to make our marriage public?

Gone.Not a word about it since she returned.

And not long ago,because of a single call from her,he left me stranded on a rain-soaked highway while I begged him to drive me to my dying mother’s bedside.

I never even got to say goodbye.

When I got home,I quietly started packing.

One by one,I pulled the dust-covered dresses from the closet.The ones I’d bought for his company banquets.The ones I had imagined him praising with a simple,“You look nice.”

But he never once noticed.

The bookshelf was the same.Row after row of heavy business books I’d forced myself to study just to keep up with him.

I found an old notebook.Inside,in a red pen,I had once written,“Hang in there.He’ll see how hard you’re trying.”

I stared at the words for a long time before gently placing the notebook into a box.

When Fredric came home,he noticed the bare room.

“You’re packing?”he asked,puzzled.

“Just getting rid of old things,”I replied,voice flat.“They’re gathering dust.”

He hummed in acknowledgment.“Buy new ones.Whatever you like.”

That was it.

Not a flicker of concern.Not even a glance my way.

Later that night,he stepped out of the bathroom,his hair still wet,carrying the scent of his cold pine shampoo.He sat on the edge of the bed,wrapping an arm around my waist as naturally as always.

“My mom asked when we’re having a baby,”he said,voice low.

Once upon a time,I would’ve laughed and wrapped my arms around him.I would’ve squealed,“The sooner the better!”

But now,I gently pushed him away.“I’m not feeling well,”I said,quietly.

He frowned.“Your period’s over,isn’t it?”

“I just…don’t want to.”

He looked like he wanted to say something,but didn’t.In the end,he turned and walked out.

I remembered the first time we were intimate.

I had cried from the pain but still smiled through it,because I thought…this was love.

Even when it became routine,even when it started to feel like an obligation,I endured it.Smiling.Hoping one day it would mean something.

But not anymore.

This marriage doesn’t mean anything to me now.

Seven days.

Just seven more days—and I’ll be free.