The Season I Left You Behind

Sheila Mason and I made a bet.

Whoever finished the experiment first would marry Stanley Henson.

To win, I ran data day and night, and the day I was about to succeed, an earthquake hit.

I was buried for six days.

On the seventh day, Stanley carried me out with his eyes rimmed red — and took the leg off at the knee.

After the surgery he stroked my hair like he loved me, and the words that came out were ice.

"It wasn't an earthquake. It was a blast test. I designed it."

"Your experiment was almost done. Sheila's depression flared up and she collapsed at home."

"Eudora Swanson, stop competing with her. Once Sheila is better, I'll give you a wedding to make up for it."

Fine. This time, I won't compete.

...

Outside the door, I heard my brother's voice.

"Isn't this too cruel? With your skill, you could have saved that leg!"

Stanley didn't care.

"Eudora always has to one-up everyone. Crippling this leg is the only way she'll settle down and stop fighting Sheila for attention."

My brother hesitated. "But she's about to leave for the competition abroad. Without her leg, how is she supposed to dance..."

"Eudora has me. She doesn't need to be out there in the spotlight. She's the young Mrs. Henson. Who would dare say a word if she's down a leg? I'll protect her for the rest of her life."

My brother went quiet.

The leg that wasn't there anymore flared white-hot, and I went bloodless and silent under it.

Stanley came in and touched my forehead, anxious.

"What is it? Where does it hurt?"

But I'd noticed the ring on his hand.

It wasn't our engagement ring.

He curled his fingers in on instinct. "The girl wouldn't let it go. I put it on to humor her."

I looked at the lone ring on my own hand and laughed at myself.

Before, no matter how I begged, he refused to wear it. Turned out it was never about surgery getting in the way. He just hadn't wanted to.

I slid the ring off. "Take it back."

Stanley laughed. "Throwing a tantrum again! You think this is something you just hand back? I only put it on because Sheila had an episode."

I looked at him, steady. "And that one's something you can just put on?"

The gentle mask finally cracked.

"This too? You'll compete over this too? If you hadn't stolen twenty years of Sheila's life and her fortune, she wouldn't be sick, and I wouldn't have to make it up to her. And anyway, the one engaged to me should have been Sheila all along."

The room went silent for a beat.

Stanley knew he'd said too much. His voice softened.

"That's not what I meant. Be good. Once she's well, I'll give you something grand to make up for—"

I cut him off. "Don't bother. I'll go. I'll leave you two to be happy."

His hand stilled, then he laughed again.

"Go? Where? Your orphanage? Make me come chasing after you in a big production to feed your vanity? Pulling these little stunts for attention every day. Don't you get tired, Eudora?"

I started to explain. No. This time it's abroad. I'm not coming back.

Sheila's ringtone went off.

"Stanley, Sheila pricked her finger, it's bleeding, it's so scary! Am I going to die?"

Stanley grabbed his coat.

"How were you so careless? Don't move, wait for me, I'm coming."

He never looked at me once, not even leaving.

I laughed at myself and looked at the empty space where my legs should be.

I thought of the 386 calls I'd made to him, all the rambling little messages I'd sent into a phone that never lit up with an answer, and only then did it sink in.

The one he carried in his heart was never me.

The ring was still lying in my palm. I opened my hand and let it roll to the floor.

Stanley. You've thrown me away too many times.