Chapter 2: Am I really into girls?

Charlotte's POV

I walked out of the class trying to breathe normally.

Max had just kissed my forehead and told me to meet him outside later and all I could think was: Thank God he didn't suspect anything.

Yes, he did look at my phone for a solid three minutes but said nothing and just smiled at me.

Because if he saw the app, the notifications.

Oh God! My funeral will be tomorrow.

I hugged my bag tighter and walked faster.

Then I passed their table. Amber sat in the middle like some Queen bee, flipping her shiny hair while two of her friends leaned close to her. They weren't even whispering quietly; they wanted the whole hallway to hear them.

"Did you guys see that post?" one girl asked. "Apparently so many people in this school are secretly using dating apps."

My heart dropped straight to my shoes.

"My dear, half of this school is double timing online, using fake names and acting innocent in public, Oh my gosh, seriously?" the other girl gasped.

Amber nodded, sipping her iced coffee

"People would be shocked if they knew who was really behind those profiles"

The girls giggled.

I froze for half a second, not long enough for them to notice but long enough for me to hear my heart beat.

Why did it feel like she was talking about me?

I kept walking, but my legs were shaking. I could feel their eyes on my back or maybe I was just overthinking.

I reached the end of the hallway and breathed out slowly.

Okay, okay, it's fine.

They're probably talking about someone else.

But the one thing that wouldn't leave my brain: what if my secret gets out?

"Why are you staring at the wall like that ?" Maya said.

"I'm not smiling at the wall" I said, trying to figure out when Maya got there.

"I said, staring not smiling you fool"

I rolled my eyes. "Girl, relax."

But she didn't.

She kept staring at me like a suspicious bride at a wedding.

We walked down the hallway and people kept greeting me the usual way.

I did my usual fake smile because apparently, people in this school decided I must be the unofficial girl everyone wants to be. There's nothing that special about me, to be honest, except maybe my ability to walk into a life crisis.

Maya kept giving side eyes at Max outside the classroom.

She literally hissed under her breath.

"What?" I whispered.

"Nothing," she muttered but her voice was doing that angry trembling thing.

Maya has been acting strange ever since Max and I started dating.

Like she swallowed pepper and refused to drink water.

But I ignored it, I was too busy thinking about my life problems.

School dragged on, teachers talked and talked, I nodded and nodded, but my brain? Somewhere else.

Max texted :

"Lunch together?"

I texted back "Sure."

But there was no spark, no excitement.

Just bleh!

Maybe because I kept replaying Sophie's voice in my head, okay fine, not her voice because I don't even know what she sounds like, just the messages.

The way she talks to me, the way she makes me feel like someone actually understands me.

But I wasn't going to say that out loud.

I wasn't even ready to say it in my own brain properly.

At lunch, Maya sat beside me but didn't talk much. She kept poking her food like she was punishing it.

"You good?" I asked.

"Yep."

That was obviously a lie, a big fat one.

Max was laughing with his friends and barely looking at me.

He suddenly leaned toward me and whispered,

"Come over later?"

"For what?"

To watch him play video games or have sex for the hundredth time this month.

"I don't think I can but I'll try " I shrugged

He didn't even notice the tone of my voice.

He just nodded like "cool whatever."

Honestly? It felt like he only remembered I existed if he wanted to do something.

My phone buzzed and I jumped with excitement, a message from Sophie_wtf

I hid my screen immediately and Maya narrowed her eyes.

"Who are you texting?"

"Relax," I said quickly. "It's just someone."

"Someone?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged and stuffed the phone deeper into my pocket.

I couldn't tell her I'd been texting an online girl who made me feel weird things,I couldn' t even tell myself that properly.

After school, I went home and my mum was already waiting in the living room with her bible open.

"Charlotte, come sit," she said gently.

I sighed but obeyed.

She looked at me the way she always does,like she can see every thought, I'm trying to hide.

"You've been quiet lately," She said.

"I'm fine," I lied.

"You know God cares about you," she added," You can talk to me anytime."

I nodded, but inside I felt this small ache,because If she knew how confused I felt,how not straight I might be and how Max made me do things a normal Christian teen won't do. She'll probably ship me to hell fire.

I swallowed hard and excused myself quickly.The moment my bedroom door shut, I dove for my phone.

Two messages.

Sophie_wtf:

"Hey chaotic girl,talk to me, I'm bored."

"I asked you something serious last night, you ghosted me lol."

My heart jumped , Oh God! Oh no!

I opened the chat.

Me: "Sorry I slept early, but you have me all through the night so let's talk"

Her reply came in instantly

" Yesss took you long enough, I gotta ask you something kind of weird,"

Uh oh... now I'm scared,

Then came the message that made my knees go weak for a second:

"Are you like lesb....? "

I stared at my screen, Wait what? Does she mean lesbian? Does she like me too?

"Oh my gashhh, I didn't mean it like that! I swear!" Sophie added, almost immediately.

"lol no ,it's fine uh well do you mean lesbian?"I texted back trying to hide the fact I was blushing.

There was a pause before Sophie's next message:

"Yes but I swear, I don't know why I typed that I think I'm overstimulated and I kind of like you, I know we don't know each other in real life but that's kind of a good thing because my life is actually really messy".

My heart was beating uncontrollably fast "She likes me? I feel that way too"

"And on this app you're chill and I can be myself and you don't judge me and I should probably just shut up now and wait for you to reply because I'm talking too much" Sophie continued.

" No ,don't shut up, I think I like you too" I texted back with shaking hands.

"So would you be my girlfriend maybe, that's if you're cool with it" she added a crying emoji at the back.

I was literally biting my lips while reading her messages, like I know I'll regret all my decisions later but I guess I love making bad decisions.

"Yeas babe, I'll be your girlfriend "I took a deep breath.

Sophie's response came immediately, " See we're already coupling"

I felt an ache in my heart and I immediately remembered Max and my mummy,what would they think if they ever found out ? This is insane and literally amazing at the same time.

"Ohh also, I'm being transferred to a new school"

Her typing bubble then appeared, disappeared, came back and disappeared again.

And finally, she sent a message .

"And the school's name is Bridge something"

"Do you know it?"

My heart stopped working,Oh God! please don't let her be talking about my school, I reread the messages over and over again and I wanted to reply, when she texted back

"Oh wait it's bridgehall academy"

Chapter 3 : knock knock trouble

Charlotte's POV

Out of all the schools in the world to go to , why did it have to be mine? I started pacing in my room, debating on what exactly I should tell her .

"Ohhh, I've heard of that school before. It's a very boring place and nothing exciting happens there".

The moment I sent this, regret grabbed my neck but it was already too late. I threw my phone on the bed, switched off my lights and pretended to go to sleep like that would magically solve all my problems.

The next morning, I walked into school clutching my books like they were emotional support objects. I barely slept, my dreams were just Sophie's message floating around my head like a ghost

I was still trying to breathe like a normal mammal and I had barely opened my laptop, when someone dropped into the seat beside me so hard the whole table shook.

Nai Brook, head cheer captain, loudest human on the planet and my friend, I think.

Sometimes I wonder if she sleeps with her hair tied to a ring light because how else does it stay bouncing like that? Meanwhile I woke up today looking like a squashed plantain. Life was not fair.

"Babe, you will not believe what just happened," she announced, flipping her ponytail like she was auditioning for something.

I sighed and shut my laptop slowly, Goodbye peace.

"What happened now?" I asked.

I braced myself, this girl only comes with two types of news: gossip that shakes the entire school or gossip that somehow ruins my day first before shaking the entire school.

She leaned in, wearing that smile she does when she's pretending everything is fine, it's cute, but it never means good news and okay maybe I noticed she looked me up and down too long.

I know she says she's happy for me, but the way she always brings up my "perfect boyfriend" makes me suspicious, seriously girl just shut up about it already .

"I swear your relationship is trending," she said, half laughing, half annoyed. "Everybody keeps asking if you two are still together, because you haven't posted anything in weeks."

I rolled my eyes so hard they could've flown out the window. I mean, imagine if people judged your relationship based on your Instagram activity.

Some of us are fighting for our lives academically, emotionally, spiritually, we can't be posting soft launch pictures every minute.

"People act like if you don't post, you've broken up."

Nai shrugged. "Well I'm just saying. Charlotte this, Charlotte that, you're like the girl everyone wants to be right now."

There it was, that weird tone.

The "I love you but I kind of hate you but I still love you" tone.

The tone that makes me want to squint at her like,

Are you okay? Or are you planning my downfall?

Because honestly, with Nai, both are possible.

Before I could answer, she reached for my laptop.

I smacked her hand "Don't touch my stuff!"

"I wasn't! I was just checking the time!" she said, even though the clock was literally on the wall.

I hugged the laptop closer "Right,totally believable."

She stared at me for a second, her expression softer than usual "You okay though? You've been acting, I don't know, distracted."

I mean, she wasn't wrong but how do I explain distracted without explaining everything?

"I'm fine," I lied, because the last thing I needed was her turning my life into a whole school wide announcement.

She didn't look convinced, but before she could push it, the bell rang. Nai stood up, fixing her skirt and brushing her hair behind her ears.

Her eyes stayed on my face like she was trying to read my thoughts but if she could, she'd be traumatized.

My thoughts right now are basically:

panic and Sophie's username on repeat.

"Fine, whatever but after school, you're telling me everything."

"I literally have nothing to tell," I said.

"Sure" she said, giving me a look like she knew I was lying.

She grabbed her bag and walked off, her ponytail swinging like it had its own personality.

I waited until she disappeared around the corner before I opened my laptop again. My heart was beating stupidly fast for no reason and my hands were sweaty.

But before the screen even loaded, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I pulled it out and stared at my screen. My stomach dropped to my knees and my brain simply said, "We are finished."

The notification said:

"A new student was added to Bridgehall's roster."

And underneath it a name, Sophie Hart

Immediately, I ran to the bathroom to wash my face. I couldn't believe it. My brain was spinning and my hands were shaking.

"Calm down, calm down, calm down..." I whispered to myself, splashing more water on my face. The droplets went into my bra, which was annoying, but I was too stressed to care.

It's not like she even knew who I was.

I kept repeating that part like I was hypnotizing myself.

She didn't know I was Lottie and my profile picture on the app was blurry because Maya said "mystery is sexy" Her words, not mine.

I inhaled big girl oxygen and pushed the bathroom door open.

The hallway was somehow quiet and loud at the same time.

People were whispering, but the whispers felt like shouts. Even some Year 12 boys who normally acted like their fathers owned the whole school suddenly stood straighter, like they were trying not to look too impressed.

A girl from my class even dropped her lip gloss, and it rolled across the floor dramatically and no one picked it up. That was how serious the vibe was.

I wiped my wet face with my sleeve, trying to look normal, but my heartbeat was still going "KUNG KUNG KUNG" like it wanted to make an exit through my ribs.

Everyone's eyes were glued to something behind me.

"She looks like a rebel," someone whispered.

I turned around and Sophie walked in and stared at me .

Chapter 4

Charlotte's POV: My online girlfriend

She didn't see me or maybe she did and didn't recognize me because why would she?

I could breathe normally again or sort of. I always thought transfer students were supposed to look confused or maybe holding a map upside down.

But the girl walking through the hallway right now? Yeah, no. She looked like she walked out of a dramatic anime intro with theme music blasting behind her.

She had dark messy wolf cut hair and people actually slowed down to stare. Someone bumped into a locker because they weren't looking and a group of girls whispered, "Who is she??" like she was a celebrity.

Max saw her and immediately stopped laughing mid sentence, his whole face rearranged itself like someone punched him. His smile dropped and his grip on his backpack strap tightened.

Charles leaned in, whispered something to him, and Max shoved him lightly, but his eyes didn't move from her.

Before I could even process any of that, Maya came sprinting toward me.

"Charlotte!" She grabbed my arm dramatically. "Have you seen the new girl? Why is she that hot? Why is my school allergic to transferring ugly girls?"

"Maya..."

"Oh my gosh, you think she's cute too, don't you? Wait Piper from the LGBTQ group just texted me." She shoved her phone in my eyeballs. "They said she looks like she escaped a biker gang, I'm scared but also emotionally attached already."

Someone behind her said, "She looks like she beats people up for fun," and Maya gasped and said that is so romantic.

Classic Maya, she always lived loudly inside her own rainbow universe.

"Maya, please breathe," I whispered.

"I can't breathe," she whispered back. "Can you see her? She looks like a cartoon character."

I rubbed my forehead, ready to tell her to calm down, when Max suddenly stood way too close to me, too close for normal Max behavior.

His hands slipped to my waist like he was trying to claim me or protect me, honestly I had no idea.

He never touched me like that in public.

"Don't stare too much," he muttered.

Excuse me??

Why is he acting weird?

I turned to look at him, but he avoided my eyes while Charles crossed his arms behind him, nodding like he was watching a live episode of drama.

"Interesting!" Charles whispered.

What is interesting??

Someone explain something to me.

Whispers started popping up around the hallway like popcorn.

"Is she a model?"

"Bro she looks dangerous."

"No way she's our age."

"I bet she has tattoos."

Someone even said, "I heard she got expelled from two schools," which was physically impossible because she arrived literally ten minutes ago but this school loves drama more than oxygen.

A group of year eights ran past screaming,

"The new girl is so cool, I'm scared of her "

Great, perfect, lovely, exactly what my heart needed while I was internally combusting.

Before I could interrogate anyone, my phone buzzed.

"Lottie guess who's at Bridgehall Academy."

My whole soul collapsed, Sophie was texting me while I stood ten steps away from her.

I looked up again, and Sophie wasn't staring at me, she was staring at Max.

My stomach dropped straight to my ankles.

Why him? Why that look?

My brain ran through every single possible nightmare scenario in two seconds:

Do they know each other? Did she recognize him before me? Does Max know her? Does Sophie know that I know him? Does anyone know anything about anything??

I felt like a character in a movie who suddenly realizes she is not the main character in the movie anymore.

Max stiffened like someone punched him with air, but before I could even ask what was wrong, he suddenly leaned in and kissed me.

It wasn't romantic, It wasn't sweet and it felt like a shield, a cover to hide behind.

People gasped and someone yelled, "Damn"

I think I heard a phone camera shutter.

Max pulled back, but didn't look at me even for a second. His eyes snapped straight back to Sophie and Sophie didn't look away.

My heart was beating like it was trying to run out of my body, everything felt so unreal and I was panicking

So I did the only thing my brain could think of: stick to Max's side like glue. If I acted normal, maybe nobody would see the emotional fire burning inside me.

"Charlotte? Are you okay?" Maya asked, her eyebrow raised like she already knew I was lying.

"I'm fine," I said too fast, "I'm perfect."

She stared at me,"Why are you holding Max's sleeve like that?"

I looked down and I was, I dropped it immediately and laughed, a laugh that sounded like a dying cow.

"I'm just tired."

Her jaw tightened in that tiny way she does, when she's pretending to be unbothered.

Her arms crossed, then uncrossed, then crossed again.

She bit her lip, glanced at Sophie, then at me like she was trying to solve an equation she didn't like.

Maya wasn't dramatic anymore, she was quiet,

too quiet and that scared me more than anything.

Then Sophie stepped closer, Her boots echoed on the floor in that slow, dramatic way villains walk in movies, Max looked tense beside me and Maya's entire vibe shifted fully from rainbow to storm cloud.

"I'll see you later," Maya said, oddly quiet and walked past us without looking back.

My chest hurt a little at how cold that sounded, but I didn't have time to think about it because a soft voice spoke behind me.

"Hey, excuse me."

My whole heart slammed into my ribs.

I turned around and her eyes met mine. There was something about the way she looked at me, like she recognized me but didn't want to say it out loud.

Her eyebrows lifted just a little, and her eyes did this tiny shine thing that made my brain go blank.

It felt like she was reading me before even speaking.

Then she said, slowly:

"Do I know you?"