The Last Time I Knelt for You

I'd broken up with Felicia Sullivan six times, and every single time it came down to Amos Fox.

To keep that bankrupt little heir in spending money, she'd slip off behind my back to run illegal street races, trading her life for cash.

Every time I hardened my heart and ended it, she'd drop to her knees in front of me, eyes rimmed red, swearing it was the last time.

And every time I looked at the cuts and bruises covering her, I gave in again.

Today was the day we'd agreed to bring our families together and finally settle on a wedding date.

I sat in the private room under the weight of my relatives' stares, waiting from noon until the windows went dark, and Felicia never came.

At ten that night, the call I got wasn't from her. It was Sienna, from her racing crew.

"Felicia took the mountain circuit, the car flipped, they just wheeled her into the ER, you need to—"

I cut her off.

"For Amos again, right?"

Sienna stumbled over her words.

"Amos had his eye on this limited-edition watch—"

The line was chaos behind her, and underneath it all I could just make out Amos crying, calling Felicia's name.

All at once I was so tired.

This endless tug-of-war with no line she wouldn't cross, this breaking up and getting back together, it was like a slow killing with no end in sight.

I closed my eyes and spoke into the phone, calm.

"I'm not coming."

"Tell her we're done. For good."

...

My mother watched me and let out a heavy sigh.

"Good that it's over."

"Our family can take the embarrassment. Better that than you spending the rest of your life holding your breath, waiting for the next call."

I held back the tears and nodded.

"Mom, you and Dad go on home. Don't worry about me."

"I've got some loose ends to take care of."

After I saw them off, I sat alone in the emptied-out room.

My phone lit up. A video from Amos, ten-odd seconds long.

In it, Felicia lay in a hospital bed, a thick wad of gauze wrapped around her forehead, her face drained white. She looked wrecked, barely holding together.

She forced the corner of her mouth up and reached past the camera to wipe someone's tears.

"What are you crying for?"

"When have I ever broken a promise to get you something?"

The video cut off right there.

A text from Amos came right behind it:

【Felicia's already awake, and she won me the watch, too. Sam, don't be mad at her, and don't worry, okay?】

I didn't answer. I just locked the screen.

Half an hour later I was back at the apartment Felicia and I rented together.

I dragged the suitcase out from under the bed and started packing.

When I pulled open the bottom drawer of the closet, my hand stopped.

A cheap racing trophy was shoved in there. The first one she'd ever won running an illegal race.

Looking at it, I drifted for a second.

I thought back two years.

The first time she'd gone behind my back to race that guardrail-less mountain road, and I found out, I'd fallen apart and asked to break up.

It rained hard that night.

Felicia dragged her battered body to my rented place and planted herself outside the door. Nothing I said would make her leave.

I told her, cold-faced, that I'd never forgive her. She panicked, her eyes went red, and then she just crumpled at my feet, out cold.

Back then I'd shaken all over, terrified, holding her limp body and crying so hard I couldn't catch my breath.

I thought I really was about to lose her.

That fear, of losing the one person I loved most, broke me completely. I surrendered.

And then there was a second time, a third time...

"Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz—"

The buzz of my phone yanked me out of it.

It was Felicia.

"Sam, that scared you, didn't it? I'm fine, just cracked a rib, a few scrapes."

"Sienna makes such a big deal out of everything. The doctor says I can come home once the tests are back."