I was being watched by someone. Part of me would admit it was true, while part of me would say it was a fabrication. But the person I saw was terrifying. It was terrible! I walked in through the opened door and slammed the door shut. I tucked it in my pocket to hide my trembling hands. I walked by force and went to Aunt Rümeysa, who was looking at me from the door.

He was looking at me with his old wrinkled brown eyes. "Elif... what happened, girl?" I was pretty sure she messed up when she said "she." I didn't even know what to say.

"Rümeysa... Aunt... Someone," I could only say while showing my back. My trembling body was stuck in the doorway. He grabbed my arms with his soft hands and pulled me inside. "Elif, what's going on? Don't scare me." I didn't want to worry, but I had to get over my fear first.

He took her to the living room and sat her down. I wrapped my arms around my body as he left me. I've never seen anything good in those eyes. For the first time, when I looked at a person's face, I could make sense of it. And that was very bad. It was very, very bad!

Rümeysa's aunt, who came in with a glass cup in her hand, was also scared because of me. I didn't want to let him experience this, but I didn't even know what to do. I took a small sip of water. The glass hit my teeth as my hands were still shaking. "Elif, what happened to my beautiful girl? Did someone do something?" His question made me even more frightened. What if he does something bad to me?

I wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Aunt Rumeysa is someone... Someone is following me!" I said, trying to force my tongue out by erasing the eyes from my memory a little while ago.

"Who? Let's call the police now." I stood up and stopped him. I didn't even know who he was. What would I say to the cops? I couldn't even see his face clearly. "Wait, Aunt Rumeysa... I don't even know who the man is. I couldn't see his face either." I could only see its glow and feel what that glow was saying.

"Let's get Elif... At least they'll look around," he said, and I quickly shook my head and answered with a swallow. "The people in the neighborhood get annoyed. They name me the bad girl." Like every single girl, I didn't want my name to come out. I was a young girl, and there were a lot of empty people. What did they say even when I was working in the market? If they heard this, they would definitely look at it with a bad eye.

"Girl, why are you thinking about the neighborhood? What if he does something to you?" He started to cough. She had a problem with her lungs and coughed often. I grabbed his arm and sat him down. I reached for the glass he had set on the coffee table and brought it to his lips for a drink. He took two sips of water and handed it back.

"You're taking your Aunt Rumeysa's medicine, right?"

He shook his head and laughed. "I'm getting it; don't worry about me." How would I not? She was the only one left with us. While he is the only one who takes care of us...

"Is Ahmed home?" Then I looked at the clock; it was nine o'clock.

"He went home, and I fed him. He's sleepy."

He's been sleeping all the time lately. She devoted herself to sleep. "Okay, I'll go home too. I'll get up early tomorrow."

"Okay, girl. Be careful; lock your doors tight. And if you see him again tomorrow, we'll definitely go to the police. Okay?" He stroked my hair with his right hand. The bond between us was going towards being a mother-daughter relationship. I used to share all my problems with him. She would be there for me in all my troubles. Actually, I wasn't alone, was I?

"Okay, Aunt Rumeysa. Come on, rest up too." I kissed her cheeks and left the house. I knew you were looking at me sadly behind me. I opened the door with the key I took out of my bag. I checked the apartment and went inside. I was more frightened because we were sitting at the entrance. I locked the door twice and left the key on it. I went straight to my room without turning on the house lights. I got rid of my clothes and put on my pajamas. I untied my hair and left the room. When I arrived in front of Ahmed's room, I listened to the inside. Sometimes I would hear her cry, and I wouldn't go in; I couldn't get in. He kicked her out when I entered at first, and after that I would sit at the door and cry with him before I entered. When I realized that there was no sound from inside, I entered slowly. Even though it was hot, I always covered it. The fear of losing him had taken over me. I pulled my hands out of his hair and went back to my room.

As I lay on the bed, I looked at my curtain, which was drawn. The shadow of the branches of the tree in the backyard swaying in the gentle wind was falling. Turning sideways, I took the window behind me. I can't forget the fear I experienced tonight. It was so bad to see it with my own eyes, even though I felt it until now. I closed my eyes tightly. I was afraid. I was alone and scared like crazy. I wanted to banish the thoughts that came to my mind, but I couldn't. What if it's against me? What if it hurts me?

I closed my eyes with the thoughts I couldn't get out of my mind. My only prayer was to wake up tomorrow morning believing it wasn't real.

I jumped up from my seat when I heard the sound of the door. I can't even remember when I dived. Judging by the brightness of the air, it was already morning. It was the doorbell that woke me up from my sleep... I knew that. I heard it even though I was sleeping. I quickly got out of bed, peeling off the blanket I was wearing with my feet. I took the broken lamp on my desk and slowly opened the door. Ahmed's sleep was not very light. He would not wake up easily. I opened the door and poked my head out to check the hall. The person entering the house must have been a thief. I scanned the hall with the lamp in my hand and began to look behind the curtain drawn by the noise coming from outside. Even if I couldn't see anyone, I could attest to the accuracy of the voice I heard. I was pinned in place by the darkness passing by the window. He was a large man, obviously wearing a hat. The hat detail suppressed my urge to worry. I pushed the thoughts that came into my mind to the background. This would not be so.

I looked around again and pricked my ear to see if anyone was in the house. When there was no sound, I went into his room to look at Ahmed. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw you sleeping on the bed. I checked the door lock. The lock was in place and locked.

I walked into my room and left the door open. I was scared, and I was sure I heard a voice. I suppressed my inner voice that said the person passing through the window was the person I saw yesterday. I sat on my bed, trying not to think. I jumped from the click of the window. It was the same darkness!

I just hid behind the bed. When I looked at the window, something was writing on the glass. I wrapped my arms around my trembling body and closed my eyes. I started to pray inside. I don't know how long I just stood there. Fear took over my whole body.

I started to cry silently like a madman. I lifted my head, resting on my knee, at the sound of my alarm. The sun-drenched room seemed unfamiliar to me. It was the first time I was afraid of this room. I got up and moved a little closer to the window. Our backyard was wooded and a quiet place. It was calming to me. Until this morning… When I pulled the curtain aside, there was a blood-red heart covering the glass. As soon as I saw the heart, I took a step back. This must have been a joke. Someone must be messing with me and playing a bad joke. I closed the curtain well.

I was faced with the worst shock of this morning with the note written on the mirror as I turned my back. This could not be. He couldn't have come this close. The blood-stained writing on the mirror, as I could tell by the sickening smell that came to my nose, indicated that I was finished. I had wrapped myself around someone I didn't know. What did I do when I wrapped it?

"It's too bad you noticed me so early, little one. Remember, I'm just a breath away!"

Remember, I'm as close as a breath!"

"It's too bad you noticed me so early, little one. Remember, I'm just a breath away!"

I opened and closed my eyes an immeasurable number of times to verify the accuracy of what I saw. Each time, the truth was hitting my face more and more with the blood flowing from the mirror, hurting me more. Each time my heart was pounding with more fear, I could hear my heart pounding with my ears.

This fear was indescribable!

This horror was indescribable!

I was done with one word. How would I deal with it? How was I going to deal with a scourge like this when I didn't even know what it was, who it was, or how dangerous it was, when I was alone and couldn't take responsibility for the nine-year-old? Without thinking, I reached out to wipe the mirror. I tried to delete the mirror until the writing was completely gone. Even though it looks worse now, it was better to look like a murder than to see that article.

It was actually murder. It was the blood of my soul. My soul was murdered by a maniac I did not know, with knife blows. He was in my house!

The metallic smell of blood was starting to make my head spin. The smell of blood coming to my nose was enough to make me nauseous. I rushed to the bathroom to wash my trembling hands. When I opened the fountain, the blood on my hand started to flow in the white sink. A stranger's blood was on my hands. Just like my soul got into his hands... There was only one difference. I was innocent; he was not. It wasn't, because he approached me knowing it would tear me apart. He was going to pull me into the dark on purpose! I thoroughly rubbed the soap on my hands. My trembling hands were freezing in the summer heat. I walked out of the bathroom, washing my hands thoroughly.

What I saw was real. Someone broke into my house. That man broke into my house! As I thought about it, I went to the outer door with the words that leaked into my mind. When I turned the lock in fear, the key had turned. This meant that that man also had the key to my house. Not knowing what to do, I threw myself on the sofa in the living room. I put my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. This man I didn't know must have broken into my house countless times. He saw me, Ahmed, while I was sleeping! I wanted to go crazy when I thought of God. What if he did something to us while we were sleeping? What would I do now? I run my trembling hands through my hair and lean back, tugging.

The house I've lived in for years felt spooky. Who knows how many times he had entered? How many times had he set foot in my house where I lived? Who was the worst man? And what did he want from me? If I hadn't looked yesterday, if I had taken care of my stupid eyes! Maybe I wouldn't have brought the trouble on me. What would I do now? WHAT WOULD I DO NOW?

Without thinking, I got up from the chair. First, I had to send Ahmed to school. He had to leave the house so as not to frighten her further. He was lying face down when I opened the door to his room. He was unbuttoned and sleeping like an angel. She was an angel, a pure angel, unaware of anything. An unlucky angel who lost his parents.

"Ahmed...Ahmed Get up, my sister." With the slightest shake of his arm, he opened his eyes. She was looking at me with her honey eyes swollen from sleeping too much. I forced my lips to curl despite my fear. "Get up; you're going to be late for school."

"Okay, I'm going to change and come," was his way of kicking me out of the room. He was young, but he was a mature boy, Ahmed.

“Okay,” I told him and went back to my room, where the smell of blood was dominant. The image in the mirror was goosebumps. Since I forgot the possibility of Ahmed seeing it, I couldn't think of deleting it. It would be foolish to leave my job to chance, even if he didn't get into my room much. Going back to the bathroom, I wet the duster and go back to my room. Even though I thoroughly cleaned all the blood on the mirror, there was an odor. I put the cloth in a bag and threw it in the trash. I couldn't wash it. I could never touch that blood again.

What was I going to do? Who would I trust, and whom would I consult? Most importantly, what would I do without Aunt Rumeysa? I collapsed on the edge of the wall I found and started to cry, covering my face with my arms. Didn't I have a cotton aunt now? Wouldn't he come? Did he leave me alone too? I lifted my head from the pressure I felt on my arm. Nermin was her sister. "Elif, my daughter, Ahmet is afraid. Take her home. She's had enough in these environments, baby," one Which house would I take Ahmet to? My house, which is open to everyone and where anyone can enter as they wish? Was it very safe? Or was it too little pain? I got up from the ground. I went to my tearful brother, who was looking at me at the door, and kissed his hair. He brought me back to four years ago with his tiny hands wrapped around my waist. We were at home when we lost my parents, and we found out by two policemen who came to the house. Ahmet hugged me not because he lost my parents that day, but because he was afraid of the police. He understood from my cry that we lost them. He had grown up now, and some things were easier to understand. I hugged him so he could wrap his feet around my waist. He was crying silently with his head buried in my neck. I swallowed the wetness against my skin. We entered the house with the key that I had forcibly taken out of my bag. I listened to the house for a short time at the entrance of the door. After believing that no one was there, I took my brother's shoes off and took him to his room. He hadn't taken his hands off my neck when I laid him on his bed. On the contrary, he was held tighter. I sat on the bed and took her little body in my lap. "My Ahmet... Don't cry... He went to heaven. With our parents..." Even when I was crying, I couldn't be convincing. How could I convince him when I was crying myself... We sat like this for minutes. Neither he spoke nor I opened my mouth once again. He had run out of words to say. All we had to do was deal with this pain as well. But how would we do it? Could we find the ointment for the third wound for our two wounds that we could not find? With the doorbell ringing, I put Ahmet, who was sleeping in my lap, in his place. I kissed her hair once more and closed the door of the room and left the room. While passing through the hall, I did not neglect to check around. When I looked through the binoculars, I saw that it was Nermin's sister, and I opened it immediately. He was as surprised as me. I asked him to come in by opening the door, and he must have understood that he took off his slippers and went inside. We sat on sofas in the living room facing each other. "Elif, dear... I know it was very sudden, but you have to endure. Aunt Rümeysa was very sick." "I know. He had coughed only last night, and he wasn't looking well. I told him to go to the doctor, but he said he was fine." Why did I listen to him? Why didn't I take better care of her? "My life was in the last stage of her illness. Unfortunately, she couldn't tell you this... She called me last night after you left her. There's a man who takes care of Aunt Rümeysa." "Is it Kemal, brother?" He was the man who did all the work for Aunt Rumeysa. He used to come very often and take care of Aunt Rumeysa. "Yes, Kemal. He called him yesterday without calling me. When we went to the hospital, he had a crisis and intervened until the morning..." "Why didn't you call me? I would have seen him for the last time, at least." Even though he was startled by my sudden shout, I didn't back down. They should have let me see him one last time. "Who would you leave Ahmet to, dear? Otherwise, why shouldn't I call? I was so sure that you would be fine in the morning..." She wiped the tears from her eyes. "But unfortunately we lost him." Yes, we also lost Aunt Rumeysa. Another wing of mine was broken. Another loved one left me... I spent the whole day crying and with Ahmet. They called when they realized that I wasn't coming from work, and I told them that I couldn't come and even took a few days off. Brother İhsan knew Aunt Rümeysa and thanked him; he said that I could take as much time off as I wanted. Nermin's sister would come and check us out from time to time. Rümeysa's aunt, Nermin's sister, and I were alone in the apartment. Nermin's sister was a tailor and lived alone. She had never been married. We did not know the relatives of Rümeysa's aunt, and according to what Nermin's sister said, people who were known to be socialites would come and talk to Kemal's brother. The timing of the burial depended on the grandchild who was abroad. We learned that you will be buried tomorrow with the news that came at night. There was no problem because her grandson found a plane ticket. I had waited until morning. The only breath that comforted me in the silence was the breath of my brother sleeping on my legs. Now it's just the two of us. I could tell that he understood that too, that he was not leaving my side. I opened my eyes to the ringing bell. My tear-filled eyes were closing as if they were opening. I rubbed my eyes and laid Ahmet on the pillow on the side of my lap. When I ran to the door, I first looked through the hole, and then when I opened the door, my eyes were caught by the crowd behind Nermin's sister. More people than I can count, dressed in black, were entering the opposite apartment. The black suits he was wearing were not expensive. "Elif's relatives came to Rümeysa's aunt. I think they won't make the funeral home here." "Why is that? This is his house; how many years has he lived here?" I was angry. Until yesterday, they had not even called the woman once. It bothered me that they came and took care of him as if nothing had happened. "The house is too small for condolences." He lowered his voice and leaned into my ear. “I think Aunt Rumeysa is richer than we thought,” he said. We knew she was rich and didn't go because she loved this house. More precisely, we understood and asked about the antiques in his house. She just said yes and didn't go into too much detail. "Nermin's sister, are we going to talk about money now?" "Not in that sense. The people who will come to the condolences are of a very high level. That's why they won't be able to accept it here." For a moment, it seemed to me that they were talking about a stranger. Rümeysa's aunt was such a sincere and warm woman... She never got into money matters or was spoiled. She had lived simply for years. "Did your grandson come?" She loved her grandchild, she did. And she loved Aunt Rumeysa very much, too. I mean, I hadn't seen it, but they would send him gifts every month and make daily phone calls. I saw it when I was very young. I didn't even remember. Rümeysa's aunt used to go to her once a year. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke of him when she arrived. She always said that she loved her grandson more than her son. I was confused by the absence of his son and bride. But she always implied that they were callous and selfish. Since they did not come to her funeral, Aunt Rümeysa was actually considered an orphan… Towards noon, we arrived at the cemetery where the body was to be buried. I left Ahmet with my friend Azra. This place was not suitable for him, and it would not be good for his broken psyche. Now I was witnessing the burial of the woman who became my second mother. I was sitting under a tree watching how they threw dirt on it. I wouldn't be able to laugh at myself again; I wouldn't be able to experience friends chatting with me despite being old. I waited for the crowd to disperse as the body was buried. As Nermin's sister said, Rümeysa's aunt was a very rich woman. Eighty percent of the people who attended the funeral were people we did not know and were very well-groomed and paid. It was a community where women smelled perfume and men lit their cigars. So why did Aunt Rümeysa ruin her life in this building that smelled of poverty? After the dispersed crowd, I went to the grave covered with earth. When I sat on the ground, I strained my springs for the last time, which had dried up because I had been crying for hours. "Aunt Rumeysa..." I said without letting a sob escape my lips. "You left us too... And you left us alone... Who am I going to lean my head on now? To whom will I tell my troubles? Aunt Rümeysa, isn't it too soon?" I stopped. I kept quiet because I knew I wouldn't get an answer. I kept quiet because I asked even though I knew. I kept silent because I was exposed to the same pain again! I stood up, albeit with difficulty. Talking was useless. I knew this very well. So I opened my hands and prayed. It was my last goodbye to him. I didn't think I would ever find the strength to come back into myself, and I knew that very well. I've only been to my parents' graves twice. I couldn't go any further. I couldn't go. When I turned around, wiping the tears from my eyes, I couldn't move from my place with a pair of blue eyes staring at me. Those eyes looked familiar to me, but I couldn't remember. "Get out!" he said in a stern and rough voice. How was I going to do it when his gaze was killing me? Before I could take a step, he grabbed my arm and pushed me aside. I lost my balance and fell to the ground. This fall caused my knees to graze as only a painful moan escaped my lips. I was hurt, and very much... This time I held back as my cheeks got wet again. Whoever it was, I wouldn't cry in front of him. Clenching my teeth, I restrained myself and looked at Brother Kemal, who was helping me. "I'm sorry, girl. He's in great pain, and he can't see anything now." When I turned my gaze to the man with the glass eyes, who pushed me viciously, I realized that he was the granddaughter of Aunt Rümeysa. Her gaze was the same, Aunt Rumeysa. He too would frown when something he didn't like, and his eyes would turn into the darkest shade of blue. When he looked at me again, I saw how those blues had turned into darkness, and fear came over me. He had stopped frightening me with one look and was strong enough to kill me with fear. I stood up with support from the ground. I cleaned myself and went to Nermin's sister, who was waiting for me, trying to ignore the pain in my knees. He, too, was looking at Aunt Rumeysa's granddaughter with surprise and anger. When I walked up to him, he gave me one last evil look and turned to me. "Are you okay? You're not okay, are you, Elif?" he said hastily. I groaned in pain once more as he bent down and touched my knees and grabbed his hands. "It's okay. Just a minor scratch." It wasn't small. The pain was taking over my whole body. There was glass and stones where I fell. The blood on the knees of my trousers already showed how the wound was. "He's in pain! It's like we don't! Look at the man." "Nermin's sister, she's her granddaughter. Who are we? We're just neighbors. I mean foreigner..." "Daughter, we were in the family with her as a neighbor. You know this well. We were with her when they were away. If our gentleman had come to her in the country instead of rubbing her, he would have stayed with his grandmother!" Nermin's sister was angry; she was right. It was not nice of him to exclude us in this way, and it was wrong. We had become his family. He made up for their lack with us and was happy too. "Well, let's just forget about it," I said, taking one last look behind me without taking his arm. As if she understood what I was looking at, Aunt Rümeysa's granddaughter turned her head towards me. I immediately took my eyes off him and turned to face him. All I see in those eyes is, "It was dark..." And this darkness frightened me, although I did not know why. And much more. So much that it shook my whole body...