©S A F I E

CHAPTER 3

ELLE

It wasn't a usual occurrence that I find myself lying on top of someone else's chest - much more when it was the devil himself, my husband.

Surprised, I hide my face in his chest, overwhelmed by his heavenly scent. I breathe in and sigh, snuggling closer to him. The morning was a pretty shade of gold and pale blue. The sun was about to wake the people up, peeking through the drawn curtains, the breeze lightly entering from the open window. I shivered, snuggling closer to him making me bite down a giggle as his chest hair tickled me. My eyes widen as I realize that he is actually naked beneath me.

Does it mean that something happened last night?

I quickly check beneath the blankets and sigh in relief when he was wearing some boxer shorts, his happy little friend camping inside, my cheeks flushing. I averted my gaze and stared around the room as the sun shed light to our wedding picture. I look so happy that day because even if it was an arranged marriage, I get to be married to the man I have always wanted for a very long time.

We used to attend the same high school in the past. Gabriel is the perfect example of a bad boy; with his cronies and obnoxious ways, he was feared as he was famous. His family status has helped him get what he wants. Even when he always get in fights, he always manages to be one of the honours while I score the top. Girls worshipped him as he passes through the halls, making me hate him more. He hated me too because I am always his competition and he made my life hell by bullying me, playing pranks on me.

It is because of this that I have fallen for him.

When he played a prank on me tenth grade when we had a camp back at school, Gabriel and his cronies tried to trap me in a broom cupboard. Sadly, his cronies are so dumb that they have managed to trap both of us. That was the only time I saw him afraid of tightly enclosed spaces. Instead of getting annoyed at him, I comforted him and tried to soothe him out of his trauma. The night was spent with words that have never been spoken between the two of us as the relentless rain battered the windows, occasional lightning shining from the slips on the door. I have never thought for Gabriel to be a coward; it is my first time to see him tremble like a small child.

We were later found asleep, snuggled close to each other. He was the first to wake up. He roughly pushes me against the side of the cupboard, making me hit my head. Even if he hurt me, I will never forget the way he looks at me, so full of shame and guilt. No matter how much I tried to deny, I have been caught in the trap.

All those years, I have managed to hide it from him, refusing to get in his inner circles and keep to my own as we finished college, not until my father has called me back to New York and arrange for me to marry him. I was aghast for I cannot believe how fate had played me.

Now, as I lay next to him, listening to his quiet breathing, I believe I am lucky enough to his wife for a year. I turn my head so I can stare back at him, too surprised to react. I held my breath as I study his face, his stubble lightly brushing my forehead as I tried to lean closer. He is really here, lying so peacefully. Does he even notice that I am on top of him?

He probably doesn't feel it because he hadn't pushed me off. I can feel my neck getting stiffer by the minute. I push myself up on my elbows and look down at him. My eyes were glued to his face; I am really struggling not to lean down and kiss him. I'm still finding it hard to believe that we slept together on the same bed for the second time and that, nothing happened last night. I slowly lean back to my pillow, letting out a sigh.

Not having the level of self-control I wish I had, I take another peek again and observed him. His hair is tousled, his lips open slightly for him to breathe. He was so peaceful. He looks so young and gentle as he lay beside me, unaware that I am practically salivating over his majestic appearance.

Why did God make him perfect?

This precious moment is enough for me to choke back a tear and smile. Even though he's cold and heartless most of the time, there is still a side of him that's warm. I believe, if he tried hard enough, he is still capable of caring for someone.

The fact that he didn't leave this morning made me consider it a wonderful miracle. It's the first time that I was able to spend one waking moment that he's here beside me, snoring softly as I look at his face.

I swallowed a lump on my throat as my gaze fell back on his lips. I couldn't help it - I trace his brow, and his defined cheek, that strong jaw, and perky nose. I didn't even realize that his eyes were already open as I trace my way up to his forehead again, my fingers freezing on top of his brow. The sight of his opened eyes made me stare at him in surprise. I draw my hand back, my heart hammering inside my ribcage that it is a wonder how he is not hearing it.

I continue staring at him, thoughts running wild inside my head. Now I have to face the consequences of complimenting the features of my own husband...

" I guess you're done playing with my face, Mrs West." The simple address to me made me almost jump out of there and run. What has this man ate last night that made him this, this sweet? And sarcastic.

Yep, sarcastic. The latter is better.

I tilt my head to the side, biting my tongue to avoid my mind from giving off any smart remark. I don't want to ruin his mood, most specifically when he is this playful. I have experience worse mornings in the past because of how talkative I am. Living with Gabe has thought me to be silent, speaking only when acknowledged.

Gabriel just gave me a smirk before leaning at my forehead, kissing me swiftly, making my heart go haywire as I tried not to faint.

Wait, am I still dreaming? Is this even real?

I was surprised when a velvet remark brought me back to my senses followed by a pinch on my cheek, "No, love. You aren't dreaming. And, just like you stated, this is very much real." He gave me another pinch to my already red cheek that I have to duck my head slightly to keep my tomato face hidden from him. I'm blushing so hard that I probably look like a cherry rather than a tomato.

He startled me when he wraps his arms around me and made me sit up, his form towering over me. I feel so small next to him. He stared down at me, giving me a gentle smile, "Those cherry blushes are better than the pale cheeks. I guess I have to pinch your face every waking moment so you'll stay like that every day..." That did it! I was about to pinch his cheek when he suddenly bolted, running off to the bathroom.

This is wrong.

I have never expected a playful Gabe, especially in the morning. I may have seen it a few months ago but I never foresaw for him to return this soon. I guess I would have to thank Frances for that chocolate cake he'd given. I'm sure he'd thrown whatever potion he has from his cupboard and made it into a cake. I guess Frances knows that Gabe loves chocolates and wanted to relieve us of some stress by giving it to Gabe.

I straighten up, fixing my hair with my fingers, contemplating my choices. Should I go inside the bathroom to brush my hair and witness what Gabe was doing?

Great! I'm turning into a pervert now. How can I even think about that?

My mind still can't recover from the happening from the other night. My body was actually wishing for some loving from Gabe again but I won't push it I do not want to spoil this little playful moment between us. If I would have to deal with this playful Gabe longer than usual...then so be it. I would like this version much more than that monster who usually possess my prince.

I raked my hands through my hair and thought about making breakfast. This is one of the best mornings I'd have to save down on my memory. Even though these things won't last forever, I might as well enjoy this magical moment while it lasts. I hastily went out of the room and skipping down the stairs, heading for the kitchen, I prepared the egg, crack them, and stir them in the bowl. I add some milk to it before I switch the stove. I put the pan over the fire as I pour some oil on it. I waited for quite some time, pouring the mixture down and sniff.

It was delicious....and glorious!

Grabbing some of the loaves on top of the fridge, I pulled four pieces and flatten it in the middle. I poured the last of the egg mixture on it before popping them inside of the toaster. Having done with the loaves, I brewed some coffee. While waiting for both to finish, I get back to the egg by mixing them, having a scrambled one instead of the usual omelette.

I grab some bowl and empty the contents of the pan into it. The toaster let out some 'ping' as I grab two plates, setting them on the table with two loaves on each. After placing the food on the table, I snatch two cups and poured the coffee in it, almost slipping into another dimension as I smell it. Now, this is what I call perfect. All I need to do now is fetch-

"Am I missing something?"

Nah. Forget it. I guess I won't need to fetch him after all.

"Nope. You are not. " I look down at my fingers, feeling nervous about what might have come out of this situation for I never wanted to spoil it. "Please, have a seat...I made us some breakfast."

It must be a miracle that he complied without any further complaints from his smart mouth. He grabbed a fork and scoop some of the egg from the bowl before putting it inside his mouth. "Hmmm...I must say that I kinda miss all these." He smiled at me and I have to stop myself from giggling like a teenager.

He is turning me into a Jell-O. He's messing up with my control system and I have to hold tight to the edge of the table, averting my eyes from him. Goodness, I must accept the fact that he would be the death of me.

I sigh, grabbing my own fork to have a taste of my work. I must say that I did great and to add to that, I didn't realize I am feeling very hungry considering that I haven't had dinner last night. Snatching some of the toast, I pulled the cup to my right and sniffed the coffee. I placed it on and my lips and gulped, not realizing that it is the most insane thing for me to do so.

I coughed several times, startled to hear laughter coming from the man I called, my husband. He looks at me again before another string of laughter bubble itself out of his chest - Smooth and deep chuckles vibrating from his lungs. "You probably haven't eaten from the last two decades you’ve lived- ha-ha-ha!" With that, he slaps the top of the table as fat tears flow down his cheek.

I'm quite annoyed that he's back to his usual teasing self but I must say that I'm quite amused at how he reacted. I thought I'm going to hear those snappy remarks on which he'll call me tosser or a nutter. But I guess the playful Gabe is still on the roll.

Grabbing my other toast, I nibbled at it not caring about the numbing feeling inside my mouth. I shouldn't have sipped all that coffee like it was some freaking fruit shake. I wasn't thinking at all. I guess this man who was laughing at me is the reason behind my unattentive behaviour. I am floating with happiness when he's near me.

The birds twittered from the window and I look at them, a smile gracing my lips. It was such a beautiful morning, a cloudless sky with a slight breeze filtering in the kitchen, the morning sun reflected by the open patio just outside, giving me a magnificent view of the forest. I am glad that Gabriel has chosen this location for a house; with the lake nearby, and the forest just behind it assures us a peaceful abode that is free of any pollution coming from the city.

I watch as Gabriel sip his coffee, his eyes trained on me, making me blush. I turn my gaze back to my plate and bite my lip. I guess I'd have to prepare breakfast often so he'll stay during the mornings. But the very reason on why he was still here, made me quite curious.

"Gabe?"

I almost slap myself right there and then when his head turns unto me. His laughter gone as his face contorted in a slight frown, "Hmm?"

I am almost afraid to continue but my instincts told me that I have to face this head-on, one way or another. "Gabe, why are you still here? Aren't you going to work?"

That came out pretty good, right? Or not. Base on the frown on his face, my answer should be the latter but, I’ll wait for his reply before judging him. "Why? Should I take my leave now?"

"No," I shake my head at him and look down on the half-eaten toast on my plate. "Of course, not!" I sigh. "I'm quite curious about the main reason why you are still here.” I wrung my fingers together and said, “Are you going to stay for the day?" I bow my head after saying that, finding the toast a little bit interesting as I tried to avoid his gaze, tracing it with my pointer finger. I am afraid to make some eye contact with him because I am dying of embarrassment right now.

It takes a couple of minutes before I heard the foot of the chair scrape the floor as he stands. I thought that he'll leave right without any further explanation but what he did next almost gave me a heart attack. He leans down at me and smiled, "I would like to make it up to you if you will allow me. I would like to share the best of me with you, while we have this year left of our marriage."

My heartbeat picks up. he is going to open the conversation that we haven't finished last night. I am doomed. I know his tactics; this is probably one of his schemes to make me believe of something so precious such as this. I straighten up my seat and brace myself to stand when he held me down, “Elle, I know it's wrong for me to speak about our divorce right after our anniversary celebration like I can't wait to get rid of you. It kept me awake last night thinking of what I did. It's very unlikely for me to act this way, affectionate and asking for apologies but believe me, I do feel guilty of what I did. I must have hurt you." He sighs, wrapping his arms around me. "That is why I came up with this decision that I am going to spend the whole day with you. I want to make it up to you by sacrificing twenty-four hours away from my pile of work in exchange for a chance."

He leans closer and kisses me, pecking my lips afterwards as he speaks, "I would like to see how we're going to continue and if it will even be worth it to give this a shot. I don't want to end all this without taking any risk." He leans down once again and kissed me, making me taste the eggs tinged with coffee and him, on my mouth.

I am surprised when he pulls me up on the chair and carry me on the counter. He's kissing me with so much passion that I have to keep hold of his hair for me to stay conscious and awake, the emotions bursting forth from my chest felt like it is suffocating me that I am gasping for breath.

This must be a dream! A very hell-bent dream that I'm enjoying right now, though I am not sure that I am creative enough to dream about something as fascinating like this.

The kiss was heavenly and romantic but humans need air. I have to curse both of us because we're not supernatural.

The magical moment ended with a peck on my lips; Gabriel gave me another kiss on the forehead before he lowers me down on the counter, "That's one hell of a kiss I haven't had for a while..." He blurted, a slight blush colouring his cheek.

I guess I have to say the same...and I'm hoping for more.

계속

©S A F I E

CHAPTER 4

ELLE

*Flashback *

"Gabriel," I whispered, a bit nervous about what his reaction might be. He opened his eyes and I can't help but smile as he wrinkles his nose, scratching his head. He blinks his eyes up at me, a question apparent on them.

"Happy birthday." I smiled and push the birthday cake in front of him.

"Elle-" his eyebrows scrunched up as his eyes searched my face. "Why are you--?"

"I want to surprise you. You are my husband and I am ought to care for you. I want to make you happy. Rise from your bed and have a bite of this, I promise you won't regret it." I push a spoon on his hand and gave him a sheepish smile. He sat there, frozen on top of the bed, a spoon on his hand. I am almost tempted to take a picture of him for he looks a lot like a model but halted as I see his brows slowly meeting in the middle and he glared down at the cake, saying. "Is this the scene where the wife finally decided to kill her husband?"

His words made me smile and say a little 'no' because inside, I am burning so bright of irritation for this man. I mean, can't he just say ‘thank you’ to me? He's pushing my patience and making me wish that I did put some poison on the cake. I should try and do that next time.

I am so distracted with my own thoughts that I am surprised to hear him moan, "God. I haven't tasted a chocolate cake this good in my entire life" His eyes captured mine before he pulled me in and stuff some cake on my mouth, catching me off guard. The sweet malty taste made my tastebuds explode and I have little to no control of the moan I let out.

"Now we die together," Gabriel smiled at me with his teeth covered with the triple chocolate cake I baked. He looks so adorable and young, I wish he is always as playful as this. Bowing my head, I enjoyed the taste of chocolate inside my mouth, watching Gabriel as he finishes the whole cake, his cheeks tinted with the chocolate ganache.

Oh well, Mr West, you might not mean it but I am dying to make you love me back.

*flashback ends*

I am dazed as the memory faded in the back of my head. Staring at his glorious face, I snap myself back to the present and to the book I am reading. We sat by the parlour, him staring out to the forest while I am sat by the window, staring aimlessly at the pages laid on my lap. The morning sun is now high up in the sky, announcing mid-afternoon; the breeze has ceased, replaced by the ever prickly warm haze. I huff, shifting my feet so that I am leaning by the window pane.

"Elle, what would you like to do for the rest of the day rather than spending it with your book?" I stared at him for a while as he leaned across the open doors, his head tilted to the view of the forest, as though he isn't really talking to me. I raised an eyebrow at him and he turns, making me flustered once again "What? I thought you wanted to spend a day with me? I am giving you the chance." The smile that he gave me tug at my heartstrings that I almost choke on my next words.

Glancing down at the book on my lap, I said in a shaky voice, "How does the beach sound for you?"

"The beach?" He turned his full attention at me, his eyebrows raised. He moves closer to the window where I am sitting at, his stance inquisitive as he crosses his arms over his chest, flexing those biceps that made me want to drool. I cleared my throat and held his gaze instead, avoiding the temptation, bracing myself for the question that will surely come out of his smart mouth. "Why would you like to go to the beach?"

"For the same reason as other people have! It's in the middle of the summer now and I haven't even heard the crash of water on the shore. I want to bury myself in the sand, bathe in the sun and smell the humid air...I want to--"

"Okay. Okay." He rolled his eyes and snorted, " You sound like a dying patient." He struts out of the door, leaving me speechless. I am tempted to throw the book at him but I wouldn't. This book is too precious for me; I wouldn't ruin it for a man such as him, he's not worth my first edition book. I should've snatched a pillow from the sofa.

Standing up from the window, I headed up the stairs and to my bedroom. I entered the closet, rummaging for something I can wear for the beach. I pulled a sundress and a piece of swimsuit, and marched inside the en-suite bathroom, removing my clothes. I am halfway through pulling the dress down on my chest area when Gabriel entered the bathroom. He stands there, like a deer caught in headlights, drowning in his own drool.

"Like what you see?" I am surprised when the words escaped my mouth. I barely had the time to cover my face in embarrassment when I heard his chuckle, giving me the sudden urge to hurl my slippers at his head as I hear his remark.

"Pssh, you barely had a C, love, which is why I am not that impress. 2You have the body of a teenage girl, so skinny!" He laughs again, strutting out of the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

That git! He doesn't know what he's talking about because he isn't a woman. Puffing my chest, I am surprised when I heard his voice from the other side of the room, "Hey, what's taking you so long? Have you been already swimming in the toilet?!"

"Git!" I hissed, pushing open the door and ending up face to face with the devil himself. "All that is coming out of your mouth is crap, Gabriel! If I could only--"

I momentarily stopped my blubber as I watch him change into a pair of board shorts. "Like what you see?" He quoted back to me and I can't help but blush at that as I tried to go back inside the bathroom "Love, you already see all of this and yet you still act so shy." His gaze was so intense that I was caught in a trance.

My mind flashes back to his strong torso and his biceps as he grabs me, pulling me closer. I can almost feel his hands brushing the sides of my face, sliding down so that they settle on the nape of my neck. Still, his hands slide further down until he is holding my breast. His whispers tickle my ears as I succumb to the feeling of haven he has provided while I writhe in his arms, a prey to his love.

It was all too much and his intense gaze at me is making my breath hitch. I felt my cheeks growing hotter by the second. I cleared my throat, "Nope. You are wrong. I can't see clearly in the dark. Plus, there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing. I am your wife." I stated as a matter of fact. The blush is still adorning my cheeks and spreading to my neck, making me scratch my ear and hold his amused gaze.

"Everything is right with what you are doing, love." He pulled my hand and I cannot help but smirk at him.

•

ONE DAY. It's only for today and I can't believe he has given me a day to spend with him.

"Now, are you happy?" His face was almost funny but the seriousness in his voice made me stop.

We just arrived at the beach. I take the basket and followed Gabriel as he strode off - such weird sight that is expected from the couple like us, a billion worth couple strutting in plain sight, hoping not to be recognized. I know that there is a lot of risk because of what I had suggested but this is the only place I want to visit now. I wore my glasses and look around the vicinity, expecting the paparazzi tailing us from behind the stalls, ruining Gabriel's mood. I look up to see him still frowning down in the sand, "Gabe, what's wrong?"

He sighs, scratching his forehead, "Nothing."

"Tell me, Gabriel." I urge for him but he just looks down at me. He sighs. I lay the baskets and blankets down on the sand and hear him, mutter, “Later."

"Fine." I stuck my tongue out and walked faster than him, leaving him with all the baskets and blanket. "Elle, help me with this!" His words were drowned as I rush unto the waves and shrieked.

God, I never felt this happy before ever since I have married the devil.

Looking back at the shore, I spotted him, frowning at me. He has already spread the blanket under him and is now eating a sandwich, "Gabe, swim with me!" He shakes his head making his sunglasses fall from his head and to the bridge of his nose, looking ridiculously hot. The sight of him reminds me of those French guys I have come to be acquainted with over the years I have spent in Paris - his curly brown hair and sharp jaw is definitely a kill. He waved his hand as he holds the sandwich, sticking his tongue out.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Gabriel!"

I got out of the water and headed for the shore trying to pull him up from his seat but it was no use; he was far stronger and heavier than me. "Gabe, please?" I pulled his shirt and mocked a cry but he only frowned at me and resumes his date with the sandwich. I gritted my .teeth, annoyed that he is being a bum. "Alright, then. If this is your idea of spending the 24 hours you sacrifice for me - letting me enjoy myself while you stay here, dating with a sandwich, and not even bothering to enjoy the beach with me - fine! I hope you are happy." I turn around and scowled at the crowd who was watching us deliberately, not even pretending that they are not aware.

I headed back to the sea, feeling down because of what I said to Gabriel. I know it is wrong for me to be that bossy but I am only stating my feelings. It is unfair because he has promised to spend a day with me, to make it up to me. I am about to dip my toes in the water when someone rushes over and pushed me.

"Oomph!" I gurgled, my throat constricting as I unexpectedly swallowed the seawater. With my burning eyes, I struggled to free myself but it felt like someone is holding me down. I was about to scream for Gabriel to help me when I am pulled out of the water and heard the devil himself, laughing at me.

"What's funny?" I look around, trying to spot him as I blink my eyes, trying to get rid of the water. I crane my neck and bump my head with someone, "Ouch!" I push my damp hair away from my face and impatiently wipe the water off my eyes, seeing him there, his eyebrows furrowed as he massages the side of his head. "Gabriel? I thought you don't want to--"

"I was kidding back there when I told you that I am not interested in playing here in the water. I wouldn't miss a chance like this," He adjusted his shades and look at me, "Though your face looks funny once you realized that you are almost dying." His laugh sounds so irritating to me that I can't help but divert my gaze, my nose flaring as I let him finish his sentence, "So you are the one who pushed me? God, Gabriel! I almost drown." I shake my head at him and tucked a stray hair on my ear, a question at the tip of my tongue. "You thought it was funny to see me panicking and trying to call you for help?"

Gabriel stopped laughing and turned his attention at me, his face turning serious, "Elle that's --"

"No. I thought I was dying back there," I bit my lip, finally losing it. How can he joke about that? It's not cool at all. "And you just did it all for fun? What a sick idea you have for joking." My eyes burned of the emotions I am feeling. I bit back a sob, as I push the glasses up my nose and planned to march back to the shore, not wanting the curious attention I am getting from the crowd. I better escape from here while the paparazzi haven't figured out we are here. I breathe out, hugging myself tight. I can feel him drawing near and in an instant, his arms were around me, making me feel much horrible than before. "Gabriel," I remove his hands and frown at him, "Gabriel, let me take a break for a while. " I pushed him off me and walk back to the shore.

•

It was almost midday when I decided to leave the shade and find something delicious to eat for I wanted to cheer myself up, my thoughts in a jumble as I walk, dazed. Gabriel was nowhere to find and I decided not to drag him on my food trip. I'm mighty fine without his obnoxious behaviour. I do not need him teasing me every step of the way for he has a sick idea about what is fun and what is hurtful.

I am threading through the crowd of tourist when I found a hotdog stand. I ordered two jumbos and a fruit shake to go with it. Pulling my wallet from my handbag, I paid for the food and started to walk away. It was quiet at first then I heard them mumbling around me, before they erupted, the whole crowd laughing. I curiously stared at them and realize that it was me whom they are laughing about. I followed their gaze and was surprised that my dress was now split in a half, showing my cleavage and a bit of my breast. Blushing, I tried to cover myself with the drinks and two hotdog jumbo's on my hands but it was a futile attempt. I tried to hurry back to the shade Gabriel made for me back at the shore, my head bowed while I tried so hard to cover myself.

"Look at her body! God, she looks like she wanted to have sex with me, mate!"

"That was quite embarrassing."

"I wouldn't dare to walk around like that."

"Can you even imagine how small her tits are?"

"Sheesh, she must be so desperate to find a husband to walk around like that!"

"I would be displeased if she was my daughter. What a whore!"

I am feeling so down, my confidence hitting the bottom as I tried to quicken my pace. I was about to turn when I felt his presence. Gabriel's arms provided warmth all over my body as he shielded me from the curious crowd. Muttering something on my ear that I cannot comprehend, he carried me back to the car and closed the doors while I sob in my hands, the two hotdog jumbo's now stained with my tears as I cry.

"I'm so sorry, Gabriel. I have ruined this day." I muttered in my hands, tears trickling in my cheeks as I tried to suppress a sob, "It is so embarrassing. They've seen me naked! Oh, what will they tell about me?" Gabriel takes the hotdog from me and settled them at the back seat along with the drinks. "The media will laugh at me if they saw that. This is bad, really bad." Staring back at me, he huffed. He turns the engine on, putting the car in reverse as he speeds away from the beach.

It was silence before the storm and I could feel it - his heated glare on me when he is looking at me, his fist tightening around the steering wheel and his occasional huff. I know that he's angry at me. He is ashamed of me.

The tears slowly trickle down my cheeks, and I didn't even bother to wipe it off because of how I felt so hurt of his treatment at me. It hurts so much that even if I am the victim here, he is making it appear like I am at fault of everything that has happened. I didn't know that my clothes have split, showing my breast to the crowd who laughed at me. I have reduced myself to silently crying, staring out of the window. A couple of minutes have passed before all that I could hear is my sniffles as he slowly pulled over on the side of the road, cutting the engine.

"Shhhh," he pulled my chin up and kissed my forehead. “You did not ruin this day, I did. If I chose not to play a prank on you, you won't be angry and walk off alone. It was my fault. I should've been there with you. I was too confident on myself that you could handle yourself but I didn't realize that you are a woman. I am not saying it in a bad way - I just fail to realize the fact that you could be fragile even though sometimes you act like you are not." He wiped the tears on the sides of my face with his hands, smiling at me.

"I won't allow this day to end like this, Elle." he pulls my chin up as he made me look at him, "Tell me, how does ice cream, pizza and Wall-e sound for you?"

“Wall-e?”

©S A F I E

CHAPTER 5

ELLE

I open one of my eyes, the dizziness overwhelming me that I have to slowly rise from the bed and stagger towards the bathroom, the room spinning around me. It was the break of the dawn; too early for me to wake during a weekend.

I rested my hands on the walls as I struggled against it, trying to reach the toilet bowl before I barfed up. Not being able to withstand, I collapse on the floor and have managed to hold the toilet bowl tighter before my face hovers on it, inches away from the water as I empty my insides. I hug it closer to my chest, heaving at it without having anything to let go.

I've been like this for the past week and was getting weaker by the days passing. Gabe never had the chance to notice this because he's been away for Italy for almost a month now. I do not know the exact date of his return. Maybe next week or tomorrow morning? Tonight?

It was pointless to bug him about it because he wanted to surprise me. I rolled my eyes at that, pushing myself away from the bowl and leaning my back against the tub.

What am I going to tell him once he arrives and see me like this- like a zombie that has just resurrected?

I believe that he will be enraged by my appearance once he comes back. I have lost weight because I couldn't keep my food in. I wanted to go and have myself checked in the hospital though I felt lazy, sometimes I refused to leave the room and stay in bed, cuddled up in sheets and reading to myself.

What should I tell Gabriel once he goes back? That I've got the worst stomach flu of the history - a bug or something I've got because of eating too much ice cream? Or wait...

I momentarily stopped, my thoughts and ideas dissolving as I crawl my way back inside our room. I rummaged the bedside table and open the lock on my phone as I see the red sign blinking in my notification - quite confirm the assumptions I am having. I think I know why I am having this sickness for it's not considered as to how it appeared to be.

I should've got my period last month, and I have never been late in my whole life. This is it, what I have always wanted with Gabriel. I believe that my answers are finally answered. I finally have a chance. With desperation in my eyes, I hoist myself up, struggling to keep my balance as I stare at the girl reflected in the window.

"I'm going to take the test."

•

I smiled at the three pink positive signs staring at me.

I'm pregnant!

I danced around the bathroom and giggled some more. Who knows that I will be a mom after a few months? Have a little Elle or maybe little Gabe running around here while I busied myself looking after her or him, or them? I smiled, a wild look in my face that does not deem well with how thin I've become for the past few weeks.

Only 7 out of 10 women who have this result is as happy as me. One of them is underage, or have three kids already and doesn't want an additional problem or the other, which is a single woman who has a one night stand.

Like I care. I'm going to have what I wanted for so long. It's right in front of me now. Literally.

Out of habit, I begin to bite my nails as I think of the consequences of this. I'm a little bit nervous about what is going to happen to me and the baby when the contract is done but I forced myself to just shut it out and relax. I don't want stress clawing at my very face and make the baby feel worst. I can handle this.

I put the three pregnancy test in my bag and smiled. This will be the second happiest day of my life. The first one is when I married the love of my life -which, I'm not sure if he will be happy with this news but I want the baby. Yet, if he doesn't accept my baby and chose to react negatively towards my news, then I will protect my baby from him even if it is the last thing I will do.

I won't let him do anything to this little bean.

If I need not tell him until I'm showing, then fine. I'll do everything in my power to keep my baby safe. Even if it requires me to leave the love of my life just so this little bean would live happily, I will choose that rather than ending the life that has not even started in this world.

The thought of having a life inside of me is clearly a joyful moment. Especially that it's from Gabriel and me. I really need to be careful about everything that I do, and I won't have any coffee anytime soon. No stress and more rest, and lastly, I really want to have some pistachios, salted caramel kisses and vanilla Ice cream right now.

Making my decision, I snatch my purse and decided to meet up with someone I haven't seen for a long time.

•

"What? You're pregnant? I'm gonna be an aunt!" The female version of my husband screamed, slapping my face playfully before she hugs me back. It was almost painful for me to stare at Neola the same way as she does to me. It's hard for me to see the same reflection of my husband on her face and smile.

I just miss him too much.

It has been a month since I saw him and she just looks a lot like him. I wonder - will our child possess the same blue eyes as them or inherit my vivid green eyes that I am so in love with. Neola's curly hair is slightly bushy than that of Gabriel's - a trait of their Italian descent in their mother side, the Mancini's, which he rarely even talks about considering that Gabriel's mother has died when they are still kids.

I was suddenly distracted out of my thoughts when Neola piped in, "But you clearly know that my brother will be shocked to know this...it is unexpected." She smirks at me, her eyes filled with amusement, "What did you do to make my dear old brother succumb to your temptation, mistress?" she pointed an accusing finger at me and giggled.

I slap her finger and pouted, "Neola! I know that all he's going to say to me is N.O. and I won't have any say on it but it is done. The baby is here and he has to deal with it one way or another. This is a blessing; this little bean is very dear to me and I won't let Gabriel do anything to harm my baby!" My chest tightens and I sobbed, bursting into tears as I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, muffling my cries.

Damn, hormones.

Neola gave me a look and wipe my tears with the Kleenex on her hand, "Shh, slow down. No stress for the little bean, right?" I glared at her as I shoved another spoonful inside my mouth, "Yet you are the one who is stressing me, Neola." She bites her lip and I smiled at that. Shoving another spoonful in my mouth, I moan at the sweet-smelling salted caramel kisses melting on my tongue.

"What are you going to do when he finds out about this?" She asked after I finish my ice cream.

I looked at her and smiled, "Nothing, I'll let it be. I won't do anything. I'm pretty sure that once he sees the photos of this little bean, he will accept it all. Gabriel is not that heartless." Neola gave me a confused look, frowning at the tub of ice cream in front of her.

"But you know my brother, Elle. He always gets what he wanted - all of his demands are always followed. He has plans for both of you. He doesn't, never in a million years, would want a kid, right? He has made it clear. You know he has--"

"I know that but, his reasons are lame! I just don't understand him..." I shoved another spoonful and watch her shoved her own share of the ice cream on her mouth.

"I don't even understand why he doesn't want a kid also. He's like twenty-nine already and the company is doing well. You and Gabriel are perfect, having a lovely house and lots of money, you can afford a dozen of children if you want to. " Neola shoves a spoonful of her own ice cream inside her mouth before scowling at me, "Yet against all this, how come he let you have your way? My brother's not that idiot when it comes to things like this, especially things he doesn't like." She gave me a curious look before turning her attention to her milkshake which still looks like untouched.

Because he's drunk and out of his mind, Neo, and that I partly lied to him. No. I won't tell her that.

I bite my lip and scratch my neck - a sign that I am nervous about lying at Neola. "Becawithe he arrived late that night and then-" Neola's eyes widen as she shakes her hands in front of her, exclaiming, "No need for those details! God, I don't want to know about your sexual this and that, woman. I'm clearly satisfied with the 'no sex before marriage thingy'. You know, I might be tempted." She winked at me, her fingers still covering her ears. I laughed at this silly twenty-two-year-old gal, shaking my head at how ridiculous she appears. "I just want to know how you persuade him to do it."

"Alright. It just....happened." I smiled at her as she grinned at me.

"That's it?"

I nodded and said. "You don't want to hear the details, right?"

She hastily pointed the spoon at me before deciding to shove it back into one of the tubs, "Never mind. Let's eat this pistachio ice cream now that we finished the salted caramel one. Oh, I remember! I ordered you some strawberry milkshakes. I heard that most pregnant women visiting this cafe ask for this special milkshake." She called for the waiter and I watch in horror as she laid the glass in front of us. Neo thank him and push the glass to me, "Your favourite, right?" She cheered but I just frowned back at the milkshake, "Are you okay, Elle?"

"I don't like strawberry at this moment...especially one on my milkshake," I stood up from my seat and headed in the bathroom to throw up.

•

I look down on my watch and waited some more.

He said he's gonna meet me up for dinner. He informed me that he will arrive late this evening instead of going back tomorrow morning. He said it'll take him only an hour before he arrives but why is it that he's not here yet?

It's almost midnight!

And the fact that I prepared his favourite dish even if it is hard to do makes me irritated at him. Pissed even. It made me so infuriated at him that I have this sudden urge to hurl the pan unto him as soon as he arrives. I tap my foot impatiently and glared at the time that is reflected at the grandfather clock.

I've gone almost everywhere today. From the café, then to the doctor before going to the store to buy the necessary ingredients I needed. I'm very thankful that Neola is there to be my company and driver since Taylor was with Gabriel, doing god-knows-what. She accompanied me to the hospital to have my very first check-up seeing as Gabriel wasn't with me

Doctor Eric told me that I'm 5 weeks pregnant. I'm a bit hesitant at first when he examined me because of the main reason that he's a guy. Though he assured me that he was actually gay. I almost laugh at how ridiculous I act, gawking when he asked me to strip and open up as he uses the wand to probe at 'my area'. I'm very thankful that he's my doctor and that he is gay because I will be damned if Gabriel finds out that my OB was a guy.

I also meet Victo-I mean Doctor Cherry, his assistant/ substitute doctor for his patients in case he wasn't there. She looks awfully familiar to me that I am feeling a bit dodgy at her, remembering that Victoria Lint who made my life hell before and after I have married Gabriel.

She has the same facial features as that of Victoria, Gabe's ex-girlfriend except that Cherry is blonde while Victoria was brunette. The features end with that because they have no traits in common like Cherry's attitude is kind, nice and loving; nothing like those of that scandalous bitch, whom I fought with before I and Gabriel got married. She's so scanty and ridiculous that even though it has been a year I can't forget about her freak face and her foul mouth which I long to wash with soap.

Victoria's face still irks me making me want to find her and pull her head off, screaming bloody murder. Why does Cherry have to look like someone I hated for the rest of eternity? I'm pretty sure that God can choose from a lot of combinations so why do they have to look a lot like each other? And the fact that Cherry is so nice to me that she already win my heart makes it more infuriating. She even assured me that I am her favourite patient and that she will take care of me and my baby.

After giving me my prenatal vitamins, Eric asked me to come back next month to check on this little bean. He also gave me his number, telling me that I'm free to consult him anytime, or asked him about the different stages of pregnancy. He also told me that throwing up or morning sickness is just normal, along with the sudden cravings that are so bizarre, not fathomable by anyone but the baby inside.

After my check-up, Neola and I went to the nearest grocery store to buy the ingredients for the Chicken Alfredo which is Gabriel's favourite. I am looking forward to this dinner because I haven't seen him for weeks and I wanted to tell him about the baby, explaining to him that he will be the best father because I will be next to him, figuring parenthood together.

Even if I feel like I'm gonna sleep for the rest of my life as soon as I hit the sack yet, I still waited. I'm so beat which explains why I am so eager to sleep. It's past eleven in the evening now and there's not even a sign on when he's going to arrive. No message or call to tell me that he'd cancel his flight back to New York because he still had some unfinished business meeting or anything. He just made me wait. He made me think that he will be here with me tonight, celebrating his arrival and also the present inside me.

Darn it! I really miss him.

I can't help the tears as they fall down on my cheek. Can't he see that I long for his presence? Don't he miss me too? He's focused on making our relationship work from the moment he stayed with me all day after our anniversary. He's shown me that he wanted me, that he can still be human, that I can be loved by him but, as he leaves for Italy, I know it will change again.

I stopped pacing around the kitchen, settling myself back on the seat and staring at the dish I have prepared. A lot of thoughts clouding my mind again as I felt my eyes being clouded by the tears, and they fell against my cheek, hot and swift. I cried my heart out and plead for him to come home to me because I felt like everything was a repeat of that tragic night and once he came back here from Italy, we are broken again and I will be left picking up my personal pieces. I can't help but sob harder as I lay my head down on the table, wallowing.

I'm tired and hungry. I think I cannot wait some more for the smell of Chicken Alfredo is making me drool like I haven't eaten from the past twenty-five years of my existence. I have to take a bite out of it at least

After finishing a plate full of pasta, I keep the leftovers in the fridge so if he ever arrives later at dawn and is hungry, he can feed his foul mouth. I silently wash my plate since we've got no household help for I like to do things on my own. As I wipe the plate, I thought about the possibility of him having an affair.

Maybe, that is possible.

He's always been known to have so many mistresses, models here and there. It is only when his father have arranged a marriage for the two of us when he settled down. I always have doubts but he always tried to push it off my mind and gave me a satisfying relationship. Satisfying to the extent of him putting a distance between us and shutting himself in his office while letting me do what I want to do.

He told me that he will change but it seems like it's all a lie. And now, with the business running in his hand again, he's having nights out where he stayed up late, never giving me the chance to spend time with him. Even on weekends he always has something to do a sorry excuse for him to not go home.

I wish I didn't hold unto his empty promises.

I stripped off my clothes and headed inside the bathroom. I remember that night - the night when he came home after the party, drunk out of his mind. I lured him in and let him kiss me. I let him drive me crazy with lust for the desperation in my heart is winning and unexpectedly he reacted to it the same way as I did. He completely blew my head off and took my heart with him.

I have always wanted a kid right from the moment we married for the baby is the only thing that will make me happy when he's away - a substitute for his very presence. This little snot will look just like him and I'm very sure of that considering that I am missing the devil more and more.

I caress my tummy and smiled, "Hello there, little Bean. I'm your mommy. I love you, always remember that..." I gaze at my reflection in the mirror and smiled.

Who knows I can be pregnant without him knowing it?

Well, not for long at least.

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