"What kind of dancing is that, Lyana? You look like a lamp post, for heaven's sake!"

My temper flared the moment Jasrylle said that. Instead of looking at the mirror, I turned sharply to her. "I told you I have no idea how to do this kind of thing, didn't I? You said I could handle it-"

"I said just sway your hips a little! But with what you're doing, you look like a pig being butchered. My God, you're stressing me out," she complained, fanning herself dramatically. "Girl, seriously. You're not a dancer... you're a human lamppost! Or are you made of bamboo, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and massaged my temples in frustration. We'd been practicing all afternoon because she said she'd take me to the bar where she worked tonight to introduce me to her boss. According to her, "Mamita" always asked applicants to give a sample performance before hiring anyone, and since dancing was what I was applying for, I had no choice but to learn.

"What now? I told you, I don't know how to dance. You can see it yourself, right? I wasn't kidding when I said I have no clue about this kind of thing."

Jasrylle sighed loudly and sat down on my bed with a thud. She groaned when she realized how hard it was, then shot me an annoyed look.

"How was I supposed to know you were this stiff? I thought I could at least teach you the basics! But at this rate, no one will be charmed, they'll just laugh because a dancing post showed up in front of them," she said, making me frown even more.

I rubbed my temples again, trying to calm down. "Can't you really find me a different kind of job? You know how badly I need it, Jasrylle. Thirdy's medicine is running out, and I'll be picking him up from Auntie's house the day after tomorrow. That means more expenses again. I can skip meals, but I can't let Thirdy go hungry when he comes home."

"Then maybe just leave him with your aunt-"

"Jasrylle." My voice came out sharper than intended, and I gave her a glare. She immediately shut her mouth and raised her hands in a peace sign. I shook my head. "It's already a huge help that Auntie takes care of Thirdy sometimes, even bringing him along to sell at the market. I know it's hard for her to juggle work and keep an eye on him, so I don't want to take advantage of her kindness."

She crossed her arms and raised a brow. "Then what's your plan now, huh? Your salary as a waitress barely covers your rent. The dishwashing job pays for your daily needs. And your tutoring gig at Mrs. Cruz's house? That goes straight to the water and electric bills. That's everything. It might work if you were alone, but with Thirdy..."

"That's why I need to work harder," I said firmly, letting out a long sigh. "That's why I'm asking for your help. If you're earning seven thousand pesos a day, that amount could really help me and my brother. It would be more than enough for both of us, and for his medicine."

"You know, it's you I'm really worried about. You'll probably die before Thirdy does if you keep pushing yourself like this. Be honest, do you even sleep? How many hours?"

I didn't answer. Because honestly, I didn't know. I lost count of how many nights I'd gone without sleep. But if I stopped working, who else would feed me and my brother?

We lost our parents early. After finishing high school, I couldn't afford college, so I started working right away. I had no one else to depend on but myself, and I had to take care of Thirdy. He has a mental condition; his mind is still that of a child. I could never just leave him. Everything I do is for him.

When I met Gab, I thought he'd be the one to pull us out of poverty. Maybe that's one of the reasons I fell for him, because he was rich. Hypocritical, I know. But can you blame me for clinging to hope? It's not my fault I was born poor, or that I have to work day and night just to survive.

I really believed he was my chance at a better life. But instead, I sank even deeper into debt. I worked through my pregnancy because Gab refused to support me. I needed money for daily expenses and Thirdy's medicine. By the time I gave birth, I had nothing left, and a mountain of debt.

Life's a damn joke sometimes.

"At least we have food," I muttered, avoiding Jasrylle's eyes.

She sighed, stood up again, and faced the mirror. "Alright, let's go. Move those hips! It's already late, so don't be picky. If you don't pass the test later, there's nothing we can do," she said, swaying her hips to the music.

I exhaled heavily and copied her moves. We couldn't have been more different, she danced with ease, while I moved awkwardly like a stiff robot. But whatever. What mattered was getting the job, earning money, and buying Thirdy's medicine. For him-and for me-I had to do this.

**

"Are you here to dance in my bar, or to do stand-up comedy?"

I froze mid-step when I heard the woman known as "Mamita" speak. Her brows were furrowed, her disapproval obvious. I immediately straightened up.

"Mamita, please give her a chance," Jasrylle pleaded. "She just learned to dance today, but she's improving! I swear, I'll train her every day until she gets better." She looped her arm around Mamita's and gave her a wide smile.

Mamita gave her a cold look before turning back to me. Her eyes swept from my head down to my toes, and I quickly pulled down the hem of the shorts Jasrylle lent me, they were far too short for comfort.

"There are plenty of applicants out there-better dancers, prettier too. Think, Jasrylle. You can't fool me with flattery; the answer's no," she said sharply before fixing her gaze on me again. "Try applying somewhere else... though I doubt anyone would hire you dancing like that. Such a waste, you're pretty. Wouldn't you rather-"

"Mamita!" Jasrylle quickly interrupted before she could finish. "My friend's not into that kind of work. She just wants to dance, that's all."

Her boss snorted and crossed her arms. "Dignity won't feed your family, hija," she said before walking away.

Jasrylle followed after her, probably to plead her case again, leaving me alone in the small office. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes tightly as I tried to calm my nerves. It was clear I wasn't getting the job.

After several minutes of waiting, I decided to leave. All that practice had gone to waste. I should've just stayed at the restaurant to work overtime instead.

But before I could reach the door, it swung open, and my eyes widened at the sight of a familiar face.

What was she doing here? Someone like her didn't belong in a place like this.

"Doctor Vallero?"

"So you're telling me you were there because you were applying for a job? In that kind of place, really?"

I bit my lower lip and looked down. Dra. Vallero sighed deeply, and shame immediately washed over me. She used to be my classmate back in high school, now she's successful, living comfortably, while I... well, look at me.

"How about your son? How's he doing? I just came back to the Philippines, and I was planning to visit you soon. I didn't expect to see you in a place like that," she asked again.

My chest tightened, and I couldn't answer right away. Dra. Vallero was actually the one who helped deliver my baby. I had no money for the hospital and no one with me at the time. Thankfully, she happened to be on duty and helped me even though I didn't know how I'd pay for anything. She even covered part of my bills after I gave birth, so my debt didn't grow too big.

I was supposed to thank her back then, but I later heard she went abroad before I could even talk to her again. So she never found out that...

"My son's gone."

"What? What do you mean gone? Did his father take him away from you?"

I bit my lip and gave her a faint, bitter smile. "H-He died when he was two. Dengue," I said softly.

Her lips parted slightly in shock, and I quickly looked away as I exhaled deeply.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know," she murmured.

I pulled her coat tighter around me-the one she'd lent earlier when she saw how short my clothes were. She had also invited me to grab coffee nearby so we could talk. I was going to refuse at first; I could only afford 3-in-1 coffee anyway. But she insisted, saying it was her treat, so of course, I went along.

"It's fine. Hardly anyone from our batch even knows. The others... well, they don't care," I said quietly.

"But Lyana..."

"When did you come back, by the way?" I quickly changed the topic, looking up at her. "Are you here for work or just a vacation?"

I couldn't help feeling envious. She could just hop on a plane without worrying if she'd have something to eat the next day. Must be nice.

She gave a small smile, though I could tell it was forced. "I came back for work. My cousin hired me, he said they needed my help, so I returned even though I was busy abroad," she explained.

"What kind of work? Are you still a doctor?"

She hesitated for a moment, as if unsure whether to answer. Then she let out a nervous laugh. "N-Not exactly. I'm no longer working in a government hospital. Uh... I work for an agency. As a doctor."

"Really? What kind of agency?" I asked curiously. Maybe she knew of a job opening I could apply for. I was supposed to pick up Thirdy from Auntie's tomorrow, so I needed some assurance that I'd have work soon. Just enough to give me a little peace of mind.

She still didn't answer right away, like she was carefully choosing her words.

Finally, she sighed and leaned closer. "I work for a surrogacy agency in California," she said in a low voice.

My brows knitted in confusion. "Surro... what? What kind of job is that?"

The word sounded familiar, but since I'm no doctor, and definitely not as smart as she is, I  couldn't recall exactly what it meant. Maybe I'd heard it once at school? Or in a hospital? I wasn't sure.

"It's hard to explain, but basically... w-we look for women who can carry a baby-"

My eyes widened, and I clamped a hand over my mouth. "Is that illegal?" The words slipped out before I could stop them.

She didn't look offended, probably used to that question by now. She calmly shook her head. "It's legal in other countries. It's not illegal here either, but since the Philippines is considered conservative, it's not common," she explained.

I slowly lowered my hand and nodded. "So... what do those women do, exactly? Is it like a real job? Since you said it's an agency."

"Well, we help couples who can't have children due to infertility or medical conditions. We assist them through gestational surrogacy, meaning the egg cell of the woman and the sperm cell of the man are implanted into the surrogate mother's womb. For same-sex couples, we help them too, by finding an egg or sperm donor. The baby grows in the surrogate's womb until birth."

My mouth fell open at her explanation. Maybe I was just slow, but it took me a moment to fully grasp what she said.

"I-Is that even possible?" I asked in disbelief.

She nodded. "It is. We've helped a lot of couples already. The agency and the surrogate mother are both compensated, depending on the contract," she said.

Compensated?

"You mean... those women make money off the babies-"

"It's not like that," she interrupted quickly, making me look up at her again. "They're helping couples have children. The payment is compensation for that help. It's a fair exchange, they support you financially, and you help them start a family. But of course, it still depends on the surrogate's mindset."

I slowly nodded, finally understanding what she meant. "That's... actually amazing. I didn't know something like that was possible," I commented.

"Lyana?"

"Hmm?" I casually sipped the coffee she'd bought me. "What is it?"

"Your baby... he was healthy when you gave birth, right? No complications?"

I frowned a little but nodded. "Yeah. He was healthy. My pregnancy was fine too. I wasn't even sensitive back then. He only got sick because of... dengue." My voice trailed off as I looked down.

"You mentioned before that your relationship with the baby's father was short, right? H-How many times before you..."

"Before?"

"Before you conceived?"

I nearly spat out my drink at her question, snapping my head up to glare at her.

"I-I mean, I'm just curious. If it only happened once, then that means you... well, you get pregnant easily."

I stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded, before I managed to speak. "Why are you asking me that kind of question?"

"You need a job, right? For your brother?"

Though confused, I still nodded. I really did need one, especially now that I was getting Thirdy back. He was my only priority. "I need it badly," I said firmly.

"In that case..." She met my eyes, and I suddenly felt uneasy, sensing that whatever she was about to say would change something. I was about to look away when she finally spoke again.

"Would you like to be a surrogate?"

"H-Huh? Surrogate?" I asked in disbelief, pointing at myself. "M-Me?"

She nodded slowly and motioned for me to come closer. Though confused, I still obeyed and stepped toward her.

"It's a secret, okay? The truth is, I went to that bar because I know Mamita. I was going to ask her help in finding a surrogate-"

"But didn't you say you already have an agency?" I cut her off. "Why not just look for one there? What if the person you get has HIV or something? You'll just put yourself in danger."

She quickly gestured for me to lower my voice. We were still in a coffee shop, and anyone might overhear our conversation. I nodded in understanding.

"In our agency, the supposed parents have to be the ones to go there themselves," she explained. "But in my cousin's case, they can't leave the country. The family mustn't know. Her husband doesn't want to tell anyone that she can't get pregnant, so..."

"If they can't go abroad, then just bring the surrogate here," I interrupted again.

She shook her head and sighed heavily. "That's not allowed in our agency. So I had no choice but to come home to the Philippines and look for someone who can be their surrogate mother."

I fell silent. Not because I was considering it, but because I couldn't believe such a thing existed. The world was truly unfair, wasn't it?

Teenagers who have unprotected sex get pregnant so easily, while married couples who are ready and longing for a child can't conceive at all. Those who don't want children end up having them, and those who dream of having one... never do.

I let out a long sigh and shook my head. The world was never equal for everyone.

"Lyana?"

I blinked and returned to reality when Dr. Vallero called my name. I looked up at her, confused, and she sighed once more.

"Please, say yes," she pleaded. "I know you're still confused right now, but I'll explain everything carefully if you'll just agree-"

"W-Wait." I raised my hand to stop her from talking. "W-Why me? There are so many other women out there. Why me? And didn't you hear? My child-my child died-"

"But that wasn't your fault," she interrupted firmly, and I fell silent. "You had a healthy pregnancy, didn't you? You even said it only took one time, and you got pregnant right away. You didn't miscarry even though you were working back then. You gave birth smoothly. Everything... you would be a perfect surrogate, Lyana."

I blinked several times, unsure how to respond. Finally, I shook my head and sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm not into that kind of thing. And pregnancy isn't easy, you know," I refused softly.

"Lyana, my cousin is rich-really rich. You'll only carry the baby for nine months, and that's it. You'll have no responsibility for the child afterward, and you'll get paid. My cousin can pay you millions just so they can have a baby. Come on, Lyana. Please say yes."

I bit my lower lip, silent. I didn't know what to say. Yes, I needed money... but not that way.

What if I couldn't let the baby go? What if I grew attached? I already knew how hard pregnancy was-that alone made me hesitate.

"You should ask someone else, Dr. Vallero. I'm sure plenty of women would accept your offer, especially since you said your cousin would pay a huge amount. But if you're asking me... I'm sorry, but no," I said, lowering my gaze.

She sighed deeply, making the air between us heavy.

"Lyana, this isn't charity. It's a job-a legal one. After nine months, you'll be free again. You can go back to college, find a better job afterward. This is a good opportunity for you."

Even with that tempting offer, I still shook my head. No amount of money could ever replace motherhood. I didn't even know if surrogates could still be called mothers.

"I'm really sorry. Please offer it to someone else," I said, standing up. "Thank you for the coffee and the offer, but I can't accept it."

"Lyana..."

I let out a deep sigh and gave her a small smile. "I hope your cousin finds a surrogate soon so she and her husband can have a baby. I'll include you in my prayers. Thank you-and I'm sorry again. I really want to repay the help you gave me when I gave birth before, but... not this way. I'm sorry. I'll go ahead."

I was about to leave when she stopped me, holding my wrist before standing up. She reached into her bag and placed something in my hand. My brows furrowed when I saw what it was.

"That's my calling card," she said. "If you ever change your mind about the offer, just call me. I'll wait for your call, okay?"

"H-Huh? But I already told you I'm not interested-"

"Just in case you change your mind," she interrupted, patting my shoulder lightly. "It would be a waste if you did and couldn't contact me, right? Lyana, I trust you. If I'm going to find a surrogate, I'd rather it be someone I know-and someone I trust."

"But still..."

"I'm not forcing you," she said gently. "I'll respect your choice. But if ever... just call me, okay?" She gave me a faint smile.

In the end, I could only nod and say goodbye. I was about to return the jacket she lent me earlier to cover myself, but she refused, saying I might get harassed on the way home. So I thanked her again and left the coffee shop.

My steps felt heavy as I walked away, my mind replaying everything she said. I still didn't fully understand what she meant by "surrogate"-maybe that was one reason I said no. I didn't even know how a baby was made in a surrogate's womb.

Maybe it's normal abroad, but here, it just isn't. Maybe I just didn't know much because I never finished school. Still, the idea felt too complicated for me.

I hailed a jeep and climbed in; my feet were aching badly. I sighed. Ten pesos gone-but I couldn't walk any farther. I just wanted to rest. Too much had happened today, and all I wanted was my bed, even if it was hard and hurt my back. Besides, I still had to pick up Thirdy from Auntie's place.

I hadn't even settled into my seat when my phone started ringing. I took out my old keypad cellphone and frowned when I saw the caller ID. It was Auntie.

That was strange-usually, I was the one who called her to check on Thirdy. Why was she calling me now? Still confused, I answered the call. "Auntie? Why?" I asked right away.

"L-Lyana, it's Thirdy... s-something happened to Thirdy..."

My heart skipped a beat. A wave of fear rushed through me. I swallowed hard. "W-What happened to Thirdy, Auntie? What's going on?"

"Th-Thirdy... he was hit by a car..."

The world stopped. It was as if someone had doused me with ice-cold water.

"W-What?!"