Kaia

The morning light burned. I forced my heavy eyelids up, meeting Selene's bright stare across the library table. Another history session meant two hours of her voice buzzing in my ear while I fought to keep my head from hitting the wood.

"Are you even in there?" she snapped. She puffed out her cheeks, the picture of a frustrated sister. "This matters, Kaia. You have to pick the order. Four territories. One path."

I rubbed the dull ache in my temples. The weight of my father's expectations felt like lead in my veins. "I have to visit all of them anyway. Does the sequence really change the end game?"

Selene leaned back, her pen tapping a restless rhythm against her chin. "It might. The first Alpha you visit gets the first chance to impress you. An advantage. But," she paused, her eyes searching mine, "if you have a true mate out there, I guess the order is just a formality."

Mate.

The word hit like a physical spark. Inside my mind, Selah stirred, her phantom fur bristling with sudden interest. She was obsessed with the idea of a match, far more than I was.

"Advantageous," I murmured. I traced my thumb over my lower lip, trying to channel my father's cold, calculating logic. He would head straight for the apex predator, the pack with the most teeth. So, naturally, I chose the opposite. "Notios last."

Mate... find him... 'I hear you, Selah,' I thought, pushing her excitement back into the dark corners of my mind. 'You're desperate. I get it. But you aren't helping me think.'

"Notios last," Selene repeated. She shook her head, her dark curls brushing her skin. She looked baffled, but she didn't fight me. "Fine. It's probably smart. They have two potential Alphas to deal with anyway."

My hand stopped mid-motion. "Two?"

Great. As if four bachelors weren't enough of a headache. Now I was looking at five.

"One pack, twin brothers," she clarified. "The word is the older one is set for the Alpha seat. The younger stays as Beta."

"How much older?" The thought of twins made my skin crawl with a strange tension.

Maybe he is there, Selah whispered. Maybe we find him sooner.

"Four minutes," Selene said. She pulled a crumpled, hand-drawn map toward her and drew a thick X over the Notios region. "That's the gap between them."

I stared at the ink. I suddenly wished I'd listened when my father used to drone on about timing. He always said seconds were the difference between life and death. I didn't realize he meant it literally for a birthright.

"Focus, Kaia," Selene said, rapping her pen on the table. "Who is first? Voreios, Anatolikos, or Dytikos?"

I blinked, the names blurring on the page. "If you were me, where would you go?"

She froze. The pen hovered an inch from the paper as she locked eyes with me. "Cain is the strategist. Not me."

"Cain isn't the one being sent on a tour of the country," I countered. "Tell me what you think."

"Voreios," she said, the word out of her mouth before she could think better of it. She looked down at the map, her face Tightening.

I arched a brow. "Why there?"

She looked up, her gaze steady and serious. "Their females. They don't just run the house, Kaia. They train as warriors. Hard. You'd learn how to bleed and bite in your wolf form. You'd learn how to actually survive a real fight."

Selah sat up at that. The mating talk was one thing, but the idea of teeth and claws? That got her blood moving.

"In wolf form," I echoed. A ghost of a smile pulled at my mouth as Selene nodded.

Cain had taught me how to break a man's nose and how to fire a sidearm. He'd put me through hell in my human skin. But he had never touched my wolf training. He called me a novice, a girl who knew how to throw a punch but didn't know how to hunt.

"Voreios for the training," I said, watching her closely. "Was that your idea? Or did Cain put you up to it?"

The silence stretched. Selene bit her lip, her eyes flickering. "Both."

Her expression shifted, a silent prompt for me to see the truth hiding in the gaps of her words. My jaw clenched as the realization settled in. My father. He would never allow Cain to teach me how to be a weapon in my wolf form. He wanted a Luna, not a soldier.

I slumped back, the chair creaking under my weight. "Voreios first."

"Just like that?" She sounded shocked. I just nodded. She marked the map with a sharp flick of her wrist. "Okay. Second. Anatolikos or Dytikos?"

I held up my palms, letting her take the lead. She didn't give a simple answer; she started talking through the board like a general.

"Dytikos is closer, logistically. But to get from Anatolikos to Dytikos, you have to cut right through Kentrikos. That's a headache. You need Alpha clearance just to breathe on their borders. Though, knowing your father, he's probably already cleared the way..." She trailed off, her eyes tracing the lines of the territories.

"Forget the borders," I interrupted. "Tell me about the people."

She started drumming her fingers again. "Dytikos? They forge the steel. They own the biggest silver mine in the territory. Your father's labs are there, too. Very industrial. But Anatolikos..."

She stopped, pointing the pen at my chest. "Go there second. Definitely."

I didn't actually care about the order anymore, but the spark in her eyes caught me. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

A faint flush crept up her neck. "They're scholars. They focus on history and healing."

I chuckled. It sounded like a nightmare of books and bandages. "And you think I care about that because...?"

"Because their pack has the strongest Luna in the four regions," she said simply.

She didn't have to say anything else. I never had a mother to show me the ropes. If my father's plan was to marry me off to a high-ranking wolf, I needed to see what a real Luna looked like-not just the version my father wanted me to be.

"Fine," I sighed, giving in.

She scribbled the names down, her face glowing with a small sense of victory. "So it's settled? Voreios, Anatolikos, Dytikos, then Notios?"

"Sounds like a plan," I groaned, sliding down in my chair until my chin hit my chest.

Ten minutes. That was all it took for my list to travel from Selene's hand to Thorne's, and then straight to my father's desk. When the summons came, I knew I was walking into a storm.

I stepped into the office, my pulse thudding in my throat. I should have taken this more seriously. Letting Selene play strategist was starting to feel like a massive mistake.

"Kaia." My father didn't look up. He flicked a piece of paper across the dark wood of his desk. It was Selene's map, wrinkled and stained with ink.

Thorne stood in the shadows by the window. His scowl was so deep it looked painful. Usually, he just looked annoyed, but today his steel-gray eyes were alive with a golden, predatory heat. He looked like he wanted to tear the map to pieces.

"These choices," my father said, finally meeting my gaze. His voice was smooth, like silk over a blade. "They are curious."

"They are a disaster," Thorne barked. He took a step forward, his jaw tight. "It makes no sense. Why hit Voreios and then trek to the far edge of the map for Dytikos? You want to cross Kentrikos twice? Do you have any concept of the red tape involved in moving through those borders?"

I didn't look at Thorne. I kept my eyes on my father. He was the one holding the leash. "I know it's a lot of paperwork. But I'm not changing my mind."

My father laced his fingers, leaning his chin on his hands. He looked like he was watching a bug under glass. "Tell me why."

I swallowed hard, forcing my voice to stay steady. "Cain's training isn't enough. I'm a novice in my skin and even worse in my fur. The Voreios pack are killers. I want to learn how to fight in wolf form so I can actually defend myself for once. Besides, I know their shipping ports are a mess right now. If I'm there, I can talk to them. Fix the tension."

"That is none of your concern," Thorne snapped. His fists were white at his sides.

My father held up one finger. Thorne went silent, though his chest heaved with a low, frustrated breath. "Go on, Kaia."

"Anatolikos has the strongest Luna in the regions," I said. I felt Selah's ears perk up at the mention of power. "If I'm going to lead, I need to see what real strength looks like. I need to be better than her."

I didn't wait for him to respond. "Dytikos is for the weapons. I want to see their new silver tech. And Notios..." I hesitated, knowing this was the thin part of my lie. "Notios is the biggest threat. They have the numbers."

"Then go there first," my father challenged.

"No. Because of the twins," I said. "They haven't settled who takes the Alpha seat. If I go there last, the dust will be settled. I'll know exactly who I'm dealing with."

I looked down at my boots. My heart was hammering against my ribs. I waited for the laughter or the lecture. The silence in the room was suffocating. I could hear Thorne's teeth grinding from across the room.

Finally, my father leaned back. The tension snapped. "Thorne. Prepare the route."

Thorne flinched like he'd been slapped. "Narcisse, listen to reason-"

"Make the arrangements," my father repeated. His eyes never left mine. "She has no idea what she is doing, but let her walk the path. She will learn that every choice carries a weight. Some weights break bones."

My skin burned. Part of me was relieved, but the sting of his words tasted like copper. He didn't believe in me. He just wanted to watch me fail.

"But-" Thorne started again.

"You are dismissed," my father said.

Thorne turned on his heel. He didn't say a word, but the look he gave me as he passed was sharp enough to draw blood. I gave him a tiny, sharp smile. A small win, but I'd take it.

Once the door clicked shut, my father reached into a heavy desk drawer. "Kaia. Take this. A gift before you leave."

"Leave?" The word felt cold. I'd spent my whole life in these halls. No matter how much I hated his shadow, the thought of being cast out made my stomach turn.

He set a small black box on the desk and slid it toward me. "You are my daughter. You will always have a place here. Wear this. It will keep the border guards from asking too many questions."

I opened the lid. A thin chain sat on the velvet. Two charms hung from it. One was our White Moon Sigil. The other was a strange shape-a half-circle sliced by a triangle. I reached out to touch it, then froze.

"Is this silver?"

Selah growled deep in my mind, a warning vibration that hummed through my bones.

"Platinum," my father said. His voice softened, just a fraction. "Your mother hated silver."

My breath hitched. That was twice in one month. He hadn't spoken of her in years, and now her ghost was everywhere.

"My mother," I whispered, looking up at him. "Tell me about her. Please."

His face turned to stone again. The brief flash of humanity was gone. "You are excused."

The coldness was back. I grabbed the box, the metal pressing into my palm. "Thank you," I said, but the words felt like ash.

...

Days later, the library felt like a cage. History books sat heavy and forgotten on the table. I traced the grain of the wood with my fingernail, my mind miles away from dusty dates and borders.

"Kaia." Selene snapped her fingers, the sharp sound echoing off the stone walls. Her brows were pulled tight. "Focus. You head to Voreios territory first. You need to know who you are walking into."

I leaned back, my eyes narrowing. "First, tell me what happened in the woods the other morning."

Selene looked down, her hazel eyes darting toward the stacks of books. She fumbled with the edge of a page. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She thought I was digging for gossip about her and Cain. I let out a breath and leaned in closer. "When I shifted. When you saw Selah for the first time. You looked like you'd seen a ghost."

"Oh." The tension in her shoulders dropped, and a soft pink crawled up her neck. "Sorry. I just... I've never seen a white wolf before. Neither had Cain."

"How would you know what Cain saw?"

"Through the link," she said, as if it were as natural as breathing.

I stared at her. I remembered her mentioning it before, but the concept felt like a wall I couldn't climb. "You just... talk in your heads?"

She looked at me with a pained kind of patience. "It's a mental bridge, Kaia. You share thoughts, images, even a flash of how someone feels. You've really never felt it?"

"The only thing in my head is her," I said. My voice felt small. Selah was a constant hum in the back of my skull, but she was a part of me, not a guest.

"Selah." Selene's expression softened. "It fits. Snow. She's... you are beautiful in that skin."

Heat rushed to my face. Inside, I felt a low, vibrating warmth. 'See? She has taste,' Selah hummed.

'You aren't a cat, stop purring,' I snapped back.

'I am not a cat,' she grumbled.

"Your eyes, though," Selene whispered, leaning across the table to peer into mine. "They didn't change. Every wolf I've ever seen gets those deep blue eyes the moment they turn. Yours stayed the same."

"Is that bad?"

Selene slumped. "I don't know. I'll keep digging through the old texts, but white wolves are rare. There isn't much written about things that aren't supposed to exist."

The disappointment was a dull ache in my chest. "Thanks anyway."

"Anyway," Selene said, shaking off the heavy mood. She tapped a diagram on the page. "The Silverback Pack. Their sigil is-"

"One more thing," I cut in. I needed the truth. "That morning, when you and Cain bolted into the trees. Why did you leave me?"

She reached out, her hand light on my arm. "We thought you needed space to settle into your skin. To breathe. Besides," she paused, a teasing glint in her eye, "your wolf is a little slow. She needs time to catch up with you."

'Slow? I will show her slow,' Selah hissed.

"Cain and I went for a run," Selene continued, her blush returning. "Running with your mate... or the person who might be your mate... it's how we bond. It's primal." She shook a textbook at me. "Which is why you need to pay attention. Your match could be waiting in the North."

"I'm thrilled," I said. My voice was bone-dry.

"Sure you are." Selene rolled her eyes. "Fine. The leaders are Alpha Faelon and Luna Calantha. Their inner circle is Beta Arawn and Gamma Jarek. They have two kids. Lorcan is the heir. Then there's Ravenna."

I frowned, trying to map out the politics. "If they have a future Alpha and Luna already, why am I bothering with a visit?"

"Ravenna will likely be traded or mated out to another pack. Siblings don't lead together, Kaia. Lorcan takes the seat. Ravenna... well, she's a different story."

"Sounds like she's getting the short end of the stick just for being a girl," I muttered.

"Maybe. But for now, you'll be training with her."

My interest spiked. "She trains the warriors?"

"She trains everyone," Selene said. There was a flicker of something like respect, maybe even envy, in her eyes. "They say she's the most brutal instructor in the territories. She has no interest in the politics of being Alpha. She just wants to fight."

"I want to learn from her," I said. The words felt right the moment they left my tongue. In my mind, Selah stood tall, her tail giving a sharp, eager flick. 'Finally. Someone who bites.'

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," Selene warned. "Training won't start until the competition is over."

"What competition?"

"The males," she said. A strange look crossed her face, half-amused and half-wary. "I can't really describe it. You just have to see it for yourself."

"I'll bring my popcorn," I said, leaning back. The sarcasm was there, but the knot in my stomach had finally loosened. A strange sense of calm washed over me, a quiet hum that told me Voreios was the right move.

I just hoped I was ready for whatever Ravenna had waiting for me.

Kaia

The last two weeks on my father's island were a blur of sweat and raw meat. I stopped making excuses. I stopped slacking. Every morning, I pushed my body into the shift, my bones snapping and reforming until I was running on four paws alongside Cain and Selene. They were so lost in each other it was nauseating. I was the third wheel in a high-speed furry romance, trailing behind while they shared silent glances I couldn't understand.

Afternoons were a slow torture of history. Selene's voice would drone on, a steady hum that made my forehead itch to meet the table. But the evenings were different. Cain was a monster in the gym. He broke me down, over and over, drilling human defense into my muscle memory until my limbs turned to lead. Then came the range. I fired until the smell of gunpowder lived in my skin and my arms shook too hard to load another clip.

And then there was the hunger.

I turned into a predator. Red meat was the only thing that stopped the growl in my gut. I didn't just eat; I fueled a fire. Selah was worse. She tore through the local deer population like she was trying to wipe them out.

When sleep finally took me, it was total. No more haunting dreams of white fur and blood. Just twelve hours of heavy, black void. It was the reset I needed.

Selah and I were finally clicking. The silence between us started to fill with a strange, steady heat. I didn't feel the old ache of loneliness anymore. I didn't care about a mate. I had her.

'We are not friends,' Selah snapped, her mental voice sharp and dry.

'Whatever you say. You're stuck with me either way.'

My father was a ghost. He'd drift in every few days to get reports from his shadows, Cain and Selene. He didn't bark at me as much, which was its own kind of unsettling. It reminded me that even if they were kind to me, they were his soldiers first.

The day before we were set to leave, I finally felt the shift in my own power.

A heavy crack echoed through the gym as Cain's back hit the mat. I didn't give him a second to breathe. I lunged, pinning his shoulders down with everything I had. We stayed there for a heartbeat, chests heaving, sweat dripping from my nose onto his forehead. His breath smelled like protein shakes and effort. I rolled him over, shoving his face into the rubber mat and locking his wrists behind him.

"Get off, Princess," Cain grunted. His voice was muffled by the floor. He sounded small, annoyed.

"Admit it," I said, leaning my knee into the small of his back. I let a smug grin spread across my face. "I got you."

"Selene was distracting me," he lied.

I let him go and slumped onto the floor beside him, wiping the wet hair from my eyes. He sat up, rubbing his wrists, his gaze drifting toward the door where Selene usually waited. Those two were a unit. Even when they weren't touching, they were bound by an invisible cord. It was too much. Seeing them made me want to swear off men forever. I'd stick to the stories in my head; they were less messy.

Then came the news that felt like a slap. At my father's word, Rook canceled my pack ceremony. The whispers started immediately, crawling through the pack like a fever.

'Maybe I'm not enough,' I thought, my stomach churning. 'Maybe he sees I'm failing.'

'No. He is just an asshole,' Selah cut in.

She was right. She usually was.

The summons to his office came an hour later. I should have felt it coming. The necklace he gave me was a heavy weight against my collarbone, a constant reminder of an exit.

"Tomorrow?" I asked. The word felt like it was made of glass.

"Tomorrow. Pack your things," he said. He didn't look up. His eyes stayed on the platinum chain around my neck, cold and distant.

"Do I get a vote in this?" My voice was thin, a soft sound that caught us both off guard.

He stood up, walking around the desk until he was looming over me. He placed his hands on my shoulders. The weight of him felt like it was trying to crush me into the floorboards.

"Kaia," he said, his voice low and hard. "You are the end of our line. The legacy stops or starts with you. If you won't pick a path, I will pave one for you."

I felt a bitter chill in my chest. I wasn't a daughter to him. I was a broodmare. A way to keep a bloodline moving. I stared at his chest, silent and nodding, because fighting him felt like fighting a mountain.

He pulled his hands away. The heat went with them.

"Goodbye, Kaia."

...

"I can't believe this," I snapped, tossing a stack of books onto my bed. I looked at the pile of my life. A laptop, a phone, and a few notebooks. That was it. Everything else belonged to my father's house, not to me.

The realization felt like a punch to the gut. I owned nothing.

"What do you want to wear?" Selene called out. She was deep in my closet, the sound of hangers sliding against metal clicking like a countdown. "You have plenty of choices."

"Am I even coming back here?" I asked. I gripped the edge of my suitcase, my knuckles turning white.

"No," she said. Her voice was muffled by the rows of silk and wool. "But don't worry. I'll make sure your bags move with us to each pack house."

I didn't care about the logistics. The thought of never seeing this room again made the air feel thin. "We aren't even stopping here between Anatolikos and Dytikos?"

Selene emerged from the closet with an armful of clothes. "Not according to the plan Cain and I have. But plans change. Now, pick something. You need to look like someone worth knowing when we arrive."

"Pack houses," I muttered. My shoulders dropped. The idea of performing for strangers made my skin itch. "Just pick whatever. You know what they like better than I do."

"Watch the tone, Kaia. What do you think this place is?" She waved her hand at the room, then at the window where the sprawling estate lay.

I stared at her. A slow, cold realization started to crawl up my spine. "Wait. You mean everyone here? On the island?"

"Almost everyone," Selene said. She leaned against the doorframe, watching me. "Astra is the doctor. She keeps the White Moon healthy. The guards are our warriors. Even in the library, we aren't just reading. We're recording the bloodlines. Your father is the Alpha of the Alphas. And Thorne? Rook? They're the teeth of this pack."

My head spun. I had lived my whole life in a house of predators and never noticed the scent of the hunt. My father hadn't just raised me in a house; he'd raised me in a fortress.

"How many?" I sat on the edge of the bed, my fingers trembling as I zipped my laptop case. "How many are under his thumb?"

"Around fourteen hundred," Selene said. She spoke as if she were giving me the weather report.

I choked on my own breath. "Fourteen hundred?"

She nodded. "Three hundred here in Kentrikos. Voreios is the smallest, maybe a hundred and fifty. Anatolikos has two-fifty. Dytikos has three hundred. And Notios has four hundred."

"Four hundred in the south," I repeated. My heart hammered against my ribs. "That's enough to-"

"Enough to challenge him, yes," she finished for me. She began folding a shirt with practiced ease. "But your father's men are the elite. You've felt Cain's training. Most of our pack are soldiers, not just wolves."

I swallowed a dry lump in my throat. My choice to visit the south last felt less like a strategy and more like a death wish. "So my father... he wants a match with Notios."

"The Notios Alphas are powerful," Selene said. Her voice dropped an octave. "And attractive, from what I hear. They have to be. They're built to lead."

I squinted at her. She was usually an open book, but something in her eyes had shifted. She was my friend, or as close as I had, but she was still on the payroll.

"Selene," I said, my voice sharp. "What is your actual job?"

She froze. Her hands stayed buried in the fabric of my dresses. "Right now? My job is to help you. To teach you where you came from."

A low growl started in the base of my throat. It was a raw, rattling sound I didn't know I could make. "And?"

She lowered her head. Her voice was a tiny, fragile thing. "And to record history."

"What history?" I pressed.

She looked over her shoulder, her face flushed red. "Yours."

"Mine?" I let out a harsh, hollow laugh. I thought about the family book. One word next to my name: Surviving. "I'm a nobody. I've done nothing but take up space."

Selah shifted in my mind, a heavy, restless weight. She didn't argue. She knew I felt like a ghost in my own life.

"Not yet, Kaia," Selene whispered.

I shook my head and forced a smirk. "So you're a historian."

"I'm also here to make sure you find a mate," she added, trying to lighten the air. "Which means we need the right clothes. First impressions are everything."

"Great. So you're a librarian and a matchmaker," I teased.

She laughed, the tension finally breaking. "Something like that."

"Each territory has a welcome event during your stay," Selene said. She was back to her brisk, organizing self. "Voreios is holding a competition. Dytikos has an outdoor festival. Anatolikos has a reaping ceremony. And Notios..."

She stopped, her hands hovering over a stack of silk.

"And?" I asked. I picked at a loose thread on the quilt, my nerves jumping.

"Notios is throwing a ball," she said. She wouldn't look at me.

My stomach did a slow, sick roll. A ball meant dancing. I could barely stay on my feet in a fight; how was I supposed to glide across a floor? "Perfect," I muttered.

"Since it's your last stop, the timing is deliberate," Selene added. "It's a celebration. The night you announce your mate."

I crossed my arms, feeling the defensive wall go up. "Why do I even get to choose? Did you pick Cain, or did the universe just hand him to you?"

"The Moon Goddess chooses," Selene explained. She smoothed out a sweater with a slow, careful touch. "She finds the strongest bond. That's the pull Selah will feel. That's the one she'll want."

"Then why the parade? Why dragging me through four territories if the choice is already made?"

Selah's voice was dry in my head. 'Because humans love a show.'

"You're... different," Selene said. She set the clothes down and wiped her palms on her jeans. She walked over to the dresser and pulled out a heavy, leather-bound book I'd never noticed before. She flipped through the thin pages until she found what she was looking for.

She tapped a paragraph. "Read this."

The ink was old, faded into the paper. 'The white wolf is the rarest of all. She is the ultimate Luna. She can speak to the Goddess and hold sway over Alphas. Most importantly, she can choose her own mate. For balance to hold, the white wolf must seek the black wolf.'

'Keep going,' Selah urged. Her voice was uncharacteristically heavy.

I followed Selene's finger to the next section. 'The white wolf is the only female with the power to mark her partner. Her touch brings a surge of power, making her mate stronger and faster. But if she marks a male who is unfaithful, the mark is a death sentence.'

My pulse spiked. I felt a cold chill wash over me. 'Fatal?' I asked Selah.

'For them,' she replied. I could feel her dark, sharp grin in my mind. 'Not for us.'

"I can actually choose?" I looked up at Selene. The weight of it was staggering. This was the first piece of real power I'd been handed since I found out I was a monster.

"You have the right to reject the Goddess," Selene said softly. "No one knows if a second bond is as strong as the first, but your mother did it."

The air left my lungs. "My mother?"

"Yes." Selene's eyes softened. "Your father was not her natural mate. She chose him anyway."

I sat back on the bed, my mind racing. My mother had looked at my father, a man who seemed to be made of stone and ice, and she had chosen him. Had he ever been different? Had her choice been the thing that broke him when she died? I touched the platinum necklace at my throat. It felt heavier now.

"You have that same choice," Selene whispered.

I closed my eyes. I wanted her here. I wanted her to tell me how to know the difference between a bond and a mistake. Every decision I'd made so far had been guided by Selene.

"Everyone knows this, don't they?" I asked, the realization hitting me like a physical blow. "The future Alphas. Their families."

"Yes," Selene said. She went back to the closet, her voice trailing behind her. "They'll be very persuasive, Kaia. They know what a white wolf brings to a pack."

"Lovely," I whispered. I felt like a piece of meat being tossed into a den of lions. My father's insistence on my training finally made sense. He wasn't just preparing me to lead; he was preparing me to survive the hunt.

"That's why Cain and I are coming," Selene said. Her voice was firm now, lacking the usual academic distance. "To have your back."

A small, genuine smile touched my lips. For the first time, I didn't feel like a project or a pawn. I felt like I had a friend.

I stood up and walked over to her. I didn't think about it; I just wrapped my arms around her. She went stiff for a second, surprised by the contact, but then she relaxed. She held me back, her grip steady and warm.

"Thank you, Selene," I whispered.