Back at work, finally out of my funk. I feel more positive. Still confused, but positive.

I'm sat there at my desk typing out a letter for my boss, Mr Fray.

Mind numbingly boring but it keeps my brain busy.

Just as I press print, the office phone rings. I clear my throat and take my professional mode.

"Good morning, Mr Fray's office. How can I help you?" I speak politely.

"Lizzie? It's Holden!"

I grin, hearing his bright voice.

"Hiya!! What's up?" I ask.

"I err... was err... calling to err..." He hesitates, stumbling over his words.

It's cute!

Adorable.

I smile.

"Just say it, Holden." I murmur gently, trying to encourage him.

I hear him down the line taking a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you on a date." He rushes out.

I blush at the request.

"Ask me properly and you might get an answer." I tease.

Holden chuckles slightly. "Sorry, I'm just a little nervous."

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me?"

I grin. "Yes Holden, I'd love to."

After the the phone call, I sit there questioning my acceptance to the date.

I'd spent a whole two days with Dean, letting him love me, and bond with me as more than a Dom or a friend.

I should allow Holden that opportunity too I guess?

Why is it that whenever I see either of these two men, I lose all my self control and end up in bed with them?

I feel like a slut!

I'm going back and forth between these two men, and I've now said I loved Dean, who isn't my mate.

Isn't that rejecting Holden?

Oh I don't know!

It's so confusing!

~*~

I'm stood in my hallway, nervously twirling my loose locks around my finger.

Holden is due any minute now to pick me up for our date.

I am dressed in a slinky deep plum purple wrap dress, hugging my curves perfectly, with a pair of lilac stiletto sandals.

I went all out for this date.

Part of me feels like I made too much of an effort, and that I should change, but the other part thinks I was supposed to dress up.

Holden isn't just a simple wolf. He's an Alpha!

My rightful mate is an Alpha.

Was I the right type to be a pack Luna?

Did I carry the right qualities?

More worries!!

Just as I'm working myself into a frenzy, a knock at the door halts my thoughts.

I shake my head, trying to rid those stressful thoughts from my brain. I take a long, deep and calming breath as I walk to the door.

Swinging it open, I gawp at the gorgeous creature in front of me. Black leather dress shoes, a pair of tight fitting black trousers that hang off his hips in such a sexy fashion. A dark navy blue shirt, striped light blue and purple tie, and that sexy face. An eyebrow raised with a smirk on his face.

He noticed me checking him out.

"Holden... just... wow." I breathe in amazement.

He grins. "I should say the same but I have the words. You look beyond stunning this evening! You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met."

My heart stutters as he says that. I think I love him!

Oh fuck!

The words tumble out of my mouth like vomit. "I love you."

The look on Holden's face lights up my heart and my wolf. "I love you too."

I bite my lip nervously, and grab my handbag. "Shall we go?"

I receive a nod, so I turn off the hallway light, and let Holden take my hand to lead me down the flight of stairs in my block.

"So, where are we going?" I ask, all of sudden nervous about what I'm wearing--again!

"It's a surprise, sweetheart. I think you'll love it." He replies.

"Am I dressed ok?" I whisper, self consciously.

Holden stops me from walking, gripping my hand. He pulls me back flush against his toned body, his musky breath enveloping me like fog, and he speaks. "Yes baby. You look incredible. Don't worry, you won't see anybody. You could be wearing a bin bag for all I care."

Swallowing hard, I nod and flush brightly.

Holden kisses my nose, and leads me towards a car. A flashy car. A black Aston Martin One-77!!

I only know that seeing as my boss wants one.

"Woah!" I am shocked by the car. It's a beyond expensive limited edition, and it was very shiny!

Holden chuckles. "I know. She's my baby."

I smirk. Boys and their toys!!

"Let's go." Holden opens the passenger door and helps me in. God it's low!

I strap myself in while he walks round.

I watch in amazement at his grace when he climbs in. In one smooth movement, he is sat beside me.

~*~

Our date has been wonderful. Romantic, fun and enjoyable.

We went to the mini golf course, which was shut down for the night, just for us.

We were all by ourselves, laughing at each others pathetic excuses for golf talents. We ate a simple meal, drank wine and talked.

I found out so much about Holden.

His parents are wonderful to him. They're mates and have a fantastic relationship. He has four sisters. Jade, who is 29. Freya is 26. Shianne is 21 and Hope is 19. Holden himself is 24, thus being the middle child.

Holden loves hard rock music, and going to live music gigs. He has a love for cars and rugby. He hates trackies and sports clothing, and loves animals. He also wants children in the future.

After leaving the golf course, Holden drives me back home and walks me up to my flat.

After a long passionate game of tonsil tennis, he leaves me to go inside.

What the heck is going on?

My feelings for both these men are increasing, my heart swelling to fit them both in.

I want them both, and so does my wolf.

I need advice!

I can't make a decision without knowing what the hell is going on.

I rush straight to my address book, and find the right number.

Our county Elder, the one who makes difficult decisions. He helps with pack differences and difficult situations. I know he can help me.

I dial his number into my phone, and press the call button with shaky fingers.

It rings... and rings...

It is late, I bet he's asleep or something.

"Hello, this is Frank Paulson. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number, and I'll get back to you." States the voicemail message.

I sigh and wait for the beep, explaining the situation briefly and giving him my name and number.

I hope he can help.

I slump on my sofa and place my head in my hands. "What the fuck is going on? It's not like I can have two mates!!" I moan to myself out loud.

I am becoming exasperated.

Save me!

Somebody?

I force myself up, strip out of my dress and climb into bed, forcing myself into a much needed slumber.

Goodnight world, I will deal with you tomorrow!

I was awoken by my phone ringing with a high pitched shrill.

I rolled over and grabbed it drowsily.

"Mmm?" I answer.

"Lizzie Knight?" A powerful voice questioned down the line.

"Yeah? Who's this?" I ask, trying to sit up.

I hear a chuckle. "Frank Paulson, you left a message about your... predicament?"

My eyes widen, and I leap off the bed, bounding around.

"Hello! Oh, thank you! Thank you for calling back so quickly!" I rush out, begging for answers.

"Right, Lizzie. I would prefer to discuss this matter in person? Are you free at some point today? From my records, you are located in Nottinghamshire?"

God, he's formal!

"Yes, yes I am. I live just outside of Newark."

Our conversation ends after we decide on a cafe in town at 4pm.

I am on edge all day!

I have a half day at work today as Mr Fray leaves for a business trip to Vancouver at 11.30am.

Just another bonus.

I rush off to the bathroom, shower under almost scalding rivets of water, before drying off. I brush my teeth and start to do my make over routine.

After drying, I style my hair neatly in a French plait. I rub on some foundation, apply my eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara, and place some lip balm on my dry, cracked lips.

I slip on my tight fitting black pencil skirt, frilly lilac shirt, and heeled court shoes.

I grab my work jacket and handbag, picking up an apple and rushing out the door like I do everyday.

I check my watch as I wait for the bus. 8:10... If this bus doesn't turn up soon, I'm going to be late!

Damn public transport!

~*~

Well, work is boring. I arrive just in the nick of time at 8:57! Three minutes before my clock-in time.

Thank baby Jesus I wasn't late as Mr Fray was in a royally bad mood. His head was up his ass!

What's wrong with him?

I make his coffee SEVEN fucking times before he accepts it.

"That is too sweet!"

"That's too bitter!"

"Eurgh, where's the coffee?"

"Too much coffee!"

"It's cold!"

I bite my tongue each time he snaps at me. I have to or I lose my job.

I can't lose my job or I end up homeless!

Finally, Mr Fray leaves, still huffing and bitching about the world and all the people in it.

I feel relieved as I watch his taxi depart from in front of the building.

"Finally!" I breathe and grab my jacket and bag, and clock out before rushing into town.

Grabbing a sandwich from the shop, I sit on a bench and scoff my face, totally ignoring the disgusted and appalled looks from people walking by.

I'm hungry! Get over it!

I clean my face with a napkin, before heading off to the shopping centre. I need some new work clothes, and maybe an outfit or two for these various dates I keep getting asked out on.

After stalking around the shop, picking up various pieces of clothing--dresses, skirts and trousers. Shirts, jackets and a few pairs of jeans--I head into the changing rooms.

This is the only part of clothes shopping I hate. I'm happy to find the clothes and pay for them but I hate being cooped up in a small cubicle, a thin piece of material separating me from the public. It's so open!

I manage to try everything on. It all fits perfectly, and suits me down to a T.

I pay with my credit card. Ouchies... £145!

Thank fuck for credit cards!

After traipsing around town, I realise the time, squeak out loud and rush to the cafe. I stand at the counter waiting to get served.

"Seriously? These people are paid to serve customers and they'd rather stand out back having a chat!" I moan.

I am startled by a loud chuckle behind me. I turn round to see a white haired, attractive older man smiling at me.

"I totally get what you mean! Some workers just don't get the meaning of customer service." He grins, before winking mischievously. He slips past me and behind the counter and out back to where the staff are having a natter.

I hear his loud booming voice. "I DO NOT PAY YOU TO STAND AROUND CHATTING WHILE DRINKING THE SUPPLIES! NOW, GET OUT THERE AND SERVE SOME CUSTOMERS BEFORE I FIRE YOUR ASSES!"

I bite my lip, trying not to laugh.

The white haired dude comes out again, followed by a couple of girls in their early twenties with sheepish looks on their faces.

One clears her throat and looks up at me as the guy comes out from behind the counter. "Sorry for the delay. What can I get you?" She asks politely.

"Large latte, please. Oh, and a blueberry muffin, thanks." I murmur, rummaging around my handbag for my purse.

After paying for my order, I take my tray and find a seat. I see Mr Whitehair sat down at a table for two, a book in his hand and a big leaver arch folder on the table.

Hmm...

He lifts his head up and smiles at me. 'I take it you're meeting someone?" He asks.

I smile back and nod. "Yup but I have no idea what he looks like!" I show a face of worry.

He chuckles. "Well, I'm guessing its me... Miss Knight?"

I grin and wander over. I put the tray on a table close by and slide it over, before sticking my hand out. "Thank you for meeting me, Mr Paulson." I shake his hand before sitting down opposite him.

"Let's get down to business." He states.

~*~

"So, what you're saying is, err... my wolf is confused?" I ask, wrinkling my nose, not understanding all the information Mr Paulson had just sprouted.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "No, no, no. Right, I'll put this in simple terms for you."

"Yes, your wolf is slightly confused with what is happening to you, but that isn't the issue. Holden and Dean are both, by what you've told me, your mates."

"Some wolves have two mates. It's very rare but I have come across it twice for me in this job."

I gawp in shock. "What?! How does that work? How can I have two? How can I choose between them?"

Mr Paulson shakes his head. "The strange thing is, you don't. You can mate both of them and have a happy life. It is easier to choose one or the other, but it has been done and can work out well if done right."

"It's a very unconventional solution though and can end up with the mates fighting for attention."

I swallow back bile at the idea of Dean and Holden fighting each other for my attention. I couldn't handle losing either of them. I couldn't imagine it!

"Right... so, how would it work? One of my mates is an Alpha? How could I be a Luna if I'm another wolf's mate as well?" I ask with a shaky voice.

My heart is pounding out of my chest, I feel beads of sweat trickle down my back, and my heart aches painfully.

I am so confused!

"It just would. His pack would accept you as Luna because that's your right as his mate."

"The only problem I can see presenting itself, is your mates not accepting the situation you're in and making you choose."

I shake my head, not wanting to picture the scenario in my fragile mind.

"I'm still confused. How can Holden AND Dean both be my mates if my wolf hasn't stated Dean is? She feels pleasure and excitement by him being close, but with Dean, she knew instantly that he was hers." I ask.

Mr Paulson smiles. "It's quite simple. Due to Holden's position, his ranking shall I say, it was stronger for you. Dean and you obviously share a strong connection as well, but he isn't an Alpha or a Beta, nor a high ranked wolf in the community. The bond isn't as connected to his wolf as it is with Holden. Get it?" He asks patiently.

I nod silently and sigh, placing my head in my hands, being held up by my elbows which are propped on the table.

How could this be happening to me?

How was I going to explain it to both of my mates??

~*~

I am laid in bed, wide awake with no hope of sleeping.

My mind is running over the extensive, long talk I had with the elder.

I still couldn't believe it could happen!

To me?

I had some choices to make.

Dean?

Holden?

Or both?

Could I have a secure, stable and happy relationship with both of them at the same time?

I had to tell them. They had the right to know what was going on, but I still worried that they would walk away if they knew I had another mate.

Mr Paulson had informed me that both of them could mark me and have an equal place in my heart and body.

What worried me was I had never wanted a relationship, or a mate for that matter.

Now I have two?

How was that going to work?

What if one of them proposed? Could I do that? Could I marry two wolves?

That's bigamy right?

Illegal!

What if we had children?

Who's would it be?

Who would play father and how would the child grow up with three parents?

That would be one very fucked up childhood!

I don't think I could let that happen!

How would it work?

All of it?

Sleeping arrangements?

Sex?

Decision making?

Holidays?

Couples outings and dates?

Living arrangements?

Oh fuck, I can't handle all this!

I'm getting a serious migraine!

Note to self. Thinking hurts!

I roll my eyes and pull myself out of bed. It's dark, 2.45am and I'm unable to sleep.

So, what do I do when I'm stressed? I clean and cook!

After four long hours, I have a clean flat, a chocolate cake, a loaf of bread and a banoffee pie.

My flat smells wonderful. The intoxicating scents soaking into every room.

After putting a load of clothes in the tumble dryer, I sit on the sofa and yawn, falling into exhausted slumber.

Time to sleep I guess!

"Hiya. It's me, err... Lizzie." I murmur down the phone.

"Lizzie! Hi! God I miss you beautiful." Dean sighs.

God it hurts hearing him so low. Is it the mating bond?

"Right, err... I need you to come round this evening. Holden will be here too. I need to speak to you." I rush out.

I am greeted with a huff and then silence.

I bite my lip nervously, take a deep breath and force myself to speak.

"Dean, it's important. I need you both here. You both deserve to know what is going on. Please?" My voice turns to a whisper by the end.

I hear Dean sigh and give in. "Ok sweetie. What time?"

Smiling, I tell him when and hang up the phone.

I am so nervous, I'm shaking.

I keep myself busy and clean the flat again, spending as long as I can scrubbing the cooker and hobs to the point that my arms ache. I know I'm going to pay for it later.

The day passes so slowly, every minute feels like an hour.

By the time it's 5pm, I am exhausted and my eyelids are drooping.

After a strong coffee and four caffeine tablets, I take a cool shower and get ready. I put on a pair of combat shorts, a tight fitting Bullet for my Valentine t-shirt and a pair of trainer socks.

My hair is dried and straightened, hanging long and low, just below my breasts.

Taking a deep breath, I wander into the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and a large glass, pouring it to the brim.

As I sink almost half, I start to relax.

I am beyond nervous, imagining the worst will happen.

They're both going to leave me.

I'm going to be left mateless.

Or they'll make me choose.

How the hell can I choose between my two mates?

I can't!

I just can't!

It's an impossible scenario.

I can't reject one of my mates!

That's condemning them to death!

It's the most painful experience on this planet!

I gulp down the rest of my wine trying to rid my freak out.

"I can do this. I can do this." I repeat under my breath over and over again.

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of confusion and despair!

My head is just above water but I'm slowly sinking!

I watch as the clock ticks closer to 6pm, the time my mates are due.

I just sit there in silence, my eyes darting from the clock to the darkening sky out of the window.

"Please, please let this go ok! Please! I beg you to give my mates patience and understanding. Give me strength and support to help them through this! I will do anything! I will donate to charity, I will quit drinking! I will do anything! I will give up my life to make these men happy, so please, please give me this! This chance..." I whisper up at the stars, hoping somebody, maybe my parents are looking down and listening.

I feel my eyes sting as my tears force their way out.

I rest my head in my hands and sob silently, aching pain through my chest at the prospect of this talk going badly.

I jump when there is a knock at my door, and dart out of the living room, down the hallway and swing the door open sharply.

I look into the eyes of the two men stood at my door, who are giving each other dirty sideways glances.

I sigh and step to the side. "Come in you two." I whisper.

Watching them glide in, making their way into my living room, I decide I need to get this over and done with.

I shut the door and walk, following them into the living room and sit on the oak wood coffee table while Holden and Dean sit at either side of the large leather sofa.

"Why did you ask us both here?" Holden asks.

"Yeah? What's going on, Lizzie?" Dean questions.

I take a deep calming breath, and look up at the painted canvas above them on the wall. A beautiful woodland scene, the greens and browns complimenting each other perfectly.

It's calming and helps me deal with the issue at hand.

My wolf is bounding around in my head at the prospect of both of our mates being so close.

"You're both my mates." I state blandly.

"What?"

"It can't be!"

"It's impossible!"

"That just doesn't happen!"

"I can't believe this shit!"

"Holy fuck!"

I stay quiet as they wrap their heads around the news.

"Lizzie! Seriously? Is this true?" Dean asks, a scared tone to his voice.

I nod, still staying silent.

"Can you just explain this! You can't just say that and then keep quiet!" Holden snaps.

I swallow hard, still staring at canvas. "I went to the county Elder, Mr Paulson. I asked for his advice. We discussed the matter in depth because of how much I feel for the pair of you, and the feelings my wolf and I get around you. I couldn't understand what was going on."

We discussed literally everything. "Supposedly it has happened. Twice had Mr Paulson witnessed this same situation, and there is a lot of research into the matter."

"I have two mates, and it happens to be both of you." I say, pointing to them.

"What are we supposed to do about it?" Dean asks. "You need to choose between us?"

I shrug. "I could, but I can also mate both of you and we can share a life as a... a kind of threesome? I know it's weird, and unconve-"

"A threesome?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" Holden snaps, standing up. Anger evident in his shaking features, his eyes pitch black.

I sigh and bow my head, looking at the cream carpet. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault. You can reject me if you want." I whisper, once again tearing up.

"I- I- I don't know what to do!" Holden sighs, running his fingers through his messy brown hair.

"I'm so fucking confused." Dean groans.

"I'll understand if you reject me. I haven't put you guys in an easy position. You can go if you want. I am so sorry." The tears are now streaming freely as my wolf and I whimper in pain.

Both of them leave, and I fall to the floor on my knees sobbing; pain lancing through my chest.

I slip on my side and curl into a ball, and scream loudly.

That's where I lose consciousness.

I can't handle it anymore.

I want to die.

I think I actually might with the excruciating pain radiating from my heart.