The thing about dying is that you get really good at pretending you're not.

I pressed my palm against the rough bark of the pine tree, steadying myself as another wave of dizziness rolled through me. The forest around our camp blurred at the edges, my vision swimming like I'd had too much whiskey even though I hadn't touched a drop in weeks. My body couldn't process alcohol anymore. Couldn't process much of anything except the curse slowly eating me from the inside out.

Five years. Five years since Raven Blackwood stood in front of three hundred wolves and ripped our mate bond apart like it meant nothing. Five years of waking up with silver veins creeping further across my skin, of coughing blood into my hands and hiding the evidence before anyone could see. Five years of telling myself I was fine, that I'd survived worse, that I didn't need a mate or a pack or anyone.

I was a terrible liar, even to myself.

"Lyx, you good?" Sage's voice cut through the afternoon quiet, and I straightened quickly, dropping my hand from the tree. My best friend emerged from between the tents we'd set up in this clearing, her auburn hair pulled back in a messy bun, laptop tucked under one arm. She had that look on her face, the one that said she knew exactly what I was doing and wasn't buying my bullshit for a second.

"Perfect," I said, injecting brightness into my voice that I absolutely didn't feel. "Just checking the perimeter. Making sure we're secure."

Sage stopped a few feet away, brown eyes narrowing as she studied me. Twenty-two years old and she could read me better than anyone alive. It was annoying as hell. "You're sweating and it's fifty degrees out. Your hands are shaking. And you've got that look you get right before you pass out and try to convince me it was just low blood sugar."

"I don't have a look."

"You absolutely have a look." She set her laptop on a nearby stump and crossed her arms. "How bad is it today? Scale of one to ten."

I wanted to tell her three, maybe four. Wanted to downplay it like I always did, keep her from worrying, keep the carefully constructed normalcy of our little rogue pack intact. But the truth was sitting at about an eight, maybe higher, and the concerned furrow between her brows told me she already knew.

"I'm managing," I said instead, which was both true and completely inadequate. I'd been managing for five years. Managing the pain, managing the symptoms, managing the slow countdown to an expiration date I refused to acknowledge out loud. Three months, the last healer had told me when I'd finally broken down and seen one. Three months unless the bond is completed. I'd walked out before she could finish explaining what that meant, because I already knew. It meant crawling back to Raven Blackwood and begging him to fix what he'd broken. It meant admitting he'd won.

I'd rather die. I was choosing to die, actually, and some days that felt like the biggest rebellion of all.

Sage took a step closer, voice dropping. "Lyx, we need to talk about options. Real options. Not this pretending everything's fine while you slowly fade away thing you've got going on."

"There are no other options." My voice came out sharper than I intended, echoing through the trees. Two of our pack members, Marcus and Jen, looked up from where they were sorting supplies near the main tent. I forced a smile and waved, the picture of their fearless leader who definitely had everything under control. They went back to work, and I lowered my voice. "You know what it would take to break this curse. You know what I'd have to do."

"Accept the bond with Raven," Sage said quietly. "Let him complete the claiming. Stop being so fucking stubborn and let someone help you."

The sound of his name sent a physical jolt through me, sharp and electric, like touching a live wire. The mate bond wasn't completely severed, just damaged, just broken enough to kill me slowly while keeping me tethered to a male who'd made it clear I wasn't worth keeping. Every full moon I felt him, a pull in my chest that pointed north toward Shadowfang territory. Every full moon I ignored it and hated myself a little more for how hard ignoring it had become.

"He rejected me in front of everyone," I said, and even five years later the memory had teeth. "Called me weak. Unworthy. He doesn't get to swoop in and play hero now just because his guilty conscience can't handle being a murderer."

Sage opened her mouth to respond, but the words died as a howl split the air. Not one of ours. The sound came from the eastern ridge, long and threatening, and every wolf in camp went still. I felt it more than heard it, the aggressive intent behind the call, the promise of violence in every note.

"That's Bloodmoon Pack," Marcus called out, already shifting into a defensive stance. His eyes had gone golden, wolf rising to the surface. "That's Crimson's hunters."

Ice flooded my veins, sharp and clarifying. Thaddeus Crimson. The name alone was enough to make my wolf snarl with recognition and fear. He'd been sending scouts into neutral territory for weeks, sniffing around our borders, but he'd never been bold enough to announce himself like this. Hunters meant an actual hunting party. It meant he was done watching.

"Everyone inside the wards," I commanded, my voice steady despite the spike of adrenaline. "Now. Sage, get the kids to the safe house. Marcus, Jen, you're with me."

The camp exploded into controlled chaos as my pack moved with practiced efficiency. We'd drilled for this, planned for the day someone would come for us. For me. Because that's what this was about. Thaddeus didn't give a shit about a small rogue pack squatting in neutral territory. He wanted something specific, and I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what.

Sage grabbed my arm before I could move toward the tree line. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Stupid is my brand," I said, trying for levity and missing by a mile. Another howl echoed through the forest, closer this time, and shadows moved between the trees. Too many shadows. Too many wolves. "Get everyone safe. That's an order."

She hesitated, then squeezed my arm once before disappearing toward the cluster of tents where our youngest members were already gathering. I turned toward the ridge, toward the hunters closing in, and felt my wolf surge forward with a viciousness that should have scared me. Maybe it would have, before the curse. Before I'd already accepted that I was dying. Now it just felt like freedom. If Thaddeus Crimson wanted me, he was going to have to earn every fucking inch.

The first wolf broke through the tree line, massive and rust-colored, lips pulled back in a snarl that showed too many teeth. Behind him, at least a dozen more emerged from the forest, fanning out in a semicircle that cut off our escape routes. They moved with military precision, trained hunters who knew exactly what they were doing.

And standing at the center of the pack, still in human form with that same predatory smile I remembered from five years ago, was Thaddeus Crimson himself.

"Hello, little silver wolf," he said, voice carrying across the clearing. "We need to talk about your bloodline, and why you're going to come with me quietly."

I'd imagined killing Thaddeus Crimson approximately seven hundred times in the last five years, and none of my fantasies had been quick or merciful.

"I don't do anything quietly," I said, letting my wolf rise to the surface just enough that my eyes shifted to silver. The change always hurt these days, like my body was protesting the transformation it was built for, but I'd learned to hide the pain behind a smile that showed teeth. "But I'm happy to discuss my bloodline right before I rip out your throat."

Thaddeus laughed, the sound echoing across the clearing in a way that made my skin crawl. He looked exactly the same as he had five years ago at that gathering where my life had imploded. Tall and broad-shouldered, with dark hair going silver at the temples and eyes the color of old amber. Handsome, if you ignored the cruelty that lived in every line of his face. He wore expensive clothes like armor, tailored black pants and a shirt that probably cost more than everything my pack owned combined.

"Still so much fire," he said, taking a step forward. His wolves moved with him, a synchronized threat that tightened the noose around our camp. "I've always admired that about you, Lyrix. Even as a teenager, you had this spark. This defiance. It's what makes your bloodline so valuable." He tilted his head, studying me like I was a particularly interesting specimen under glass. "Tell me, does Raven Blackwood know you're dying? Does he feel it through that broken bond you're both still clinging to?"

The mention of Raven sent a sharp pulse through my chest, the damaged mate bond flaring with something between pain and recognition. I shoved it down, buried it deep where it couldn't distract me. "What I do or don't tell Raven is none of your business. Actually, everything about me is none of your business. So why don't you take your hunting party and get the fuck off my territory before I make you regret showing your face here."

"Your territory?" Thaddeus raised an eyebrow. "This is neutral land, little wolf. No pack, no protection, no rules. Which means I can do whatever I want." He gestured to his wolves, and they fanned out wider, moving to flank our camp from multiple angles. "I'm going to make this very simple. You come with me now, willingly, and I let your little collection of broken strays live. You fight me, and I kill every single one of them while you watch."

Marcus growled low in his throat beside me, his body coiled tight and ready to spring. Jen had shifted partially, claws extending from her fingertips, her breathing controlled despite the fear I could smell rolling off her in waves. They were loyal and brave and completely outmatched. Thaddeus had brought at least fifteen hunters, all of them trained killers from one of the most brutal packs in North America. My pack had eight wolves total, and three of them were barely out of adolescence.

The math was simple and devastating.

"Why?" I asked, buying time while my mind raced through options that all ended badly. "Why now? You've known where I was for months. You've had scouts watching us. Why come for me today?"

"Because you're running out of time." Thaddeus's smile sharpened. "The rejection curse is accelerating. I can smell it on you, that sweet rot of a bond dying. Another few weeks and you'll be too weak to be useful to me. So I'm collecting my asset before it depreciates further."

Asset. The word landed like a slap, reducing everything I was to a thing he could own and use. My wolf snarled, wanting blood, wanting to tear into him and make him pay for every threat, every violation, every moment of fear he'd caused. But charging him would be suicide, and more importantly, it would get my pack killed.

I'd built this family from nothing. Taken in the wolves no one else wanted, the ones who'd been rejected or exiled or broken by packs that saw them as disposable. Sage, who'd been cast out for being too weak despite her brilliant mind. Marcus, who'd lost his entire family to a pack war and had nowhere else to go. Jen, who'd been labeled a troublemaker for questioning her Alpha's orders. These wolves trusted me to protect them, and I'd be damned if I let Thaddeus Crimson murder them because I was too proud to surrender.

"If I go with you," I said slowly, hating every word, "you leave them alone. Completely. No retaliation, no hunting them down later, no using them as leverage. They're free and clear."

"Lyx, no." Sage's voice cut through the clearing, sharp with panic. She'd appeared at the edge of the safe house, laptop abandoned, eyes wide with understanding of what I was about to do. "Don't you dare. We'll fight. We'll find another way."

"There is no other way," I said, keeping my eyes on Thaddeus. "Not one where you all survive."

"How noble," Thaddeus purred. "The dying wolf sacrificing herself for her pack. It's almost touching." He pulled something from his pocket, a silver collar that gleamed in the afternoon light. Suppressor magic radiated from it, the kind of enchantment that would cut me off from my wolf completely. "Put this on and come quietly. Your pack lives. You have my word as an Alpha."

The word of an Alpha was binding, woven into the magic that governed pack law. If he gave his word and broke it, he'd lose his power, his pack, everything. It was the only real guarantee I'd get, and we both knew it.

I took a step forward, and Marcus grabbed my arm. "There has to be another option. We can run. We can fight. We can..."

"Die," I finished quietly, meeting his desperate gaze. "We can die. All of us. Is that what you want?"

His hand dropped, and the defeat in his eyes nearly broke me. I turned back to Thaddeus, chin lifted, shoulders back, every inch of me radiating defiance even as I walked toward my own capture. The collar felt like ice in my hands when he passed it to me, the suppressor magic crawling across my skin with oily wrongness.

"Good girl," Thaddeus said, and I wanted to claw his eyes out.

I was lifting the collar to my throat when the howl split the air. Different from before. Deeper. More powerful. The sound bypassed my ears entirely and went straight to my chest, to the damaged mate bond that suddenly flared to agonizing life. Every wolf in the clearing froze, including Thaddeus's hunters, their bodies responding to an Alpha command that transcended pack loyalty.

The forest exploded with movement as wolves poured through the tree line, larger and more disciplined than Crimson's hunters, their formation precise and deadly. Shadowfang warriors. At least thirty of them. And at their center, moving with lethal grace and eyes burning gold with fury, was Raven Blackwood.

He looked at me, then at the collar in my hands, and something feral took over his expression.

"If you put that collar on," he said, voice low and absolutely wrecked, "I will burn down every territory between here and the ocean until there's nothing left but ash and memory."

The last time I'd seen Raven Blackwood, I was nineteen years old and bleeding from the eyes while my body tried to survive a rejection that should have killed me instantly.

Five years had changed him. He was bigger now, broader through the shoulders and chest, his body honed into something lethal and unforgiving. Dark hair fell across his forehead, longer than he'd worn it before, and his face had lost whatever softness youth had given him. He looked like what he was: a pure-blood Alpha in his prime, dangerous and uncompromising, the kind of wolf that made others submit on instinct alone.

He also looked like he hadn't slept in about a century.

"Blackwood." Thaddeus's voice had gone cold, all pretense of civility vanishing. "This is neutral territory. You have no authority here."

"I have every authority where my mate is concerned." Raven's eyes never left mine, and the mate bond between us pulled taut, vibrating with five years of damage and longing and rage. His warriors had formed a wall between Crimson's hunters and my pack, effectively cutting off any chance of violence. For now. "And what I'm concerned about right now is why she's holding a suppressor collar and you're standing close enough for me to rip your head off."

"Your mate?" I found my voice, though it came out sharper than I intended. The collar was still in my hands, cold and wrong, and I dropped it like it had burned me. "You rejected me. In front of everyone. You don't get to show up five years later and claim that title."

Something cracked in his expression, a flash of pain so raw it stole my breath. But it was gone in an instant, replaced by that impenetrable Alpha mask. "We need to talk. Privately."

"We need to do absolutely nothing." I crossed my arms, hyper-aware of every wolf watching this disaster unfold. My pack looked confused and terrified. Crimson's hunters looked ready to attack at the first opportunity. Raven's warriors looked like they were waiting for an order to commit murder. The tension was so thick I could taste it, metallic and sharp. "You need to take your warriors and leave. I was handling this."

"Handling it?" Raven's voice dropped to something dangerous. "You were about to collar yourself and walk into captivity with a male who's been hunting you for years. That's your definition of handling it?"

"I was saving my pack."

"You were committing suicide." He took a step forward, and every one of his warriors moved with him, a synchronized show of force that made Crimson's hunters tense. "Do you have any idea what he wants with you? What he'd do once he got you alone?"

"I'm aware, thanks. I'm also aware that you showing up here doesn't change anything. Thaddeus still wants me. My pack is still in danger. And I still don't trust you as far as I can throw you." The mate bond flared again, protesting my words, trying to pull me toward him. I ignored it like I'd been ignoring it for five years. "So unless you have an actual solution, you're just making this worse."

Raven's jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. For a long moment he just stared at me, and I stared back, refusing to be the first one to look away. The air between us crackled with everything we weren't saying, five years of hurt and anger and that damned bond that wouldn't let either of us forget what we'd lost.

"I have a solution," he said finally. "You and your pack come to Shadowfang territory. Under my protection. Crimson can't touch you there."

Thaddeus laughed, the sound ugly. "You think pack territory will stop me? I have allies, Blackwood. Three other Alphas who'd be happy to help me remove you from power."

"Then let them try." Raven's eyes flashed gold, his wolf rising to the surface. "But they'll have to go through me first. And I promise you, Crimson, I'm not the same Alpha I was five years ago." He shifted his attention back to me, and his expression softened just slightly. "Lyrix. Please. Let me protect you."

The please nearly undid me. I'd never heard Raven Blackwood say that word to anyone, never heard him ask instead of command. It felt wrong and intimate and far too close to the male I'd known for one perfect night before everything shattered.

"I don't need your protection," I said, but even I could hear how weak it sounded. "I've survived five years without you. I'll survive this too."

"You're dying." The words fell between us like stones. "I can feel it through the bond. Every day you're getting weaker. Every day the curse digs deeper. You have what, three months? Less?" His hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Come to Shadowfang. Let me help you. Let me fix what I broke."

"You can't fix this." My voice cracked despite my best efforts. "You rejected me. You called me weak and unworthy in front of everyone. You destroyed me, Raven. Some things can't be fixed."

"I know." The raw honesty in those two words hit harder than any declaration could have. "I know what I did. I know what it cost you. But I also know that if you die because you're too stubborn to accept help, I will lose the only thing in this world that matters to me."

Sage appeared at my elbow, her presence grounding. She looked between me and Raven, then at the two groups of hostile wolves surrounding us. "Lyx, we need to make a decision. Fast. This situation is about two seconds from turning into a bloodbath."

She was right. Thaddeus looked ready to attack despite being outnumbered. His hunters were coiled tight, waiting for his signal. And Raven's warriors looked equally prepared to turn this clearing into a killing field. My pack was caught in the middle, vulnerable and scared.

I thought about the collar in the dirt at my feet. Thought about going with Thaddeus and whatever nightmare he had planned. Thought about the curse eating me alive, the silver veins spreading further every day, the blood I coughed up every morning that I hid from everyone.

Thought about Raven's eyes five years ago when he'd destroyed our bond, and the way those same eyes looked at me now.

"If I come to Shadowfang," I said slowly, "my entire pack comes with me. They get full protection, full rights, no questions asked. And I don't stay in your house. I don't sleep under your roof. I don't owe you anything beyond accepting asylum."

"Done." Raven didn't even hesitate. "Whatever you need. Whatever keeps you safe."

"One more thing." I met his gaze and let him see every ounce of hurt and anger I'd been carrying. "You don't get to act like we're mates. You don't get to touch me or claim me or pretend that bond means anything. You rejected me. That doesn't just go away because it's suddenly convenient for you."

Something shattered behind his eyes, but he nodded. "Understood."

Thaddeus snarled, his control finally snapping. "You think running to Blackwood will save you? I'll have you eventually, little wolf. One way or another."

Raven moved so fast I barely saw it. One second he was standing ten feet away, the next he had Thaddeus by the throat, claws extended, eyes fully gold. "If you come near her again," he said, voice dropping to something inhuman, "I will make your death last for days. Weeks. I will carve away pieces of you until there's nothing left but screaming and regret. Do we understand each other?"

Thaddeus couldn't speak with Raven's hand around his windpipe, but he managed a jerky nod. Raven released him with a shove that sent the older Alpha stumbling backward.

"Get off my land," Raven commanded, and the Alpha power in those words made every wolf in the clearing drop their eyes in submission. Every wolf except me. I'd stopped being able to submit to him the day he rejected me. "Take your hunters and leave. If I see any of you near neutral territory again, I'll consider it an act of war."

Thaddeus gathered his wolves and melted back into the forest, but not before shooting me one last look that promised this wasn't over.

When they were gone, the clearing felt too quiet and too full at the same time. Raven turned to me, expression careful. "Pack your camp. My warriors will escort you to Shadowfang. You'll be safe there."

"Will I?" I asked, the question carrying more weight than just physical safety.

His expression broke, just for a second, showing me the male underneath the Alpha. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make sure you are."