'Nancy, you ate always asking me about my boyfriend Bryan. You know about him but you have never spoken about your boyfriend. Why are you being so secretive about him?' Anna asked Man y in the course of their chat. She had deliberately refrained from asking other personal questions like her pregnancy but she had felt the subject of a boyfriend was a safe topic to discuss so she was surprised at Nancy's pallor. She had gone quite pale.

'What did I say wrong? You should not be ashamed to talk about your relationship with me, I assumed we were friends and could at least share that much with each other.And You are an adult and I am not your mother to scold you for having a boyfriend and I promise I won't be judgmental,I have mine remember?'

But as Nancy continued to keep quiet and her paleness increased, Anna became alarmed.

'I am sorry if you do not want to tell me about him. You must have your reasons. I am sorry I asked. It is just that you have always shared in my happiness and I wanted to reciprocate'. she explained.

Nancy eventually found her voice.

'No Anna, that is not so. It's just that I am not yet ready to talk about it. It is a sore topic for me', she said.

'Oh, I'm sorry. I should have known, if it were a happy topic for you, you would have spoken about it long ago. But I was so caught up in my happiness with Bryan that I had not noticed. You should not talk about it if it makes you feel bad remembering it but in my experience, it is better to talk about it and ease yourself of such a burden If you had been badly hurt, then it would facilitate your healing. No body is worth causing you so much pain such as I have seen in your eyes and you are still giving him that right by dwelling in and feeding the pain with your bitterness. I am not trying to force you to do what you do not want to do but the earlier you talk about it and deal with it by facing the demons haunting you,the earlier you shall be free of them. I am speaking not as a colleague now but as a close friend and confidant of yours'.

'Ues, I know that but what do you know of such heartbreak and pain? You are in your own world basking in the love and attention of Bryan and soon you will be his wife. You do not know what others who are not as lucky as you are to find true love or a sincere companion have to pass through'. Nancy said sadly.

Anna looked at her and read more from her words than Nancy had intended

She was full of pity for her but the she still believed that the earlier she got over that hurt, the better it would be for Nancy.

'That is where you are wrong. You asked me the other day about our boss and I told you of his experience. Yours could never have been that bad, your best friend eloping with your wife or in this case your husband and nearly causing you to go bankrupt. He nearly died of the pain and the double betrayal he felt because the one person in the world who would have given him comfort as his friend and confidant was also a participant in the betrayal tearing his heart and sould apart.

And me, you think that I have not had my own share of disappointments and heartbreaks? Oh I can assure you that I have had them but I do not allow them cloud my joy or my life. Life goes on. The person who had hurt you this badly must have gone on with his life and you are deriving yourself of joy and laughter by continually dwelling on the hurt and you feel that he is worth it? Your happiness is yours and yours alone and no one has the right to take that from you except you give them the permission'

'You mean you have been hurt before?' Nancy asked unable to believe it. The petite lady looked like someone who had it all and had not felt pain before.

'Yes I have and not once but three times but have I allowed it stop me from being happy? No, it hasn't and neither should you. My failed love stories are a topic for another day, we have to get our boss prepared for his midday appointment but please be happy and forget about any villain that does not know your worth'', Anna advised.

Nancy smiled. She felt better after this chat with Anna and she was right. It was just that it pained her to see that her child was going to be born illegitimate. Without knowing her father though truth be told,he or she was better off without someone like Robert as their father.

She felt wet drops on her cheek and realised that she had been crying. She smiled through her tears as she wiped her tears off her cheek.

'Thank you so much. It has been a relief speaking with you. I fell better already. I shall definitely tell you about this some other time but for now, duty calls'.

Anna smiled sympathetically and patted her shoulder understandingly.

They went about their duties and Nancy forgot about her problems as she lost herself in her work and typing but when her workload reduced, she remembered that she had been just as happy or even happier than Anna was with her boyfriend Bryan. She had felt that she had it all. A good education, a promising career, a handsome rich man who loved her passionately and a blissful married life in the future with him but all that had been a lie. Robert had shown his real colours when she had told him of her pregnancy.

She remembered how heartbroken she had been when he had started avoiding her and not picking her calls. It had started when he had asked her to abort the pregnancy.

'You have to terminate the pregnancy. You should have been more careful in the first instance', he had said to her shocked disbelief.

'I am not hearing this! Are you blaming me for this? Did I get myself pregnant all by myself?'

'No but you should have known better than to have allowed it. We just started being intimate and you have already ruined it with this pregnancy!' he said furiously.

'By your words, I should take it that you are not happy about the baby then?'

'You ate right, I am not!' he stormed.

'But why is that, you said you loved me and I love you too, very much. What could be bad about the pregnancy then?

'Everything. For one, I am not ready for it now and neither are you'.

'Says who? I am ready if you are ready. This is a part of you and a part of me. It is the symbol of our love. We should cherish it and not kill it. We were going to get married afterall, so what if we have to do it earlier than we had planned, it is still for our good, don't you think'.

The look in his eyes had been enough to strangle her and Nancy had taken a few steps back.She had been holding him pleadingly. Not understanding what the problem was. If they loved each other the way she was sure that they did, what was the harm in getting married sooner to give their baby a home? She had been gloriously happy when she had found out that she was pregnant but why was Robert reacting this way? He was acting as though.... no it couldn't be. Robert loved her and the news of her pregnancy must have come as a surprise to him and everybody reacted to surprises in different ways.

'Robert, I am aware that the news has come as a surprise to you. You had been taken unawares and so have I but it is a good news nonetheless. Pull yourself together and let's reason this out. What are you so afraid of?'

'I am not afraid of anything!'

'Then what is it? You have the money to care for me and our baby. You and I are both adults and in love. What is there to stop us getting married? You can definitely not be unsure of my love for you are you?' Nancy asked perplexed.

Robert had kept silent. And then brought out his wallet and drawn out some amount of money.

'Here, take this.It should cover the expenses for the abortion. If you need more, let me know. But do it quick before it becomes too late. By the time I call you this evening, I want to hear you tell me that you have successfully terminated this pregnancy. We need to get to know each other more before welcoming any pregnancy'.

Nancy could have been blown down by a feather as she stared at him, with her mouth agape.

'Take it!' he commanded and she came out of her stupor.

'I won't!'

'And why not? You have enough money for the D&C?'

'I don't but I won't take this money from you because I shan't be aborting this baby'.

'But you must!'

'I won't!'

'If you do not do it, then consider this relationship over!'

'What did you say?'

'This relationship is over if you will not terminate this pregnancy!'

Nancy had thought she had heard it all but this was as shocking as it was brutal.

'She decided to change her approach, trying to make him see her point of view. Most probably, he was reacting this way because he felt that she was trying to impose the pregnancy on him or force him into marriage before he was ready.

'Darling', she started, 'Think about it. The baby is the symbol of our love. You had asked us to be intimate even when I had not wanted to. But I did to prove love to you and I must assure you that I do not regret it. But now that it has turned out this way,we have to be mature about it and do the right thing. And the right thing is not ending the life of an innocent baby that never begged to be conceived in the first instance. If you are not ready for marriage just yet, then I will understand but please don't make me kill this bundle of joy. It is a part of you and how can I kill a part of someone I love dearly? We shall get married whenever you want but we shall not get rid of this baby. Please try to understand'.

While speaking, she had held his hands, looking into his eyes with love and plea but he pushed her away and the shocked pain in her eyes was a sight to behold.

He wished that she had had an abortion as she fell but there had been no such luck but he knew that the fall from his push must have caused her immense pain both physically and emotionally and he derived an immense pleasure from it and his face transformed from fury to a devilish smile. Nancy went white seeing his smile and he caught but recollected himself and decided to take a softer approach with her.

He went to her, pulled her up and spoke gently to her.

'Oh, honey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to push you and definitely not that hard. Hope you were not injured? please forgive me'.

He made her sit down, trying hard to hide his impatience. He was really running out of patience with this foolish girl. He had just wanted to have fun with her but she had gone and got herself pregnant. Did she think that she could trap him that way?

'You see, I might be travelling on a business trip like I usually do and you know that these trips take months before I return. I do not want to leave you alone. Pregnancy is not a time to leave you alone to fend for yourself. Who will take care of you while I am gone?'

'My parents!'

He waved away her answer impatiently.

'No. I do not want that. You will become pregnant again when we are ready for it but not before and that is why you should get rid of it. I have left the money on the bedside table. Do it before I call this evening. That will make me immensely happy and I know you want to see me happy right?' he asked and Nancy shook her head mechanically, barely aware of what was going on around her. Her brain was processing the information she was receiving but her heart was denying it. She remained in a state of denial even after he left her promising to call her back that evening.

'Nancy. Nancy? Are you okay?'

Nancy was brought back to the present by Anna calling out her name.

Nancy blinked. She had been relieving the experience of having to convince Robert in vain to accept her pregnancy. It still shock her but she had other things to do and could not afford dwelling on the past or on what happened afterwards.

Nancy decided to speak to her boss concerning the accommodation he had earlier offered. She had thought that he would repeat the offer but he had not, leaving her to chose the way she wanted to live and where.

Her pride had been in the way and she had resisted giving in and had even thought of renting her own little apartment but she knew that she would spend have to spend some good money to get a passable place, if the amount she was paying in her hell hole was any indication.

She felt that it would be wiser keeping all the money she could for her baby's upkeep when she eventually had him or her. She hoped it would be a girl because she didn't want a boy. They were known to be very troublesome but girls were adorable and she would protect her from this cruel world and teach her never to be too trusting especially of the male folk.

That day, after telling her boss the appointments awaiting him for the day, she decided to speak to him.

'Sir, I would like to have a word with you', she said.

If Jason was surprised, he did not show it but he did wonder what she wanted to talk to him about. Had she got another place she would rather work or had the run away lover decided to take responsibility?

'You can come into my office because from the tone of your voice it sounds like something you would like to discuss in private', he deduced.

'You are right sir. I will come right away', she said and arranged her desk to look tidy before knocking on the adjourning door and walking briskly in.

It was already the end of the month and Anna had left her to carry out the duties herself, as agreed though Jason had been skeptical. Not because he doubted her capability but because he didn't want her doing too much and hence stressing herself in her delicate condition. But Nancy had been too stubborn and he had given in, believing that she would soon of her own Accord ask Anna's help again when the time came.

'Good morning sir, I, well... you see...'

She did not know how to start it. Her pride was still holding her back brut she thought of all the explanations that had led her to the decision to take him up on his offer and gained courage. Meanwhile, Jason was busy looking at her, not knowing why she was flustered. He was sure his assumption that she was about to leave the establishment or her lover had decided to stand by her as a man was the cause. He decided he was not going to make it easy for her. So he just stared at her while she struggled to get the words out.

'Well sir, you did say that I could come live in your staff quarters ', she blurted expecting him to affirm the statement but he did no such thing just continued to stare at her and she started thinking that she may just have made a mistake and the accommodation was no longer available.

'I was wondering if the quarters is still vacant or is it no longer available?'

Jason was surprised at the question.This meant that she had decided to take the up his offer. But he did not even flinch.

'It depends. Why do you ask?'

'Well, it is already end of the month and the greedy landlord is already asking for the rent of the following month. I felt that it would be better taking up the quarters you offered than paying him to stay in that slum. Moreover, like you have rightly said, I could use the money for something else and I felt that I would rather pay you the rent than the man

He had even annoying lately, making slide and lascivious remarks at me.

I felt too that it would be a waste of time and energy looking for a good place that would also be close to my work place so that I do not go late to work or spend extra money on transport's, she said and took a deep breath.

She wanted him to know that she had considered all the available avenues open to her before reaching the decision to live in his quarters so that he didn't think that she was accepting charity from him because she would never do that.

'So you are saying?' Jason asked wanting her to come out plain with the request.

'That I would like to park in, if it is still available and if you would have me', she said humbly.

'Of course it is still available and if I didn't want you to have it, I would not have offered now, would I? At the close of work today, you can come with me to see the place and decide when you would like to park in, is that okay?'

'Very! Thank you so much for being this considerate' she said happy that she had got it off her chest.

Jason waved off her thanks dismissing her and she went back into her own office happy that she would live in a better place from thence onwards.

The rest of the day went quickly. When she saw, Anna, she told her what the outcome of her discussion with their boss was and she was happy for Nancy.

'You see? Was it that hard and did it make you any smaller than you are to accept help from someone who had willingly and wholeheartedly offered?'

Nancy smiled and Anna continued,

'I am really happy for you. Even after you had given birth,there will be people around you to care for both you and your baby because no matter how strong you think you are, you will definitely need help'.

At the shocked expression on Nancy's face, she wondered what she had said wrong and rembered that Nancy had not told her of her pregnancy and must be wondering how she knew.

'You know?'

'Of course I do. I am a woman, remember? I have been there. My only regret is that I was not bold enough to keep it the way you are doing'.

There was a fleeting look of pain in her eyes which could not have been a mere pretence but which disappeared almost immediately as Anna smiled wistfully.

'But like I said, that is a story for another day. Now, we should talk about how to get your things to the place because forget about seeing the place first, you are going to like the place. It would definitely be far better than where you are currently living. Though I have not been there but I can guess'.

'Nancy knew that she was right and remembering that anguish she had seen pass fleetingly in her eyes,she also recalled Anna telling her that she had been hurt several times but that had not made her give up on life or on love.

She felt pity for the girl she had come to consider not just a friend but a sister and wondered what pain Anna had had to go through before finally finding joy with Bryan. She sincerely hoped it worked for her this time because she would not want her to be hurt again.

'You are right. But since the boss has offered, I shall have to go and see just for formality sake and then tell him when I shall move in', she told Anna.