EXT. B.LUCKY WORLD THEME PARK – DAY

A few children run around what looks like a giant lagoon, but it's a man-made pool of water. One Child has a balloon shaped like the theme park's mascot, a white rabbit named "B.Lucky."

At the far end of the pool is a giant replica of an Aztec temple, with a water slide coming out of its open mouth.

We're looking at the children's legs as they run past an ominous figure whose legs are draped in all black and is slowly marching towards the pool. Those legs stop at the pool's edge, as if the figure is looking into the water.

INT. THE LAGOON – SAME

Soft music starts to play as we see the man dressed in all black, KAYE BELTRAN, from the inside of the lagoon.

His figure quivers as we're looking at him through the water. Then his shape is broken up by bubbles rising.

As the camera sinks, it passes four boys who are floating, looking unconscious in the water.

RICHARD BELTRAN, a boy of about 11 years old, opens his eyes and realizes he's drowning. He starts flailing in a panic, trying to swim up to air, but no matter how hard he tries, he can't make it.

DISSOLVE TO BLACK.

FADE IN.

Still in the water, Richard wakes up again. The music grows even slower and more warped.

From Richard's POV, we see the quivering, watery image of KAYE BELTRAN again. Now he's crouching at the edge of the pool, observing all the boys who are drowning.

Richard calls for Kaye, but only bubbles escape as he sinks deeper into the dark water.

In a last-ditch effort, Richard reaches out with all that's left in him as Kaye reaches toward him.

A bright light explodes from Kayes's hand, and the entire pool explodes in pure light. Everything else fades to white, including Richard.

INT. THE POOL – SAME

The bright white light fades as the warped-sounding music gains momentum, until it becomes a rap beat.

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY SCHOOL – DAY

Richard and the other three boys leap out of the water and onto dry land. Now, they were all teenagers wearing the school uniform for ABSOLUTION ACADEMY: School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

They stand side by side in unison, as if they were a heroic superteam ready for battle.

A mob of protestors approaches them, holding up anti-witchcraft signs and chanting angrily. The fight was on! A battle for their school and the soul of Menzai Island. A manmade island off the coast of New York. Was the Island going to be devoted to mysticism or science? The four child soldiers who guarded the school would help decide its fate.

PROTESTORS

Hell no! Witches, GO! Hell no! Witches, GO!

Suddenly, the ground trembles. The four boys almost lose their footing as a giant shadow stretches across the courtyard.

SETH BYNUM is the fearless leader of this super team. He's fearless because he's pretty much out of his mind.

There's an enchanted guitar on his back, and he swings it around and starts playing it.

SETH

Head up! A bad vibe this way comes!

The heavy stomping grows louder until a shiny, all-white, mecha robot stomps into view, towering over the protestors like divine judgment.

Inside the cockpit, teenage mech pilot, ADAM KIRAGE, grins like a televangelist with a missile launcher.

His voice booms through the loudspeaker in the cockpit of the metal beast.

ADAM

That's RIGHT! Tell these witches to hit the bricks! Menzai Island is my family's property, and we created it for real supernatural studies! Under a good, God-fearing, paranormal technologies firm called SOMNIX INCORPORATED!

ADAM

We put SCIENCE over SHRUNKEN HEADS! Join the winning team, LOSERS! All that witchcraft malarky died at the hands of science once, and it will die at the hands of science again!

Seth continues playing his guitar.

SETH

Bro loves to hear the sound of his own voice, don't he?

EDDIE BON MOON, known as "The Genius," has dreadlocks cascading from beneath aviator goggles.

Subtitles appear on the screen whenever Eddie speaks Japanese.

(The subtitles don't always match what Eddie is saying exactly; they match more "the spirit" of his words)

EDDIE

でも、彼が言ってることって本当に信じられるのかな？

科学と論理の手によって他に何が死んだんだろう？

(SUBTITLES: Though, is there any validity to what he's saying? What else died at the hands of science and logic?)

CHRISTOPHER ROBYN is the "Bad Boy/Heart Throb" of the team. He's a handsome blonde, dressed in all black with witchcraft tattoos all over his body. He likes big, far-out ideas and concepts, like soul mates and conspiracy theories.

He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth as he chuckles at the absurdity of Adam and his mecha getting the Christians riled up to protest them.

CHRIS

He's a typical rich boy putting profit over real human progress. I'm pretty sure this crackpot is of a lizard bloodline, too!

Eddie, Richard, and Seth give him confused looks.

Adam's voice crackled back through the mech's speaker.

ADAM

Hey Chris, maybe if you stopped worshiping the sun, your conspiracy theories would sound less delirious! You Idiot!

CHRIS

I do NOT worship the sun!

He blows out the rest of the smoke as he tosses the cigarette to the ground and stomps on it.

CHRIS

Anyway, that thing in the sky is not really the sun. It's a hologram made by the Chinese.

EDDIE

(blinks)

何これ？

(SUBTITLES: What the hell?)

SETH

(Chuckles)

Shut up, Chris.

Richard, now 14 and visibly older than he was in the last scene, is a former child actor. He's always confused.

RICHARD

Aww man!

Bangs his magic wand.

RICHARD

I think I broke it!

Richard leans forward to address someone next to Chris.

RICHARD

(Whines)

Professooor! Can I go get my other wand? This one's broken!

A striking figure steps forward. He has long, wavy red hair and glasses. In his hand, he holds a golden scepter.

PROFESSOR DIAZ flips the scepter into the air and points it at the protestors.

PROFESSOR DIAZ

That won't be necessary, Richard. We aren't going to get violent. No one needs to get hurt.

CHRIS

So then what was the point of us nearly drowning in that moat, trying to get the drop on them?

Professor Diaz pushes up his glasses, smiles, and then tosses his staff to Chris as he walks off.

PROFESSOR DIAZ

Drama...

Chris catches the scepter with a dumbfounded look on his face, watching Diaz abandon them to go chat with the news people.

The protesters are getting closer and louder.

PROTESTORS

Hell no, witches GO! Hell no, witches GO!

Their signs bobbed like angry confetti in the air. Adam Kirage, still perched inside his mech suit like a theologian in a tank, raises his microphone.

ADAM

And it's only right we purge the land in the name of SCIENCE... uh... I mean, THE HOLY GOD! Just look at these four! Sodom and Gomorrah, that's all I'm saying! And this is what all your children will look like if you let this ABOMINATION of magic school get built. They will all be broke-looking and stupid!

Chris snorts, and Seth rubs his eyes, exhausted.

SETH

God, just shut up, please, Adam!

Two girls suddenly run out onto the field dressed in the female version of Absolution Academy's uniform. They stand in front of the boys, their arms outstretched protectively, as if to block the males from harm.

The first girl has brown skin and facial features like Eddie's, but her hair is a thick cascade of brown and gold curls. This is PORTIA BON MOON.

PORTIA

You guys had better back up! I'm not going to let you hurt my future husband or my brother!

The other girl has neon pink hair and a few scene girl star stickers on her face. This is CIRCE BYNUM,

CIRCE

YEAH! I'm not going to let you hurt my husband, who is also my brother!

Seth twists his face.

SETH

EW! What?!

Circe turns to him.

CIRCE

Not you, idiot! I mean, our foster brother.

She blows a kiss to Richard.

RICHARD

(Grimaces)

That's still, EW!

EDDIE

And who the hell is your future husband, Portia? You better not be talking about this guy (points at Chris) who thinks the Chinese made the sun!

Portia looks over her shoulder at Chris.

PORTIA

Darling, I told you not to tell anyone about your quirky little sun theory!

Chris folds his arms and doubles down.

CHRIS

I am a man! And I say what I want to say!

ADAM (V.O.)

(Booming from the mecha)

See? Now they have cute little girls fighting for them. Women always have to fight liberals battles!

SETH

You guys are making things worse! Go join Professor Diaz, where it's safe.

CIRCE

But we want to help!

CHRIS

This is a man's job! You two skirts need to beat it!

ADAM

Yeah! Back in the kitchen, both of you!

The girls hesitate as if ignoring all the boys. Then a turkey burger hits Portia in the face.

PORTIA

HEY!

Circe gets smacked with a fully cooked hot dog.

CIRCE

They're throwing food at us?!

CHRIS

AWWW YEAH!!!

He spins the scepter with martial arts skill as he approaches the protestors.

CHRIS

BACK IT UP! BACK IT UP!

More food gets flung around, nearly hitting the boys.

CHRIS

Seth, hurry up and do something! The Sweet blood of Jesus got 'em ready to jack us up!

SETH

Right!

SETH

(Turns to the others)

You two girls, beat it! Michael Jackson style!

He does a spin and a Michael Jackson move for emphasis. Portia rolls her eyes, unimpressed, and Circe picks up the hot dog off the floor and starts eating it, as if using it to help her cope. They both finally walk away, heading to join Professor Diaz.

SETH

You three should go talk to the media and keep them busy. I am the strongest wizard here out of the four of us, and I can handle some angry protestors alone.

CHRIS

Are you crazy? If I'm not here, these people are going to crucify you!

RICHARD

(Groans)

WHAT? Not the media! Please?

EDDIE

Jigoku Kesshite!

(Subtitles: Hell-to-the-NO!)

SETH

Don't Jiggy-jew kiss-whatever me, Eddie! You, Chris, and Richard are charming; you can sell us to the media. And let's be honest, none of you are good at magic.

CHRIS

Hey! I can do this stupid magic shit as well as you can!

He pulls out another cigarette and places it between his lips. Raising his index finger, he rubs it repeatedly against the skin of his thumb until a small flame flickers to life at its tip. He leans in, using it to light his cigarette.

CHRIS

(all proud of himself)

Viola!

SETH

(Ponders him)

EDDIE

Seth, there's no way you should send me to talk to the media. Did you not notice I'm black? If you put my face in the media to represent Absolution Academy, they'll say the school got roaches and that we barbecue at lunch every day!

Chris laughs around his cigarette. Seth twists his lips, surprised by the comment.

EDDIE

If I'm the face of the school, no one rich will send their children here.

RICHARD

That's not true, Eddie! Most people are not that racist! And what's wrong with barbecue at school every day?

Whispers to himself, mystified by the concept.

RICHARD

That shit sounds turnt!

Seth gets slammed in the face with some flying spare ribs.

SETH

OW!

EDDIE

I need to be part of this attack! I know a way to get the Christians good without hurting anyone, I swear! My parents were Christians. I understand these guys.

Richard fumbles, searching for a reason to stay, but the only thing he can think of is, "The media is going to ask me questions I don’t want to answer."

Seth wipes some BBQ sauce off his face and licks his fingers.

SETH

Fine! Chris and Eddie stay. Rich, you're the actor; you can handle some reporters.

SETH

Come on, let's do this quick! I'm getting hungry.

He bends down, picks up the barbecue rib off the floor, and starts eating as he runs off towards the crowd.

Eddie and Chris shoot him a look of disgust before trailing after him, curious about what kind of home he and Circe were raised in.

Adam, still inside the mech, was ranting.

ADAM

And I want you to remember who helped lead the resistance against this hellspawn magic school! Somnix Corps, your friendly leaders in paranormal technology!

Chris raises the scepter. A long, intense stream of pink lightning shoots out from the pearl bulb atop it.

Seth hits a powerful chord on his guitar, making the lightning stream all the more intense. The lightning crackles loudly and strikes the mech's leg.

BOOM!!!

The machine tilts as fire grows from the wound. It lets loose a mechanical groan, then collapses.

The protestors scatter. Adam screams as an airbag inflates inside the crashing cockpit, saving him from serious injury.

Chris and Eddie fist-bumped. Seth chuckles.

EDDIE

Nice work, Chris!

They smile at each other.

EDDIE

If you touch my sister, I will end your life...

Chris gulps, looking as if he takes that threat seriously.

Meanwhile, Adam curses and raves from inside the wreckage.

Richard, left alone, sighs sadly. The guys always seem to be having fun together...without him. Now, he had to speak to the media all by himself. What a nightmare.

He looks over at the crowd of people apprehensively. Then gets lost for a moment in a memory that he can't quite remember...

SETH

RICH!

Richard snaps out of it and looks at Seth, who twerks his head towards the news people.

SETH

Go get 'em!

Richard rolls his eyes and groans again. But without another word, he starts sloshing over to the news people.

Food continues to fly all over the place as the camera pans to where Richard is heading. The Absolution Academy schoolhouse.

CUT TO:

INT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY – Day

Richard looks up at the high ceilings, amazed by the beauty inside the school.

A REPORTER LADY scurries behind him.

REPORTER LADY

You're Richard Beltran, aren't you? The star of that TV SHOW "Teen Jesus?"

Richard ignores her and runs around the inside of the school, admiring everything.

REPORTER LADY

No one has heard of you since you GOT FIRED from that show!

Richard pushes out a fake smile to her and then runs into the next room.

The Reporter Lady frowns and makes a "Hur-rumpf" sound. Then she motions to her cameraman like he's a henchman to get Richard.

The cameraman obediently takes the cord of his camera and uses it to trip the teen. Richard goes crashing to the floor.

RICHARD

OW!

REPORTER LADY

The people want to know–

RICHARD

Look, we're not talking about this, OK? I've put the whole issue behind me. I'm putting Hollywood as a whole behind me.

He sighs and looks up at the dome-shaped ceiling. There's a beautiful mural painted there of all kinds of ancient gods, glittering stars, and zodiac symbols made of gold.

RICHARD

I just want to live as a normal kid. And go to school with other normal kids, have normal friends, and duck my adult responsibilities with as much vigor and skill as I've ducked pedophiles in Hollywood.

As the Reporter Lady stops and considers that last line. Richard spins around, admiring the fantastic interior of the school.

RICHARD

Besides, look at this place!

He opens his arms wide, presenting the beautiful space before them.

RICHARD

It's gonna be so cool to go to school here!

REPORTER LADY

(Nods)

It is lovely.

REPORTER LADY

(Looks around)

But, all that you've said about being a normal kid in a normal school...Is this place supposed to be "Normal"?

She sighs and looks back down at him.

REPORTER LADY

All part of a new world order, I guess. Thanks to your uncle, Kaye.

She walks past Richard.

Richard stands there a bit stunned. His green eyes are wide as he remembers what he couldn't quite remember before... the water image of Kaye looking down at him as he and the other boys drown, and then the blast of light.

He snaps out of it.

RICHARD

I want to see what the guys are doing outside. There's probably windows we can look out of upstairs.

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY 3RD FLOOR WINDOWS – DAY

Richard pokes his head out of the window and sees that it's snowing.

RICHARD

WOW! Look at it!!

REPORTER LADY

(Pokes her head out)

Snow? It's August!

RICHARD

It's an illusion.

He sticks his hand out and feels snowflakes falling on his arms.

RICHARD

A very good illusion!

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY – Day

Down below is a gorgeous Christmas scene. Seth is sitting on a grand piano being played by Professor Diaz. They both appear as if they stepped out of "A Christmas Carol," with coats, scarves, and coachmen's top hats on their heads.

Chris looks like a charming holiday butler. He serves apple cider and festive cakes to the spellbound protestors.

CHRIS

(Sings)

...And for YOU, and for you! Comment allez-vous? Tres bien, et tou?

Eddie pops up behind a snowman dressed as Santa Claus with a snowball in his hand.

EDDIE

You dare attack my dojo, protestors? 雪合戦 に 備えて!!

(Subtitles: Prepare for snowball war!!)

Enchanted by the charm of the Christmas scene, the protestors' anger fades. Laughter fills the air as some throw snowballs at Eddie, getting into the game.

Even Adam Kirage sits chibi on his collapsed Mecha, sucking a candy cane as the holiday cheer continues all around him.

Seth, all grins and holiday spirit, dressed as a festive vagabond, swings his legs as he strums his magical guitar. With a twinkle in his eye, he begins to serenade the protestors with a merry tune:

SETH

I know what Christians like...

Winter snow. Less yes, more no!

Chris spins across the scene in front of Seth with his golden tray of goodies.

CHRIS

Peppermint and Hot Cocoa!

SETH

Pine Trees. Tea and cream...

Holds his hands up, smiling as he lets the snow hit his face.

SETH

Brilliant sparkling Christmas scenes!

Santa Eddie, entrenched in a snowball showdown, ducks behind a towering crucifix with Jesus on it. With a cheeky grin, he gives the camera a thumbs-up.

EDDIE

Morbid death Idolatry!

SETH

(Laughs)

All of which, as a witch, I do agree!

All of which, as a witch, there's camaraderie!

Seth runs his fingers across his guitar strings.

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY 3RD FL WINDOW – SAME

The Reporter Lady has her head out the window and watches in open-mouthed amazement.

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY FRONT YARD – SAME

Circe and Portia are with a band of Christmas carolers braving the soft snow, harmonizing hymns to the faithful from the "Rebels of Light" church.

EXT. ABSOLUTION ACADEMY 3RD FL WINDOW – SAME

Richard watches, his eyes landing on Portia and staying there for a moment. She suddenly seems more beautiful and angelic than the other singers in Richard's eyes.

REPORTER LADY

This is amazing!

RICHARD

Yep, and imagine all the great spells we'll learn once the school opens!

He notices something strange on the horizon. There was a school bus approaching.

RICHARD

More protestors?

REPORTER LADY

So what?

RICHARD

(Shakes his head)

Illusions like this are delicate. You need to build an illusion in people's minds to enchant them. The people on that school bus didn't get the buildup! They probably won't even see the illusion, and they'll wake up the people down below!

He starts waving his arms frantically out of the window, trying to get their attention.

RICHARD

SETH!! CHRIS!!...EDDIE!?

REPORTER LADY

No one can hear you from here.

He looks down, trying to figure out what to do. He pulls out that busted wand.

RICHARD

Discount magic wand will have to do.

He starts waving the wand around dramatically.

REPORTER LADY

Uh...what are you doing?

RICHARD

I'm gonna freeze that bus!

REPORTER LADY

(Squinches her face)

Are you sure that's a good idea?

RICHARD

You doubt my power, WOMAN? I'm Kaye Beltran's nephew!

He points the wand out the window.

RICHARD

Abracadabra! Chumbawamba!!

The school bus revs up and starts rushing towards the crowd below even faster.

RICHARD

DAMN IT!

CAMERA MAN

The bus is revving up!

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