No Way Back for Us

Five years after my divorce from my ex-husband, the special forces captain, I met him at the rehearsal for the All-Army Commendation Conference.

Just as the security personnel were about to check my identification, he entered and their tone warmed, "Captain Gayle, you're here too."

He nodded slightly, his gaze falling on me. "She's with me."

I politely declined, taking my pass from my pocket. "No need, I have my pass."

He looked down at the pass in my hand, silent for a moment. "Geneva, ​​after all these years, you still blame me."

I smiled, saying nothing.

My mind was already filled with the person about to receive the award; there was no room for anything else.

——

After the rehearsal, I packed the clothes I needed to pick up on my way home, slung my bag over my shoulder and turned to leave.

The early autumn wind whipped up dust and by the time I reached the camp shuttle bus stop, the sand stung my eyes.

After rubbing the sand from my eyes, I saw Gayle Romero's military-plated SUV parked in front of me.

Seeing my red eyes, his brows furrowed. "Get in, I'll give you a ride." 

"No need, I'll take the shuttle bus."

He looked me up and down, his voice softening when he noticed the bag on my shoulder. 

"How have you been these past years?" he asked.

"Very well." 

Gayle clearly didn't believe me.

"Get in, I'll give you a ride." 

The shuttle bus behind us kept honking, but he didn't budge.

Under everyone's gaze, I had no choice but to open the car door.

"Diamond Apartment," I gave the address.

The air froze for a moment, the man's voice dry.

"Why are you still living there? That area has long been designated for demolition and you live alone and..."

He hesitated.

But I knew what he wanted to say.

That was where my mother sacrificed her life. Ten years ago today, she refused to attend my wedding with Gayle.

He jumped from the tenth floor.

The back seat was spacious, but it felt too hot, so I rolled down the window.

“You’ll catch a cold if you're exposed to the wind, you should close it. If you feel hot, I’ll turn the temperature down.”

I shook my head and smiled. “I haven’t done that in a while, do as you please.” 

Silence fell in the car until his phone rang.

“Honey, is rehearsal over? Are you back?” The voice from the car stereo was familiar, yet carried an unfamiliar softness.

“I’m back. I ran into Geneva and gave her a ride.” 

There was a moment of silence on the other end, before she finally asked, “Geneva’s back?”

“It’s been so long! Why didn’t you say so sooner? We should have had a get-together with our old comrades.” 

I had known Diana for over ten years and I had never heard her speak like this.

She used to be quiet and reserved, focused only on tactical drawings. When someone with connections took her spot in the competition, she would only secretly shed tears.

It was me who smashed that person’s sand table in front of the entire company, wrote a report and filed it up the chain of command to get her spot back. 

It turned out, those who were favored really do become more vibrant.

“It was a chance encounter. She had something to do, so I came back right after dropping her off.”

Diana still tried, “A chance encounter is fate. What’s wrong with treating an old comrade to a meal?”

“Diana, stop it.”

Silence on the other end of the phone.

Gayle was always gentle when he tried to coax people, but once he had made up his mind, no one could stop him.

Diana should understand this better than I did.

The call was abruptly cut off just as the car stopped in front of the family dormitory building.

“Thank you.”

I pushed open the door to get out of the car, but he called out to me, “Geneva, ​​can I ask who the dress I picked up on the way today is for?”

“My husband.” 

The man rubbed his forehead and smiled bitterly, as if he felt that I was still being stubborn with him by saying this.