My Mother Gave My Heart to Her Enemy's Child

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My mother is a heart specialist known around the world, and once again, to avoid any appearance of favoritism, she pushed back my transplant surgery.

She even drew my HR-negative blood, the rare kind, and gave it to another little girl whose heart was failing too.

Because I'm slow, my reactions lag behind everyone else's, so it wasn't until my vision went black that I started crying and begging her.

Her face was cold, her eyes full of disgust. "I'm a cardiologist, and I'm your mother. No one understands your condition better than I do. A hundred milliliters won't hurt you."

But what I wanted to say was that this was the fifth time she'd drawn my blood in July. I really couldn't take it anymore.

The second before I passed out, I heard a nurse ask her,

"We finally have a donor heart that matches your daughter. We could schedule the surgery for tonight."

She refused without a moment's hesitation. "Daughter or not, she gets no special treatment. Give the heart to Sabrina."

"I've examined her. She can wait a little longer. Sabrina is the one who really can't."

My body was slowly going cold, and the tears kept falling.

Maybe the daughter my mother wanted was the lively, clever Sabrina.

Not a dull, slow fool like me.

My heart hurt so much my whole body was shaking, and I remembered my mother saying the painkillers would take the pain away.

I hid under the blanket, wrote a note, and fed myself one pill, then another.

But it still hurt so much. Mom, you lied to me.

My soul drifted out of my body, and I saw my mother cradling Sabrina with delight. "Sabrina, you're finally saved. We can operate tonight!"

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Sabrina's eyes went wide with joy.

Then she glanced at me, being wheeled into the ward, hidden under my blanket, and suddenly broke into loud sobs.

"No, no, I don't want the new heart. Give it to big sister Norma Fox instead. She's your daughter, she should get the best care."

There was no one at the door, but my mother's ears pricked up anyway, tense, and she rushed to explain.

"Even my own daughter gets no privileges! If anything, it means I have to be even more careful about favoritism! I compared both your cases side by side. Your condition is more serious. Even though Norma has been on the waiting list longer than you, the heart should still go to you!"

"A hospital can't go by who came first. It goes by how critical the patient is."

She stroked Sabrina's soft little cheek as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"And you're so lively and sweet. You deserve a healthy heart. Don't you want to run around on the ground like the other children?"

Sabrina's eyes filled with longing, and she clung tightly to my mother. "Thank you so much! Tomorrow I'll have my daddy bring you a banner!"

Sabrina was young but very sweet-tongued. She hadn't been here two days before she had all the nurses and my mother wrapped around her finger.

Even the head nurse, the one who thought I was the most hopelessly stupid, shook her head with regret.

"Such a lovely little girl, and she has heart failure."

But when I was admitted, all she did was frown and say, "There's an upside to being slow. At least she doesn't know pain and isn't afraid of dying."

I burst into tears right then and told her I wasn't stupid, that I could already do addition and subtraction up to ten.

And I did know pain.

My chest hurt every time, so much that I couldn't even eat the gelatin cups I loved most.

I was afraid of dying too, because I'd seen a kitten hit dead by the side of the road.

White worms grow inside your body. I didn't want to be eaten by worms.

The tears kept falling, but my mother noticed none of it.

She just glanced back at me with disgust. "Heartless, just as I thought. She can even sleep through this."

She gave the blanket a hard shove. "Get up. Sabrina is having her surgery tonight. Hurry and say something to cheer her on!"

Critically ill patients always encourage each other before surgery.

Before all this, I would have listened to my mother, climbed up, and used the few nice words in my head to praise Sabrina.

Wished her a successful surgery and a quick recovery.

But now all I could do was pass through my mother's body, again and again, and she couldn't hear a word I said.

Seeing me lying on the bed without a sound, my mother slapped it hard in anger.

"Get up! Didn't you hear me talking to you!"