Chapter 4

The morphine made the edges of the world softer, like someone had taken an eraser to the harsh lines of reality. I floated in that cotton-wool haze, watching Magnus refill my water glass with the careful precision of someone handling something precious and breakable.

"I destroyed him," I whispered.

Magnus paused, the pitcher hovering over the cup. "Who?"

"Dad." The word tasted like ash. "I destroyed Dad. And you. I threw you both away like you were nothing, like you didn't matter, and for what? For a man who couldn't even be bothered to visit me while I'm dying."

Magnus set down the pitcher and returned to the chair beside my bed. His scarred hands folded in his lap, patient and still.

"When Dad told me he wanted me to marry you instead," I continued, the words spilling out in a morphine-loosened confession, "I was so angry. I thought he was trying to control me, to treat me like property he could just hand over to his favorite charity case."

I saw Magnus flinch at that last phrase, and shame burned through the medication's fog.

"I didn't mean it like that," I choked out. "God, Magnus, I never thought of you that way. But I was twenty-two and stupid and so convinced that what Callahan and I had was this great, epic love that no one understood. So I cut you out. I said horrible things. I made Dad choose between us, and when he wouldn't give me his blessing, I eloped anyway."

The tears came again, hot and bitter. "Three weeks later, he was dead. Three weeks, Magnus. He died thinking I hated him. He died heartbroken and distracted and alone, and it's my fault. The car accident, the way he just... drifted into that intersection... he wasn't paying attention because I broke his heart."

My chest heaved with sobs that felt like they were tearing me apart from the inside. "And you. I told you to stay away from me. I said you were suffocating me, that your love was pathetic and unwanted. I watched you pack your bags and I didn't stop you because I thought I was choosing freedom. I thought I was choosing happiness."

I forced myself to meet his eyes, those dark, gentle eyes that had never looked at me with anything but devotion. "I'm so sorry, Magnus. I'm so desperately, horribly sorry. I ruined everything. I ruined us. I ruined Dad. And for what? For a man who left me bleeding on a marble floor while he comforted another woman's baby."

Magnus reached out slowly, giving me time to pull away if I wanted. When I didn't, his hand settled on my hair, stroking with the same tenderness he'd shown me when we were children and I'd scraped my knee.

"Isla," he said softly, "Stephen loved you until his last breath. So do I. That never changed. Not for one single moment."

"But I hurt you—"

"You were young. You were in love. You made choices that seemed right at the time." His thumb brushed away my tears. "And Stephen? He knew you loved him. He was stubborn and overprotective, but he understood. The accident wasn't your fault, Isla. It was just a terrible, random tragedy."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness," I whispered.

"You have it anyway," Magnus said simply. "You've always had it."

I closed my eyes, letting his words wash over me like a benediction I didn't earn but desperately needed.

---

Three days later, I woke to raised voices in the hallway outside my room. The medication had been adjusted, sharpening the world back into painful focus.

"—absolutely unacceptable that she's been here this long. I need her to sign some insurance documents." Callahan's voice, tight with irritation.

"You need to leave." Rebecca. I'd never heard her sound so coldly furious.

"Excuse me? I'm her husband. You can't bar me from—"

"Read this." A sharp sound, like paper hitting flesh. "Read every single page, you selfish, negligent bastard."

"What the hell is this?"

"It's your wife's medical file. The one you haven't bothered to ask about. Read it. Now."

Silence stretched, terrible and complete.

Then I heard it: a sound like all the air being punched from someone's lungs. A choked, strangled gasp.

"No," Callahan whispered. "No, this can't... stage IV? Six months ago? That's not... this has to be a mistake."

"Keep reading," Rebecca said, merciless.

More silence. Then a noise I'd never heard from my husband before: a broken, animalistic keen of pure anguish.

"The baby," he sobbed. "Oh God. Oh God, there was a baby. Emergency D&C following traumatic miscarriage. Isla, no, no, no—"

A heavy thud, like a body hitting the floor.

Through the narrow window in my door, I could see him: Callahan Bennett, on his knees in the fluorescent-lit corridor, my medical file scattered around him like damning evidence at a crime scene. His hands covered his face, his shoulders shaking with the force of his weeping.

I watched him shatter, and felt absolutely nothing at all.

Chapter 5

The door slammed against the wall, the impact echoing like a gunshot through the quiet oncology ward.

Callahan stumbled into the room. His designer tie was gone, his collar violently unbuttoned, his hair a disheveled mess of frantic hands. He looked like a man who had just survived a car crash, eyes bloodshot and wild as they locked onto my frail form in the hospital bed.

He didn't walk; he collapsed. His knees hit the linoleum with a heavy, sickening thud beside my bed. Before I could flinch away, he grabbed my hand, his grip so desperate it pulled the IV line tight beneath my bruised skin. He pressed my fingers to his wet, trembling mouth, his tears hot and slick against my knuckles.

"Isla," he choked out, the sound tearing from his throat like a dying animal's gasp. "Oh God, Isla. I didn't know. I swear to God, I didn't know."

My pulse didn't quicken. The heart monitor beside my bed maintained its slow, indifferent rhythm. I looked down at his shaking shoulders, at the snot and tears mingling on his usually immaculate face, and felt only the heavy, cotton-wool numbness of the morphine. The deep, yawning void in my chest where my love for him had once lived was utterly silent.

I slowly, deliberately, slid my hand out of his frantic grip.

"Isla, please," he sobbed, his empty hands grasping at the air above my blanket. "We'll go to MD Anderson. We'll fly to Switzerland. I'll sell the house, I'll drain the accounts, I'll spend every dime I have. I can fix this. Please, God, forgive me. Let me fix this."

"You can't buy back what you bled out of me," I whispered. My voice was a dry, papery rasp, devoid of the anger he was so desperately seeking. Anger meant I still cared. "The husband I needed died on those marble stairs, Callahan. You're just a stranger crying in my room."

He recoiled as if I had struck him, a fresh sob tearing through his chest. But the denial in him was a stubborn, malignant thing. It metastasized faster than my cancer.

Over the next forty-eight hours, Callahan transformed his guilt into a manic, suffocating crusade. Refusing to accept the terminal reality of my chart, he turned my sterile room into a grotesque shrine of performative grief. He hauled in imported cashmere throws I was too feverish to use and massive floral arrangements of heavy-scented lilies that made my ruined stomach violently heave. He paced the foot of my bed at all hours, barking into his phone, demanding impossible consultations with top-tier oncologists who all said the same thing: *It's too late.*

Whenever his frantic, chaotic energy threatened to spike my heart monitor, Magnus stepped in.

Magnus was a silent, immovable wall of muscle and calm. When Callahan tried to force a cup of expensive, nausea-inducing bone broth into my shaking hands, Magnus’s scarred fingers clamped around Callahan’s wrist like a steel vice.

"She said no," Magnus murmured, his voice low, vibrating with a dark, protective warning.

Callahan’s jaw worked, his eyes flashing with territorial rage, but beneath Magnus's dead-eyed stare, my husband's bravado crumbled. Callahan backed away, his hands shaking. Magnus never left. He slept in the stiff vinyl chair by the window, a dark sentinel guarding the ruins of my life, physically shifting his broad shoulders to block Callahan's line of sight whenever I needed to close my eyes.

But Callahan's absolute abandonment of the outside world eventually triggered a new crisis.

It was raining again on the fourth afternoon. I was drifting in a narcotic haze, lulled by the rhythmic turning of pages from Magnus's book, when the sharp, cloying scent of vanilla and baby powder sliced through the clinical smell of bleach.

"Callahan?" a sweet, breathless voice called out.

My eyes snapped open. The heart monitor hitched.

Eloise stood in the doorway. She held a pristine canvas tote bag in one hand, and strapped to her chest in a designer carrier was the infant. *Her* infant. The living, breathing child my husband had chosen to comfort while mine bled out on the floor.

Callahan, who had been aggressively highlighting a medical journal near the window, dropped his pen. It clattered loudly against the floorboards. "Eloise? What the hell are you doing here?"

She stepped fully into the room, her gaze sweeping over my sunken cheeks, the IV pole, and the bruised, yellowing skin around my collarbones. A micro-fraction of a smile—a fleeting, triumphant twitch—pulled at the corner of her glossed lips before she smoothed her features into a mask of innocent concern.

"You haven't been home in days, Cal," she said softly, shifting her shoulders so the baby let out a soft, sleepy coo. The sound was a serrated knife dragging across my empty womb. "I brought you some clean shirts. And... well, I thought Isla might want to see the baby. To cheer her up."

The heart monitor beside me began to shriek—a rapid, frantic tempo that mirrored the sudden, suffocating panic rising in my throat. Magnus was on his feet in a fraction of a second, his body instantly shielding me from her view, but the damage was already done.

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