We laid there, tangled, gasping, wrecked. It was over, and I couldn't move. I had been unraveled completely that I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. No one.

I realized at that moment that my crush, obsession or whatever I had for Jeremiah Carter had graduated to love. I was in love with my high school crush who was now my stepbrother.

His swear-slicked forehead pressed to mine, eyes half-lidded with what looked like guilt as he suddenly realized what pleasure had blinded him from realizing. "Teyana..."

His hand stopped moving as he pulled away from me and fell back to the bed. His breathing changed. He sat up slowly and dragged a palm down his face, like he was trying to wipe something off...regret, maybe. I turned my head just enough to watch him.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

He looked at me, eyes unreadable. "Tey..." he hesitated. "Shit. Did I...was that your first time?"

I blinked. The question wasn't accusatory. He looked guilty.

I could have teased him or shrugged it off like it didn't matter. But there was something raw in his voice, and I didn't want to ruin the honesty of what we'd just shared.

"Yes," I whispered. Not like I could lie. The evidence was on his black sheet, but not so visible.

His brows furrowed with concern against his handsome sweaty face. He looked away for a second, dragging a hand through his hair. "Goddamn it."

"Don't," I sat up beside him, placing my hand on his. "Don't you dare ruin this moment with guilt."

He turned to me. "I just..."

"I wanted it," I cut in. "I wanted it so much it scared me. And I'm glad it was with you."

He didn't speak right away. But he turned his hand, laced his fingers with mine. And that said more than anything else.

Then I asked, "when did you draw me?"

He didn't hesitate to reply. "After you were dared to kiss the hottest guy in the room." God. I didn't say anything afterwards. I just smiled.

Then, in a husky voice, he said, "Come on. Let's get cleaned up."

He led me to the bathroom, where warm steam rose around us. He moved with a deliberate slowness, his touch gentle as he washed my shoulders, my back. We stood under the spray, kissing without urgency, our touches softer now-tender, almost reverent.

He wanted to take me again but I was aching. I couldn't.

Being with Jeremy Carter like this felt like a dream come true. It was almost surreal.

Afterwards, he handed me one of his dark shirts and a pair of soft pants. They swallowed me whole, smelling distinctly of him-clean and familiar and comforting.

He looked at me, a faint smile on his lips. "You look good in my clothes."

"Good," I said, wrapping my arms around myself. "I'm keeping them."

He grabbed his black leather jacket, tossed me a helmet. "Come ride with me."

Oh, he asked me to bathe with him then ride with him? I'm fucked. The totally kind of 'fucked'

-

The engine of the bike roared beneath us like thunder, and I held him tighter, my arms wrapped snugly around his waist as we rode down the Pacific Ridge Highway. His scent filled my nose, the rush of the wind tearing through my hair, and the vibrations of the ride vibrating through my entire being. It felt like freedom.

I screamed into the wind, laughing like I hadn't in a while, burying my face in his back and placing a soft kiss between his shoulder blades.

"I feel like I'm flying!" I shouted.

"Of course you are," he called back over the wind. "With me."

He took us through winding country roads, past the ocean glimmering under moonlight, through the outskirts where stars peeked shyly behind dark clouds. I didn't care about consequences. Didn't think about our titles. I was his, and he was mine, at that moment.

When we got home, I was breathless and euphoric.

But the universe didn't let the bliss last forever.

Because...there, waiting outside the Carter huge mansion, was a girl.

She was tall, stunning, with legs for days, clad in a very short red gown that didn't leave much to imagination. Her perfectly manicured nails wrapped tightly around her phone as she paced in front of the door.

The moment she saw us pulling in, she lowered her phone and rushed toward Jeremy.

"Jer!" she shrieked, and before I could blink, she had jumped into his arms.

Then she kissed him.

Right in front of me.

Right on his mouth.

Not just a peck, but a full, possessive, I-know-this-is-mine kind of kiss.

I froze.

My legs stopped working. My chest caved in on itself, and I just stood there, blinking, still gripping the helmet like an idiot.

Jeremy didn't pull away from her.

When she pulled away, giggling and breathless, her eyes finally landed on me. Her brows lifted like she hadn't noticed me until now.

"Babe... who's that?" she asked, glancing between us.

Jeremy's jaw tensed. His arm was still around her waist.

He didn't even hesitate, "This is Teyana," he said coolly. "She's my stepsister."

Then he looked at me, like I was really just his stepsister. "Teyana, this is Bianca, my fiancee" He pulled her tighter into his embrace.

And just like that...

Nothing made sense anymore.

"Oh, you didn't tell me you have a stepsister, babe," His fiancée said, her perfectly lined cat eyes scrutinizing me closely, then lingering a bit on the shirt on me. Her man's shirt.

What was I even still doing here? My heart was beating fast. A second more, and I would embarrass myself. I walked fast past them, past her sugary perfume, her flirty laughter, and ran up the stairs.

The moment I reached my room, I slammed the door shut and sank to the floor, my hand holding my pounding chest.

What have I done?

I was still sore between my legs, my body still tingling with his touches. I still smelled like his soap. I...still felt new. Like a woman, but a heartbroken shattered woman.

Jeremy has a fiancée?

Then...what we had earlier meant nothing to him? No way. He had a painting of me in his room. Why did he paint me naked? Why did he go all the way with me?

He cared right?

It was the girl who kissed him earlier, he didn't kiss her. And I was his stepsister in the literal sense, so how else did I expect him to introduce me to his...fiancée?

No, he had no excuse. He should have mentioned having a woman to me. Why did he let me wear his clothes and tell me I was the only one who could wear them? 

With labored breath, I stripped off his clothes in disgust and threw them away-far from my sight. I didn't even realize when the tears started flowing. I felt used. 

Climbing into my bed lazily, I covered my naked body with my thick pink blanket. I felt so vulnerable and open. My thumb hovered over Carol's contact but I couldn't make the call. What would I tell her? That my stepbrother and I had sex just after we ignored each other at the party earlier? 

No.

I thought of calling Sean but that didn't seem fair to him or me. Calling my boyfriend after I cheated on him would soak me in guilt. My eyes clouded with more tears and I allowed them wet my pillow.

My hand went to the spot just above my chest, where his necklace had brushed against me when he leaned over me. His voice still echoed in my head.

"Tell me to stop..." he had said,

God, why didn't I tell him to?

*

My stomach growling with hunger was what woke me up the next morning. Looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes were pink and puffy. 

Memories of the previous night came rushing forward and I sighed. I didn't feel like eating, but I had to. I had a class to attend. I would just go downstairs-to the main kitchen and cook something for myself.

My mind wouldn't stop going to Bianca as I sauntered down the stairs. Did she sleepover? Did they...have sex? Did he tell her she was his just like he had told me? Was that something he said to every woman he got kinky with or it was just me? Oh, I flattered myself-how could it be just me?

My questions were answered because as I got closer to the kitchen, I got a glimpse of Bianca laughing in...the shirt Jeremy wore yesterday night. My heart plummeted in my chest.

I didn't think I could be more heartbroken than last night. Then as if that wasn't enough, I caught sight of who she was bickering with. It was John, Jeremy's father-my mother's husband. He was back. And he and Bianca were conversing like they had the 'father and daughter' kind of relationship.

"I've always known you were the best woman for my son. Your father and I are proud of you both, you just have to help me talk him into quitting the ride thing and joining the family business."

"Of course, he would come around. I know Jeremy so well. He's just taking his time to quit his motorcycle addiction slowly. Trust me, he will come around"

John leaned towards her and pecked her forehead. "Thanks, daughter."

I was no match. Bianca was definitely soul-deep into this family, hence why Jeremy introduced her as his fiancée.

I retreated back to my room to take a cold shower and changed into comfy clothes. I didn't leave my room, didn't mind skipping class anymore, until my mother came to fetch me for breakfast. I pretended to be in a good mood.

I didn't see him at breakfast. Bianca was there, bright-eyed and chirpy, joking with John and my mother, Ashley, like she belonged here.

Like she wasn't a wrecking ball to my chest. The more I looked at her, the more I hated my nerdy look. Her kind of beauty was almost painful to the eyes. She was gorgeous-smoking hot. I had never felt this insecure until now.

"Jeremy had to run out early," she said casually after my mum asked after him, sipping her mimosa. "He's always out before I even wake up. That boy and his bikes."

I blinked under my glasses, keeping my fork moving even though I couldn't taste a thing. My mom said something about internships, John chuckled about real estate, and Bianca just kept talking like I wasn't bleeding inside.

"Are you okay, Teyana?" It was John who asked. Now, all eyes on the table were on me.

"I...I'm just having a bit of a headache. I will be fine." I smiled. I knew how to fake it. That should help.

Then I heard her voice and I almost puked. "You know, Teyan, I'm just so glad that Jeremy has a sister now. I don't have to bother these old people whenever he's acting up. I have his sister to report him to and we can bicker about him all day." She laughed. 

I managed to look up at her under my big transparent glasses. I smiled and stiffly nodded, but couldn't bring myself to say anything this time around. Instead, I stood and pushed the chair backward with my body "I will be in my room." I excused myself before I choked on the lump in my throat. I didn't care if they thought I was rude. I just needed time to myself before I drowned in front of everyone.

I avoided Jeremy the whole day. I didn't go to the library. I skipped lunch. I stayed in Carol's room on campus and lied about cramps just so I wouldn't have to talk about anything real.

But two days later, when I went home to pack some stuffs, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

I thought it was my mum until I opened the door.

My heart stalled in my chest as I saw him standing there. All the memories of what we did a couple of nights ago rushing in.