Valerie

Join his pack?

The thought sent a shiver down my spine. I had just gained my freedom, and the last thing I wanted was to be chained to another pack, bound by their rules and expectations.

But, refusing Alistair's offer wouldn't come without consequences. I'd be making an enemy of him, and that was a risk I wasn't sure I was willing to take, especially from him, who had brought about the death of me and my child.

This left me with the worst kind of dilemma.

I weighed my options, my mind racing with the pros and cons.

Could I really trust Alistair? Even if I could trust him as an Alpha, then what about the pack?

Was I considering it? No.

The more I thought about it, the more conflicted I became. I was torn between my desire for independence and the potential dangers of refusing Alistair's offer. The silence between us seemed to grow thicker, heavier, as Alistair waited for my response.

I didn't know what to do.

If I refused, I didn't know what he'd do. But joining his pack...

My breath hitched. After minutes of thinking, it finally came to me.

"No," I finally spoke, making him frown before I rushed out

"I won't join your pack, but I have an alternative deal."

He stopped, raising an eyebrow but I continued speaking while hiding my nerves.

Once I finished, he chuckled but I stayed firm. Even though I could tell it wasn't what he wanted, he finally nodded.

"You make a fine bargain. Fine then," he agreed, raising his hand to shake

"Pleasure to work with you...Valerie." he purred,

I didn't reply, shaking his hands. The moment I touched him a sharp zing courses my senses. I couldn't barely process it as I let go, meeting his icy blue eyes.

"Likewise," I only managed to muster.

As I left the hall my mind circled the sensation. Had I done the right thing?

....

ONE MONTH LATER

That day, I had set up an alternative deal, one that was enough of a compromise between us.

Despite rejecting his offer, I agreed to be his personal Advisor and Pack mediator when necessary. In return I was given my freedom with an added bonus of protection within our city and his pack. It was a middling deal where we both got what we wanted.

In the end I didn't mind it. Mina took over some of the work in the flower shop while I was made to attend their pack meetings at least twice a week.

Working alongside Alistair was intimidating but unexpectedly, he'd loosened up around me, acting more like a lax boss and sometimes friend even though I still kept my distance. He'd continuously offer me a pack position and I would often reject it. Other times however, he would call, and it was unpredictable whether it was serious or not.

Like he did now.

"Sorry," I apologized, leaving the counter while calling Mina over to take care of the customer. Taking out my ringing phone I quickly answered only to receive curses.

I instantly stiffened at the thundering rage in his tone. I'd never heard him this angry before.

"What happened?" I asked,

"It seems like your former pack doesn't know the meaning of respect, nor do they understand what they'd just done." He spat out.

My blood turned cold.

As he explained, my heart fell. It happened exactly how it did in the past, with Alyn starting a problem that escalated this.

"What are you going to do? Did you declare war?" I asked, trying to not shake. I'd sworn off any contact with them but the thought of the war starting again...

"No," he chuckled and my breath hitched in relief, "why would I? After all, I have a mediator don't I? One that is coincidentally related to the pack."

Relief instead twisted into worry.

Maybe I'd hoped things would change, but I was proven wrong. There was no escaping this.

The Eclipse pack, my parents, Alyn and Tristan. I was going to face them again.

Days passed after Alistair announced his decision. He'd been the one to pick the place which was unsurprisingly his pack hall. With all the details set in place all that was left was for me to face them.

I had the time to prepare throughout the drive to the venue. Now I was ready.

I murmured thanks as the pack guards lent me a hand in stepping down. Whether due to my continuous stay or the deal, they had become much friendlier and polite. Some of the pack members greeted me on the way, but it still didn't stop my anxiety.

Stepping inside, I opened the door and was reunited with both packs. My past and present.

"The Shadow Moon Pack Advisor, Valerie Valentine!" They announced.

It took everything in me to not stumble as I walked in, ignoring the stares. Only as I sat in my place in the middle seat between both packs did I finally look up.

My former pack members were looking at me with shock, as if they had seen a ghost. My parents were also present, eyes wide.

And Tristan... I froze under the force of his stare. He didn't look angry but...different. Heated in a way that I'd never seen him look before.

My father suddenly rose, red faced.

"What is this Alpha Alistair? How dare you capture our daughter to mediate this fight?" he shouted,

"Be careful of your words Mr Valentine," Alistair cut him off, "She is no longer your pack member or Luna, as we and many other packs are aware of. You all were proud to say so as well during the annual meeting so why are you all complaining now?

She accepted my position of her free will. There is no reason for you all to complain unless...you're worried about something?"

Murmurs began but I couldn't focus. Why was Tristan still looking at me so intensely?

Valerie

"Enough," I spoke, using a tone that quieted them. I felt like I was a Luna again. Fighting the penetrating stare by my side looked away before continuing.

"Let's resolve this issue."

As a mediator I was meant to listen before making my judgment. Both of them stated their case, the latter being one of the Beta's daughter getting injured by Alyn before a break was proposed.

I was free to walk around as I thought over my judgment but stopped when I overheard murmurs from a corner. It was my former pack members talking.

"This is so annoying. Alpha Tristan barely said a word." one of them hissed which I frowned at.

I noticed it and was equally confused. How did the man who supported Alyn suddenly fall silent?

"Is he still sick? The pack doctor didn't say there was something wrong with him though..." Someone whispered, making my ears perk up.

"Alpha Tristan hasn't been the same since he suddenly fainted." the other hummed, "It's been two weeks since that happened and suddenly this conflict started. He must be going through a lot."

"And now Lu- the Former Luna joined the Shadow Moon pack? What the hell? Do you thi-"

I walked away before I could hear anymore.

'He'd fainted two weeks ago?' my brows furrowed. That never happened in my memories. What changed?

'Many things could have taken place.' I justified,

It was the same way I was surprised that Alyn wasn't Luna yet, or called 'Future Luna' at least. It has been months since I'd left. I would have expected them to have a mating ceremony by now. Was this the reason why?

I quickly pushed the thoughts away. It wasn't my place to think about that anymore.

....

When we returned for the meeting I was ready for the judgment. The conflict that had escalated and taken my life the last time was going to meet its end.

As I took my seat, I spoke.

"The end of this conflict is simple and could have been solved easily if it weren't for pride. As it was the Eclipse pack who had done the first offense, it would be them who would pay the price.

Alyn Valentine of the Eclipse pack is to make a public apology to the Shadow Moon pack and the Beta's daughter. Based on the tradition of packs, the Eclipse pack is obligated to say their public apology and send an offering to the pack."

It was the easiest and simplest resolution. The Eclipse packs weren't short of resources. But would they accept it easily?

I held my breath, waiting for resistance when Tristan suddenly stood up.

"I, Alpha Tristan, accept this punishment." be announced.

I stiffened. Of all the people I would have expected him to argue.

His eyes were still looking at me in that strange way. I forced myself to look away.

Meeting Alistair's gaze, I relaxed. My worries faded as he looked pleased with the judgment, smiling.

"In that case, the conflict between us is resolved," he announced. It was like a weight had fallen off my chest.

Alyn was forced to publicly apologize. I felt her and my parents glare my way. I ignored them. It was harder to ignore how Tristan gaze penetrated me, but I was set on ignoring it.

It didn't matter when I was leaving soon.

But I couldn't. To my surprise, Alistair suddenly proposed an impromptu party to celebrate the reliance of their packs. There was no way to escape as the moment he spoke, suddenly servants and other pack members came in with food, drinks and music. All of a sudden the hall filled with tension had reduced to music and joy, like nothing ever happened between them.

I stepped out nearly 20 minutes after the party began, slipping into the nearby garden for fresh air. It was evening when I'd arrived in the pack and now that things were resolved it was already nighttime.

After sending a quick text to Nina, I relaxed against one of the pillars and looked up at the sky. The crisis that had taken my life had been fully averted. Once they left now, there was no reason for me to contact them.

"Valerie."

I froze at the voice behind me. Snapping backwards I faced Tristan and my breath hitched.

He should have been celebrating. The Eclipses pack had left without so much as blood spilled and Alyn was with him, so why was he here?

Heat prickled me at the look he gave.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped defensively.

"To see you."

Before I could comprehend his words I was suddenly crushed by his arms. Shocked, I realized that he was holding me.

Panicked, I pushed him away, stumbling.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I cried out, wrapping my arms around myself.

"I needed to see you Valerie," he breathed out, reaching out to grasp my shoulders. I flinched at his touch yet it was gentle as he looked over me.

"Excuse me, Alpha Tristan, but we're no longer mates and ..."

"That doesn't matter. What matters is knowing why the hell are you here?" he snapped, shutting me up, "What were you thinking being in this pack? Were you captured? Are you hurt? How is the baby?"

'Wait...' I froze as I realized.

"How did you know about the baby?" I asked, horrified. Even now it was cryptic and he definitely didn't know back then, unless...

Looking at him, my heart trembled.

That same look came into his eyes,

"I saw it. The baby you lost...when you died." he said.

Disbelief pricked me. This couldn't be happening.

He looked up at me resolutely, something akin to desperation and sadness in his face.

"I know everything."

Valerie

'Impossible' I wanted to say if my breath hadn't been caught. But it wouldn't feel true even if I wanted it to be.

How else then, would he know that I died?

I wanted to shove him away, but his hold was firm.

"Valerie," he called out his eyes in the same emotions.

"Answer me. Why did you come here? Is Alistair holding you?" he asked, the same strange sad desperation written all over his face.

This couldn't be happening.

"No," I breathed out instinctively. I wasn't answering his question, but the effect was still the same as he reared back. He looked hurt.

But I couldn't care less about him. Not when I couldn't understand.

Why? How did he know? Was this some sick joke from the Goddess?

"You have to go. Leave me alone!" I finally bursted, pushing him away with all my strength. I stumbled in shock but quickly recovered. He still looked like he was in a daze.

"Valerie." he called out.

"How do you know?" I snapped, frightened.

"I don't..." he said, shaking his head, "I don't know how, but I saw it a few weeks ago."

"Alpha Tristan hasn't been the same since he suddenly fainted."

The murmurs of my former pack that I dismissed came back to haunt me and the puzzle pieces fit.

"It was in bits and pieces. I can't fully remember everything but I know enough." He looked up,

"It's true isn't it? That you were killed. There's no way that was my imagination. Not when you're here. Not when you reacted this way."

The way he spoke so unsurely...mentioning bits and pieces. That meant...he didn't know everything.

I gripped the nearest plant to relax even if the rest of me was still tense. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the realization.

Tristan tried to step towards me again.

"Don't come near me Alpha Tristan," I said, emphasizing his title. He stopped but it looked like there was hurt in his gaze.

Had it been in the past, I would have accepted all of this. His concern and the sadness in his eyes. Unfortunately it was a lifetime ago, literally.

Straightening I lifted my chin to look at him bravely,

"Our story has been over for a long time, Alpha Tristan, it's better to keep it that way," I said. The faster I dealt with this the faster I could leave.

He resisted, shaking his head,

"Valerie, I know I made mistakes. We all did. I didn't see how much you did for us. You've done so much." He choked out,

"But now I can fix them. It's not too late." he said desperately, eyes shimmering with tears as if pleading for me to understand.

How many times had I done the same? How many times did I wish for him to understand me? To see the love I had for him? To see me and not focus on Alyn?

Now he was offering everything on a silver platter but it was too late.

From the moment I woke up reborn it was already too late.

"Just leave," I said, attempting to pass him only for his hand to stop me.

"What about our baby then?" He pleaded, making me freeze in my tracks.

"I remember our drunken one night stand now. That was months ago, meaning that you're already pregnant." He said,

'Perhaps that was what was holding him back this time,' I realized. It had to be the baby.

With whatever he knew, he would never have come after me, would never act this way if it wasn't for knowing of the baby.

That and guilt, but I doubted he would have approached me out of mere guilt.

All this concern he was showing. This newfound emotions that I once craved was just because I was pregnant.

"Valerie," Tristan called out and nausea rose inside me as he reached out holding my hands softly.

"We can talk about this later, after we get back." he said,

'What?' It didn't take much to realize what he meant. He expected me to follow him back to the Eclipse pack.

"I swear, things will be better. For now we have to leave this place. This pack is dangerous. They killed you once. I refuse to let it happen again." He said stubbornly.

"I made a lot of mistakes, but I'll try to make up for them. I'll make sure you're safe. Our baby will be safe."

Was that all it ended with for him? My baby?

What about the pain he'd put me through. The way even in my death he was heartlessly focused on Alyn?

Spots grew in my vision and his hand felt more like hot coals.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Leave." I said in the calmest voice I could muster.

"Maybe what you saw was the truth. Maybe I did die and return back here. Maybe this was my second chance to fix my life, away from the pain and danger you and my family and the pack would put me through before I died, forgotten and unappreciated by everyone I'd loved and sacrificed for." I snapped, watching the blood on his face drain away.

It was strange to see him this speechless in contrast to his past when he would snap at me and it made the torn bond ache.

"Maybe now I'm wiser and left before any of you could hurt me even more. What matters is that I'm gone. I'm never going back." I said, watching him flinch.

When I left, it was with the assurance that I'd left my past life behind. Rejecting him hurt but I prepared for it knowing that he wouldn't care.

Facing him now felt more painful than back then.

"The conflict that caused all this has been resolved. Consider it my last gift to you Tristan." I said, ignoring the burning knot in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes.

"Valerie-"

"No." I snapped, panic rising. I had to leave.

"The baby-"

Those two words were my last straw.

"The baby is gone!" I screamed, turning towards him.

Silence followed immediately after, tension suffocating the air with my four words. I hadn't expected to say anything so brash it's implications that our baby was...

His face was slack, eyes wide in a shocked look I'd only seen from him a few times before, never aimed at me.

A part of me wanted to take it back yet as a tear slipped from my eye, I spoke again, cementing his thoughts.

"There's nothing to fix. Not anymore." I said, in a broken voice, reflecting the shattered pieces of my heart.

I didn't know whether I should feel regret at this moment, when my baby was still growing in my belly. I fought the instinctive urge to touch my belly to affirm it.

As I met his gray orbs I nearly wavered.

The desperation had melted away, into something I had only seen once years ago on the day his parents, the former Alpha and Luna died. It looked like his world was ripped away from him.

I didn't want any of this. I just needed him to leave me alone.

His face looked shattered, but it looked like he was also going to say something. Whether it was a protest I didn't know. We were at a stalemate and somehow I couldn't move, or lose eye contact.

Before either of us could say anything , the sound of someone's throat clearing broke through, making me flinch. There was someone else here?

"Is something going on here?"