Love and Hate: When I Completely Leave This World

It was all on you.

Mom and Dad said adopting Jane was supposed to keep me from getting lonely.

But since Jane showed up, I had become the loneliest one around here.

They just let her tear up my dresses, shove whiskey down my throat, and even kill my puppy.

Mom told me to toughen up and look out for my "sister".

I hadn't told her that I was seriously ill, practically knocking on death's door.

1

That day was Valentine's Day.

I was two months into saying no to chemo.

The doctors weren't kidding—my health was tanking, and now I could barely make out the fireworks outside.

Sitting by the window, I soaked in the smell of gunpowder, the distant laughter, the whole nine yards of holiday cheer.

Just my luck, some clunky machine noise cut right through my moment of peace.

The door swung open.

There were Jane and Mom, arm in arm, walking in.

Mom squinted with a grin, "It's still early; I'll make some sweet cake. We'll have a nice family evening until your dad gets back and we all jet off somewhere fun."

Catching sight of me at the window, she froze.

Blurry as it was, I watched her smile slowly drop.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

Her voice was icy, tinged with fury, like she was grilling a criminal.

"There."

I nodded towards the door handle, "Picked the lock. Fixed it afterward."

I felt her anger spike, "Who gave you the right to break in? That's straight-up illegal—you could end up behind bars."

"Don't know what shady crowds you've been running with, learning all these low-life tricks."

Yep, that was Mom—always a bucket of warmth for me.

Returning home only to be treated like I was some kind of thief.

I never wanted to come back here, but it wasn't like I could drop dead just anywhere.

That would cause troubles I didn't want.

So, I thought I might as well stir the pot a little longer.

You get to a point of so many letdowns, you stop letting yourself get trampled on.

Zero expectations lead to zero fears.

"No matter how low-down, you're the one who had me. You trash-talk me, what about yourself?"