According to my colleague, Ethan had carefully picked out every single fishbone for Chloe. But in all the time I'd known him, he never ate fish because he couldn't be bothered with the bones.
Whenever I cooked fish, he never lifted a finger to help. Instead, he'd puzzledly ask, "Why bother with such a tedious dish?"
I glanced at the lunchbox and coolly said, "I'm not hungry, so take it and leave."
Ethan's smile froze, and a slightly irritated look flashed in his eyes as he snapped, "What are you upset about now? I went out of my way to cook for you, and you wouldn't even try it."
Pressing my lips together, I helplessly replied, "I texted you half an hour ago and asked if you wanted to have lunch together, but you never replied."
At that, his annoyance vanished and was replaced by guilt. He'd been ignoring my messages ever since Peanut was admitted. He used to text back in seconds, even in meetings. But now, he'd glance at his phone before putting it away without a word.
"I'll pick you up after work and make dinner for you at home, alright?" he said, trying to make up for it.
When I nodded and said nothing, he turned to leave.
By now, all my sleepiness had vanished, so I got up and wandered around the garden a bit. That was when I spotted two familiar figures.
Sitting side by side on the garden swing, Chloe and Ethan leaned into each other like a picture-perfect couple. Then, he pulled out a rose from his coat and held it up to her with a delicate necklace dangling from the stem.
Chloe lit up with excitement, reminding me of my past self.
After the HIV incident, I'd been forced to stay home. I'd spent the days wallowing in misery and barely spoke.
Back then, he sat next to me just like this and pulled out a bouquet with a necklace tucked inside. I could remember how warm and genuine the look in his eyes had been when he said, "Cheer up, Megan. Your happiness means everything to me.
"If I could, I'd spend my whole life making sure you always smile."
Back then, I believed I was the luckiest woman in the world, only to forget that humans could change. I was never special to him, so he could easily give someone else the love he showed me.
My thoughts were interrupted by a text from the senior resident.
When I got to his office, he looked at me for a moment, as if hesitantly weighing his words.
"Megan, everyone knows how much you've given to this hospital these past years. There's an advanced training opportunity opening up that I meant to offer you, but it's out of state. You won't be able to come back for a while, so I'm wondering if…"
I didn't hesitate to agree. "I'll do it! I'll go!"
He looked surprised before smiling and patting my shoulder.
Just as I stepped out of the office, one of my closest colleagues grabbed my hand and beamed. "Congrats, Megan! After you leave, we'd better keep in touch every day, you hear me?"
I laughed and promised to do so, but then a low voice came from behind me.
"Leave? Where are you going?"
I turned around to find Ethan staring at me. Before he could say anything else, I cut in. "I'm thinking of using my annual leave to travel for a bit."
He visibly relaxed and stepped forward to take my hand. "Let me come with you."
I could feel my eyes welling up with tears, so I panickedly lowered my head so he wouldn't be able to see.
…
That afternoon, as I rushed between surgeries, I couldn't help but stop in my tracks on my way past Peanut's ward.
Ethan was inside, wearing a costume and putting on a whole show, as if worried Peanut might get bored.
The latter was beaming, while Chloe was affectionately wiping sweat from Ethan's forehead. They looked so much like a happy family of three that anyone would envy them, including me.
As I pressed a hand to my stomach, I wondered if we'd be that happy, too, if I had a child. But that thought slipped away as quickly as it hit me.
Since Ethan couldn't devote all his love to me, how could he ever love my child? I didn't want my baby fighting for a father's love right after they were born.
By the time I finished my last surgery at night, I was so worn out that I fell asleep at my desk.
Later, feeling someone drape a coat over my shoulders, I forced my eyes open to see Ethan, leaning close with his familiar smile.
"You're exhausted, huh? Let me take you home."
With that, Ethan scooped me up, while I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. As my eyes landed on the faint smudge of foundation on his collar, I started wondering if he'd carried Chloe the same way just moments ago.
Fighting back my tears, I swallowed the bitterness in my throat.
In the car, he started to explain for once. "That kid's not mine—I'm just his godfather. You don't have to worry about Chloe, either, because I'll make sure they're gone once Peanut's discharged. Then, we'll go on that trip."
He must have realized how flimsy his excuse sounded because he kept glancing at me, trying to read my reaction. When I calmly nodded, he finally focused on the road.
Halfway home, Chloe's call popped up on the car screen. Ethan flinched and hesitated briefly before tapping on the answer button.
"Ethan, Peanut's crying for you! Please come back!"
In the background, Peanut's tearful voice came through. "Where are you, Daddy? I had a nightmare, and I want you here!"
Ethan slammed on the brakes, and I was sent pitching forward before the seatbelt snapped me back against the seat so hard it hurt.
"Hang on, okay? I'll be right there," he replied in a seemingly calm voice, but the way his grip tightened on the wheel said everything. He was dying to turn the car around.
But Peanut's sobs grew louder and more pitiful until finally, Ethan decided he couldn't just sit by and do nothing. He looked over at me and said, "Megan, could you get out of the car and grab a cab? I'll be back soon."
I'd expected his reaction, but hearing his words still made me clench my fist hard.
The moment my feet hit the ground, he pulled away without looking back. Exhaust from his car blurred my vision as I hugged the coat tighter and started walking alone. After all, the neighborhood was too far out, and it was almost impossible to grab a cab.
As I walked, I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around to look, the man standing behind me sent shivers running down my spine.
"Well, it's been a while, Dr. Reid. You're living a good life now, but I spent two months rotting in prison because of you."
Grinning, he pulled out a needle and continued, "My HIV hasn't healed yet, so could you care to help me out again?"
My hands curled into fists as I bolted down the street in fear. But he came after me like a ghost that was almost impossible to shake off, so I had no choice but to dial Ethan's number.
On the dark, silent street, all I could hear was my pulse thundering in my ears and the endlessly ringing call.
Just as he was closing in on me, the call finally connected. However, Chloe's voice was the first to ring out.
"Ethan, are you going home tonight?"
"No. I'm staying here with you and Peanut."
The line went dead before I could say a word, and the tears I'd been holding back finally broke free. The last shred of hope I'd been holding onto was crushed with that final call.
Once, Ethan had abandoned me for wedding photos, and now, he'd left me alone for their child. He'd promised he'd never leave me behind, but the truth was, he would always leave me for someone else.
With that, I stopped running and watched as the man drew closer.
Right as he lunged, someone yanked me back. A tall, broad figure stepped in front of me and chided in a solemn voice, "You didn't get enough time in prison, did you? I'll gladly send you back."
With that, he gripped the man's wrist, knocked the needle to the ground, and dragged him away.
"Don't worry. There are plenty of patrols in this area," he said over his shoulder before disappearing into the dark, along with that fear that had been strangling me.
After getting home, I showered right away, and the water cleared my head. Deep down, the part of me that used to fight and hope slowly calmed down until it went completely dead.
…
At dawn, I pulled my suitcase through the airport and received a message from Ethan at the terminal. "Where are you? Why aren't you home? I brought you breakfast."
Only when I boarded the plane and fastened my seatbelt did I calmly type, "Let's get a divorce."
Calls immediately bombarded my phone, but I powered it off with a faint smile.
